Umntwana unokuchaza njani ukuba abantwana bazalwa njani?

Ibinzana: "Ndixelele ngento, umama" unokuhlazisa nayiphi na umzali, ngakumbi xa kuthethwa ngumntwana oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala. Kwaye xa uzama ukumxelela "ibali" malunga neklabishi kunye nesorkork - umntwana angakuhleka. Nanamhlanje abantwana abasenkulaneni bayazi ukuba yintoni "iklabishi" yabantwana abavela kuyo, kwaye abahlanu abagciniweyo bafumana ulwazi ngokubanzi kule ngxaki.

Uninzi lwabazali banqwenela ukuba abantwana bafumane ulwazi malunga nesondo kubo, kwaye kungekhona emithonjeni engaqondakaliyo okanye kumaphephancwadi angabonakaliyo, kwaye ngakumbi, kungekhona kwintsapho yabo. Kodwa abantu ababaziyo ukuba baqale njani, indlela umntwana angachazela ngayo ukuba abantwana bazalwa njani, kwaye yiyiphi iminyaka efanelekile kwimfundo yesondo yomntwana. Uninzi lwabazali ngokwabo lwakhuliswa ngokuhlukana ngokupheleleyo kule ngongoma, nayiphi na imizamo yokufunda nantoni na apha kule ndlela.

Abanye abantu abadala bakholelwa ukuba ngokuthetha nomntwana ngale ngongoma, baya kubangela umdla omkhulu kunye nomnqweno malunga nemiba esondeleyo. Nangona kunjalo, lo uluvo olungalunganga. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umdla onomdla ubangelwa yinto efihlekileyo phantsi kwesihenqo sefihlekile. Isiqhamo esivumelekileyo sihlala sisithandeka.

Abo bacinga ukuba umntwana oneminyaka ezisixhenxe akanalwazi ngento yesondo ephosakeleyo. Mhlawumbi unako, kodwa kungekhona into ayifunayo ukuba yayazi, kwaye ebaluleke kakhulu, ukuba unento engalunganga malunga noko awaziyo.

Kubalulekile ukunqoba ubandlululo "ngesihloko esinqatshelwe", kunye nokudala indawo ethembekileyo nomntwana, ukuthetha ngokucacileyo ngezihloko zesondo. Kule meko, umntwana wakho uya kuxela ngokuzithemba malunga noko akufundile kwintsapho yakhe ngesihloko sesini.

Ingongoma ebalulekileyo kukuba ngexesha lokungavumelani neengcamango ezingalunganga, kwaye ngaloo ndlela ukhuse umntwana kwimpazamo enokwenzeka kunye nokudumala. Yaye nabazali baya kuzisindisa entlungu.

Shiya imizamo yakho yokukhusela umntwana "ulwazi olungadingekile" malunga nesondo. Kukho nawuphi na, imizamo yakho ayiyi kubakhokelela kwisiphumo esifunileyo. Iimifanekiso ezivela kwifilimu ekhulayo, ekhoyo ngoku kumabonwakude nanini na, imifanekiso esuka kumaphephandaba nakumaphephancwadi (okunokwenzeka ukuba, kwindlu yakho, nayo, ikhona), iincwadi ezizodwa, ukuba akukho ekhaya lakho, ziya kufumaneka kubamelwane, apho umntwana unyaka omnye - konke oku kuqinisekileyo ukubamba amehlo omntwana wakho.

Inyaniso yokuba uyigubungela amehlo omntwana ngexesha lesimo sokukhwabanisa kwifilimu okanye umenze avele egumbini, yomeleza ukwazi kwakhe kuphela. Kwaye nasiphi na ithuba, xa ungekho ekhaya, uya kuguqula i-TV, ubukele ifilimu okanye ufunde amanqaku kwimpapasho ye-erotic. Akunakwenzeka ukuba intsingiselo yomntwana iya kucaciswa, kodwa iya kuba nefuthe malunga nayo.

Kwaye ukuze umntwana abe nombono ochanekileyo ngesihloko sesini, kufuneka anike ulwazi olunjalo, aze aqondise ukuqonda kwakhe ngendlela efanelekileyo. Kwaye ke, uya kuphepha ukubonakala kwenzalo enyukayo kwimicimbi yesondo kumntwana wakho. Kwiimeko apho umntwana eva into ethile kwiontanga, kwaye awuzange uyichazele yona, kufuneka ahlale ecela uncedo kunye nenkcazelo. Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba unikezele ubudlelwane bokholo kunye nomntwana.

Into efanelekileyo kakhulu ukuchaza kumntwana indlela ukukhulelwa komntwana kwenzeka ngayo, nendlela abantwana abazalwa ngayo. Xa umntwana usemncinci, ngoko ke ulwazi olubanzi malunga nesakhiwo sezitho zesini zesini kunye neendoda ziza kukwanela. Njengoko umntwana ekhula, nangona kunjalo, imibuzo iya kuvela, kwaye unokuzichaza ngokubanzi.

Biza izinto ngamagama azo kwaye ungabi ukoyika. Ukudala imfihlo kule sihloko sizathu esihle sokumemeza kunye noontanga kwiikona, kwaye sivuselela umdla obusondeleyo kubuhlobo obusondeleyo. Kungcono ukuba umntwana afunde kuwe ulwazi, ngoko amazwi oontanga uya kuba neengqiqo kwaye uya kukwazi ukunika uvavanyo olwaneleyo.

Ukuqwashiswa ngokuba ngumntu othile wesini kubantwana kubonakala kwiminyaka emibini okanye emithathu. Ngeli xesha, abantwana banomdla emzimbeni wabo, izifo zabo zesisu, kwaye kuqala ukuba nomdla nomzimba kunye nabasetyhini bobulili obuhlukile. Bajonga ngentshisekelo kunye neengqalelo baze bazive ngokwabo kunye neontanga zabo.

Abazali banethusa lo "sifundo" esinjalo. Abazali bakholelwa ukuba kusekuseni kakhulu ukuba umntwana azi into enjalo, aze adibane aze afunde xa afunda ukuba abantwana bacela ukuba bathathe i-panties yabo, okanye batshintshane baze bahlolisane xa bedlala "kugqirha."

Kule nqanaba, oku kuyinqwenela kuphela. Umntwana usazibona izitho zangasese njengengxenye yomzimba, ongabonakali ngonaphakade.

Eli nqanaba lokuphuhliswa kwengane libizwa ngokuba "inqwenela yesondo" kwaye kuthathwa njengento eqhelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kuyimfuneko ukulungiselela umntwana wakho kule nqanaba, ukuze kuhambe kakuhle.

Ukuthobeka, ngokukhawuleza kwaye uphendule ngokucacileyo imibuzo yomntwana malunga nezitho zangasese. Akukho sidingo sokufihliza kule ngxelo yefilosofi. Umntwana unemibuzo - uyayiphendula. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana unelisekile ngalokhu. Kwimeko apho ibhungu lifuna ukuqonda into okanye ichaza-cacisa kuphela ngokubhekiselele kumxholo wombuzo.

Ingane ayifuni ulwazi olongezelelweyo. Kodwa kwimeko xa umntwana engayitholi ulwazi olwaneleyo kuwe kumbuzo wakhe, mhlawumbi uya kukhangela impendulo kwenye indawo phakathi koontanga bakhe.

Xa umntwana ebuza imibuzo, ithetha ukuba umba wokungafani kwesini sele sele unomdla, ngoko ungacingi ukuba uncinci kakhulu kule nto.

Akukho nto ephosakeleyo ngento yokuba kunzima kubazali abathile ukuba bathethe amagama "abadala" ngelixa bexoxa nomntwana wabo. Kwizigaba zokuqala ukwanele ukuzigcina ezi zivakalisi wena kunye nosana lwakho osetshenziselwa ngaphambili ekutyunjweni kwezitho zesini. Emva kwexesha, unokumchazela ukuba abantu basebenzisa amanye amagama kunye namazwi.

Iinkcukacha ezichaza ubomi bobulili bomntu kunye nomfazi akakwazi ukuxelelwa. Kodwa kuyimfuneko ukuxelela malunga nesakhiwo somzimba kunye nelokuba umntwana usengakazalwa ekuzalweni kwesisu. Umntwana kufuneka awazi ukususela ebuntwaneni buntwaneni ukuba zizalelwa njani iintsana, ukuba zingeniswa yi-storks, ezingafumaneki kwiklabishi, kwaye ungathengi kwivenkile. Yaye xa uhamba nomntwana kwaye uye endleleni yokuhlangana nomfazi okhulelwe, kuyafaneleka ukuba uchaze ukuba ngaphakathi kwinkwenkwe okanye intombazana, kwaye uya kushiya umama kamama xa sele ekwazi ukuhlala yedwa. Intuition yakho ngokuqinisekileyo iya kukuxelela indlela yokuqhubeka nencoko xa umntwana enemibuzo eyongeziweyo. Umntwana uya kuhlala ephosakele kuwe xa enethemba lokuba uya kufumana kuwe impendulo enempendulo yombuzo oye wavela.