Ukunyaniseka kungathathwa njengokuzikhethela ngokuzithandela ngokwakho inkululeko. Kufana nentolongo, xa amabanjwa enqatshelwe ilungelo lokuthetha inkululeko, inkululeko yokunxibelelana, njl njl. Uninzi lwabantu, ngenye indlela okanye olunye, luziva lukhuni. Isixhobo esithile sokukhusela sendalo esikuvumela ukuba uhlole iimiphumo ezinokuthi zenziwe ngaphambi kokuba zenzeke. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukunyaniseka kubantwana kuhamba kunye nokuzithoba. Ngaphandle kwento yokuba abantwana abanamahloni banako ukuqonda inani leminye yeempawu okanye ubuchule babo, baninzi bazigxeka. Esinye sezizathu zokuzithemba okuphantsi kukuzifunayo kakhulu. Zonke ixesha zincinane ngaphantsi kwezinga abazifunayo ngokwazo.
Ubudlelwane obuhle bobazali kunye nabantwana kufuneka bahlakulele ngabantwana kubantwana be-school age, ukuzithemba ngokuqinisekileyo kubaluleka kwabo. Xa uthando lunikezelwa ngokungahambisani, xa linikezelwa ngokutshintshana kwinto ethile, umzekelo, ukuziphatha "ukulungisa", ngoko umntwana uya kuzikhusela yena ngokwakhe kunye nokuzithemba kwayo yonke into yakhe. Isigijimi sobudlelwane obunjalo nomntwana sibonakala: ulungile kakuhle nje ngokuba iziphumo zakho zibalulekileyo, kwaye awuyi kungena phezu kwentloko yakho nantoni na. Yiyo indlela iimvakalelo zothando, ukuvunywa kunye nokwalukelwa kwazo zenziwa yimpahla yabathengi ezingabanjelwa ukuba zitshintshwe "ukuziphatha kakuhle." Kwaye into eyona nto yinkathazo kukuba, ukuziphatha kakubi kakhulu kunokuba ungayilahleki. Kwaye umntu ongaqinisekiyo, onamahloni uyaziqonda le myalelo wezinto ngokuqhelekileyo: akafanekanga ukuba akafanelekanga. Nangona umntu onikwe uthando olungenammiselo, nangona emva kokushiyeka kwamanani amaninzi, akalahlekelwa lukholo kwixabiso eliphambili.
Imithombo yokunyaniseka kwintlekele yabantwana
Ezinye izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba ukuhlazeka kubunzima. Sekuqaleni kwiiveki zokuqala zobomi, abantwana bahlukile ngokwahlukileyo komnye nomnye: ezinye zikhala kakhulu, zixhomekeke ngakumbi kutshintsho kwimoya. Ukongezelela konke oku, abantwana ekuqaleni bahluke ngokwemvelo kunye nesidingo soonxibelelwano. Kamva, ezi zinto ziyakhula kwaye ziguquke zibe yimizekelo yokuziphatha. Abantwana abanesistim somdla ngokungaqhelekanga bonke bayithatha. Ngako oko, indlela yokucwangcisa yonke into iphuhliswa kwaye ikulungele ukubuyela.
Ukufunyanwa kwamava oluntu kwenza ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba yenzeke ngokupheleleyo imodeli yokuziphatha. Abantwana abathanda ukumomotheka, badla ngokumomotheka. Bahlala bembethe kwiingalo zabo kunokuba babenabantwana abancinci okanye abathulile. Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuqala zentloni, okubangelwa yimvakalelo yabantwana, kunye nendlela ezivakalelwa ngayo umntu othile. Ukuba abazali abazi indlela yokufundisa abantwana ukuba bahlalisane nabo, baya kuba banamahloni.
Uphononongo lubonise ukuba ilizwe elinamahloni amaninzi kunye neentloni phakathi kwabantwana abangaphambi kokufunda isikolo iJapan, apho ama-60% abaphendulayo ayicingca. Ingqiqo yehlazo isetyenziselwa ukulungisa ukuziphatha kwabantu ngabanye ngokwemigangatho yokuziphatha evumelekileyo. AmaJapan akhula ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba abanalo ilungelo lokungcolisa intsapho yabo. EJapan, umthwalo wonke woxanduva lokungaphumeleli luphela kuphela kumagxa omntwana ngokwakhe, kodwa impumelelo ibulela kubazali, ootitshala kunye nomqeqeshi. Olu hlobo lwenkqubo lugxininisa kumntu iimveliso zoshishino kunye neqhinga. E-Israel, umzekelo, abantwana bakhuliswa ngendlela echaseneyo. Nayiphi na impumelelo ibandakanyeke kuphela kumakhono omntwana, ngexesha elifanayo kunye nokuhluleka kuthiwa imfundo engafanelekanga, imfundo engafanelekanga, ukungabi nabulungisa, njl njl. Ngamanye amazwi, izenzo zakhuthazwa kwaye zakhuthazwa, kwaye ukungaphumeleli akuhlawulwanga kakhulu. Abantwana base-Israel abalahlekelwa nantoni na ngenxa yesiphumo, kwaye ngenxa yempumelelo bafumana umvuzo. Ngoko kutheni ungazami? Abantwana baseJapan, ngokuchaseneyo, abayi kuzuza nantoni na, kodwa banokulahlekelwa lukhulu. Ngako oko, bahlala bexhalabele kwaye bazame ukungathathi ingozi.
Izizathu ezibalulekileyo zokuba neentloni
Kukho izizathu ezininzi ezibangela ukuba neentloni kunye neentloni, njengoko kukho ezininzi iimeko ezibangele ukubetheka njengempendulo kwimeko ethile. Ngezantsi uluhlu lweentlobo zabantu kunye neemeko ezinokubangela ukuphendula okunjalo.
Abantu abangela utywaba:
1. Ongaqhelekanga
Abantu abanegunya (ngokusebenzisa ulwazi lwabo)
3. Abameli bobulili obuhlukile
Abantu abanegunya (ngokusebenzisa isikhundla sabo)
5. Izihlobo nabangaphandle
6. Abantu abadala
7. Abahlobo
8. Abazali
9. Abazalwana noodade (abaninzi kakhulu)
Uninzi lwamaxesha amaninzi, ukunyaniseka kubantwana beminyaka yobudala bentanga kubangelwa ngabantu abathile, ngeerameters ethile, bahluke kubo, banamandla, balawule ukuhamba kwezixhobo eziyimfuneko. Okanye ngaba ngabantu abasondeleyo kangangokuthi banakho ukugxeka.
Iimeko ezenza iintloni:
- Ukuba phakathi kwenkalo yeqela elikhulu labantu, ngokomzekelo, ukwenza nge-matinee
- Ubume obungaphantsi kunezinye
- Imiba efuna ukuzithemba
- Iimeko ezintsha
- Imiba efuna ukuvavanya
- Ubuthathaka, imfuno yoncedo
- Hlalani nibhekane nobuso besini esahlukileyo
- Incoko yoluntu
- Ukufumana ingqwalasela yeqela elincinci labantu
- Isidingo semisebenzi kwinani elincinci labantu
Abantwana abanamahloni bahlala bexhalabele xa bephoqelelwe ukwenza izinto ezithile kwiimeko ezingaqhelekanga, apho kukho iingxelo ezibalulekileyo zabanye abantu abanomdla kwaye banempembelelo.
Unokukunceda njani umntwana onamahloni?
Iingcali zengqondo zithetha ngeendlela ezintathu zokuziphatha "zabazali". Zichazwe ngale ndlela:
umzekelo womzekelo wenkululeko - umntwana ufumana inkululeko eninzi njengoko uyakwazi ukuwamkela;
umzekelo wemodeli yolawulo - inkululeko yomntwana iyancipha, inzuzo enkulu kukuthobela;
umzekelo wemodeli egunyazisiweyo - kukho ulawulo olupheleleyo lomsebenzi womntwana kunxalenye yabazali, kodwa kuphela kwisikhokelo esilungileyo nesakhayo.
Iziphumo zophando zibonisa ukuba imodeli egunyazisiweyo iyayinqweneleka kwaye iyasebenza kakhulu. Ikhuthaza ukuzithemba kubantwana be-school age, oku kuthetha ukuba yona ndlela iphumelele ekuphiliseni ukunyaniseka kwabantwana. Nangona iimbono eziqhelekileyo, ukusetyenziswa kwenkululeko ngokucacileyo ekukhuliseni akuyikuzithemba. Abazali be-Liberal bahlala bebona ukungabi nabulungisa kumntwana, abayicingi ukuba kuyimfuneko ukuphucula imigca engundoqo yokuziphatha kwakhe. Bahlala "besona" ukungahambelani kwimfundo, ngenxa yoko, abantwana banokuvakalelwa kukuba abazali abanomdla kwiimvakalelo zabo neengxaki zabo, ukuba abadingi abazali nonke.
Ezinye iinkxalabo ezigqithiseleyo ziyimodeli yolawulo yokukhulisa. Abazali abakhetha le modeli banakunakekelwa ingqalelo kubantwana xa bethetha uthando olungenasisiseko kunye nokunyamekela. Zingancinci kuphela ukwanelisa zonke izidingo zomzimba. Zijoliswe ngokukodwa kwiinkalo zokukhuliswa njengobunkokheli kunye nokuziphatha, kodwa abazinandaba nento yonke ngempilo yengqondo yabantwana basenkulanga. Abazali basemthethweni babalulekile ukuba bavelise ukuba abantwana babo bavelise abantu abajikelezile. Kubo, oku kubaluleke ngakumbi kunxulumano lwentsapho. Baqiniseke ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba bakha "indoda yangempela" ukusuka kumntwana, bengayiqondi ukuba baya kulwahlukileyo.
Ubungqina obuyimodeli yokugunyazwa kukuba, ngakwesinye icala, kukho ubukho bolawulo lwabazali, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, umntwana ukhula njengomntu. Abazali abanjalo banengcamango ecacileyo yento enokukwazi ukuyenza ngayo, banokubamba iingxoxo eziyimfihlo kunye nokuphulaphula oko umntwana enoxanduva lwakhe. Abazali abayiki ukutshintsha imimiselo yomdlalo, xa imeko entsha ibangela ukuba benze ngendlela eyahlukileyo.
Ngaphambi kokuba siphendule kwindlela yokulwa neentloni zezingane zangaphambi kwesikolo nokufundisa umntwana ovulekileyo, owamkelekileyo ngokomzwelo kwaye engengomntwana onamahloni, ndifuna ukuphawula enye into. Mhlawumbi wena, njengabazali, uya kunyanzeliswa ukuba uzitshintshe kuqala. Ungadinga ukutshintsha ngokupheleleyo ummandla endlwini, ukuze kungabi negalelo ekuphuhlisweni kweentloni kumntwana.
Qha ga mshelwano
Njengoko ukuxhamla phakathi kokunyaniseka nokungakhuselekanga kuyabonakala, omnye naye akanakukwazi ukuphawula ukuxhomekeka kwinqanaba lomngcipheko noxolo. Nangona ungazange wenze oku ngaphambili, qalisa ukuphazamisa abantwana bakho ngoku. Batshitshise, bonise uthando lwakho. Ukubathinta ngesisa, ukubetha entloko, ukukhupha.
Intetho ngentliziyo
Kuye kwabonakaliswa ukuba abantwana baqala ukuthetha ngokuchanekileyo nangokucacileyo, ukuba unina uthetha nabo ukususela ekuqaleni. Abantwana, oomama abanomsebenzi wokugcina umsebenzi wabo, bathethe kakubi, banegama elincinci. Ukuba ncinane wakho omncinci kakhulu akanakuqonda into - uthetha naye. Ngoko ubeka kuyo inkqubo ethile yoqhagamshelwano. Xa umntwana eqala ukuthetha eyedwa, umnqweno wokunxibelelana uya kuxhomekeka kwindlela ophulaphula ngayo kwaye uyiphendule.
Mvumele umntwana akhulume ngokukhululekileyo iingcamango neemvakalelo zakhe. Makhe akhulume ngokukhululekileyo malunga noko akufunayo, oko akuthandayo kunye noko akunjalo. Makhe maxa wambi ndimthule umsindo. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu, kuba ngokwenene abantu banamahloni bengazi ukuba baziphathe kakuhle ngexesha lokuvutha komsindo. Musa ukuvumela umntwana ukuba aqokelele iimvakalelo ngaphakathi kwakhe, makafunde ukukhusela amalungelo akhe. Mfundise ukuveza iimvakalelo zakhe ngokuthe ngqo, umzekelo: "Ndiyadabuka" okanye "Ndivakalelwa," njl njl Khuthaza umntwana ukuba athethe, kodwa unganyanzelanga ukuba athathe inxaxheba kuwo.
Uthando olunzulu
Kufuneka uthathe ngokungathí sina amagama angcali zeengqondo ezikholelwa ukuba ukuba awuhlali ujabule ngokuziphatha komntwana, umele amxelele ukuba awucaphukisi ngumntwana, kodwa ngezenzo zakhe. Ngamanye amazwi, kubalulekile ukuba umntwana azi ukuba uyathandwa, kwaye olu luthando aluxhomekeke kuyo nayiphi na into, luhlala luhlala luhlala luguquguqukayo, oko kungenanto.
Ukulungiswa ngothando kunye nokuqonda
Uqeqesho olugqithiseleyo lunokuchaphazela ukuphuhliswa kweentloni kwizingane zasesikolweni ezingasemva kwezi zizathu zilandelayo:
- Isiyalo sivame ukususela ekungalungeni koqobo komntwana, ekuqinisekiseni ukuba kufuneka ukuba utshintshe. Oku kukhokelela ekunciphiseni ukuzithemba.
- Igunya elinoyiko labazali linokukhula libe yinkimbinkimbi enzima, apho umntwana uya kuziva ukwesaba umntu omeleleyo. Ukunyeliswa kwesi sikhundla akubonakali ukuhlonishwa, kubonakalisa ukwesaba kwamandla.
- Ingqiqo ephezulu yokuziphatha ilawula. Abantwana abalawulwa ngokugqithiseleyo bakhula ngoyika ukuba baya kulahleka okanye nokuba baya kulawula imeko enzima.
- Into yokuqeqesha ngumntu, kungekhona imeko. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo isizathu sokuziphatha sisimo sezulu okanye ukuziphatha kwabanye abantu. Ngaphambi kokuba ujezise umntwana, qiniseka ukuba ubuze isizathu sokuba aphule enye yemithetho yakho.
Ukulungiswa akufanele kube yintlalo. Hlonipha isidima somntwana wakho. Iimpazamo zomntu kunye neentloni, oko umntwana azifumana ngexesha elifanayo, kunokunyusa ukunyaniseka kwakhe. Zama ukuphawula nje kuphela iimpazamo zomntwana, kodwa nokuba uqaphele ukuziphatha kakuhle.
Fundisa umntwana wokunyamezela
Ngomzekelo wethu kuphela esinokufundisa abantwana ukuba babe novelwano. Makhe bajonge isizathu sokungaphumeleli kokuqala kuzo zonke iimeko, kungekhona kubantu abajikelezile. Thetha malunga nokuba kutheni lo mntu okanye loo mntu wenza izenzo ezithile ezingenangqiqo, okanye oko kwakunokuchaphazela utshintsho kwihambo yakhe.
Musa ukutshiza umntwana
Ngokukhawuleza ukuba ufuna ukuxelela umntwana into engathandekiyo, khumbula ukuxhamla okufutshane phakathi kokuzithoba komntwana kunye neentloni. Oku kunokukunceda unqobe. Kubalulekile ukuba umntwana azihlole kakuhle.
Ithemba
Fundisa umntwana wakho ngakumbi ukuba athembele abantu. Ngenxa yoko, kubalulekile kubazali ukuba banako ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nomntwana. Mxelele ukuba uyamthanda kwaye uyamxabisa njengoko unjalo. Kwaye kukho abanye abantu abanokuyixabisa kwaye bayamhlonela xa esondela kubo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuya kuba soloko kubakho abo bakhohlisayo okanye bethengisa, kodwa, okokuqala, kukho okuncinci, kwaye okwesibini, baya kuzisa emva koko okanye emva koko.
Ukunyamekela abantwana
Zama ukunciphisa ixesha owachithayo ngokwasemntwaneni kwaye uhlale ulumkisa ukuba unako ukumnceda. Nengcaciso ngomzuzu ofudumele kunye nentlonelo nomntwana kubaluleke kakhulu kunomhla wonke, xa uhleli phantsi, kodwa uxakeke kwiindaba zabo.