Ngelishwa, akuzona zonke iintsapho ezibathandayo kunye nokuqonda. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abavumelaniyo kwaye wonke umntu uqala ubomi ngokutsha. Kodwa ukuba intsapho inomntwana, kukho ubunzima abathile. Okubaluleke ngakumbi, xa indoda yangaphambili ingayithandi umntwana kwaye ayifuni ukuthetha naye. Ngaloo mzekelo ngaba oomama bangalimazi njani unyana okanye intombi?
Kule meko, kufuneka, okokuqala, ukuqonda into eyenzekayo kumntu. Umyeni wangaphambili akazange amthande umntwana ekuqaleni, okanye ngaba ubudlelwane bakhe buguqukile emva komtshato? Ukuba sithetha ngolu hlobo lokuqala, oko akumangalisi. Inokwenzeka ukuba, okokuqala indoda yayingumthwalo, apho ekugqibeleni wayilahla. Kungcono ukulibala malunga "nobaba" onjalo, ukuze kungabikho ukukhathazeka kumntwana.
Kodwa unokwenza njani xa umntu wangaphambili ulungele umntwana kwaye ngoku uyeke? Okokuqala, zigqibo ukuba yiyiphi eyona nto ebangela ukuba le mpu kwaye yenze isigqibo sokuba uphume njani kwimeko.
Umtsha omtsha
Umyeni wangaphambili waqalisa intsha intsapho. Kule meko, ngokuqhelekileyo umntu uqala ukumisa umfazi omtsha ngokumelene nomntwana. Umfazi onjalo unokucinga ukuba umyeni wakhe uza kubuya kuwe ukuba unamathele kumntwana. Ngokuqinisekileyo, lo mkhuba awunangqiqo, kodwa abanye abafazi abayiqondi le nto kwaye baqinisekisa abantu ukuba abananto ebantwini bendlu yangaphambili ngaphandle kwe-alimony. Kule meko, ungahambelani nenkosikazi ekujonganeni kwaye utshele umntu wangaphambili ukuba uphathise ubuhlobo bakhe nomntwana. Sifanele siziphathe ngokuzinzile nangendlela efanelekileyo. Mchazele nje umyeni wangaphambili ukuba unyana wakhe okanye intombi ayidingi imali yakhe, kodwa ukufudumala kukayise kunye nesandla esomeleleyo. Nika imizekelo yamabali xa abantwana beentsapho ezinomzali ongabodwa benenkxalabo kunye noloyiko. Buza umyeni ongumdala njengomntu omdala kunye nohlakaniphile ukuba angadlulisi kumntwana wakho iimpikiswano kunye nokungavumelani. Gxi ninisa ukuba wena ngokwakho akudingeki nantoni na kuye, kodwa umntwana kufuneka abe noyise, lowo ujwayele ukuba naye kunye nalowo amthembayo.
Ukuba umyeni wangaphambili akaphendulanga ngandlela-thile kumagama akho, ungahamba ngenye indlela - ukuba ungavumi ukunxibelelana nomntwana, ukuphikisa ukuba uyabandezela umntwana ngengqondo yakhe ebandayo. Ukuba umntu uyamthanda ngokwenene umntwana, ngokukhawuleza uya kuqonda iimpazamo zakhe aze ayeke ukuziphatha ngale ndlela.
Ebonakalayo kumntwana wesibini
Kukho enye imeko apho indoda yangaphambili iqala ukukhusela umntwana, kuba unayo "ubaba" omtsha. Kule meko, sithetha ngamacandelo abantu kunye nezikhalazo zabo. Ukuba umntwana wakho wathandana noyise wakhe, uyayamhlonela uyise ngaphandle kwengcamango yangaphambili, engayiqondi indlela loo nto ebonakala ngayo ebomini yakhe okanye intombi yomalume womfokazi. Kule meko, khumbula ukuba amadoda ngabantwana ngendlela yabo. Ngoko ke, thetha kumyeni wangaphambili uze umchazele ukuba ungumntu obaluleke kakhulu ebomini bomntwana wakhe. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba umalume omtsha ulungile kangakanani, nguyise ohlala ehlala esondele kwaye ethandwa kakhulu. Kwakhona ukhumbuze indoda yangaphambili ukuba abantwana banamathele kwabo babathandayo, kodwa abazali bahlale behlala kuqala. Yaye xa uyise eqala ukuziphatha ngokukrakra, umntwana uyalicaka, akayiqondi into eyenzekayo kubawo kunye noko kufuneka kwenziwe ukwenzela ukuba angabi nomsindo.
Umama-utata
Kodwa yintoni omele uyenze xa uyazi ukuba indoda yangaphambili ayithandi umntwana kwaye nje akafuni ukuthetha naye. Kule meko, into kuphela ehlalayo - ukuphazamisa umntwana ekucingeni ngoPapa. Into ephambili ayikuze iphoqe kwaye icela indoda ukuba imthande umntwana wakho. Ngelishwa, ilizwi elithi "Akunakunyanzeliswa ukuba uyithande" kufanelekile kule meko. Ngoko kufuneka uzame ukulibala malunga nomyeni wakho wangaphambili kwaye wenze konke ukwenzela ukuba unyana wakho okanye intombi yakho ikhule ngaphandle kwengqiqo. Kule meko, umama kufuneka akwazi ukutshintsha uyise. Ukuba umntwana uya kubuza ukuba kutheni uyise engamthandi, kulungile ukuthetha ukuba utata uxakeke okanye ude kakhulu kwaye akakwazi ukudibana. Ukuba unako ukwenza kakuhle imisebenzi yabazali bobabini, ekugqibeleni umntwana usenokuba lula ukuba akhumbule ngobawo. Yaye xa ekhula, uya kuqonda ukuba uyise akazange amfune, ngokuba ebomini bakhe kukho unina omhle njengowe.