Ngaba uye waphawula ukuba abantwana bayakholisa abazali kunye nabanye kuphela abo banokuyithandayo, bayamhlonela, bethinteke ngumntwana wabo? Akunjalo ngenxa yokubonakalisa (kwiinkxalabo ezinjalo, abazali bayakhula bexakekile kwaye banganeliseki okanye bangacatshulwayo), oko kukuthi, ngokwenene: ukumakisha nokubeka imihla yonke ukukhula nokuphuhliswa kwintsuku, impumelelo kunye nezakhono ezintsha, kunye nokutshintshisa okubonakalayo kwintetho ebusweni, isenzo, isenzo. Musa nje ukuphawula utshintsho kwangexesha elide, kodwa uzibonge. Yiloo nto esinokuyithetha ngokuqinisekileyo: abantwana abonwabileyo ngabazali abonwabileyo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo ndifumanisa ukuba abantu abaninzi abaqondi okanye baqonde ngokupheleleyo intsingiselo yelizwi elithi "bayamhlonela". Kuye ukusuka kumagama esichazamazwi achaza le nkqubo sele ipholile. Ngaphambili, la magama asetyenziswe ngokubanzi kwaye ngenjongo: "Uthando lwam," "intanda yam," ezi kunye nezinye izinto ezifanayo zazisetyenziselwa ukuba zibhenele kubathandekayo okanye kubantwana. Kodwa isenzi ukuthanda, isenzi esisebenzayo kwaye sibonisa isenzo sokumnxusa.
Ukuze sikwenze kucace, oko sikuthethayo, qwalasela umzekelo ngembala yendawo.
Abaninzi banemizi, kodwa zonke iintyatyambo azikholisi iso. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Ukuba ubona indlela imikhosi ephathwa ngayo iintyatyambo, iya kucaca. Izilwanyana, ezikhunjulwa kuphela xa kubalulekile ukuba zimanzi ngamaxesha ngamaxesha, kwiintyatyambo zabanini banokuthi zibe ziluhlaza, kwaye zibi kakhulu. Yaye jonga abo bahlala bewuncoma imfuyo yabo nganye, baqaphele kwaye ujabulele iqela ngalinye elitsha, ihluma nganye. Ngomnene kwaye uthinte ngenyameko amaqabunga kunye neepalali, zityumzele, uxoxe nabo. Iintyatyambo ezivela kubanini banjalo ziqhakaza: abanikazi beenkanuko abanemimoya eninzi, imivini ende, iintyatyambo ezimangalisayo, ekwakheni egumbini elimnandi, i-oasis ekhangayo. Zonke izityalo zivakalelwa isimo sengqondo ngokwazo, oku kuye kwabonakaliswa kwangaphambili ngabafundi bezesayensi. Iintyatyambo, ziziva zivuyo malunga nabo, zizama ukukholisa abo bavuya. Kwaye abo bangenwabileyo, abazi ukuba bayakhula okanye babune.
Masibuyele kwisihloko sethu sothando nothando lwabantwana.
Ngaba udibene nabamemezayo, abavulekileyo, abavuyokileyo nabantwana abonwabileyo? Ngokuqinisekileyo kwakufuneka. Nanikele ingqalelo kubazali babantwana abanjalo, njengoko bayamhlonela kwaye bachukumiswa ngumntwana wabo. Ngaba unomdla okwenene kunye nokunyamekela kwangempela, uzama ukuphendula yonke imibuzo, uxoxe nomntwana ngokukodwa, njengokulinganayo. Ngovuyo olukhulu udala, usebenza naye, ngokuzonwabisa ngokudlala imidlalo ehambahambayo, ngokuqhelekileyo uthanda ukuba nomntwana wakhe, umbone, umlinde. Akumangalisi ukuba umntwana onjalo ngabazali uthuthuka. Kodwa ngaba kungenjalo, kuba unyana okanye intombi ivakalelwa kukuba bayathanda abazali, ukuba bayavuya ukuba uyayidinga?
Ngoku siye senza ingqalelo entloni, efihlakeleyo, ekhuphayo, abantwana abacasulayo. Kwaye, kubaluleke kakhulu, jonga indlela umzali womntwana onjalo ebheka ngayo indalo yakhe. Inokwenzeka ukuba, akamjonga. Abazali bahlala bexakekile, bekhathele, bekhathazekile, bacaphukile. Abazali baneenkxalabo zabo, azinako umntwana. Ngaphezu koko, lo mntwana uhlala ephazamisa, ephazamisa, amathayi. Abanye abazali bakholelwa ukuba ukutya, ukunisela, ukugqoka okwaneleyo. Indlela yokuzonwabisa ngobomi ngokubanzi, laba bazali bayalilibala, kodwa ukuvuya kumntwana ... Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ujabule ngomntu ohlala ecula, ephazamisa, ephula yonke into aze alahle yonke into?
Yintoni enokuyenza nentombi (unyana), ukuba unamahloni, unyanzelekile, unomsindo? Kubalulekile ukuchaza ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba ukuthanda isenzi esisebenzayo. Kuthetha ukuba into enothando isoloko ivuyiswa kukuba bayamthanda. Kwaye okubaluleke kakhulu into enothando kufuneka ive ngayo, yazi ukuba bayamthanda, bayavuya kuba bayamkela njengoko kunjalo.
Ngaphandle koluthando, abantwana bakhula ukhula, babe neentloni, bacaphuke, bangakhuselekanga. Emva koko, abavakalelwa kukuba bafuneka kwaye bathandwa. Kubonakala ngathi aba bantwana, ngokulandelanayo: ihlabathi libukeka libuhlungu, lijikeleze (umva liba livili), bafihla kweli hlabathi. Ngokungafaniyo, abahlali bayonwabile, bayaphazamisa.
Ukuba umntwana wakho unamahloni, ngokusoloko esaba kakhulu okanye ecatshukiswayo, okanye akwazi ukulawuleka, ngoko kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuthanda umntwana wakho. Thatha umgaqo imihla ngemihla ukufumana izizathu ezi-3-5 zokuvuyela umntwana wakho, ukumthanda, ukumphulaphula nokuthatha ingqalelo ngokungathandabuzekiyo kunye nokuqonda kwiminqweno yakhe.
Awukwazi ukuwahlula umntwana, ukudala izizathu eziye okanye ukhathele. Nangona, ngokwenene awukwazi ngoku ukuphulaphula umntwana, cacisa ukuba kutheni kwaye emva koko, kuthathe ixesha.
Uza kucacisa ngakumbi malunga noko ndiyithethayo xa unomdla wokuzithandayo. Khumbula indlela othanda ngayo ukwenza le shishini, lungiselela lo msebenzi, silindele inkqubo kwaye ucwangcise iziphumo, kwaye ungathini ukuthetha ngokuzonwabisa kwakho. Yileyo ndlela uhlobo olusebenzayo lothando lubonakalisa ngayo. Izinto ezithandwayo kunye nezinto zokuzilibazisa zisinika uvuyo novuyo.
Okokuvelisa abantwana abonwabileyo nabonwabileyo, kufuneka ufunde ukuzithokozisa kwaye ukhutshwe ngokukhuliselwa, ukudala umntwana ngokuzonwabisa, ngoko inkqubo yemfundo iya kuzisa uvuyo kunye neneliseko kunye nokwaneliseka kwisiphumo.
Vumela ubomi bakho buzaliswe ngamaxesha amaninzi obonwabileyo nolonwabo ...