Le meko iyancipha kwaye ukuqonda ukuba inkosikazi ifikile kuyo yonke into ilungile, kuba yayingenakuqeshisa iplati kunye nendoda ngexesha abo babini bebafundi, belahlekelwe kwinqanaba leentsimbi xa umyeni wakhe efumana ipenny, akazange enze i sandwich ukuze asebenze ngexesha Othandekayo wayenayo imali eyaneleyo yokutya kwasemini kwigumbi lokudlela okanye i-cafe. Wafika nendoda eyayinyuswe ngumyeni wayo iminyaka. Kwaye ukuba akayithanga, wathatha inzame yokuzama ukutshabalalisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo.
Ekuqalekeni, loo mfazi ufanelwe ukugwetywa. Kodwa ke uyavuya kwaye unelisekile ngolu hlobo? Kwaye kukufanelekile ukucinga ukuba emva kokuba ufezekise injongo, ngaba ufumene into efanelekileyo? Mhlawumbi akufanele agwetyelwe, kwaye loo ntokazi inelungelo lokuba novelwano?
Akukho mntu oza kuthetha ukuba kungekuphela nje imikhosi yentsapho evelisa umva wolonwabo ngamnye umfazi owufuna. Uvuyo lufanele lubonakalise nezinto ezincinci. Kwaye kuphawula ukuba akuyiyo inkosikazi ukuba umntu uya kuxubusha impumelelo yonyana wakhe kwimincintiswano eqhelekileyo, akayi kuza kubelana novuyo kunye nosizi naye, akuyi kuba naye ukugubha uNyaka omtsha kunye nezinye iholide ezibalulekileyo.
Ukuba njani kwimiba enjalo kwaye yintoni omele ukwenze xa uvakalelwa kukuba uyathandana nommeli onomtshato osisigxina somntu? Kukho ukhetho oluninzi oluya kuxoxwa emva koko.
Indoda ekhongayo yinto
Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba indoda ifihla kwiqabane elitsha elitshatileyo. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza ukuba ufunde inyaniso enenzondelelo, ungavumeli ukuhlakulela ubudlelwane, ubenqume kwi-bud, ukushiya loo mntu kuphela indima yomhlobo okanye umlingane naye. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kulula ukuthetha kunokusenza kwaye akukho mfazi omnye owile umgibe onjalo, ekholelwa ukuba ukudlala ngothando okanye ixesha lesini ngesinye isikhathi akuyi kubangelwa.
Yindlela enokungakhathaliyo ekhokelela kwiingxaki ezinzulu: ibhinqa lithandana nendoda esatshatileyo, iyayiqonda ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe ziyinyani, kodwa akayikuxhomekeka ekuhambelaneni, kungabi yedwa ukwakha intsapho.
Ukuze ungangeni kumnatha, kukulungele ukugqiba ngokukhawuleza ukuba nakweyiphi na, kunye nemidlalo engenakonakalisa ingabandakanyeka. Ukuba awukwazi ukuzibamba xa ubona umntu obathandayo, kungcono ukuphepha iimeko ezinje apho iindlela zakho zidibanisa. Yaye ke, akukho mvalo, u kisses kunye nezinye iinceba. Ekuqaleni kwesi sigqibo senziwe, ngokukhawuleza kuya kuba ukuxhomekeka kokuxhomekeka.
Siphumela ngaphandle kwesitimela esigijimayo
Uzibandakanye ebuhlotsheni kunye ne "zhenatik", babesazi ukuba nangona maxa wambi uthabatha, kodwa ukuqonda ukuba imeko iimeko ezinokuzinzakala. Uphando olwenziwa ngabaphengululi beengqondo lubonise ukuba iinyanga ezimbini ukuya kweenyanga zanele ukunquma umntu kwaye zifumene ukuba ulungele ukushiya intsapho. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba umthandi unelisekile kwimeko apho unomfazi kunye nomthandi, ngenxa yeenyanga ezimbalwa ezinikezelwe zona, awuyi kuba nexesha lokuba unamathele kumntu, ukuba ikhefu liya kuzisa ubuncinane ubunzima.
Amadoda athile kakhulu kwiimeko: ziphantse zilungele ngethuba lomhlangano wokuqala ukuzimisela ngokwawo, inkosikazi ingaba ngumfazi kwixesha elizayo. Umsebenzi wekosikazi efanayo kule meko kukukrazula iinjongo zomntu.
Ukuziqhelanisa kubonisa ukuba xa ungakulungele ukuchitha ubomi bakho kwiindawo zakho eziphathekayo, kuya kuba buhlungu kakhulu ukuqokelela kanye ngokunyanzela nokuyeka ubudlelwane obunzima kakhulu. Ngamanye amaxesha kuya kufuneka kube nzima ngokwaneleyo, kuba ngamanye amaxesha amadoda akafuni ukuyeka nje kwaye alungele ukulwa nomthandi omhle.
Uyamthanda? Ulwa!
Abasetyhini abakholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba umfazi womthandi uhleli ngumfazi we-mugger, kangangokude uye wayibaleka ukuba yintoni isondo kunye nomfazi wakhe, ukuba abantwana bayamchasa kodwa umfazi akamvumeli ukuba ahambe naye, kodwa ngenxa yomtshato uya kufuneka uhlawule yonke loo propati, into yokuqala okufuneka uyiqonde, ukuba loo mntu, mhlawumbi, uxoki. Ukuba ulungele ukunyamezela, unokuqala ukulwa nolonwabo.
Iingcali zeengqondo kule ngcebiso zikhuthaza ukuba zingabi nethemba ngokuphathelele kwisiphumo esihle, kodwa ke abo banqwenela ukujoyina imfazwe kubathandekayo baya kuba nako ukudala umoya okhululekileyo endlwini, ukuvuyela umnqweno omncinci womntu ukuba bancede ngandlela-thile, bawamkele ngokuzithandela izipho ezincinci njengebhokisi lebhanki yeekesekese. Kukwafanelekile ukuba ugweme nayiphi na inkulumo malunga nomlingane osemthethweni, ngoko ukuba akanalo umnqweno wokulingana nawe. Kufuneka uphuphe embhedeni. Kwaye ekugqibeleni uza kufuneka udlale umcimbi apho, ukuphula izandla ngokugqithiseleyo, uya kubeka phambili i-ultimatum yakho oyintandokazi: uze nezinto zeveki okanye ngaphezulu ungafiki nhlobo. Qonda ukuba xa kwenzeka umphumo omuhle, uya kuba ngumfazi wakhe. Yaye le yimeko apho akuyiyo yonke inkosikazi eyazama.
Ukuthobeka kunye nokuthobeka kwakhona
Ukugqiba ekubeni ngunkosikazi, kufuneka uqaphele ngokucacileyo ukuba kuphela kwiimeko ezizimeleyo, amadoda asombulula ukushiya intsapho esemthethweni. Ngokuqhelekileyo ikosikazi, ishiye iimeko zayo, ihlala isithuba sempilo yesibini, ngenxa yengxenye yengonyama yexesha lakhe, loo mntu uhlawula yonke intsapho kunye nokusebenza.
Ukuze kugcinwe impilo yabo yengqondo, ibhinqa elivumile indima yomthandi, kufuneka likwazi ukuzalisa ixesha lokukhulula. Kubalulekile ukuba ebomini bakhe kwakukho umsebenzi onomdla, abahlobo, abahlobo kunye, mhlawumbi, omnye umntu. Ukongezelela, ungalindeli umntu otshatileyo njengonkulunkulu, makenze iintlanganiso zakhe nawe. Khumbula ukuba abameleli besondo esomeleleyo bajonga njengowesifazane ococekileyo ukuba abe ngumyuzi ohlala evuyiseni kwaye unako ukuvuselela amandla abanye.
Kwakhona kwenzeka ukuba ibhinqa lifanisa yonke imeko kwimeko yangoku. Ngokuqhelekileyo, oomama abatshadile kwaye banabantwana, kodwa abafuni ukubophelela kunye nezihlobo zentsapho ngokuphindaphindiweyo, qalisa abathandi. Kubo, umthandi ungumthombo wemvakalelo emihle, inkxaso yenkxaso, kodwa akukho.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwakunjani, ukuba ubuhlobo buba yimbopheleleko ebuhlungu, lixesha lokuba lihlolisise kwaye, mhlawumbi, ukuba liphule. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza le nzekala ivela, kuya kuba lula ukuhlala kwimeko yobomi obunzima.