Ngokwabo, amadoda awakuthandi ukuthetha ngothando kwaye awazi ukuba njani, ngoko akumangalisi ukuba enye yeyona mibuzo ivela rhoqo kumfazi ibonakala ngathi: "Uyandithanda?"
Ukwahlukana kokukhululeka kwendoda kunye nomfazi ukuvakalisa ukuvakaliswa kothando akufaki nje kuphela kwintlalo, kodwa nangokwenyama. Kwindoda, ngokusemgangathweni, isidingo sokuthetha sichazwe kakuhle. Phakathi kwabo, kungekhona abantu abaninzi abanolwazi, njengabasetyhini. Kwaye nangona abafazi baguqulela ngokucacileyo iingcamango nemifanekiso ngamazwi, bancinci phakathi kwabalobi kunye nabanyongozi kuphela kuba kubhaliweyo ukubhala kwabasetyhini akukhuthaziwe. Ukubandakanya ezintathu "K" - ikhitshi, ububele kunye nombhede - lona wesifazane wazama ukungahambi kwimbono yoluntu kwaye ukuba wabhala, ngoko wabhala etafileni. Kukho iimeko ezininzi kwimbali yeencwadi xa umbhalo wesandla sombhali omkhulu okanye umfundi we-rule wenziwa ngqondweni wakhe ngumfazi wakhe, unobhala okanye umninindlu.
Ubuchopho besilisa buyilwe ngenjongo yokuba udibaniso phakathi kwe-hemispheres lubuthathaka kunabesifazane. Ukudluliselwa ngumqondiso phakathi kwe-hemispheres kukho "i-jumper" ekhethekileyo phakathi kwabo, ebizwa ngokuba yi-corpus callosum. Kula mabhinqa eli jumper likhulu kakhulu, luneendlela ezininzi ezinokukhathazeka. Yingakho umfazi angakwazi ukuhlala echukumisa malunga noko akubonayo nokuziva. Kunzima kumntu ukwenza oku. Kuye, imeko ephuma kwinqanaba elithi "Ndivakalelwa into ethile, kodwa indlela yokuthetha okanye ukuyiveza ngamagama, andiyazi" - iyafana. Ngoko, ukuthetha ngothando luyinkimbinkimbi kwaye buhle, ininzi yabo ayayazi ukuba ngenxa yokunciphisa umzimba kumsebenzi wengqondo.
Amandla okuthetha omntu ngokuqhelekileyo kuxhomekeke kwindlela yokulawula i-hemispheres ye-cerebral. Abafazi bahlala bephethe i-hemisphere ekhohlo, enoxanduva lokuthetha. Amadoda afumaneke kakuhle kummandla, aqonda imathematika kunye ne-physics, angakwazi ukwakha imizekelo eyakhiweyo yendawo yokwakha engqondweni yabo. Konke oku kungenxa yokulawulwa kwefa elifanelekileyo. Kulinganiselwa ukuba ibhinqa ifuna ukuvakalisa amagama angama-7 000 ngosuku. Kwindoda, umxholo wemihla ngemihla ngamazwi ka-2000. Ukuba kufuneka bakhulume ngakumbi, bayaxinzezeleka kwaye bathuke. Abasetyhini, ngokuchaseneyo, baba neentloni kwaye bacasulwe ukuba imfuno yabo yokuthetha ayitholakali. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iingcali zengqondo zincoma ukuba abafazi abamkhathazi umyeni wakhe ngeze, kwaye bachitha iimbini zeemfuno ezingenakwenzeka xa bexoxa nabasetyhini. Kule mihla, iiblogi ezahlukeneyo kunye noluntu nazo zifaka isandla kulo.
Ngoko konke okufanayo, yintoni enokuyenza ukuze avume uthando lwakhe? Okokuqala, ube nomonde. Ukuba umhlobo wakho akayena uCicero ngokwezakhono zobugcisa, mnike ithuba lokuchaza iimvakalelo ngamazwi awafumanayo kwimeko nganye. Okwesibini, ukuba utshisa ngokungapheliyo, linda umzuzwana xa ubulili obuhle kakhulu buza kwenzeka ngobudlelwane bakho. Kubantu, iingingqi zengqondo ezijongene nothando azifumaneki nhlobo. Ngoko xa athi "Ndiyayithanda", ngeli xesha kusebenze indawo yengqondo ejongene nesondo. Abasetyhini baneendawo ezimbini ezahlukeneyo zobuchopho kulokhu, kwaye ukuxhamla ngokuchanekileyo kwe-neural kuboniswe phakathi kwabo. Kwaye ukuvavanya kwintsimi yophando lobuchopho kubonise ukuba abaninzi abafazi banommandla wengqondo ojongene nomnqweno wesini, awusebenziswanga ukuze usebenze ummandla wothando. Ibhinqa kuqala liwela ngothando, kwaye liqala ngokufuna umntu. Indoda inokuhlala iminyaka ihlala kunye nomfazi olala naye, kwaye akahlala efuna ukuziva unothando. Yaye ukuba uyambeka uxinzelelo kwaye umbuze imihla ngemihla ukuba uyakuthanda, uya kuthetha ukuba uthandana ngothando ngexesha le-exploto tesone. Oko kukuthi, eli lixesha elifutshane eliphakathi kwexesha xa eqala ukukufuna, kunye nomzuzwana xa lo mnqweno usuvele ubangele ukulungiswa.
Kubonakala ukuba kukho impendulo enye kumbuzo wento enokuyenza ukuze amvumele ukuba amthande, kodwa kunokuba anengcamango kumbono wowesifazane. Udinga ukudukisa umntu, umfudumise aze afike kwindawo apho ephantse ekulungele ukulala naye, aze amvuselele ukuba avume ngothando. Lo mbono wembono yendoda yothando uyakwazi ngokupheleleyo ukusebenzisa abesifazana i-dinamschitsy. Ngokuqinisekileyo udibene ebomini bakho ubuncinane ubuncinane bhinqa obonisa ukungafuni ukunyaniseka kwisifiso esinqwenelekayo sesondo, udibana naye, u-flirts. Yaye njengoko ifika kwinqanaba, ibuyela kumzila. Kodwa indoda ilungele ukunyuka ekudumiseni, ukuvuma kunye nezipho kwintombazana enjalo, kungaboni ukuba wonke umntu ojikelezileyo uthathwa njengengqumbo yakhe evamile.
Ngoko ke kwenzeka ntoni ukuba amadoda afune ukuvuma uthando? Ewe, konke oku akunjalo. Iingxaki ezichazwe ngasentla zibonisa ukuba kutheni kunzima kubo kunabesifazane ukuba bathethe ngeemvakalelo zabo. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba abazithethi ngabo. Umfazi nje akafanele akhathazeke xa engamfumani ukuba avume uthando lwakhe. Kufuneka ugxininise kwi-intuition yakho yeentombi, kwaye ukuba uthe utsho ukuba uyakuthanda, akunandaba nokuba uthetha ngamagama.