Kukho izizathu ezimbalwa zokuba kutheni le nzekayo. Abantu banamhlanje bakholelwa ukuba umtshato "ngumsebenzi olandelayo" kwaye akukho mfuneko yokukhawuleza nale ngxaki. Abantu abatsha bathanda ukuhlala ndawonye ngaphandle komtshato ukuze baqinisekiswe ngokuchaneka kwesigqibo sabo nokukhetha. Kwaye emva kokuzalwa komntwana, ixesha elibalulekileyo liza xa abantu ababini beqala ukuqonda zonke izibophelelo eziwalele ngokubonakala komntu omncinci. Kulo mzuzu kwaye kukho uvavanyo lwangempela lweemvakalelo. Kwaye, njengomthetho, uthando phakathi kwabazali abancinci luya kuvela kwimvelaphi kunye nokugqithisa okubonakalayo komdla. Xa kuvela ilungu elitsha le selula yoluntu, kukho ukukhathazeka kunye neengxaki ezithile, ezichaphazela ubudlelwane phakathi kwabathandi.
Uthando kunye nokuzalwa kwangaphandle komntwana akuvumelekanga. Urhulumente awunyanzelisi abantu abatsha ukuba batshata ukudala intsapho. Umntwana osandul 'ukuzalwa akakhathaleli ukuba ngaba kubhaliswa kwipaspoti evela kubazali bakhe. Kubalulekile ukuba le ncinane ijikelezwe ngabantu abathandekayo, unqwenela kwaye uyathandwa, akayidingi nto. Ngokuvumelana ngokuvisisana ngabazali abatsha abasenzayo baqokelela amaxwebhu okuqala omntwana. Kwakhona iziganeko ezinjengeenkcukacha kunye neefomonyic ziphinda zigqitywe ngokuvumelana phakathi kwabazali.
Kwamanye amazwe, abantu bathanda ubudlelwane obuvulekile, kwaye abawwamkeli isifaniselo esifanayo nonke. Okanye banamagama amaninzi, ngokubanzi, ixesha kunye nefashoni zibeka iimpawu zabo kwimibono nakubomi bentsapho. Ngokombono wam, into ephambili kukuba amalungelo omntwana akufanele aphulwe. Naliphi na isigqibo abazali abazange basithatha, kufuneka ukuba kuthathelwe ingqalelo kwaye kulungile kumntwana.
Sinoxanduva lwabantwana bethu nekamva labo, ngoko ke, ukunakekelwa okuphezulu kwendlela yokuziphatha nokuziphatha ngokomoya kusinika ithuba lokukhulisa isizukulwana esifanelekileyo. Yaye uthando lwabazali kunye nolwalamano oluhle kwintsapho lunikezela "iziphumo ezilungileyo." Emva kwakho konke, abantwana bathanda isiponji, baqonda umoya ojikelezayo, banamathele konke okwenzekayo, kwaye banikele ngokungenanto. Ngenxa yoko, umntwana kufuneka athathe ixabiso elihle kubazali kunye noonwabo kunye novelwano olufudumele nolushushu phakathi kwabazali.
Emva kokuzalwa komntwana ngaphandle komtshato, "ukuzalwa" koluthando olutsha-uthando lomntwana. Kwaye, ngoko ke, ukuphinda ucamngce ngobomi kunye nobudlelwane phakathi kwabazali abancinci kufanele kwenzeke.
Njengomthetho, ukuzalwa komntwana kuyisenzo ngokuzikhethela nangenjongo. Isiphumo sayo, ngokuqhelekileyo, sisigqibo somtshato. Nangona, ukufumana isihloko esithi "mama" no "ubawo" akusoloko kubalulekile. Ukudibanisa ubudlelwane kunye nesitywina seofisi yeRejista, abatsha bafumana isimo seburhulumenteni. Kodwa ukuzalwa komntwana odibeneyo ngowona "uphawu" oluqinileyo kwihlabathi. Kwaye, njengokuba kunjalo, akazange asebenze, ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali bakhe, isimo sabo "somzali" abayi kulahleka. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ndingathanda ukuthanda bonke abatshatileyo abashadile okanye bahlala ndawonye ngaphambi kokuba bacinge ngokuzalwa komntwana ukuba bacinge ngokucokisekileyo kwaye bavavanye ukulungela kwabo isinyathelo esinzulu. Futhi musa ukulibala ukuba xa sivelisa inzala, sithwale uxanduva ngokupheleleyo.