Kodwa ubomi businika iziganeko zalo, kwaye, hayi, kungekhona kuxhomekeke kuthi nathi. Kwakubonakala ngathi wayengumntu wonke amaphupha amabhinqa, kufuphi nathi kwaye akuphazamisi ulonwabo. Kodwa ngezinye iinkalo zonke izinto zanyanyiswa ngokukhawuleza kwaye zikhawuleza. Ihlabathi esiyilwe ngothando kwaye silindile ekuchaseni ihlabathi langaphandle liye laphela. Siba buthathaka kwaye sisengozini. Yonke into eyayisetyenziselwa ukuyoloyisa nokuzisa, ngoku, kubonakala ngathi igugu kwaye ibuhlungu. Kuthekani kuthi ukuba loo ndoda yahlula ubuhlobo?
Xa indoda isishiya kuthi, kubonakala ngathi ukuzinza nokuzithemba kwixesha elizayo uye naye. Sizibuza imibuzo yokuba asifumani impendulo. Siyazibamba, sihlalutye imeko. Kutheni kwenzeka oku? Yayiyiphi isizathu sokuba indoda esiyikhethile yakhawuleza ichithe ubudlelwane?
Kukho iimpendulo ezininzi kwiimbuzo ezibuziweyo. Umntu wayeka ukuthanda intombazana, kodwa ukuba athathe inxaxheba ngendlela enokuba ayinakubuhlungu njengokuba kunokwenzeka. Bonke abantu abanako ukunyaniseka kubudlelwane. Yaye akuwona wonke umntu onokufumana amandla ukuze avume ukungabikho kwemvakalelo. Abaninzi bakhetha "ukuphela." Yinto elula. Emva kwakho konke, ukuvuma ukuba awusayi kuphinda uvale kwaye ufuna ukutshatyalaliswa, kuthetha ukuba uyavuma ukuba unetyala, oko kukuthi, akunjalo, oko kukuthi, ulungile. Oku kunzima kubantu abaninzi, ngakumbi amadoda. Ngaloo ndlela, amadoda ashintshe uxanduva malunga neengcambu kubafazi besithemba ekugqibeleni baya kuqonda yonke into ngokwabo.
Esinye isizathu sokuba umntu aphelise ngokukhawuleza ulwalamano lulandelayo: ngokukhawuleza xa umntu efezekisa into ayifunayo kumfazi, uya kuba engathandekiyo. Ngokwemvelo banqwenela ukukhuphisana, banqobe umntu, baqinisekise ubungcono babo. Yaye, ukuba zonke ezi ngasentla zilahlekile kulwalamano lwakho, qiniseka ukuba umntu wakho uya kuphelelwa ngumdla kuwe ngokukhawuleza aze afune ukukhangela into entsha yokuwunqoba. Yaye ungakhathazeki ukuba umntu wahlukana nawe.
Isizathu sokunqunyulwa kobudlelwane nabo sinokubangela ukwesaba izibophelelo kulwalamano. Akuyena wonke umntu olungele "ukuxhamla" kumfazi, ngenxa yokuba awufuni ukulahlekelwa ithuba lokuhlangana nabanye, njengoko abahlobo abasandulanayo kuyindlela efanelekileyo yokuzibonakalisa wena kunye nabanye ukuba umkhwa womntu awukho umda.
I-Hysteria, i-ultimatums ayincedisi indoda ukuba ihlale isondelene nomfazi, kodwa kunoko, ngokuchaseneyo, yikrokre kwaye ikhuphe umphefumlo wakho. Ukongezelela, le nyathelo ibonakala ngathi umntu uzama ukulawula ngokupheleleyo imeko.
Kodwa, ukuze kungenzeki ngobudlelwane bakho, nayiphi na isizathu esekelwe njengekhefu kulwalamano lwakho, khumbula ukuba ungumfazi oyedwa kuphela. Ungazivali, ufumane imeko ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Asisoloko sinalo ixesha lokuba sizenzele. Mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uzenzele ingqwalasela encinane kunokuba siyenza imihla ngemihla. Yintoni omele uyenze ukuba umntu aphelise ngokukhawuleza ulwalamano?
Okokuqala, uqeqesho oluncinci lwemihla ngemihla luya kunceda ukulahla iingcamango ezingalunganga kwaye wenze umzimba unqine ukuxinezeleka, apho ukhona.
Okwesibini, ungagxininisi imvakalelo, vumela uvumeleke ngezinye izikhathi ukukhala nokulila. Emva koko, njengoko iingqondo zengqondo zibonakalise, iimvakalelo ezingabonakaliyo zixinzezela ubomi bethu. Kodwa, uthabatha, kwaye akufanelekanga. Kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba kuyinto enomdla kakhulu abantu ukuba banxibelelane kunye nomnxibelelwano ongcono, kunokuba kubekho uqobo.
Okwesithathu, ungathathi iiyure ezifunekayo zokulala. Iingcaphephe zincoma ukulala iiyure ezingama-7-8 ngosuku. Ukuba unesifo sokulala, ngaphambi kokuba ulale, uhambe okanye uphuze ingilazi yobisi olufudumeleyo.
Okwesine, kufuneka ufunde ukucinga kakuhle. Cinga ngezo zinto okanye iziganeko ezikuvuyisa kakhulu. Thatha ixesha, iimfuno zakho kunye nemihlali. Kukho ubuhle obuninzi kwaye bubuza emhlabeni.
Kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, ukuba ufuna ukulibala indoda enye, fumana enye.