Kwenzeka ukuba ubonakala ungumhlobo kunye nomfana, kodwa kuphela umntu ojikelezayo ukhangelele ngendlela engaqhelekanga, kwaye abanye bathi: "Ngaba uyamthanda?". Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba uphika kangakanani, abayikholelwa. Ngoko mhlawumbi abantu abavela ngaphandle bangabona bhetele, kwaye umhlobo wakho uye waba ngumthandi eside, kuphela wena ngokwakho awufuni ukuyijonga.
Ukudlala
Ngabahlobo bokwenene, amantombazana akalokothi athabele. Ababoni ngolu hlobo kwaye abanalo umnqweno wokwenza oku ngaphandle kokuqonda. Kodwa ukuba udla ngokubamba amaqabana anomnene, thuzela ngokukrakra, njengokungathi ujabule njalo njalo, kufuneka ucinge ngolu hlobo. Musa nje ukuziqhelisa kwaye uzigwebe ukuba uziphatha ngale ndlela kunye nawo wonke umntu. Enyanisweni, umgca phakathi kobuhlobo nothando uhlala uvakalelwa. Nangona uthanda ukukhwela kunye nabo bonke abahlobo bakho, umntu ongenamdla kuwe njengendoda, uya kucofa ngokungafaniyo kwaye ubambe kwizandla zakhe ixesha elide kunomnye umntu. Kwakhona, awuyi kuthandwa xa eqala ukuhlazeka, ukuphulaphula amahlaya akho amnandi, nangakumbi xa ephendula ngomoya ofanayo. Kodwa ke, ekuthandeni nomntu, le ntombazana ayisoze yakulibala "ukwakha amehlo akhe." Yena ngokwakhe akakwazi ukuqaphela oku, kodwa ukuba umntu ovela kuwe ukhuluma ngako, kwaye ngaphezu kweyodwa, ngoko kufuneka uqikelele ngezinto ozenzayo noko uvakalelwa.
Nqwenela
Ukuba sijonge abahlobo bethu, ngoko sivavanya ukunyaniseka kwabo. Oko kukuthi, sinokuthi umhlobo unomfanekiso omhle, iinwele ezintle, sinokuthi nokuba ngumntu ongcono kwaye othanda kakhulu emhlabeni. Kodwa olu vavanyo luya kufana nokuvavanya kwamantombazana ethu. Kodwa xa uthe umhlobo wakho unomzimba omuhle kwaye uqala ukuba nomnqweno wokumthintela, umkhathaze njalo njalo, ngoko ufanelekile ukucinga ngokuvakalelwa kwakho. Abasetyhini bahlala becingisisa ngamadoda abathandayo. Ukuba loo mntu akayithandeki kwisenzo sezesondo, ngoko umfazi akayi kucinga ngokuthinta, umzimba kunye njalo. Akumangalisi nje kuye, kungenjalo ayibi. Kodwa xa iingcamango zesondo ziqala ukuguqa entloko yakho, akudingeki ulungele ubuhle bendoda encinci njalo njalo. Ndikholelwe, nangona i-onetal yobuhle, ukuba le ndoda ayizange ibangele ukuba uyithande imvakalelo, awuyi kucinga ngaye. Ukunyuswa komhle womntu kunye nomnqweno kuyinto ehluke ngokupheleleyo. Ngoko ke, akufanele sisoyike iminqweno yomntu. Kungcono ukuwaqonda kwaye ulinganise yonke into ukugqiba ukuba wenze ntoni emva koko ukukhanyela yonke into, kwaye olunye usuku luyeke kwaye uzive unetyala phambi komntu oye wambiza umhlobo wakho. Khumbula ukuba iimvakalelo zingakuphazamisa kumntu onokukwazi ukuba ngumbini omkhulu.
Nomona
Esinye isibonakaliso sothando sinobudala. Kwaye umona awunobungane, xa umntu ekhwankqise ukuba umhlobo uyeke ukunyamekela. Hayi, kuyahluke ngokupheleleyo ekuqaleni kwaye kwenzeka kuphela xa ibhinqa ifumanisa ngokusondelelana kwindoda kunye nabanye abafazi. Yena ngokwakhe akakwazi ukuchaza isizathu sokuba, kodwa ngaphakathi kwakhe uqala ukugqabhuka umsindo kunye nentukuthelo. Ulungelelanisa iimvakalelo ezinjalo kukuba enye intombazana ayifanele umhlobo wakhe, ukuba uziphatha ngokungalunganga, ukuba akabi nomona ngokwenene, kodwa udlala nje kuphela. Intombazana iqala ukudlala ngokuthobekileyo le ntombazana ngokuthi ungumrhwebi ngenxa yesinye sezizathu-ecinga ukuba kunjalo. Kwaye kwenzakalisa ukuba umbone ngeyesibini, ungakhankanyi nto into. Ngexesha elinjalo ucinga ukuba lo mntu ungowabo kuphela kwaye akanako ukubonisa uvelwano ngomnye umntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo, amantombazana anelungelo lokwenza ubumnini bohlobo, kodwa akhohlwe ukuzikhumbuza ukuba iimvakalelo ezinjalo i-vykonikayut into ethile kuphela kumhlobo omnye kunye nakwezo zihlandlo xa enentombazana. Imvakalelo yakho kule nsizwa ayinobungane njengoko ufuna ukucinga. Oku akukho nto ngaphantsi kokuwa othandweni. Kwaye abafazi abakujikelezayo uyasabela i-tacostro nje ngenxa yokuba ufuna ngaphakathi emphefumlweni womphefumlo wakhe ukuba ube ngowakho kuphela, ukwenzela ukuba uya kugxininisa isandla sakho ngokunyamezela ukuba uncumo kwaye uchithe ixesha kunye nawe.
Izimpawu zengqalelo kunye nesimo sengqondo kubo
Enye indlela yokujonga isimo sakho sengqondo kumntu kukuhlalutya indlela oziphatha ngayo kunye neemvakalelo zakho ngelixa ebonisa ezinye iimpawu zokunakwa, okanye ngokufanayo, akenzi. Kulo mzekelo, sithetha ngezipho kunye nezinye izinto ezincinci ukuba amantombazana abathanda ukuzenza. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ngosuku lwakho lokuzalwa umhlobo uthenge iirasi ezimvu, owake wathetha kwintetho kunye neencwadi owaliphuphayo, naphezu kokuba uyayizonda ukufunda kunye nokuhamba ngeempahla zincwadi, uvakalelwa njani? Ukuba le mvakalelo yesintu esiqhelekileyo, ngoko konke kulungile kunye nawe kwaye ungumhlobo ngokwenene. Kodwa ukuba uyaqonda ukuba uphakamiswe kwaye uyamxatyiswa, ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukukhala ngenxa yolonwabo, ngoko kukho into engekhoyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuzonwabisa kunye nokuthuthumela kunjengexesha elifanelekileyo xa umntu esimthandayo enza zonke iimfuno, kwaye asize sizicelele. Kodwa kubonakala ngakumbi ukuba zethu iimvakalelo zangempela kwiimeko apho umntu ochaseneyo akwenzi oko silindele. Ngokomzekelo, xa uhlala ulinde umhlobo, enethemba lokuba incoko yavalwa, endaweni yayo akazange ayibeke ingqalelo kwaye ivalwe kwelinye igumbi elinombala obomvu umfazi. Ukuba uvakalelwa ngethuba elithile ukuba awuveki ukugula ngokungenakuzezela ekuqaleni, nangona xa kukho ukuzonwabisa, xa ukhumbule ukuba ujwayele ukunyamekela kuye, ukuba wayehleli nawe, ehlekisana nawe, ebuka kuphela kuwe, kwaye ngoku oku akunjalo, ngoko iimvakalelo zakho zingaphezu kohlobo. Cinga ngalo kwaye uvule umhlobo wakho kude kube sekwephuzile. Emva kwakho konke, mhlawumbi uye wakuthanda ngokunyanisekileyo, mhlawumbi nawe uyazi oku, kodwa ngandlela-thile wanquma ukuba wayengumhlobo nje. Kule meko, awukwazi ukuhamba ngemijikelezo kunye nemithetho oye wenyuka yona, vula intliziyo yakho kwaye uya kuvuya ngokuqinisekileyo.