Kukho amadoda anokubhubhisa abathandekayo babo ngokomzwelo, ebaphendulela kubafazi abadandathekileyo, abaqhayisa. Bambiwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo: "i-psychopath" engathandabuzekiyo, "i-misogynists", "i-misogynists" okanye nje "amadoda angalunganga", aphethwe kakuhle ngecala. Kodwa njani ukubala le ntlobo kwisigaba sokuthandana? Yaye uyazi njani ukuba ngubani na ongaphambi kwakho onothando oluthandekayo okanye onobungqineli? Yonke intokazi kufuneka ikwazi oku.
Banokuphumelela entlalweni, bekhangele ngaphandle, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo umfazi, atshade nomntu onjalo, ucinga ukuba ufumene umvuzo ebomini. Kwaye emva kwexesha elithile, kukho izinto eziphazamisayo. Ezi ziqubuliso zomsindo, zilandelwa ukuthula okude. Oku kukusoloko kugxekwa ngezenzo zakho - kwaye kaninzi kwindawo kawonkewonke ("Musa ukuyiqwalasela, njalo into ayayi kukhwela"). Ulawulo olungapheliyo kukho konke owenzayo, ukugculela uluvo lwakho, iingcamango zakho, iingcamango zakho. Umntu onjalo ufezekisa into enye: ukuphelisa ngokupheleleyo umfazi kunye nobukhulu bakhe. Ekubeni ama-misogynists - abantu ngokuqhelekileyo bahlakaniphile, kwenzeka ngokungaqondakali. Kwaye ngelinye ilanga umfazi ufumanisa ngokupheleleyo: unezifo ezininzi zeengqondo, uxhomekeke kwiinkozo okanye iipilisi, akakwazi ukusebenza, akakwazi ukuhamba ngaphandle kweengcebiso kumyeni wakhe.
I-Romantic Last
Okumangalisayo kukuba, umntu onjalo ekuqaleni kweentsebenziswano unothando kakhulu. Konke kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza: ukujonga komlilo, ukuvakalisa ngokukhawuleza uthando kunye nobusuku bokuqala ukunikezelwa kwesandla nentliziyo. Kubonakala ukuba le yindoda yangempela yamaphupha akho: uyayichasa iintlanganiso zezoshishino zakhe, uthembisa ukusombulula zonke iingxaki zakho ngexesha, ukhawuleza ukuzazisa abazali bakhe nabahlobo bakhe. Bakhuliswa kwiimvanoveli kunye namabhayisikobho amantombazana, abaninzi bethu banjalo kwaye oko kuyonwabile.
La madoda aziphatha ngale ndlela, kungekhona nje ngokuba ayazi oko "sikuthengayo". Ukuxhatshazwa okunjalo kuyimfuneko kubo ukuze ubudlelwane benu bangadluli kwisigaba esiqhelekileyo sokuphuhliswa, kwindlela apho iimpawu zabo ezingabonakaliyo zingenzeka ngayo.
YINTONI YOKWENZA?
Ukuba umntu uzama ukunciphisa ixesha lobudlelwane, mcele ukuba anciphise ukuphuhliswa kweemeko: "Kufuneka siphumelele phi? Emva koko, sisekho kunye kwaye siphelile ยป. Umntu oqhelekileyo uya kuvelisa oku, umonakalisi, mhlawumbi, uya kulahla.
"Wena kunye nam"
Ewe, indoda yolu hlobo ikhetha umfazi othile. Akunjalo lowo, xa ebona intlungu yakhe yothando, uyazibamba kuye: "Kakade, ngoku ndiya kushiya yonke into ndize nditshatile umntu." Ukhangelele umntu onamaphupha okudibanisa kunye nentanda yakhe. Ekuqaleni, ukuzaliswa kweso "I" kumabini abo bobabili bahlala kwimvelaphi. Yonke inkunkuma yamandla isetyenziselwa ukuthandana, ukuthandwa, ukufuna imvume kunye nokupheliswa kwengqondo komnye nomnye. Ewe, ixesha elinjalo lidlulileyo kuzo zonke izibini, kodwa olu hlobo aluyi kukhuthazelela ukuba uphazamiseka ngabahlobo, intombi, nokuba ngumsebenzi omele ucinge ngako.
YINTONI YOKWENZA?
Naliphi na umntu phambi kwakho, nokuba akunzima kangakanani uthando lwakho, zama ukuyidiliza ngokupheleleyo kumntu wakho. Gcina ezinye ubudlelwane - kunye nabahlobo, intsapho. Khangela indlela indoda yakho eya kusabela ngayo xa unomdla wokuthetha ngomsebenzi wakho okanye umdlalo. Ukuba uthe wangena embi kakhulu okanye xa uthetha ukuba ungenzi lutho, qaphela. Mhlawumbi ngombono wakhe "kungabi nantlonelo" kuphela uthando kuye kunye nokuthobela ngokupheleleyo.
Ukuhlangula ukucwina
Ezi zengqondo ezithandayo zidlala kwisifiso sethu sokuba siyimfuneko kumntu, ukunceda, ukunyamekela. "Xa ndidibana noNicholas, wandixelela ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi waza wenza amatyala amaninzi. Ndandivuyiswa ngolu hlobo. Kwaye ndandiziva ndivuyiswa kukuba ndingamnceda. UNicho wamangaliswa ngokuphendula kwam. Kwaye mna umbulelo wakhe woba ngumvuzo ongcono, "kusho uLidia. Ekuqaleni kubonakala ngathi kulula ukumnceda lo mntu, kodwa ke kubonakala ukuba umsebenzi omnye awukude ekhaya, omnye akahambisani nezicelo zakhe, okwesithathu ungumphathi ombi. Yaye inyaniso yokuba akakwazi ukufumana indawo ebomini, ukushiya izilingo (utywala kotywala, ukugembula), kuphela uya kuba netyala.
YINTONI YOKWENZA?
Zama ukumnceda kanye kwaye ubone indlela ayenzayo ngayo. Ukuba uyayigxina ngamandla kwaye uya kuthatha amanyathelo asebenzayo "usindiso" lwakhe, yonke into ilandelelwe. Ukuba izizathu ziqala okanye emva kwexesha umntu uphinde uzifumene kwimeko apho efuna ukukunceda, kuthetha ukuba le ndlela yokuphila yakhe.
Enye into enomdla: xa unika uncedo kumntu ofanelekileyo, ufumana, njengomgaqo, ukuzithemba nokuzola. Ukuba u-misogynist, uziva ukhathazekile kwaye uzilungele ukwenza izinto ezingenangqiqo. Lo ngumphambili omkhulu.
Uxhoba lomfazi ohlambalaza
Enye impawu ye-misogynist - wayenenhlanhla kubafazi. Baye bazibhokoxa ngokwabo, befuna ukunyusa, kwaye, ngokubalulekayo, abahlaziyi, abangela ama-scandals nakweyiphi na imeko. Oku kufuneka kukuqaphele.
Ngoko, ngoku ukhangele umfazi onesidima esincinane, uxhomekeka ngokwemvakalelo, obuthathaka, kwaye kuwe ubona oko. Enyanisweni, akukho into yokuba abafazi bangaphambili belo ndoda babechukumiseka kakhulu ngenxa yokuzalwa. Kalula nje, ukuba ufunde uhlobo luni lomntu phambi kwakho, nawuphi na umfazi oba ngumfazi onobuhlungu.
YINTONI YOKWENZA?
Mcele ukuba athethe ngobomi bakhe, ukuba kutheni aphule kunye nabafazi bakhe, intombi. Ukuba uyayenqaba ngokunyanisekileyo, thatha i-alamu: mhlawumbi ufuna ukufihla into kuwe. Bonke abafazi "bebengayiqondi", babe "bastards", "abahlaziyi"? Ingakumbi zigijime kuye, ukwenzela ukuba zingabikho kumqolo wazo (kwaye ukuba uhlala-uya kuba khona). Ufanelwe uthando kunye nentlonelo yomntu oqhelekileyo, kwaye kungekhona umntu oza kusebenzela wena kwiinkomfa zakho. Akunjalo?