Iingcebiso zengqondo: indlela yokuphepha ukuxabana phakathi kwabazali nabantwana kuxhomekeka kakhulu kwizesondo zomntwana wakho. Yinyaniso enomdla ephikisana neentombi zivela ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunabantwana, ngenxa yokuba intombi ifuna ukunxibelelana nesithuba esincinane kunokuba yindodana yakhe. Kule nto sibona ukuba ukungqubuzana kohlobo lwawo aluveli kwinto yokuba amalungu entsapho ayedlulele kumnye, kodwa, ngokuchaseneyo, ukususela ekusebenzisaneni kwabo okufutshane. Ngoko ke, ukuba unengxabano - ungakhathazeki okanye uzitshitshise, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba wonke umntu abhekane naye. Ukuze uphephe ukungquzulana phakathi kwabazali nabantwana, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda ubunzulu beli ngcamango, izizathu zokuvela kwazo, kwaye ziqwalasele iindlela zokusombulula.
Ingxabano iqala njani? Okokuqala, kwaye ngaphezu kwakho konke, lo mmahluko wenzala. Ngexesha elifanayo, ukwaneliseka komnqweno wecala elinye liphulaphula umdla walo mnye, ngamanye amazwi, ngokufanayo le miqweno ayikwazi ukuzaliseka, kwaye imeko ivela "nokuba ... okanye", apho kufuneka ikhethe enye yeminqweno neminqweno.
Kule meko, kukho iindlela ezimbini ezingalunganga kunye nendlela echanekileyo yokusombulula. Ngelishwa, uninzi lwabazali bakhetha indlela engafanelekanga yokuxazulula ingxabano, kubangele ezinye iingxaki zobunjwa bomntu kunye nokukhuliswa.
Cinga iindlela zokusombulula umzekelo othile wokulwa. Ngokomzekelo, iindwendwe kufuneka zize kwintsapho, kwaye umama kufanele amxolele intombi yakhe egumbini lakhe, apho ephendula khona okwangoku kufuneka aphelise inkqubo emele ayilahle kuyo enye yeendwendwe zakhe, uthi, umzala wakhe, athembisa lokugqibela. Kukho imeko engqubanayo, apho ngamnye umntu kufuneka azalise umnqweno wawo, kwaye nganye kufuneka izaliseke ngokuxeshanye.
Indlela yokuqala engalunganga yokulungisa ingxabano, apho umzali ephumelela khona. Umama uyalela intombi yakhe ukuba yishiye ishishini elingaqeshwanga kwaye ngokukhawuleza yenze oko akutshoyo. Le ndlela ithwala umyalelo kunye nobudlova, kuphela ukuvelisa ingxabano. Okokuqala, umntwana uyaziqonda ukwanelisa kuphela umnqweno wakhe kunye nokunciphisa iminqweno yabanye, awayeza kuyenza ebomini bakhe bonke. Okwesibini, sinobubi obufihlakeleyo bomntwana, ubuhlobo phakathi kwakhe nomzali buya kuhamba kwaye buya kuhlahloka. Ukuba usebenzisa le ndlela kwintombazana ukususela ebuntwaneni, iya kuba sikhuthele kwaye ibuhlungu, okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ayinayo.
Enye indlela engakhiyo yintlawulo yomntwana. Ukuba uyamnika ukunqoba rhoqo kwimpikiswano kwaye uyinike kuye ngenxa yakhe "yinto enhle", ngoko "umntwana" uhlakulela ukuzingca, ukungakwazi ukuzicwangcisa, ukulungisa iingxabano kwezinye iimeko, ngaphandle kwentsapho. Siyabona ukuba kwiindlela zonke ezingenakwakha zokuxazulula ingxabano, umntwana uqokelela iimpawu ezithile ezimbi kunye nezimo ezingafanelekanga, kwaye ngekamva uza kusombulula iingxabano ngokungalunganga.
Indlela echanekileyo iya kuba yintsebenziswano, ukuphumelela kokubili. Kule meko, iindlela zengqondo zokuphulaphula ngokuthe ngqo, "mna-imiyalezo" kunye novelwano kusetyenziswa, njengentengiselwano, ukuqonda omnye umntu nokuzibeka endaweni yakhe. Xa kukho ingxabano, phulaphula umnqweno wesinye, qwalasela ukuxazulula ingxabano, ekhokelwa yinyaniso yokuba iinjongo zombini zidibene. Ukuze kulungiswe ukuxabana ngoncedo lwe-compromise, okokuqala kuyimfuneko ukuvavanya imeko ngokwemacandelo omabini. Emva koko, ngoncedo lovelwano, ukuqaphela iminqweno yamabini omabini, isiphi isigqibo siya kulungeleka ngamnye. Isinyathelo sesithathu siya kuba ukuqhathanisa zombini iminqweno kwaye ufumane izicombululo ezininzi kwiingxaki-ngakumbi, ngcono. Emva koko, elowo maqela achaza indlela efanelekileyo yokulungiswa kwemibango.
Kule meko, bobabini umzali nomntwana bahlala bephumelele, ingxabano isisombululo, kwakhona, ngamnye umntu ufunda ukucombulula iingxabano ngaphandle kwentsapho.
Kodwa kukho ezinye izizathu zokungqubuzana kwintsapho. Ngokomzekelo, ukungaqondakali kolunye, ukungena kwamanye amazwe, iimfuno eziphakamileyo kwelinye icala okanye enye, ukuphulwa kwesithuba somntu siqu, ukwesaba ukuba iminqweno yamanye amaqela aphulwa okanye ukuba unelisekile enye yeminqweno ivaliwe. Impikiswano nje ivela ngokulula ukukwazi ukuthetha, ukuvutha komsindo komntu omnye, ukungakwazi ukuveza umnqweno kunye nokuchazela komnye.
Ukuba kwindawo yomphulaphuli - ungaphazamisi enye, gxininisa kuyo ingqalelo, unganiki ukuvavanya kumntwana, ungamgxeka ngexesha le ngxoxo, njengezigqibo zakhe. Musa ukunika iingcebiso, zinyamezele. Unokusebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zolawulo lweengqondo ukwenzela ukuba umntwana aqonde ukuba uyayiphulaphula. Kule nto, zibandakanya ukuthetha okungabonakaliyo ngomlomo, isenzo kunye nesimo sombuso. Ukuba umphulaphuli nguwe, ke ungamangaleli umntwana, uthethe ngoxolo, kungekhona kwiitoni eziphakamileyo, uchaze ngokucacileyo isikhundla sakho kunye neminqweno, ucingisise nangomnqweno womntwana. Mbonise ukuba uyamqonda, kwaye ungazikhuseli, kodwa ungamcindezeli.
Ngoko, isiluleko sengqondo sengqondo: njani ukuphepha ukuxabana phakathi kwabazali nabantwana oko bafana nabo? Ingcali yeengqondo icebisa ukuba ingadlulanga amava kunye nesimo esibi samalungu entsapho. Ukuba awukho emoyeni, zama ukujongana neengxaki zakho ngokwakho, kungekhona ngeendleko zomntwana wakho okanye umzali, ngokuvelisa iimeko zengxabano ngale ndlela. Ukuba ungumzali, qaphela ukuba ungamthobeli umntwana, umkhethe, ungayiqondi kwaye umlimaze ngelizwi. Izibhengezo kwiimeko ezinjalo aziyi kukhokelela ekungquzululeni kuphela, kodwa ziphangale kakhulu ubuhlobo bakho.
Kwimeko nayiphi na into, yamkela umntwana wakho njengokuba kunjalo, mxelele ukuba ufuna kuphela okusemandleni akhe, kunye naye, umthande, wamukele iminqweno kunye nesimo sakhe, ufunde ukuthetha, ngoko uya kufunda kunye kuphela , kodwa ugweme ukungquzulana.