Ukuba umntu uzisa umfazi osondeleyo, kude kube kude

Indoda kunye nentombi yendalo ibonakala ifana, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo kwaye lihluke. Bahluke kungekuphela kwimiba yabo yangaphandle, ukungafani ngokucacileyo, kodwa nokuziphatha kwabo. Sicinga ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kunye nezenzo zethu zivandlakanywe ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ukwenza oku, kubonakala ngathi, indoda elungileyo ayimxabisiyo kwaye silahlekelwa yintoni ukuba kunjalo. Kwaye asiqondi ukuba ubona yonke into ehlukeneyo kwiiplanethi ezahlukeneyo, ukuba bayatsala omnye nomnye. Xa siqonde indlela indoda eyazi ngayo izenzo zethu, sinokuqiniseka ukuba uphumelele ubudlelwane bethu. Emva koko, siyakwazi ukuvavanya inyathelo elingaphambili kwizenzo zamadoda, ukuziphatha kwakhe, iimvakalelo zakhe ezinokwenzeka. Kodwa konke kulungile kwaye kuyasebenza xa iqhinga livela kuthi, sithatha izigqibo zokuqala, senza ezinye zezicwangciso zethu. Kuthiwani ukuba umntu wenza into engaqondakaliyo kumfazi, indlela yokuziphatha nendlela yokuyiqonda ngayo? Uyakuqonda njani ukujika kweziganeko, ukuba umntu uya kuletha umfazi osondeleyo, aze ahlasele? Yonke into engenziwanga, yonke into eyenziwa ngokwecebo elithile, icebo elithile, kukho konke kukho intsingiselo ethile efihliweyo, apho kuyimfuneko ukuyiqonda.

Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba abantu ngendlela yabo babone yonke into. Ngokomzekelo, xa ibhinqa likhala nje ngolu suku lokusebenza lukhuni kanzima, indoda ayikho ukuphulaphula ngokuthula, iqala ukunika iziphakamiso ezicwangcisekileyo njengoko acinga, ezingenakufaneleka. Okanye nangona kunjalo, xa sizama ukunceda abesetyhini, sincoma ukuba sizame ukwenza indoda ibe bhetele. Bayiqonda okuhlukile, baqala ukusaxhala, kwaye bayethusa ngenxa yokuba bebona kwiindlela zabo zokungaqondi kunye nobuthakathaka babo, bacinga ukuba babonwa njengobuthakathaka kwaye banokungaqiniseki kungekho nto abakwaziyo. Yaye ukuba indoda izisa umfazi osondeleyo, ngaba uyayisusa umdlalo okanye umphumo wokungaqondani phakathi kwamacala amabini? Oku kulufanelekile ukucingisisa.

Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba umntu uzisa umfazi osondeleyo, ngoko nje umphumo wokuzimela kwakhe. Kubantu abaqhelekileyo oku kubizwayo kwaye kufunwa kwaye kuyahlulwa. Xa sele sifinyelele kwizinga elithile okanye isigaba kwintsebenziswano, endaweni yokuya kwinto enzulu kakhulu, ukuzinzileyo, umzekelo, ukuhlala kunye, okanye ukuhlala ngokwahlukileyo kubazali, loo ndoda ivele idle. Indoda inesaba ukuthatha nayiphi na imbopheleleko kwizenzo nangezenzo, ngoko iquka ulawulo lwenkwenkwe encinci evele isinda kwingozi, kwaye xa yonke into ihleli, ubuya kwakhona. Ukuba unaloo nto, kuyafaneleka ukuba ufumane ukuba kutheni umntu ekusondeza, kwaye uyasisusa. Emva kokuqonda nokufumana ingxaki, thola oko kuphazamisa ukhetho lwakho, zama ukunyaniseka ngakumbi kumntu wakho, musa ukumdala ixesha lokwesaba, ngoko ke indoda ayiyi kuyisondela, kwaye ikude, iya kuhlala ikhona.

Kwenzeka ukuba umntu uzimisele, uhlala eyazi oko akufunayo. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza uziphatha ngokungalindelekanga njengento engokwemvelo kwimeko yakhe. Ukuba indoda izisa umninazana ngokusondeleyo, ke kufuneka uqikelele ukuba kutheni le nto akwenzayo. Kungenzeka ukuba umntu onjalo ungumdlali kwaye kuye konke okwenzekayo ebomini bakhe ngumdlalo nje. Kunokwenzeka ukuba ngeli xesha waqalisa umdlalo, umdlalo phezu kwemizwa yakho. Amadoda afana nabantwana abancinci, athanda ukuba ahlala enomdla, athanda imidlalo kwaye ubudala beemidlalo zifumana amanani aphakamileyo aphezulu. Ukuba indoda izisa umninazana, ngoko ke mhlawumbi waba nexhala, ubudlelwane nomfazi bubonakala kwinqanaba elilodwa, akukho zitshintsho ezintsha zeemeko. Ngoko ke, loo mntu uqala umdlalo wakhe. Uqala ukuthabatha umdlalo wesifazane ngenxa yoko umzuzu ofanelekileyo uyanyamalala, njengokungathi sele ushintshile kuye indima yomntu oza kuhlakulela ubudlelwane, enze into entsha. Emva kwexesha lokuhlukana, indoda iphinda ibonakale kwakhona kwaye izisa umfazi wayo kufuphi naye, ngokungathi uyamnika ukuba aqonde ukuba uyayifumana into ayifunayo, into ayilwe nayo. Oku kuziphatha komntu kunokukwenzeka ngexesha elilodwa, okanye ukuba akunakwanele, uza kuphinda amlethele umfazi kwakhona aze aphinde amde. Ukuze adlale ngokwaneleyo ngeemvakalelo zakhe, akubalulekanga, ingaba kungakanani umphumo waloo nto, kodwa ininzi kangakanani inkqubo.

Kucacile ukuba ibini nganye iimeko ezahlukeneyo zobomi kunye nobudlelwane. Ibini ngalinye lamadoda kunye nabasetyhini baneemicimbi eyahlukileyo, kwaye ukufumana ama-analog kunzima kakhulu. Abasetyhini bahlala besondela kumntu, kwaye ngoko, ngokumkhawulelana naye, bamane badlale indima yentsimbi, engayi kuhoywa kwaye ayinakuyithandi. Xa umfazi ebudlelwaneni obusondeleyo, isenzo esinjalo sithathwa nje ngokuba sitsalane nendoda, kuba abafazi bathanda ukunakwa kwabo, bathanda xa bexatyiswa. Ukuba ingqalelo ayaneleyo, ibhinqa liya kwenza konke ukuzalisa le mpahla kwaye yenze imfuneko yokuqwalasela. Ukuba umntu uzisa umninazana ohamba emkhatsini osesikweni, naye, akenzi nje. Abasetyhini baqala ukuzibuza xa ubuhlobo bobuhlobo bomntu umntu eqala, ngoko ukuzisa umfazi osondeleyo, kutheni enokwenzayo kwaye yintoni isizathu. Musa ukukhathazeka ngale nto, kuba yenziwe ukuqinisa umanyano. Ukufuduka kwindodakazi, le ndoda inexesha lokumkhumbula, ukuphosa ukufudumala kwakhe, nokusondela, uzalise konke ayenakho. Ukusondela kumfazi kwakhona, le ndoda ibanika ithuba lokuba sisondele ngakumbi. Oku kuzalisa ubudlelwane babo kunye neemvakalelo ezintsha kunye namava.

Ukuze uqonde kakuhle izenzo zendoda, kufuneka uqale uqonde uhlobo lomntu, izinga lolwalamano lwakho, ukuze uqonde ukuba kutheni umntu enza iimvume ezinjalo kulwalamano, ozama ukufezekisa. Ukuba umntu uqala ukwenza njengolu, kulungile ukuqala ukubuza ukuba yintoni engalunganga, ukufumana isizathu esicacileyo. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ubuhlobo buhlala bufanelekile ukwenza into enomtsalane, kumangaliswa omnye nomnye into entle. Kuyafaneleka ukwenza njalo ukuze umgama onjalo ungapheli ngokuphela koluhlungu ngaphandle kokuza.