Xa simthanda umntu, kubonakala ngathi lo mntu yinto efunekayo ebomini. Emva kwakhe ndifuna ukudala, ndifuna ukufikelela ezintabeni eziphakamileyo, uvele wandenze ukuba ndive kwaye ndive ngezulu lesikhombisa ngonwabile. Kodwa xa umntu obathandayo engazange ajikeleze, ngoko imibala iphela, kwaye yonke into ibonakala ingenandi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ithonya elinjalo luthando luyakhawuleza, kuba linyanzelisa into ukuba ifike kwaye ivuyiswe. Kodwa ngakwelinye icala, ngaba oku kuqhelekileyo, xa umthandayo ephendukela kwintsimi yobomi kwaye ngaphandle kwayo awufuni nto?
Ukuxhomekeka komthando
Xa umntu evakalelwa kwintlalo yolonwabo nolonwabo kuphela kwintando yakhe, uba njengomlutha weziyobisi ofumana umthamo kwaye uzive evakalelwa. Kodwa xa isenzo sesigqirha sidlula, akanakuziva kakuhle kwaye uhlala kuphela ngumnqweno wokufumana elinye idosi. Ngoko ke, umntu akanakutsho ukuthi uthando, apho intanda ethandekayo liba liphela hlabathi, liqhelekile. Olu thando luba ngumlutha. Ukufumana iimvakalelo ezinjalo zomntu kulula ukufunda. Uvuyayo kwaye uyonwabile kuphela xa ivakalelo zakhe zisondele. Xa umntu othandekayo okanye othandekayo eshiya, uvakalelwa ngokukhawuleza, kwaye uyaba nomdla. Abanye abantu abonwabayo bathandekayo intsingiselo yobomi, zama ukumgcina esondelene kunye kwaye baholele ngokwabo, ukuba abanako. Abanye, ngokuchaseneyo, banikezela indawo yabo kwaye bangazenzeli nantoni na, kodwa basenokungabi namdla nokungafuni ukwenza into xa kungekho mntu ungasondeli. Kwimeko yokuqala, olo thando luzisa umonakalo kwisiqingatha sesibini, kwaye okwesibini - kuphela kumntu okhutshiwe. Kodwa ke, le ntliziyo ayiqhelekanga. Inyaniso kukuba ikhokelela ekubhujisweni kobuntu. Ukuva uvuyo oluzayo emva kwabathandekayo, umntu ngokukhawuleza unqumle ukuziva uvakalelo olufanayo, ukuthetha nabahlobo, ukwenza into ayeyithandayo, njalonjalo.
Injongo yobomi kufuneka ihluke
Ukufunda oku ngasentla, umntu unokucinga ukuba iimvakalelo ezinjalo-zibi. Okokuthi, umntu akanakuthandwa ngumntu onentliziyo yakhe yonke. Enyanisweni, isigwebo esinjalo siyiphutha. Unokuhlala uthanda ngokunyanisekileyo nangenene, kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuba ukhula umntu kunye nobomi bakho. Abaninzi, bebona uthando lomntu ngentsingiselo yobomi, bayeka ukuzicingela. Benza konke ukukwenza okulungileyo kwaye "bachithe" kuphela kwiminqweno kunye neemfuno zabo. Oku kulungile. Okokuqala, ngokuziphatha okunjalo uthanda umhlobo wakho, kwaye oku, kungekudala okanye kamva, kuya kukhokelela ekubeni uya kuqala ukusebenzisa ukungaziphathi kwakho. Kanjalo umntu makangayikhohlwa ukuba umntu uyamthanda kuphela umntu onomntu ocinga ngayo kunye neminqweno yakhe. xa umntu eba yintsikelelo yobomi, abantu bayalibala ngokupheleleyo.
Abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba kulungile kwaye kulungile ukumthanda umntu kangangokuba ubomi bakhe bubaluleke ngakumbi kunabo. Kodwa inyaniso ye-nasamom, oku kuthetha kuphela ukuba ubomi bakhe bokuba ngumntu ongenalwazi kwaye engathandekiyo. Akuboni nantoni na kuyo eya kumenza anentshisekelo kuye, kunye neminqweno namaphupha akhe. Ngoko ke, ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umntu uba ngumbono wobomi, kufuneka uqikelele ngento engalunganga ngayo. Khumbula ukuba ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo buyonakalisa inkululeko yesenzo kunye neminqweno yamabini amaqabane. Oko kukuthi, ngaphandle komntu omthandayo, kufuneka ube nantoni na into egcina wena kweli hlabathi. Ingaba intsapho, abahlobo, umsebenzi ozithandayo. Ukuba akukho nto enjalo ebomini, ngoko ihamba ngendlela engafanelekanga. Kwaye ngenxa yoko, umntu obona kwelinye intsingiselo yobomi, uqala ukunyanzela kuye aze afune ulwalamano olunjalo. Kodwa ukuba okwesibini inomdla kunomthandi, akanako ukunika oko akufunayo. Kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo. Kodwa, ngelishwa, umntu oxhomekeke kuye akakwamkeli ilungiselelo lezinto, kwaye oku kuqhubeka kukhokelela kwiingxaki kunye neengxaki zobudlelwane.
Indlela yokwenza ngokuchanekileyo?
Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umntu obathandayo ube yintsingiselo yakho yobomi, ngoko kufuneka uguqule into kuloo nto. Ngaphandle koko, isimo sakho sengqondo asiyi kubakho nantoni na. Kufuneka nje uthi akufuneki ukuba unikezele iimvakalelo zakho. Unakho kwaye umele umthande umntu ngokuqinisekileyo. Nanku umbuzo womnye. Kule meko, kufuneka nje usebenze ngokwakho kwaye wandise i-horizons yakho. Okokuqala, kuya kuba nzima ukwenza, kuba kunokubonakala ngathi ngaphandle komntu othandekayo, yonke into ayinakuchukumisa kwaye iyimfuneko. Kodwa apha kufuneka uzinqobe. Kule meko, soloko ukhumbuza ukuba ukwenza ubomi bakho bunomdla ngakumbi, ubuchaphazela kakuhle ubuhlobo bakho. Ndiyabulela ukuba unobungozi kwimicimbi yabo okanye uxoxe nabahlobo, umthandayo unokuphumla kancane kuwe. Kwaye oku kuyimfuneko kubo bonke abantu, nangona ethanda kakhulu umntu. Akukho mntu unokuchitha iiyure ezingamashumi amabini anesine ngosuku nomnye umntu. Ukuba yonke into eyenzeka ngale ndlela, ngoko abantu baxhalabisana omnye nomnye, bacaphukisa, kwaye oku kuqala ukuphelisa imizwa. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufuna ukuba lolo thando luvutha ngonaphakade, kungekhona entliziyweni yakho kuphela, kodwa entliziyweni yomntu oyintanda-fundela ukuphila ubomi bakho. Unokuthathwa ngento ethile, ubuncinane ngokudlala ibhola yebhokisi, nangokuba ubenqumla amabheki. Unokuhamba kunye nabahlobo uze uchithe ixesha kunye nosapho lwakho. Kodwa ukwenzela ukuba wenze oku, kufuneka ujabulele esi sifundo, kwaye ungayifumani njengobuncwane besigwebo, ulinde intlanganiso kunye nomthandayo. Kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuvuya ukuba kukho apha nangoku, nangona kweso sihlandlo othandekayo akakho. Ukuba ufunde ukufumana inxanxu yangempela kwenye into ngaphandle kokuthetha kunye nokuchitha ixesha kunye nomthandayo, unokuyeka ukubona intsingiselo yobomi kuphela kuyo. Kwaye nangona okokuqala kubonakala ngathi kunzima kwaye akunakwenzeka, kungekudala uza kuziva ukuba yonke into iyahluke ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa ungazivumeli ukuba ujabule nantoni na ngaphandle kwezinto ozithandayo. Abaninzi abasetyhini ngesizathu esithile bazive benetyala xa beqala ukufumana uvuyo lokwabelana nabanye abantu okanye izinto ezithandekayo. Oku kungalunganga ngokukodwa. Okungeyikrakra okanye ehlazo kukuba uyavuya nakweyiphi into ngaphandle komthandayo. Ngokuphambene noko, oku kuchanekileyo kwaye kukukwenza ube ngumntu ophilayo nohlukileyo. Kwaye iimfuno kunye nemihlali yakho ayinakuyithintela ekuthandeni kwakho konke. Ngokuphambene noko, bancedisa ukuba bafikelele kumgangatho omtsha. Ngoko ungaze ube sisisiphukuphuku ngenxa yezinto eziyathayi kwaye ungazami ukuzivimbela ukuba uzive okoqhelekileyo kumntu wonke.
Xa simthanda umntu ngaphambi kokuzilibala - le yona mvakalelo enamandla kunokuba unako. Kodwa ukuba olu luthando lugqithisa yonke imvakalelo, ngoko kufuneka ufunde indlela yokulawula encinane. Khumbula ukuba ebomini, umntu kufuneka abe neenjongo kunye neminqweno. Uthando lunye kubo, kodwa alukho kuphela.