Yintoni okufanele ibe yintando yomzali?

Yintoni uthando lwabazali? Oku kukuva ukuba unina noyise batyalomali kumntwana babo ubomi babo bonke. Akusikho into yokuba abazali bahlala bethetha: "Kuba mna, uya kuba ngumntwana!" Kodwa kwiintsapho zonke olu luthando luqondwa ngokuhlukileyo, bobabini kunye nabazali. Ngoko, ngokwenene, yintoni emele ibe yintando yomzali kubantwana?

Uthando lwabazali luyindlela ephakamileyo yemfundo yothando kubantwana abasuka kummelwane, kwendalo, kuyo yonke into ejikeleze.

Kukho iindlela zeengqondo zokufunda iimvakalelo zabazali. Into ebalulekileyo yale ndlela yokufunda kukuba uthando lwabazali luqala kunye nokuphela kobudlelwane beentsapho, kunye nomphumo wazo zonke iimvakalelo zomtshato. Njengokuba ngamnye umntu ngokwakhe, njengokuba ubudlelwane bomntu ngamnye bomnye nomnye, ubudlelwane nomntwana nabo abuyinto elula. Kumntwana wakho, sinokuyithanda ukubonakalisa kwethu, ukuphindaphinda komntu omthandayo, okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukufana nomntu ongekho nto. Umntwana uvakalelwa kukuba uthando lwabazali bakhe ukususela ebusweni, kwaye uluthabathe ubisi lomama. Abantwana kufuneka babonise uthando lwabo rhoqo emzimbeni nasekuziphatheni. Bamele bazive baze baqonde ukuba bathandwa. Amanye amagama "Andikuthandi ngokwaneleyo."

Ewe, namhlanje kunzima kakhulu ukuqonda abantwana bethu, kodwa lo ngumsebenzi obalulekileyo ebomini bethu bonke. Kwaye xa ubeka ingqalelo kuyo, ngakumbi uya kujikelezwa luthando kwixesha elizayo kunye nalabo abakujikelezile.

Ukuba umntwana ufumana umlinganiselo ofanelekileyo wothando lomzali, uya kuzihlonela yena kunye nabo abasondelene naye, baya kuhamba nzima ebomini baze badlulise le mvakalelo kwizizukulwana eziphumelelayo.

Kukho iimeko xa kubonakala ngathi akubaluleke nakakhulu ukuba umntwana ngaloo nto ubonakale entlekele yobomi bakhe bonke. Kule meko, umntwana uzama ukusifumana, kuba uyazi ukuba abazali bayayixhasa kwaye bayayiqonda, nto leyo ibe yintando.

Abaninzi bayaphambuka xa umntwana egcinwe ngamandla, esithi "uyakoyika - uhlonipha." Oku akufanele kwenziwe nakweyiphi na imeko. Ukhula kancinci kumntwana onobugwenxa, onokuwukhupha esele ekhulile, kubantwana bakhe, kumlingane okanye kumfazi. Yaye akayi kukuthanda, uya kuba noloyiko.

U-Ross Campbell, umntu oye wafunda ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantwana nabazali ecebisa, ukufumana ixesha lokuthinta umzimba ngokuphindaphindiweyo xa utsho utshintshe okanye uhlambe umntwana. ngenxa yesidingo.

Ukubetha umntwana entloko, yichukumise ngendlela enobungakanani kwifayili, finyelwa ipeni yakhe - oku kuya kuba yimpendulo enokwenene kumbuzo othi: "Yintoni enokuthandwa yintando yomzali." Ama-Touchings athatha ulwazi oluninzi, umzekelo, ngokuthintela, sinokubonisa ukuchaswa, ukucaphuka, ukunyamekela, inzondo kunye nenkalo yothando.

Uthando lwabazali, indlela ephakamileyo yemfundo yothando kubantwana ikhuthazwa yinkalo, indlela abayifumana ngayo uthando lomntwana kunye nobungakanani obaneleyo. Nangona abantu abaninzi abazange bazi ubomi babo zabazali ebomini, bajamelane nokukhuliswa kwabantwana kwaye batyala imali kubo ukuba bafuna ukuthini.

Ubugcisa bokukhuthaza uthando kubantwana kukutshala imali kumntwana, kungekhona into esiyifunayo, ngokufanelekileyo nangokuthandayo, kodwa oko bafuna kunye noko bafuna.

Ngethuba lethu, ubomi buguquka ngejubane elivuthayo, amaqabunga endala, kwaye endaweni yalo kuza yonke into entsha. Oku kusebenza kwiindlela eziphambili zokukhulisa abantwana-uthando. Ukuba ngaphambili abantwana bebazi igama "kuyimfuneko", ngoku sele ithatyathelwe ngamagama athi "masizame, iyakwazi ukusebenza". Kwaye oku kuvela kwintando engaphezulu kwintsapho. Njengoko kungabikho uthando, kwaye ukugqithisa kwayo kubangele inani lezinto ezinokumthintela umntwana kwimpilo kamva. Xa umntwana evunyelwe yonke into, kwaye ngoko abanye abazali babonisa uthando lwabo, kuba yintlondi, ehlabathini kuye akukho mntu ukhona. Uziphakamisa ngaphezu kwabazali bakhe, kwaye uyabaphatha njengendoda engumlingo ozalisekisa yonke iminqweno yakhe. Kodwa le ngxowankulu inokuthi ilahlekelwe yinto enye, kwaye yinto eyoyikekayo iyayiqala. Abantwana abanjalo abanalo abahlobo, kwaye ukuba ngaba ngabahlobo kuphela ngenxa yeenzuzo ezithile. Ubomi babo kuya kuba nzima ukuba bahlalise. Abaninzi bafuna inkxaso kwiinkampani ezimbi, apho abanye abangakhathaleli ngobugovu okanye kungekhona. Yilapho abazali beqala ukubuza imibuzo "kutheni", "kwaye ngenxa yintoni, kuba sonke singuye." Kwaye ingxaki kuphela kubazali ngokwabo.

Abantwana abayi-porridge, enokukwazi ukuyiphatha ngeoli. Imfundo kufuneka icaciswe ngokucacileyo njengothando lobunzima, bobabini abathandekayo nabathintekayo. Kodwa into ephambili kufuneka uyive xa umntwana efuna uncedo, kwaye xa ufuna ukufuna. Kwaye kufuneka ube ngowokuqala ukuza kuhlangula kwaye unike iingcebiso okanye ngokuphambene nokubeka yonke indawo kwindawo yayo kwaye ufuna iimfuno. Musa nje ukuyithwala!

Akumangalisi bathi "Abantwana ziintyatyambo zobomi"! Emva koko, iintyatyambo nazo zibangele iimvakalelo ezintle kubantu - caress, tenderness, uvuyo. Kwaye xa ebomini bethu kubakho umzuzu obalulekileyo njengokuba kuzalwa komntwana-sonke sifanele siqonde ukuba le ntyatyambo encinci ezalisa yonke intsimi yeentyatyambo, kunye nokuba ikhonkco kwinqwelo yethu yoluntu esizifundisayo. Ngako oko, uthando lwangempela nolunzulu ngumzali, njengoko siza kubonelela kubantwana bethu, ngoko kuya kukhankanya, ukuzalisa zonke izithuba ezisijikelezayo.