Umtshato emva kobudlelane besikhathi esifutshane-ngaba kuya kuzisa uvuyo?

Bathi umtshato uyisigqibo esingeke sithathwe ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa uyazi njani ukuba umtshato uza kuzisa uvuyo? Kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuba kunye ukuze uthethe ngokuzithemba: Lo mtshato uza kuzisa uvuyo, kungekhona intlungu kunye nokudumala. Ngokuqhelekileyo, emva kobudlelwane obuye buphumelelanga, abantu abakakholelwa amaqabane abo kwaye balinde ixesha elide, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha oku kukhokelela ekuphumeni. Kodwa abanye, ngokuchaseneyo, banokukhawuleza kwaye badangele. Indlela yokwenza ngayo kwaye lixesha elingakanani elifunekayo lokuqonda umntu. Amanye amantombazana ayazibuza: umtshato emva kobudlelane besikhathi esifutshane-ngaba kuya kuzisa uvuyo?

Ukuze uphendule umbuzo, umtshato emva kobudlelwane besikhathi esifutshane-nokuba ngaba uvuyisa, kufuneka ukwazi ezininzi iinkcukacha ezichaphazela ubudlelwane.

Ukuqala, kubalulekile ukucacisa iminyaka yabantu abagqibileyo ukutshata emva kobudlelwane obufutshane. Ukuba ngaba ngabantu abatsha, okanye kunoko, abatsha, mhlawumbi banokuthi, umtshato onjalo awuyi kuzisa uvuyo. Inyaniso kukuba kwisebe elimncinci, mhlawumbi, sonke siphepha kwaye sibone kwi-pinki. Kubonakala ngathi uthando lokuqala luza kuzisa uvuyo kwaye akukho nto iphosakeleyo. Kodwa, enyanisweni, umphumo wobuhlobo obunjalo buphukile iintliziyo kunye nenzondo. Xa selutsha, umtshato ubonakala ngathi into enomlingo kwaye inkulu. Emva kwesiganeko esinjalo, kufuneka kube nolonwabo ngokupheleleyo kunye nokuqonda. Kakade ke, zonke iintombazana ziphupha zolonwabo nolonwabo. Kodwa, kwishumi elinesibhozo-elinesixhenxe asiqondanga ukuba umtshato uyimfanelo enkulu, ukunyaniseka rhoqo kunye nobomi bemihla ngemihla. Ukufuna ukungena kwi-story story, intombazana encinci ihamba ngokuqhelekileyo. Ewe, udidekile. Emva kwemitshato enjalo, abantu abaninzi abanakholelwa kwintlalontle yabo ixesha elide kwaye besoyika ubudlelwane obunzulu. Oku kukuncinci kwemitshato esemncinane emva kobudlelwane besikhathi esifutshane. Ewe, kukho ukungafani. Ngamanye amaxesha kukho izilumko kakhulu kwaye kungekhona iminyaka ukuqonda ubomi balo mbhangqwana. Bathandana kungekho ngendlela enjengomntwana, kodwa ngendlela endala, ukuqonda yonke imbopheleleko abayithatha yona. La madoda, nangemva kobudlelwane besikhathi esifutshane. bayazi kakuhle kwaye banokujamelana nokuqhelanisa kunye nokucaphukisa okuqhelekileyo kubakho ngonyaka wokuqala wobomi bentsapho.

Xa uneminyaka engamashumi amabini ukuya kwemashumi amathathu, abantu abasayi kuphinda batshata. Inyaniso kukuba nangona amantombazana eqhubeka ephupha, aphinde abone yonke into eluhlaza. Bafunda ukubala imali kwaye baqonde ukuba umtshato uyinto enqabileyo enokuyithengela kanye kuphela ebomini bakho. Ngoko ke, abantu abatsha ixesha elide bahlala kwimitshato yomtshato, bafunde kunye kunye nokugcina imali yomtshato. Imibuzo malunga nobudlelwane besikhathi esifutshane kunye nomtshato kule minyaka ayifumanekanga. Ulutsha luyicinga ukuba lo mngcipheko uyisilumko kwaye awufuni ukutshala imali into enokukhawuleza ukuwa.

Kodwa imitshato emva kobudlelwane obuhlala ixesha elifutshane nje, lidibana. Kwaye kwenzeke phakathi kwabantu abaneminyaka ehloniphekileyo. Kutheni benza njalo kwaye yintoni ebangela ukuba banqobe ololoyiko oluneeminyaka engamashumi amabini? Enyanisweni, ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abanjalo batshata okokuqala. Banobuhlungu obudlelwane bobudlelwane kwaye bafunde ukuqaphela ukunyaniseka kwi-glance. Ukuba, ngokusemncinci, sibona kuphela okulungileyo, kwaye ke siqala ukuphatha yonke into engathembekiyo, emva koko emva kwamashumi amathathu sele kukho ubomi bomi. Kulo nyaka, ibhinqa libona ngokukhawuleza ukuba umntu unyanisekileyo. Ukongeza, izinto eziphambili ziguqulwa. Ukubonakala kunye nesitayela kuvela kwimvelaphi. Ezibalulekileyo zifana neempawu ezifana nokunyaniseka, ukunyamezela, ukuqina. Emva kwabantu abangamashumi amathathu abangenza into ethile, sele benjenjalo. Ngoko ke, abafazi akudingeki ukuba bacinge ukuba uthembisa ntoni lo mntu okanye lowo mntu. Zonke iinjongo zalo ziboniswa kwingeniso, umsebenzi kunye nendlela yokuphila. Amantombazana abone ngokukhawuleza ukuba kulungile ukudibana nomntu onjalo okanye nokuba uya kuba ngumculi wamahhala onokuthi ubani omele afumane eyona nto yokuphila kwaye angondli yena kuphela kodwa naye.

Xa ubudala beminyaka buba ngaphezu kwemashumi mathathu, abasayi kuphinda benze iintshukumo zamatyala. Inokwenzeka ukuba, babe neendawo zokuba babe ebomini babo, kodwa abazange bazise uvuyo. Ngako oko, isitampu kwipasipoti yabantu abanjalo yinyaniso eqinisekisa ukuba bayathandana yaye bathandana, kwaye akukho nto.

Abantu abakwixesha elizeleyo batshata kwaye ngezizathu ezininzi. Ngokomzekelo, abantu abaselula bahlala behlola iimvakalelo zabo baze bacinge, kodwa ngaba lo luhlobo lwenene okanye lufanelekile ukubheka? Abo bangaphezu kwemashumi amathathu, musa ukufuna uthando. Bayafuna inkxaso kunye nokuqonda. Kwizibini ezinjalo, ungaziqhelanga ukubona ukukhathazeka kunye nemvakalelo. Ngokuphambene noko, amadoda nabafazi baxubana ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ngokuhlonipha. Oku akumangalisi, kuba amava obomi enza ukuba kube lula ukuphepha iingxabano ezininzi, ukufumana ukunyanzelisa kunye nokungenzi izikhalazo malunga nokuba ngaphandle kwesizathu. Ngoko ke, xa bedibane kwaye beqonda ukuba, ngokusemthethweni, bafanelekile omnye nomnye, abantu abanjalo abadonseli kunye nokubhaliswa komtshato. Ngamanye amaxesha bahlela imibhiyozo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bayasayina baze baqale ukuhlala kunye. Kule meko, inyaniso yeengubo ezimhlophe kunye nemithendeleko yomntu ayibalulekanga. Imitshato enjalo iphakathi kwezona ziqineleyo, njengoko abantu bengacinezeli iimfuno eziphezulu. Bayixabisa ngokwenene amathuba kwaye benze ngokukhawuleza emva kokuhlangana. Imitshato enjalo, nangemva kobudlelwane obude kakhulu ngaphambi komtshato, kuzisa uvuyo.

Enyanisweni, kukho uluhlu olulodwa lwabantu. Ngokwenene, ngaba ngaba besetyhini abakwazi ukutshata ixesha elide kwaye bayakhawuleza ukusemthethweni ubudlelwane nabo bonke abantu. Leyo, nayo, ayiyi kulinda ixesha elide, kwaye nawaphi na ithuba liya kutsala i-sucheno kwi-registrar. Kodwa, imitshato enjalo ayisoloko ivuya. Inyani kukuba ama-women, ngokuqhelekileyo, axhuma ngaphandle ukutshata nomntu wokuqala, engayiqondi ngokwenene into efana nayo. Ngenxa yoko, abafazi abanjalo bafumana umtshato ongenakuthathaka, ukusela okanye ukuhamba nabafana. Apha a mabhinqa bafanele bacebise naluphi na umzekelo ukuba bangathathi ukutshata, kuba esikhundleni senjabulo unokufumana iintlungu neentlungu.