Iingcali zengqondo zineengcamango ezininzi kwiimeko ezinjalo:
- Umntu akazange aqonde imfihlelo yobudlelwano obuphumelelayo. Kukho izizathu ezininzi zezi zinto: ukuxhatshazwa kwabangaphambili, uthando lwabazali, njl. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umphefumlo udinga uthando, kwaye kwenye - ayikho ingcamango yokuba kufuneka yakhiwe. Ngoko ke, umfazi ufumana into engenakufikeleleka, ongayiphupha ngayo kwaye ungakheli nayiphi na ubudlelwane.
- Ukoyika uxanduva. Umfazi uzama ukusinda ebuhlotsheni, kuba uyesaba uxanduva, oluya kulala ngamagxa akhe athathaka.
- Uloyiko lokushiywa. Emva kokuba sele ufumene intlungu yokuphula ulwalamano, kunzima ukuba umfazi aphinde avule intliziyo yakhe indoda.
- Isifiso sokuba njengomntu wonke. Abahlobo baxelelana ngamabali axhulumene nobomi babo bomntu obonwabileyo. Kuba umfazi olahlwe yinto enjalo, ukuzakhela into engenakufikeleleka - ithuba lokuziqhayisa ngobomi bomntu, eqinisweni, uyanqandwa.
Ngoko, yiziphi izinto ezintle ezinokuthi zingabonakali uthando :
- Unako ukuva iimvakalelo eziphakamileyo, kwaye oku kungenanto kwihlabathi lanamhlanje;
- Uthando olungavumelekanga luyakunceda uqonde oko ulindelayo kumthanda;
- Ayikho imfihlo yokuba uthando lwenza "umfazi" akhanye. Uvuyo ebusweni bakho luya kuphawulwa ngabanye abantu;
- Uthando lukhuthazo olunamandla lokuziphucula ngokomoya nangokomoya. Ukuphuculwa komzimba kubandakanya umsebenzi kumzimba, kunye nophuhliso lokudala ngokomoya (izinkondlo zokubhala, ukupheka izitsha ezintsha ezidliwayo, njl.);
- Amava okubangelwa ukungabikho kokuphindaphindiweyo, negalelo ekulahlekelweni kwesisindo esiphuthumayo;
- Ngaphambili, ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva, ulindele intlanganiso kunye nomnye kuphela ongakwazi ukuhlala kwindawo ebalulekileyo ebomini bakho.
- Kuyavuya ukuqaphela ukuba umthandayo unempilo kwaye uyonwabile, nangona kungenakubudlelwane nawe;
- Intloko yakho ayinayo ingcinga rhoqo malunga nomntu othandayo, ngoko kukho ixesha lokujongana nemibuzo yomsebenzi kwaye ubonise umntu ongenakwenzekayo ngenye impazamo eyenziwe ngaphandle kokukunxusa;
- Awudingi ukujonga iindlela zokulungelelanisa neemfuno kunye neenkwenkwezi zomntu othandekayo kwaye unobandezeleka obukhulu;
- Unako ukuya kuyo yonke imisebenzi oyifunayo kwaye ungagcini iintlanganiso kunye nabahlobo;
- Akukho mfuneko yokunciphisa ukudlala ngothando nabantu. Oku kunemiphumo emihle kwimpilo yabasetyhini;
- Ukuba kunzima ukulala, unokuhlala uphupha ngento yeminqweno yakho, ngokukodwa malunga nokuba ubuhlobo bakho obuhle buqala njani kwaye buphuhlise. Amaphupha anceda umfazi uvuyiswe yintoni ebomini bokwenene kunokwenzeka ukuba akunakwenzeka;
- Le meko iya kukuvumela ukuba ufunde indlela yokuthanda ngaphandle komnqweno wokufumana into ngokubuyisela, kodwa ngenxa yokuba umntu omthandayo usekufuphi;
- Mhlawumbi uthando olungathandabuzekiyo lunokushukumisela ukuba utshintshe utshintsho nokuziphatha okuza kuxhamla ulwalamano oluzayo.