Abazali abaninzi bakulungele ukuvuma ukuba ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bayabakhohlisa ngokuziphatha kwabo. Bathi "ewe", nangomzuzu - "hayi", ngoko ke unenkani ngokuphinda "ndibuye" kwaye ndifune ukuzimela, kwaye ngoko ukuphikelela okufanayo ukwenqaba ukwenza into. Kwaye, ngenxa yoko, thina, abantu abadala, sithatyathwa kwiintlanzi kunye nabantwana bethu kwaye abazi ukuthi bangaziyeka njani. Ziziphi iindawo zokuhlala ezinganeni zasesikolweni, kwaye sisabela njani kubo-abazali?
Ukulumka okulukhuni, kufuneka ukhumbule oku kulandelayo. Akunakufuneka ukuba uthathe ukuziphatha komntwana, okungaqondakaliyo ngombono wengqiqo, njengoko ubhekiselele kuwe. Umntwana wakho uziphatha ngokuzeleyo ngokungekho ngenjongo! Kwakungaze kubekwe ukuguqula ubomi bakho ibe yintlungu okanye ukukulahla, kuba ngabazali ababi. Umsebenzi oyintloko wokwenza isikolo sokufundela kukukuvavanya. Okanye - ukujonga indlela engatshintshiyo okanye eyimfuneko yimiqathango yokuziphatha abantu abadala abayifake kuyo. Kuvela ukuba umntwana uyaziqhelana. Ukugatya ukuthobela nayiphi na imfuno yabazali, ngoko ufuna ukuqiniseka ngokubomi bakhe bonke, nokuba ngaba le mfuneko iyimfuneko. Abantwana abafuni ukuthatha nantoni na, kwaye bulela uThixo. Ngenxa yolu hlobo, bahlakulela-emoyeni, ngokwenyama, nangentlalo.
I-SUITE YONKE NGONYE SOFA
Abantwana basesikolweni bavavanya abazali babo kwiindlela ezingalindelekanga - ngubani owaziyo. Kodwa emva kwebonakalayo, ngokusobala kunye nokunyaniseka kokuphendula komntwana kwisibheno sakho kuye, ukufuna impendulo yombuzo kufihliwe: "Yaye ndihlala phi kwindawo ejikeleze yona? Ngubani ojongene nento eyenzekayo apha kwaye ngoku? Ukuba umama, apho ndaqhelana nawo ekuzalweni, ngaba kufuneka ndilawulwe ubomi bam? "
Umntwana ufunda amaxesha amaninzi ngemini malunga nendlela angakwazi ngayo kwaye akufanele enze, ukuba ufuna ukudibana nabanye okanye ukhuselekile. Uyifumene nale nkcazelo njengentonga. Kodwa ke akakwazi ukuyilahla. Ngaloo nto uqala ukuhlaziya abantu abadala. Oko kukuthi, okokuqala bangela ukuphendula okuthile kwi "yabo andiyi kufuna, andiyi kuthi," kwaye ke, kuxhomekeke kule mpendulo, idibanisa izicelo ezibhekiswe kuso ukuze zikhetho kwaye zikhethiweyo.
Ngokombono weengqondo zengqondo, umntu kufuneka akhathazeke ngabazali babo abantwana abathobelayo baze balandele nayiphi na imiyalelo. Kwaye ukuziphatha okuqinileyo kwabantwana kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kuba kuyindawo ecacileyo ekuphuhlisweni kwayo. Kwaye kwenzeka ukusuka kumzuzu nje xa umntwana eqala ukuqonda "ukuhlukana" kwakhe kubazali kunye nootitshala, uqala ukuziziva azimele kwaye unako ukwenza izinto ezizimeleyo. Oku kufumanisa, ngakwesinye icala, kugcwalisa umntwana wakho ngokuqhayisa novuyo, kodwa kolunye uvelisa ukwesaba, njengento entsha. Yingakho okokuqala ngqa abantwana bahlala bebalinganisa phakathi "mna mna" kwaye "andiyi kuba."
Abantwana bokuqala esikolweni basebenzisa i-vagaries ukuqinisekisa ukuba, umzekelo, nokuba ngaba baqonda ngokuchanekileyo umyalelo wabo umama. Kungenxa yokuba siyazi ukuba awukwazi ukudweba kwi-sofa. Umntwana oneminyaka emithathu unokucinga ukuba unina wayenqabile ukuba akwenze oku ngenxa yokuba wayekho kuloo mzuzu wayenemeko embi. Ngenxa yoko, emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa, uzama kwakhona ukuguqula isitya esisodwa kunye nesafa enqamlekileyo ngoncedo lwamakishi. Kufuneka aqiniseke, kodwa kulungile ukuba wenze njalo. Umama mhlawumbi uya kucinga ukuba umntwana uyafuna ukumcaphuka. Ewe uya kuba - unenkxalabo ebalulekileyo!
NGABANI ABALUNGILEYO
Ummelwane wam onke imihla ngemihla waqala "ne-Kulikovo", kuba unyana wakhe oneminyaka emihlanu wayenqaba ukugqoka. Wazama yonke into: wamnika iingubo zokukhetha, wayibeka ngokuhlwa ukusuka embhedeni, wayegubungela ngamathoyizi kunye neesekese - akunakunceda! Njalo intsasa indlu yethu yaziswe ngomsindo womntwana, izandi zokubetha kunye nokukhala komama. Kwaye kwakungeke kube nokuphela kwezi zihlazo, ukuba olunye usuku lukhulile abazali abazange bafune uncedo kwisazi sengqondo.
Kwaye ingcali yachaza ukuba unyana uyavavanya iimfuno zabantu abadala "ngamandla". Umntwana wayezama ukuqonda ukuba imeko leyo yatshintshile kwaye ngoku kufuneka abe noxanduva lokugqoka kwakhe kusasa, kungekhona unina, njengangaphambili. Umntwana osenkulanga wayenomuvo wokuthi kulindeleke ukuba kwenziwe okuthile, kodwa akazange akwazi ukuwuthatha imeko phantsi kolawulo lwakhe. Lapha wayenomqhinga, wawuthatha ixesha, wayezibambelela emthanjeni wokunyamezela. Ngokuqhelekileyo ama-whims anjalo aqhubekayo kude kubekho umntwana eqinisekile ukuba kuyimfuneko yokwenza njalo, kungenjalo. Abazali banokumnceda kule ndlela ngeendlela ezininzi. Kodwa ke oko abamelwane bam benzayo ngcebiso yengcali yengqondo.
Xa kusasa kusasa, kunye nomnye umkhosi olwa phambili, uMama wayeziphatha ngokungafani. Ingaba unyana akafuni ukugqoka? Musa. Ngoko, uya ku-kindergarten kwiipjama zakhe kunye ne-slippers. Indlela eya kwintsimi yayihamba kunye namaqhinga abadlulileyo-kodwa, ezi zinto zazingqhathaniswa nento eyayilindele inkani! Oontanga bamzungezile njengengonyama engaqhelekanga, wayibonisa ngeminwe yakhe, wayibamba ngemikhono yakhe kwaye wayedlala. Ngomso olulandelayo, ngenxa yeendonga zendlu yommelwane, kwakungekho isandi, kwaye emva kokuhamba ngefestile emva kwexesha elifutshane, ndabona inkwenkwe, igqoke entloko ukuya enyaweni, umama wayemkhokela ngobumnene ngesandla.
Kubalulekile ukuba abazali banomonde, ukwenzela ukuba basetyenziselwe ukuxoxisana kunye nokukholisa, kungekhona ukumemeza okanye ukujeziswa. Akulula, kodwa kunokwenzeka.
• Abantu abadala kufuneka bacacise ngokucacileyo imigaqo-enyanzelekileyo kumntwana kwaye apho angayifumana khona uncedo. Futhi ukuma ukufa ekulweni kuphela ngowokuqala kwabo. Kwaye ukuba umntwana kulula ukuthobela, mnike ithuba lokunyaniseka. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukukhanda iplastiki kwipakethe ekwibumbi lokulala, ubeke ioliyile okanye umcele ukuba abuyele ekhitshini. Ngendlela, ebukhosini obuqinileyo, obonakalayo ngokukhawuleza, umntwana wakho uya kuziva ekhululekile.
• Musa ukumisela imida emininzi. Ngaphandle koko, awuyikubulala kuphela inzululwazi yabantwana, kodwa uzalise nomnqweno womntwana wokuqala ukulwa apho abazali abalahlekelwa khona. Ngokutsho kweengcali zengqondo, ukuba abantu abadala bakhononda ngokuphindaphindiweyo kubantwana babo, oku kuthetha ukuba bahlala kwiindawo ezichasayo eziqhubekayo. Yilungiselela ubomi bomntwana ukuze ungakhathazeki ngokukhuseleka kwayo yonke iminithi, kodwa kuba into enqatshelwe. Umzekelo, kutheni ukhalaza umntwana: "Suka kwi-outlet!" Ukuba ungawavala ngeeplogi ezikhethekileyo.
• Ukuba uqaphela ngokukhawuleza ukuba umntwana uyayiphendula nayiphi na imiyalelo yakho ngaphandle kokungabaza, igama elithi "hayi", thintana naye ngendlela enokuthi akwazi ukuphendula ngayo. Ngokomzekelo, musa ukubuza ngelizwi elixhalabisayo: "Ngaba uya kugqitywa?" Mcebise ukuba: "Makhe ndikuncede ukuba ugqoke" okanye ubuze: "Ufuna ukugqoka - iingubo okanye ijee?" Indlela efanelekileyo yokunciphisa imvakalelo emibi yezinto ezichasayo - bavakalise iimfuno zabo ukwenzela ukuba bangabonakali kakhulu.
• Ncedisa umntwana osemfundela ukuba enze iimvakalelo zabo. Usencinane kakhulu ukuba athi kusihlwa: "Ndidiniwe namhlanje, ndixinezelekile." Endaweni yoko, uya kukulungelelela endleleni esuka e-garden hysteria ngenxa yetshokolethi engapheliyo. Khulisa umntwana ngamagama athi: "Ndiyazi ukuba unosuku olulukhuni, ngoko ngoku siza ekhaya kwaye ndiya kuza nomdlalo onomdla kodwa onokuthula." Emva koko umntwana uya kuqonda into eyenzekayo kuye, kwaye akayi kuhlola ukuba imbi kakhulu ukukhwaza phakathi kwevenkile. Ukongezelela, uya kuvuya ukuba uyayinyamekela impilo yakhe. Ungesabi ukuthetha ngale ndlela ngisho nangomnye oneminyaka elilodwa ubudala-uya kukuqonda kakuhle, ukuba uthetha ngokuphendula kwakhe: "Ulambile, zintlungu, ngoku ndiya kufudumala ubisi."
• Yilungiselele ukuqhuma okungalindelekanga komntwana wakho. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba umfundi ongeyena mfundi akasazi indlela yokuzilawula ngendlela abantu abadala abazenza ngayo. Naluphi na utshintsho kwi "indawo" - ushiya indawo yokudlala, ucima iTV ngaphambi kokulala, njl njl. - kungenza umntwana akuvavanye. Ukuphendula okunjalo kunokubangela ukuxhatshazwa kwintsapho, umzekelo, abazali beqhawula umtshato okanye imeko engozini yemali. Kwaye kwiingxaki zakhe ngendlela yemigodi emanzi okanye ukudluliselwa ukusuka kwelinye iqela ukuya kwelinye, umntwana akanako ukusinda. Nasi "uqubude". Kuvela kwivakalelo zokungakhuselekanga kuwe, ekulahlekelweni ukulawulwa ngokwakho kunye nemeko, kwaye kungekhona ngenxa yokuba ufuna, ngokwenza i-whims, ukufumana iingxaki zakho. Nangona umntwana ekhulile kwaye i-antics enjalo sele ikhohliwe, kwiimeko ezikhethekileyo bayabuya kwakhona. Musa ukwenza inkathazo kuyo.
• Khumbula ukuba imfundo yinto enzima. Kwaye kunqabile ukuba nabani na bazali banokuziphatha nabantwana imihla ngemihla ngokulinganayo. Thina siziva sisinakunceda ngethuba ngaphambi kokuba i-vagaries yezingane zasenkulumeni kunye nesiphumo-siwaphule. Ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumsindo - ungakhathazeki, kodwa lungcono uxolo kumntwana. Uya kubona - uya kukuxolela kakhulu. Ukunceda kakhulu kwiimeko ezibucayi kunye nomdlalo wokuhleka. Musa ukukhathazeka, kungekudala kamva umntwana wakho uya kuguqula yonke into oyifundisayo, kwaye ube ngumntu ontle. Konke ngexesha elifanelekileyo.