Ngelishwa, inyaniso ihlala ihluke kakhulu kwiimbono zabo ezizimeleyo kwaye zivela phi iingxaki ezivele zivela kwiindwendwe ezimenyiwe zingena endlwini yazo. Kungekudala kungekho mfihlo kunoma ubani ukuba ebomini bomntu kukho ukuguquka kweengongoma, ngamanye amaxesha kuthiwa ingxaki yomntu, xa kubalulekile ukuba uphinde ucinge ngokudlulileyo, ukwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo kunye nokulwa ngaphakathi ngaphakathi. Ubuhlungu obudala bendoda bubonakaliswa ngokugqithiseleyo kunabasetyhini kwaye bunzima kunzima kwaye, ke makhe sijonge ngeenkcukacha ezithile.
Inkathazo yokuqala enxulumene nobudala emadodeni ibanjwe kwiminyaka eyi-14 ukuya kwe-16 , xa abantwana abaselula bevela ngaphakathi kwiimfuno zokubonisa ubungqina kubo bonke abakuzungezile, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu kubo, ukuba akayonto encinane kwaye unokuyenza yonke into ngaphandle kokunyamekela kunye noluntu lwabantu abadala. Kwaye into eninzi abazali abayibona njengobuncwane kunye nokunyaniseka kwinjongo nje ngokuzifunela kunye nokuqinisekiswa kwendalo.
Inkathazo yesibini ibonakala kwiminyaka engama-21-23 . Umfana sele sele efuna ukuzibonakalisa ukuba ungumntu omdala kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi. Uqala ukwenza izicwangciso zobomi bakhe bonke besikhathi esizayo: uqale-udumo, ngeendlela zonke zokuba ngumntu wokuqala, umoto, imali, umfazi omhle, abantwana abathandekayo abaya kumncedisa. Yonke into, njengomthetho, inhle, i-grandiose kwaye, hayi, ngokuqinisekileyo ayinakwenzeka. Ngokuqhelekileyo kule minyaka abafana bangene ngayo ubudlelwane bomtshato. Kwaye kukuba ngenxa yokuba isenzo esinjalo sinyuka sengathi ziindawo ezininzi kwiindawo zazo eziphambili.
Ngeminyaka engama-28 ukuya ku-30 , uyaqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba onke amaphupha akhe aselula ayingqungquthela, kunye nelo elibukhali elithintela intsingiselo yobomi, inyaniso ekhohlakeleyo ebizwa ngokuba "akaze" ihlaba ingqondo yomntu. Akayi kuze kube yinto yokuqala kuphela, akayi kufezekisa into awayeyifinyelela kuyo nokuba yintoni ayeyifunayo, akakaze ... akuzange ... Kunzima kwaye bubuhlungu kungekhona nje ukuqonda oku, kodwa nokwamkela. Kufuneka ukwamkele ukuba ufana nomntu oqhelekileyo njengomntu wonke, ukuba umsebenzi wakho awufani nakwezinye izinto, kulula, kwaye awuyi kuzisa ukwaneliseka okwenqwenelekayo, intsapho ayiyolonwabo, yintsapho yolonwabo , kodwa nje ubomi, kukho ukusilela kwinto into, ukuhlambalaza nokungaxhamli ... sele sele unelisekile ukuzama ukuseka into ebomini, nokuba ufumane ubudlelwane kunye neengxoxo ezivulekile nomfazi anganikeli iziphumo ezifunwayo. Xa umntu enenkathazo, uyaqonda ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuqhubeka nokuphila okunje, ngaphandle kokutshintshwa, kwaye uqala ukufuna uthando kwicala, ukwenzela ukuba ngandlela-thile ubumnandi kunye nokudumala kwintsapho kunye nayo yonke into edibene nayo. Ngenxa yoko umtshato wokuqhawula kunye nokunyanzeliswa okungapheliyo. Amadoda amaninzi, obunzima bawo obuqala ukukhangela uvuyo ekudakwa.
Ingxaki enjalo iphela, kuphela xa umntu eqala ukuqonda ngokwaneleyo aze athathe ubomi bakhe ngokugcwele ngendlela enokwenene. Ekusebenzeni, uqala ukubeka iinjongo ezifikelelekayo, ulwalamano lwembewu luya kumgangatho oqhelekileyo wokubambisana kunye nokuhlalisana. Abantu abaselula bafumana umgama phakathi kwabo, ofanelana nomntu wonke, wonke umntu uhlala ebomini bakhe kwaye uzama ukuphazamisa ebomini bomnye. Kwaye into engathandekiyo kukuba oku kuqondwa, ngelishwa, kuqhelekileyo.
Kubonakala ngathi konke kulungile. Sekunjalo umfazi uyabubula ngokukhululeka, nangona apha kuza uvavanyo olulukhuni nolunzima - le yintlupheko kwindoda eneminyaka ephakathi . Ngokuqhelekileyo, iminyaka engama-37-38 kuba amadoda amaninzi lixesha elifanayo xa beqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba, ngokungaqhelekanga, banokufa. Hayi, ngokuqinisekileyo, yonke into yayiqondwa ngaphambili, kodwa kuphela ngengqondo, ngaphandle kokuthatha loo nkcazelo ngentliziyo. Kwaye apha ngokukhawuleza iimpawu zokuqala nezokungaqiniseki ziqala ukubonakala ukuba kuya kufike emva kwakho. Impilo sele isinika ukuhluleka okukhulu, imiphunga, isibindi, imithwalo yegazi, isisu, intliziyo ... Indoda iyaqaphela ngokukhawuleza ukuba, ngelishwa, igugile. Ngaba ubomi bam buphela? Kwaye akukho nto ibuyiselwa emuva ... Kwaye ke yintoni injongo yokukwenza into xa yonke into iphela? Ukufa akuphepheki ... "
Indoda ngexesha leengxaki liqala ukuxhalabisa kwaye "ukukhwaza". Unako ukuya kwimidlalo ngentloko, ukuze abuyisele impilo, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo, ngamanye amaxesha akayikuzilawula, ngelixa ezenza izinto ezimbi. Imisebenzi kunye nemali kuye ayinakunciphisa, kwaye akafuni ukuya kumsebenzi ohlawulelwayo kwaye ohloniphekileyo, kodwa enye ingamzisa ubuncinane. Kwaye abanye abantu bayeka ukuyeka umsebenzi ngexesha leengxaki. Uninzi lwabawo, ngenzondelelo ekhethekileyo, baqala ukufikelela kubantwana babo, kodwa baqhube "beyinkimbinkimbi" abatsha abanombono ohluke ngokupheleleyo wobomi. Ngxhala, uqala ukudonsa kumfazi wakhe, kodwa yena umthandi wakhe akakwazi ukufumana ingqiqo ayifunayo. Ukususela kule minyaka, bobabini baqala ukutshintsha kweemodem. Abasetyhini banesigaba se-estrogen esezantsi, kunye namadoda, ngokulandelanayo, i-testosterone, eyenza amadoda abe nemvakalelo, kunye nabasetyhini ngokuthe ngqo. Amadoda anokukhawuleza abe neinyembezi, ngamanye amaxesha unokufuna ukunyathela umfazi wakhe ekufuneni ukuqonda kunye novelwano, kwaye umfazi okwangoku sele esaziqhelanise ukunyaniseka nokunyamekela ... Ucinga ukuba akukho mntu uyamqonda, ukungabi nantoni, ubumnandi kunye nokungaqondi - konke Oku kwakhona kukhokelela ekukhohliseni nasekudakwa.
Ukhohlakele lwangaphambili kule minyaka luphawuleka kukuba, njengommiselo, umntu ulala namantombazana amancinci, ukuze azibonakalise ngokwakhe ukuba unako ukwenza okuthile kunye nokuqala ukuyibhala. Ngelishwa, umfazi akayiqondi umyeni wakhe, ngoko ngokuqhelekileyo kukho ukwahlukana kweso shintsho. Ucinga ukuba uthembekileyo wakhe uye wahamba. Enyanisweni, indoda iyayidinga ukuncedwa nokuncediswa kwayo, kwaye ngokubuyisela ivalelwa kuphela ukugwetywa kunye nokugxeka. Ngomzuzu omnye umntu osondeleyo kunye nomthandanayo ngokukhawuleza uba yintshaba enkulu. Ngako oko, kwakhona kufikelelekayo kwaye kunzima kubo bobabini bomtshato wokuqhawula umtshato.