Enyanisweni, kwiminyaka emihlanu no-7, bahlukana noomama ngokutshintshela "kwindoda engumnqweno", ngaphezu koko, emva kokuqhawula umtshato abanalo ukuxinezeleka okukhulu okanye ukungabikho nto, abayikhumbulanga ubomi bentsapho obonwabileyo, abazive benetyala kwaye abayiki elizayo. Ngokwezibalo zeengqondo zengqondo, ama-65% wamadoda atshatile kwiminyaka emihlanu emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kodwa qwa lasele umtshato wokuqala, u-15% uyatshata phakathi kweminyaka emihlanu ukuya kweyishumi, kwaye i-20% ithole isibini esisigxina okanye idale intsapho entsha emva kweminyaka engama-20 okanye ngaphezulu, kwaye maxa wambi bahlala bodwa.
Nangona kunjalo, kwiminyaka elishumi edlulileyo, izazi zeengqondo, i-psychotherapists kunye neentlobano zesini zibeka ingqwalaselo esondeleyo kwinto eyenziwa ngabantu emva komtshato. Isizathu kukuba malunga nama-30% wamadoda abe ngabaxhasi babo, ngelixa iqingatha zamatyala ahokelwa kubo ngabafazi basendulo. Amadoda amaninzi ahlukanisile adibeneyo kwaye adidekile, asebenzise kakubi utywala okanye atya kakhulu, abanomdla omncinci kumsebenzi kunye nangokwezesondo, ukuxilongwa kwangaphambili kunye nezinye izifo zesini. Ukuphuhliswa kwezi zi-syndromes ezivela kwiminyaka emine nesiqingatha emva kokuqhawula umtshato (okanye "inyanga yeshumi elinesixhenxe") ichazwa ngokudumala. Inyaniso yokuba indoda emva komtshato ithetha ukuba "ngaphandle" uya kudibana nomfazi ococekileyo, omhle, onobubele, onobubele, onakekelayo nabancinci. Nangona kunjalo, iholide ayinakwenzeka - kaninzi uhlangana nokugxeka, ukunakekelwa okwaneleyo kunye nokunyaniseka kwezesondo zamantombazana. Ngenxa yoko, uyavavanya ngokunyanisekileyo abafazi, kodwa oku kubangela ukuxinezeleka.
Ngendlela entsha, uvavanya ubomi bentsapho yangaphambili, ekhumbula ixesha elihle kakhulu. Ngelo xesha, amadoda amaninzi afuna ukubuyela kwintsapho, kodwa imithetho engqongqo yoluntu uluntu luyakuthintela. Ngeli xesha, bayaqonda ukuba akusiyo wonke umntu owanikwa yodwa ukuba ahlale yedwa. Abaninzi babo banxunguphelelwe yiminqweno enobungozi, encedwa ebomini bentsapho ngabafazi: umnqweno wokusela okanye ukutya ngaphezulu, ukuzonwabisa kunye nokulala ngesondo. Kwi "intando" akukho mntu uyayinqanda oku, kodwa uxanduva lentsapho lunikezela uxanduva lwakho. Akukho namnye owamxhasa ngexesha elincinci, akamcebise nto kwaye akamthandi. Kwaye ngexesha lobudlelwane bezesondo rhoqo kunye namaqabane okanye abaqhelana nabo amandla amaninzi angokwengqondo kunye nemvelo asetyenziswa. Emva kwayo yonke into, ngokungafani nomfazi wakhe, emzimbeni lowo umntu sele ulungele ulungelelanise, iqabane elitsha lifuna ixesha elide, i-sex and longer.
Yaye ukulungelelanisa kuyo, udinga ubuncinane ubuncinane kwiintlanganiso ezintlanu ukuya kwezi sixhenxe, kufuneka uqhubeke nokuthetha naye, ngamanye amaxesha uye naye ekhaya, uqaphele kakuhle imeko yakhe. Ngoko ke, i-psychotherapists efumanisa into eyenziwa ngumntu emva kokuqhawula umtshato, cebisa abafazi baqala ukuba bangaziphelelwa yithemba, kwaye bangacingi ukuba isigqibo somyeni siqinisekile kwaye singenakuguquka. Ngokuqinisekileyo, musa ukwenza ama-scandals, ugijime emva kwakhe uze ucele ukubuyela. Kungcono ukugcina ubudlelwane obusenyongweni ngokugcina umnyango uvule ade umntu avuthwe ukuba aqhubeke nolwalamano. Ngokwezibalo kwiidolophu ezinkulu zaseRashiya, indoda yesithathu ingathanda ukubuyela kumfazi wayo wangaphambili, kwaye indoda yonke yesine ibuyele kuye. Umthandi womntu oqhawule umtshato naye kufuneka abe nomonde kwaye angamangalisi ukuba yena, nangona eziva ulungile naye, unqumle kwiintlanganiso ezimbini okanye ezintathu ngeveki, ngaphandle kokukhawuleza ukuqala intsapho.
Kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba wamshiya umfazi wakhe ukuze akhiwe ubomi obunye kunye nomnye. Ufuna inkululeko, kubandakanywa ngesondo, ngoko ungamgijimi, ukuze ungaphuli ubuhlobo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ibhinqa akufanele iphosakele ngokuthi indoda emva kweminyaka emihlanu okanye yesixhenxe okanye elishumi yomtshato ophumelelayo icinga kuphela ngomfazi omtsha ofanelekileyo. Ngokuchasene noko, emva kokuqhawula umtshato, uya kukwazi ukuvumelanisa "nobomi obude obude". Ngoko ke, a mabhinqa akufanele achithe ubomi bawo bonke elinde, aphephe abanye abaqeqeshi.
Umntu oqhawule ngokuqhelekileyo udibana neminyaka emibini okanye emibini kunye namabhinqa amaninzi. Kodwa kwindoda ebenomdla, umntu makayifumene kwaye amkele. Iingcali ze-Psychotherapists zibiza izikhundla ezimbini ezichasene nabasetyhini ekusebenzelaneni namadoda emva kokuqhawula umtshato: ngakwesinye icala - i-hyperopeak kunye nenkonzo yasekhaya kunye neyokugcoba, ngokukhawulelana nokulungelelanisa; kwelinye - ukungakhathaleli kunye nokuhlehliswa kokunyamekela ngokugqithiseleyo kulwalamano olunzulu. Ezi zimbini zikhethi ziyize. Njengowesifazane othanda ukuthanda, kufuneka uzibonakalise kakuhle kwizinto zobomi bemihla ngemihla, kunye nocansi, kodwa ungayithandi.