Ngoko yintoni enye ingxaki intombi yakho enomntu onamahloni kwaye onokuphepha? Kukho ubuncinane iimpendulo ezimbini kulo mbuzo: yonke into iqulethwe ngumoya womntu okanye ukukhuliselwa kwakhe. Eyona mininzi ihlala kule meko, impendulo yokuqala iphezulu. Ukungaqiniseki ngenye yeendlela eziqhelekileyo zobunjani bomntu. Ngendlela, into ebangel 'umdla kukuba le nto ifumaneka kuthi sonke, kungekhona wonke umntu ubonisa. Ukungakhuselekanga kwamantombazana amaninzi kuyindlela ekhethekileyo yengqondo. Ukuzibonakalisa ngokwabo, le mpendulo iqala, malunga, kwiminyaka emine-emihlanu kwaye inyuse emva kwelishumi. Ukuqinisekiswa kwamantombazana abaneminyaka yobudala banokurhoxiswa, kungekhona ukuthetha kunye noluthando. Ngaphezulu, zonke ezi ntombazana zinabantu abambalwa kakhulu abahlobo kunye nexesha elide abakwazi ukufumana inkwenkwe. Kwaye konke ngenxa yeendawo zabo ezibalulekileyo kukugqithisela ukutyelela kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zoluntu kunye noluntu, kwaye, okokuqala, kwenzeka, ngenxa yokuba intombazana ivakalelwa zonke iimpazamo zayo kwaye iyasolisa. Iingenelo zabo aba bantu abazibonanga nonke kwaye abazi ukuba bangabonakalisa njani, kuba besaba ukungena kwiimeko ezingaqhelekanga. Kwaye konke oku ngenxa yokungaqiniseki ngokupheleleyo kunye nokubona ukungaphumeleki okungenakukuphepha kuzo zonke izinto kunye nemisebenzi. Ukungaqiniseki kukuba ukwesaba oko kuza kuba. Uhlala ephezu kwentloko kwinqanaba elincinci kwaye uya kuba yi-harbinger yokungaphumeleli okulindelekileyo kunye nokugxeka. Ngamanye amazwi, yinto yokunyaniseka eyenza ukuba lukhuni kuyo yonke into. Yintoni endingayithethayo, andiyithandi kakhulu, ukuba intombi yakho injalo. Ngoko, njani unokunceda intombi yakho ibe nethemba?
Ekuqaleni, kubalulekile ukuchonga izinto eziphambili ezithonya ukungaqiniseki kwintombi. Enye yale miba kule meko inokuba ngumva wokuxhalabisa. Nantsi, ke, ingxaki yonke ekukhulisweni kwentombi. Ukuhlambalaza rhoqo, ukugxeka kunye nokuhlambalaza kubazali ngokucacileyo akukho nto iyenzayo. Ingcikivo kukuba, okokuqala, isikhumbuzo sokusilela. Ngoko ke, kuyimfuneko ukusombulula nayiphi na imeko ngoxolo. Ngendlela, ukugcinwa ngokugqithisileyo nako kunakho ukuvelisa ubunzima babantu abangakhuselekanga. Ngoko ke, yonke into ifanele ibe ngokumodareyitha.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukunceda intombi ukuba ikwazi ukuzithemba ayikho nzima. Ekuqaleni, hlawula ingqalelo indlela othetha ngayo nentombi yakho. Zama ukuchitha kunye naye kangangexesha elinokwenzeka, ncokola ngezihloko ezahlukahlukeneyo uze uzame ukuphendula yonke imibuzo ebuzwa nguye. Zama ukuba ngumhlobo womntwana. Unokuyifumana intombi yakho kwimeko enkulu, apho inani elikhulu labantu lihlangana khona. Into ephambili kukuxhasa apho kwaye ungashiyi enye. Khumbula, ngokuphindaphindiweyo "uphuma kubantu" nayo, amathuba okuba uya kuqala ukuziva ekholose kwiimeko ezingekaqhelwanga ngaphambili.
Ukongeza, ukuba ufuna ukukunceda intombazana ibe yithemba lokuzimela, akufanele uqhathanise umntwana kunye nabanye abantwana. Ngokomzekelo, abazali bahlala becala abantwana babo ngokutsho ukuba intombi yommelwane uAlla igqoka njengomntu, kungekhona ukuba unayo abahlobo abaninzi, kodwa uhleli ekhaya. Ndikholelwe, ngala mazwi awusoze wakhula ukuzithemba kumntwana, kwaye nangona kunjalo, chukumisa umntwana wakho ukuvalwa ngokupheleleyo kuye. Injongo yakho - ukukholelwa kumntwana wakho kangangokuthi waziva kwaye wenza okufanayo. Khumbula ukuba unokukwazi ukufezekisa yonke into ngokukholelwa kuwe, ubuchule bakho namandla.
Ngendlela, ukuba ucinga ukuba kuyimfuneko ukuphendula intombazana yakho-yenza yedwa ngaphandle kwamangqina angadingekile, ukuze ungamqhubeli kwiimeko ezichaphazelekayo.
Kwakhona, ukuze uncede intombazana ibe nethemba ngakumbi kuye kunye namagunya akhe, mfundise ngokufanelekileyo nangokuzikhusela ngokucacileyo imbono yakhe. Ukuze wenze oku, phikisa naye uze umcele ukuba aqiniseke ukuba unelungelo lakho. Kodwa ungakulibali ukubuza intombi yakho ngombono wakhe kwaye ufumane iingxoxo eziphambili zokubangela ukuba acinge njalo. Yenza kuphela oku kunye naye kwingxoxo.
Zama ukufundisa intombazana ukuba iqonde kakuhle iihlaya zabanye, ngakumbi abafana. Cacisa ukuba akudingeki ukuba uthathe yonke into ngokoqobo kwaye ngokukodwa uthathe okunye kwidilesi yakho.
Ungakulibali ukuba umntu oqinisekileyo ungumntu onokwaneleyo kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo akazithembi. Mcebisa intombazana yakho imihla ngemihla, emi ngesibuko, ukuba uthi: "Ndiyomelele", "Ndiyathemba mna", "ndiya kukwazi ukugqiba yonke into engingayifuni" kunye njalo njalo. Uqeqesho olunjalo lunceda naliphi na umntu ukuba azive ekholose kwaye enesibindi.
Ekugqibeleni, cela intombazana yakho ukuba ihlangane ekhaya kunye nabahlobo rhoqo ngangokunokwenzeka. Bhaka into enhle kwaye uvumele ukuba badle. Emva koko, abahlobo abangakumbi, banokuzithemba ngakumbi. Ngendlela, ukuba intombazana yakho yeminyaka imvumela ukuba adibane nabafana, kodwa akenzi oko ngenxa yokunyaniseka kwakhe, amxelele enye inyana yintombi yakhe (ukuba kunjalo, kunjalo). Akunjalo ukuba into iya kuvela, kodwa umhlobo omtsha entombazaneni yakho akayi kukulimaza.
Ngenxa yoko, ndifuna ukongeza: kungekudala kamva intombazana yakho iya kushiya izindonga zekhaya layo ize iphume kwihlabathi elikhulu. Ngoko ke, nokuba uya kuba ngumntu oqinileyo kwaye onesibindi, kuncike kakhulu kubazali. Yazi, ngakumbi intembeko yakho iya kukwazi ukunceda ube ngumonde kunye nokholo kuye. Ewe, yonke into ingenzeke kanye kanye, kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe uya kubona iziphumo ezinkulu kwaye ngaphezu kwayo yonke iya kuba yinto efanelekileyo. Inhlanhla kuwe!