Amadoda amaninzi asekhulile anjengama-nymphets aneminyaka elishumi elinesine elinesihlanu. Wonke umntu uyakhuthaza ngendlela yabo, kodwa bavumelana enye: amantombazana amancinci, amnandi kwaye akakhohlisi.
Ubudlelwane phakathi kwentombazana kunye nomntu omdala kulukhuni kunokuba usebenze nabantwana abaneminyaka elilodwa. Yintoni onokuyilindela kulwalamano olunjalo? Kakade, enye yezona ndlela eziqhelekileyo kukuzonwabisa. Ewe, akukrakra ukuqonda oku, kodwa kubafana, la ma ntombazana ayimathoyizi nje. Ixhoba elilula. Basasazi yonke into ebomini yobomi, babona yonke into ngeiglasi ezikhanyayo kwaye bakholelwa phantse onke amagama. Kulula kakhulu ukuba intombazana leyo "ibele" kwaye iphumelele kuyo yonke into ayifunayo kwiintsuku nje ezimbalwa. Kwaye maxa wambi abantu bafuna ukuzonwabisa, ngokukodwa ngaphandle kokuxhamla. Ngoko bakhetha amantombazana angenakuthobeka kwaye bafaka iminqweno yabo ibe yinyaniso.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuya kwenzeka nokuba loo mntu uyawa thandana. Ucinga ukuba yonke into ibaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa, ngelishwa, oku akuhlali ixesha elide. Sekunjalo, umehluko kwiminyaka udlala indima enkulu. Ewe, okokuqala kulungile, ukuphulaphula iintetho kunye neengxoxo. Kodwa, ngokuhamba kwexesha, iqala ukucaphukisa. Ukwahlukana kweeminyaka esixhenxe ukuya kweyesibhozo kule minyaka kunzima kakhulu. Nangona intombazana ihlakaniphile ngaphezu kweminyaka yayo kwaye ifundwa kakuhle, usenomntwana. Le ntombazana inokukhupha imigaqo, catshulwa uSchopenhauer noSappho, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo bakholelwa kwizinto apho abantu abadala abadala bangela ukuhleka. Ukongezelela, xa uneminyaka engaphezu kwama-20, amadoda aqala ukucinga ngobudlelwane obukhulu, kwaye loo nto mbazana ayifanelekanga ngenxa yobudala bayo. Baqala ukuhlala, ngoko bafuna ukubona yonke into, bafunde yonke into, bahambe yonke indawo. Kwaye umntu sele efuna uhlobo oluthile lozinzo. Xa eqala ukuchazela oku kwintsiphelo, ngokuthe rhoqo, intombazana iyayiqonda yonke into enobundlobongela, imangalela into ethandekayo yokuba ngumnini kwaye ingamvumeli ukuba aphile.
Ukongezelela, izizukulwana ezahlukeneyo zinomdla ohluke ngokupheleleyo. Kwihlabathi lanamhlanje, kwahluke iminyaka emine. Ihlabathi liyatshintsha kwaye ikhula ngokukhawuleza. Isizukulwana ngasinye siphila, njengokungathi ngexesha layo kwaye asisoloko siqonde abantu abavela kwamanye amaxesha. Nangona bobabini intombazana kunye nentombazana bezama ukuzilungelelana, ngokuqhelekileyo, kubakho ubudlova obuqhelekileyo phezu komntu. Ekugqibeleni, konke kuphelela kwi-scandals kwaye kuphelile. Emva koko, bobabini babandezeleka.
Abaqhelekileyo abafana bethanda ukwenza umfazi wakhe onobuqili nokuqonda ngokwaneleyo. Kwaye, akukho gwenxa kumantombazana amantombazana aqala ukuhlala, ubulumko bawo buqala ukuvela. Zonke ezi zinto zikhokelela kwimpikiswano, iingxabano kunye nokungaqondani.
Yingakho, bafana, bahlala begqiba ukukhetha inxaxheba. Ngokuqinisekileyo, esi sigqibo asikwabelwanga ngaso sonke isahlulo sesibini. Imibuzo ivela: yintoni ephosakeleyo kum, ndiyintoni into embi ngayo, kutheni engithandiyo? Ingcaciso engqiqweni kwimeko ayifumanekanga kwaye iyamkelwa. Vumelana, ngokuba wonke umntu oneminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu okanye elishumi elinesibhozo ubudala ubudala wayebonakala ekhulile, ehlakaniphile kwaye ekulungele ukuba ngumdala. Kuphela emva kokuphelelwa kweeminyaka sibona indlela encinci kunye neengxaki ngelo xesha.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, wonke umntu unelungelo lokukhetha ukuba ngubani na onokuthanda. Kodwa ke amantombazana athathaka kakhulu kunobungcono ukubophelelana ubudlelwane kunye noontanga okanye abafana, abadala iminyaka emibini. Kule meko, baya kuba nobuninzi obuninzi kwaye baninzi bahambelane neminqweno kunye nezinto ezibalulekileyo zokuphila.
Ngokwemvelo, sinokuthi ungeke ulandele intliziyo yakho. Kodwa kulo mzekelo kungcono ukucinga ukuba uzimisele kangakanani ukuthatha ingozi, uqaphela ukuba kwiimeko ezininzi ezi ntlobano ziya kugqitywa ngexesha lokuphuka. Ngaba kukufanelekile ukuba ube neentlungu zokuhlukana, ukuba iimvakalelo zinokucinywa, zize zivutha ngamandla.
Ewe, kuyahluke gqitha xa intombazana ingaphezu kwemashumi mabini, kwaye umfana u malunga namashumi amathathu. Kulo nyaka, umahluko uncinci. Into kukuba abafazi baqala ukucinga malunga nosapho kunye nobudlelwane obunzulu ngaphambili, kwaye abafana bafika kwesi sigqibo ngokumalunga namashumi amathathu. Kungenxa yoko, ubudlelwane babo buzinzile, ngenxa yokuqonda kunye kunye neenjongo ezifanayo. Kulo nyaka, ibhinqa isele ikwazi ukuqonda nokuxhasa umntu, kwaye yena, uya kuba nako ukukhusela nokubonelela. Ukongezelela, xa abantu begqithisa isigaba sobuncinci bobuncinci, bayayilahla iminqweno emininzi yentsholongwane, ukungabikho kwezinto ezingakhokelela kwiingxabano. Yaye yile ndlela eyenzeka ngayo emncinane. Isiqabane sinokuxabana ngoma ingoma, i-movie okanye ubudlelwane kunye nendawo encinane. Kwaye, ingxabano iya kuba yingozi kakhulu kwaye akukho mntu uya kufuna ukuyivuma. Abantu abadala abadala bayaqonda ukuba inkcazo kunye nombala wee-markers zihlukile, yingakho wonke umntu kufuneka ahlale nje ngoluvo lwakhe. Lo mzekelo wincinci nje encinci yezinto ezinokubangela iingxaki kwizibini ezitshatileyo apho umntu sele sele engaphezu kwemashumi mabini, kwaye intombazana ayizange iphumelele esikolweni.
Enyanisweni, kuyo yonke imigaqo kukho ngaphandle. Yingakho maxa wambi amaqabane abonwabileyo. Ukuba sithetha nge-psychology yobudlelwane obunjalo, ngoko, ngokuqhelekileyo umfana uthanda nje ukuba ngumfundisi, uhlobo lobawo othandekayo lwakhe. Kukho uluhlu lwamadoda anqwenela ukugqiba yonke into ngokwabo kwaye achukumiswa ngabantwana kunye neengqungquthela zabathandekayo. Kodwa kunjalo amadoda anjalo ayingcinci. Ngokukodwa, kungekudala okanye kamva, wonke umntu ufuna ukuba unomthandayo uyamnyamekela, amncede aze amxhase kwiimeko ezinzima. Ngelishwa, intombazana eneminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu ayinakukwazi ukuyinikela yona. Yingakho iintliziyo zeentombi zeentombi ziphukile, ngaphandle kokuqonda ingxaki. Kwaye emva kobudlelwane obunjalo emphefumlweni, kaninzi, kukho izikrakra.
Ulwalamano oluhle luvisisana neengcamango, ukuthanda, iiminqweno, izinto eziphambili kunye neenjongo. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwentombazana kunye nomntu omdala, ngelanga, akakwazi ukuziqhayisa ngobukho bazo zonke izixhobo. Yingakho zonke iintombi zimele zicinge ngaphambi kokuba zithandane nendoda endala.