Amantombazana amahle anenzuzo enkulu kubantu. Emva koko, akukho nto inokubenza bayeke ukwenza uthando njengoko bafuna. Kwiimeko ezinzima, umfazi akayi kuva Ukuba kuyimfuneko, unokudala umonde kwaye ufanise. Kodwa loo mntu akayi kukwazi ukubonakalisa ukulungela ukulala ngesondo xa ephethe iimpawu zokungahambi kakuhle okanye ukulungiswa kobuthathaka. Yaye makabeke ukuba loo nto ibhinqa ikwazi ukuziva konke ubunzulu bomntu. Kodwa kufuneka enze inzame yokuqonda isimo sengqondo somntu omthandayo kunye nokumxhasa ngexesha elincinane.
Igama elithi "ukungabi namandla" lithetha akukho ulungiso. Nangona kunjalo, ingxaki ye-fiasco yindoda elele embhedeni ayikho into ephantsi kwendawo yonyango. Asiyi kuchaza izifo ezingenasiphelo zezifo ezibangele ukungabi namandla okanye ukulungiswa okubuthathaka. Siza kujonga kuphela loo matyala xa iingxaki zibangelwa zizimo ezithile zengqondo. Emva koko, ukubuyiswa kuxhomekeka kuxhomekeke kwiqabane. Kwaye le nto, umfazi kufuneka azi into enokubangela ukungaphumeleli komntu othandekayo kunye nendlela afanele aziphathe ngayo kwiimeko ezithile.
Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukufunda izizathu, kufuneka ukhumbule kanye kunye nazo zonke ezi zilandelayo: iphoso lakho alikho apho! Musa ukuthatha oku njengobubungqina bakho bokungahambi ngesondo. Ngoko endaweni yokutshitshisa nokuqiqa malunga nobukhulu bokungaphantsi kwakho, bhetele uhlalutye imeko kwaye uyilithelekise nale ilandelayo: ingaba kunjalo na? Emva koko silandele iingcebiso zethu - indlela yokuziphatha kunye nendlela ongayi kuyenza ngayo.
Ixesha lokuqala
Awunalo ithemba eliphezulu, ebonakala ebhedeni elinye kunye nomfana omncinci. Ngokukodwa ukuba ungumfazi onamava kwimicimbi yezesondo, kwaye umhlobo wakho useyintombi. Kungenxa yoko, iquka ukwesaba okungcwele kwezinto zakho eziyinkimbinkimbi kwimidlalo yothando. Kwaye, oku, kunokumthintela ekubeni "phezulu". Isizathu sokungaziphathi kakuhle kukuba umfana uhlala iminyaka ekulindelwe kulo mzuzu omkhulu, ucinga ngaye rhoqo, uxoxe ngeendlela ezikhethwa ngabahlobo bakhe. Ngenxa yoko, xa imeko enqwenelekayo ekugqibeleni isondele kwi-incarnation, inkqubo yayo yesifo kunye ne-cardiovascular is overweight. Kule meko, umthandi omncinane uqhubeka ekholelwa ukuba uyazilawula ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa umzimba awukwazi ukukhohliswa, kwaye ngoko iziganeko zobuthathaka besikhashana okanye ukulungiswa kobuthakathaka azinqabile. Ngokukhawuleza uqala ukuziva ephazamisekile.
Ngelishwa, imeko yakhe idluliselwa ngokukhawuleza kumlingane, naye uyaziva ekhululekile. Oku kwongeza ibhakhe yamanzi emlilweni wekhanuko. Izwi elikhohlisayo liqala ngokukhawuleza kuye ukuba intombi ethandekayo ayifuni ukulala naye. Kwaye emva koko emva koko, ngokukhawuleza uyaqonda ngokukrakra ukuba nangona wayefuna, kwakungayi kusebenza nantoni naxa-kuba ayikwazi. Kwaye kukho into entsha, eyona nto ihlazo ngakumbi ukuba uya kuqala ukuxelela wonke umntu kunye nomntu onobuqhetseba obushushu. Kwaye apha apha kumntu ohluphekileyo uvalwe ngqo ngokuqinileyo.
Ngokomgaqo, akukho nto ekhethekileyo kule meko, ibhinqa ayifuni ukwenza. Ungazami ngandlela-thile uqhube ngesondo kunye noko kukuthi, kwaye ekugqithiseni ubuciko ukuwa kwi-pillow ngokucwina. Akuyi kunceda. Into kuphela onokuyicebisa-yiba nesineke, musa ukunyanzelisa imicimbi. Vumela ikhono lakho elingenamava ukuba uqonde ukuba uyayiqonda imeko yakhe, ukuba kuyinto engokwemvelo. Mphazamise ngethuba ixesha elide kwiingcamango ezilukhuni, uze uzame ukuqala konke kwakhona, ukwandisa ubude be-caresses yokuqala.
Uziva unetyala
Ukuba iqabane lakho lingumcebisi onamava, oko akuqinisekisi kuwe ukuba phakathi kwemidlalo yothando ngokukhawuleza akayi kuqala ukufumana ubunzima obuthile-ukungabi namandla okanye ukulungiswa okubuthathaka. Ngokwezondo zobulili, lihle liva, ubukho bezinye iindwendwe zingabangela iingxaki zokumiswa. Mhlawumbi uchitha ixesha kunye nawe, uyaziqonda ngokugqithiseleyo unomdla wecala phambi kohlobo oluthile lweentombi zakhe okanye umfazi wakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenzekayo xa isondlo sondla indoda ngokukhawuleza ivela kunye nembono yokungcatsha komnye umfazi. Kwaye oku nangona ihora elidlulileyo i-gentleman yakho yayifuna ngamandla ukuba ube nesondlo kunye nawe. Umntu uqala ukuzijonga njengomntu ongalonwabo nangenabongi. Kwaye i-receptors yeentloni isabela ngokukhawuleza ekutshintsheni kwimoya, ngokunyanzela ukumthintela nayiphi na ithuba lokuziphatha. Musa ukumxelela kulo mzuzwana: "Ndiyazibuza ukuba yiyiphi inzondo yakho yangaphambili (umfazi) esetyenziselwa ukukwenza ulungiso?" Yithi: "Mhlawumbi, oku kukuhle. Unethuba lokuphinda uhlolisise izikhonkco zakho. "
Ukulala ngaphandle koLuthando
Ngokuchasene nenkolelo eninzi, njengokuba bonke abantu "bangamadoda", ngokwenene banako amava amaninzi. Ininzi yabo inqwenela ukungena kwiintlobano zesini esithandana nabasetyhini abathile, kodwa kuphela abo babathandayo nababahlonelayo. Kwaye nabo bathanda kwaye babahlonele. Kwaye xa umntu engabaza ukunyanzela imfesane kuye, ngoko unako ukuqiniseka ukuba usebenzisa nje "umatshini wesondo" ukuze anelise iimfuno zenyama.
Abazali be-Sexologists bacinga ukuba kuyiphutha ukukholelwa ukuba ngowesifazane kuphela onokuvakalelwa kukuba usebenzisa. Kubonakala ukuba amadoda ayazi le ntliziyo. Kuphendula kuye ukuba bayabhikisha ngokuxhatshazwa okunjalo. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo lo mbhikisho ugxininiswe ngesimo sokungafuneki okanye ukulungiswa okubuthathaka. Awukwazi ukucinga ukuba mangaphi amaxesha ekufunyenwe kwindoda ekhethekileyo, esityholwa ngabafazi babo ngokungenasiphelo, bachaze indlela abaziphatha ngayo ngaphandle kokuzilalisa ngokukhatyuka kumfazi! Abazange bathande ukwenza uthando, xa lo thando lwungekho. Ngoxa umfazi waqhubeka efuna ukulala ngesondo kuphela ngenxa yokuphucula umzimba.
Asinakucinge ngoku imeko xa iimvakalelo ezifudumele zihamba ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa emva kwayo yonke into, umfazi ucinga ukuba xa elala nomntu, sele sele esenza ukuba aqonde ngokuthanda kwakhe. Kwaye ke akunakucinga ukuba kubalulekile ukuba ngandlela-thile ubonakalise uthando lwakhe. Akazi ukuba indoda engazange ifumane ingqalelo kwithenda kwiqabane layo ixesha elide, ngokungaqondakaliyo iyaqala ukungathandabuzi iimvakalelo zakhe. Kwaye amazwi angathandekiyo akuva kuye, unamandla ngakumbi kuye ukukhula ukuba uyasetyenziswa nje. Musa ukuxelela indoda: "Woza, qhekeka. Ndiyazi ukuba ufuna le nto! "Yithi bhetele:" Andikuxelelanga kangangexesha elide ukuba ndikuthanda kakhulu! "
Utywala
Esi sizathu sokuba "ukungatshatanga" okanye ukungabikho kobuthakathaka mhlawumbi oqhelekileyo phakathi kwesondo esomeleleyo. Kubhekwa njengona "inhlonipho" ukuthethelela i-fiasco yesilisa. Ingxaki kumlingane kukuba akaze azi ukuba kusengaphambili ukuba utywala ludlala ihlaya elibi nanamhla okanye akunjalo. Akunakwenzeka ukubona kwangaphambili ukuba iza kwenzeka njani, kuba umzimba womntu awunakulinganiswa. Iqabane limele likhumbule ukuba umntu akanako ukusola umntu otywalayo ngokukodwa ukuba angenamandla. Kungenxa yokuba, xa ekhulile, akayi kukukhumbula ukuxhatshazwa kwakhe. Kodwa amazwi omfazi othandekayo malunga nokungahambisani nomntu uya kukhumbula. Kwaye kuya kuhlanjululwa oku kubomi bakhe bonke. Ngoko ukuba awuhlali ujongene nobuthathaka obusini beqabane elibangelwa utywala, kungcono ukufunda intetho ethi "Ngokumalunga noMnxeba weNxila" ngosuku olulandelayo. Mkhumbule ngesongelo se-cirrhosis yesibindi kunye nezilonda zesisu. Kodwa akukho mzekelo ungaxineli xa ungabikho ukulungiswa, ungayisusi kwiluhlu lwezesondo! Ngendlela, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ekuseni uya kuphumelela -kuba oko kuphela akuyi kuthintela imeko yombango. Musa ukuthi: "Ungumgqomo! Uya kucinga, andisayi kusela nto, kodwa ndiphelile! "Yithi:" Hlonipha. Siza kuphinda sizame xa usuqalile. Kuhle ukuba ukwazi ukufika kumbhede wakho ukhuselekileyo kwaye uzwakala! "
Eyona nto ilungileyo yintshaba yezinto ezilungileyo
Ngokuqhelekileyo le meko ibonisa ukuba izibini ezidibeneyo ezinokuthandana kwexesha elide. Inokuthi ibe yinkcubeko kunye nabalingani bezocwangciso zangaphambili zesini. Ngenxa yeemeko ezijoliswe kuyo, ubuhlobo babo ekuqaleni bephuhlisiwe kangangokuthi ixesha elide abazange bahambe ngaphaya kwenyameko baxhamle kwiindawo ezincinci zepaki kunye nokumanga ngaphantsi kwenyanga elunxwemeni lolwandle. Kodwa ukuba abantu bathandana, baya kuba se-bedini efanayo. Yaye baya kuvuya kuba kungekudala baya kufeza oko baphuphayo. Kule meko, ngokokuqala ngqa, ibhinqa linokuthi lanele ngokwaneleyo kwintsebenziswano. Nangona le ndoda isemhlanganweni wokuqala osondeleyo ifuna ukuzingqina ukuba inothando kakhulu. Akayikucinga ngenye indlela, ecwangcisa imeko yeso siganeko esilinde ixesha elide. Ufuna ukuhlanganisa lonke ulwazi lwakhe kwintsimi yolonwabo, ukuze ahlasele umfazi wakhe othandekayo kwindawo leyo aze ave amazwi akhe athandekileyo: "Andizange ndize ndibone nanto nabani na ..."
Kodwa, njengokuba uyazi, sonke sifuna, njengento efanelekileyo, kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo iyavela, njengokuba njalo. Kwiimeko ezibhekiselweyo, ngamanye amaxesha ayisebenzi nhlobo. Kungenxa yokuba indoda ifuna ukugxuma ngaphezulu kwentloko yakhe kwaye kwimizamo emininzi iyatshisa kancinane kunokuba kufanelekile. Ziyithuthuzele, bafazikazi abathandekayo - ukuhluleka kwakhe kuthethwa yimvakalelo enamandla kakhulu kuwe. Kwaye oko kuthetha ukuba akukho nto ilahlekileyo. Ungathi: "Kwaye kutheni le bhedzana yayidinga! Mhlawumbi siza kuhamba nje? Kukho nawuphi na, xa ungijikeleza kwiindawo ezijikelezayo, ndandiziva ndivakalelwa ngakumbi. " Yithi: "Kutheni sikhuphe, kuba silinde le mzuzu ixesha elide! Masizame kwakhona emva koko. "
Umbandela wezindlu
Abaninzi bayazi ukuba ukuchitha ubusuku kunye nentombazana eyaziwayo kwindawo ahlala kuyo nabazali bakhe kuthetha ukuba uhlale evakalelwa "ngaphantsi kwe-hood." Kungenxa yokuba kunqabile ukuba ngabazali banokuthintela ubuncinci ukusuka kwimizuzu engapheliyo kunye nokunyusa. Enyanisweni, olunye uhlobo lwabazali, ababizwa ngokuba yizikhululo, alukho ngcono. Oomama onjalo, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo abapapa, baya kuzama ukunika i-wink kumfana osemncinci, okanye ngokugqithiseleyo-ukumbambelela emagxeni ngokufanelekileyo phambi kokuba amahobe athandane nombhede. Kodwa nangona abazali bengabonakali ngale ndlela, ibinzana elibhekiswe kwindwendwe licacile emehlweni abo: "Siyazi ukuba uya kwenza ntoni ngentombi yethu!"
Ngokombono we-therapists, ukulinganisela kwemikhosi kunomphumo wokulibaleka kunoma yimuphi umntu oqhelekileyo, obangela ukungabi namandla okanye ukulungiswa kobuthathaka. Omnye umntu unokukwazi ukuhamba phambili ukungafuni ukungabikho komntu ngokubanzi, uyazi, okungekho kwifom. Kodwa abaninzi baqhubeka bethemba ukuphumelela kwiphumo, bangaxolisi ukuba yiyiphi intambo abayilungisayo. Imeko efana nayo ingenzeka kwakhona xa umntu omncinane ethatha intombazana kwindawo yokuhlala yabazali. Emva koko, isidima sakhe sobudlelwane kunye nabanikazi bendlu apha asinendima enkulu. Yonke into malunga nokuqonda indoda apho abantu emva kwodonga banomdla wokwenene kwixesha lakho lokuchitha ixesha. Yingakho nayiphi na isandi, esiqwengqileyo esivela emlonyeni wakho othandekayo okanye eshicilelwe yimithombo yombhede, iqhutyelwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwingqondo yomlingani. Kubonakala kuye ukuba konke oku kuvakala ngabanye abahlali. Kwaye ucinga ngakumbi ukuphendulwa kwendlu, ubuthakathaka umnqweno wakhe wesini.
Umsebenzi kunye nokunyamekela
Enye imbangela yokungasebenzi okanye ukulungiswa okubuthathakayo ngumthwalo weengxaki ezingaphendululwanga. Omnye ucinga ukuba baya kumtshisa. Kwaye kumntu, isizathu sokungabikho kwemibutho kungabikho kwindlela yokuhlawulwa kwemali-mboleko. Ngoko ke, emva kokungawuthandi uthando, nangona kukho kubonakala kungekho nto ebangela ukuba uxhalabe kumlingane, zama ukuyibiza ukuba ungabi nantoni. Inokwenzeka ukuba, uya kubelana nawe ngeengxaki zakhe, kuba ukusuka kulo naluphi umntu ohlala elula. Kwaye ukuba akafuni ukuvuma nantoni na, konke okufanayo, bhala phantsi yakhe ye-fiasco yanamhlanje ngeemeko eziphazamisayo ezibangelwa iingxaki ezahlukeneyo. Emva koko, ziya kufumaneka kuwo wonke umntu.
Kodwa nokuba yintoni na, ungagxininisi ekungcoleni komntu othandekayo-kungekho kuloo mzuzwana, okanye kamva. Musa ukwenza ihlaya, nangona emva kokuba i-fiasco yakhe ixesha elide lidlulile, kwaye unamaxesha angamawaka aqinisekisile ubukho bakhe buqhawe. Isiqu sakho kwisimo esinjalo sifanele sibe nethemba elipheleleyo le binzana elisuka kwi-cartoon eyaziwayo: "Siza kusinda esi sibi!"