Ngokuqinisekileyo, konke kuxhomekeke kwindlela intombazana eneminyaka ngayo. Ukuba uneminyaka engamashumi amabini, ngoko nje ibukeka ingenangqondo kwaye ingenangqondo. Sekunjalo, zicinge ngokwakho, yiziphi iimfuno eziqhelekileyo ezingenako umntwana kunye nomfazi omdala omdala?
Kodwa kwimeko xa umntu oneminyaka engamashumi amabini ubudala, konke kuxhomekeke kwiingqondi, ukuziphatha kunye nesimo sengqondo kwihlabathi. Ewe, xa intombazana ikhulile kunomntu oneminyaka engama-6, oku akuyiyo yonke iya kwamkela kwaye iyaqonda. Ngoko ke, umntu kufuneka alungele imibono yeengcamango kunye neengxoxo. Enyanisweni, empeleni, ubomi bakho kunye nolwalamano lwakho akufanele lukhathalele nantoni na. Kufuneka ufunde ukunyanzelela ukuhleka nokugweba. Ngokwenene, ezinjalo zibandakanyeka, abantu abangakhuselekanga abangenayo i-intelligence ephezulu kunye nabo baphila ubomi obunzima bempahla. Kubantu abanjalo, umntu akufanele akhatyathele ingqalelo, ekubeni uluvo lwabo luyacatshulwa, kwaye amabinzana azaliswe yi-bile. Abantu abanjalo kufuneka baphathwe ngamashishini abandayo. Ekugqibeleni, akufanele kuphazamise kwaye kutshabalalise ubomi bakho nothando, evelele kule mpumelelo encinane.
Ngokuphathelele zakho iingcamango malunga nommahluko, unokululeka nje ukuba ungagcini. Ukuba uthe wathandana nomfana onjalo, ngoko wakhupha njengomntu, akunjalo? Emva kwakho konke, ukuba uvakalelwa ngokwenene kwiminyaka yakho, uya kumphatha njengomhlobo, njengomntakwabo omncinci, kodwa kungekhona njengoko uvakalelwa ngento ovakalelwa ngayo ngoku. Ubudala abukho naso sonke isibonakaliso somlingani, injongo kunye nokuqonda. Kukho abafana abangamashumi amathathu abangayazi into abayifunayo, hambani nokuhamba kwaye bahlale bexinezelekile kwaye abayikwazi ukuqonda oko bakufunayo kubuhlobo. Ngelo xesha, kukho abafana abaye bacebise ubomi babo ngokucacileyo, baneenjongo kunye neenjongo, bahlonele amantombazana, bazame ukufumana abo baqabane kwaye bangatshintshi ubudlelwane obungenanto kunye neenkampani ezingathandekiyo. Ukuba umntu onjalo usondele kuwe, ngoko awuze ucinge ukuba uncinci. Kuba yena akayena unyaka wokuzalwa, kodwa iingcamango, izenzo kunye nezenzo. Ukuba loo ndoda incinci ithembisa into ethile, unokuhlala uqinisekisiwe ukuba uya kuqinisekiswa ukuba isithembiso siya kufakwa kwisenzo ngokutsho kwakhe. Abafana baqala ukufumana imali yabo ngokwabo, bancede abazali babo, baqeshise indlu. Ngokuqhelekileyo, bayakwazi ukusebenzela nokufunda, banokwenza izinto ezikhethiweyo kunye nokuxhamla nophuhliso lwabo olubanzi. Kwenzeka ukuba intombazana, ecaleni kwendoda enjalo, ivakalelwa kukuba ayinakhuli, kodwa incinci. Inyani kukuba ukubonga ngokubaluleka okubekwa phambili, abafana bolu hlobo lwengqondo kunye nomlingiswa awusoze baphatha kakuhle. Oku akuthethi ukuba awaziyo ukuzonwabisa kunye nokukhohlisa. Kanye nje ngexesha elifanelekileyo, umfana uhlala eyazi indlela yokuzibamba kunye kunye nokuphatha imeko enjengomntu, kungekhona umntwana.
Ngendlela, ngokuqhelekileyo aba bantu babonakala bekhulile kuneeminyaka yabo, ngoko ke, abantu abambalwa abaza kuqiqa malunga nobudala beminyaka yakho.
Ukuba umfazi ukhetha umfana omncinane kunalo, awukwazi ukugweba lo msebenzi kwaye uyicinge njengento yokuphambuka. Emva kweminyaka engamashumi amabini, ubude beminyaka ayisabonakali njengokuba ngethuba lokukhula kunye neminyaka emithandathu ekuye kube yimpumelelo enkulu. Enye into ukuba intombazana yona ayikwazi ukuyithintela ingxaki yakhe yengqondo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba abafazi banqanda iimvakalelo ngokwabo, kuba bajonga ukuba uthando lwabo lungalunganga kunye nokuziphatha okubi. Emva koko, le nkwenkwana ifanisa abazalwana bakhe abancinci. Ewe, imigaqo ebekwa luluntu kunzima kakhulu ukuyiphula. Intombazana nganye, ekungeneni kwimeko efanayo, ngokukhawuleza ibhekane nokugwetywa kwaye iyaqonda ukuba yenza into engalunganga. Kubonakala kubo ukuba ngokukhetha uthando lwabo, lubeka inzondo kubo kunye naloo mntu, ukuziphatha kakubi kunye ngokusemthethweni. Awunakuze uwathathe ngale ndlela. Ngothando, akukho ukuziphatha kakubi, ukuba ayikhubekisi kwaye ayibangeli nantlungu na kwabanye. Ngoko ke, abo banokugweba eso sibini, ngokwenene, banomona nje ngovuyo kunye nenkalipho yokuba babe kunye. Umntu oqhelekileyo akaze axoxe ngokuphathelele ubudlelwane kunye neemvakalelo zabanye, kuba ziyingxaki kubini kuphela, abo banokuzibona zonke izinto ngokwabo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyaqonda ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene umntu omncinci kunako, kwaye uvakalelwa ngolu hlobo, ungayeki uthando uze uphule intliziyo kwindoda enokuba isiqingatha sakho. Kungcono ukuthetha naye kwaye uxoxe yonke into.
Okokuqala, kufuneka uqonde ukuba ukhangele ubuhlobo kunye nomxholo wothando. Umntu ucinga njani ubomi bakhe ecaleni kwakho, oko akufunayo nento aya kuyenza. Ukongezelela, kufuneka uzinikele ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe zinzulu okanye ukuba lububungqina buntsha. Awufanele ulibale ukuba sele ufuna ubuhlobo obunzulu, kwaye umfana, mhlawumbi, uthatha yonke into engumntwana kwaye kungekudala akayi kukwazi ukumelana nobukhulu obubekwe emahlombe akhe. Ngako oko, zama ukuhlala ucinga ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ungavumeli ukuba indawo yentlalo ibe nefuthe kwiinqununu zakho. Ubulumko bobutyhini kunye nobutyebi buya kusinceda ukuqonda oko kwenzeka ngokwenene kunye nendlela enokuyenza ngayo kule meko. Ungazixeleli ukuba kusencinane kwaye awuyi kuphumelela.
Kukho amacala amaninzi xa abafana badibana nesiphelo sabo kwishumi elinesibhozo-elishumi elinesithoba, batshata baphile umphefumlo emphefumlweni kuze kube ngumtshato wegolide. Kungoko, ngaphambi kokumgxotha loo mfana, kufuneka uqonde kwaye unqume ukuba uya kuba ngumyeni wakho kunye noyise wabantwana bakho. Ukuba ngaba kunjalo, kutheni ufanele ulahle imizwa yakho kunye nolonwabo lwakho. Uthando lokwenene, iminyaka engakaze ibe yinto kwaye ayiyi kuba ngumqobo omkhulu kwaye nangona intombazana ikhulile kunomfana iminyaka engama-6 - akunjalo neze.