Uthando luvakalelwa kukuba, ngokukodwa ekuncinane, akunzima ukudibanisa nokudibana kwemizwa efanayo. Kwaye ukuziva umda phakathi kothando lwangempela kunye "nokwenziwe" kunzima, kodwa kunokwenzeka. Uthando lokwenene aluyimbongo ehlabelela uthando, kungekhona izimbali zeentyantyambo, ukukhanya okuhle okanye ukushona kwelanga. Kuphela bluff. Uthando alufanelekanga okanye lukulungele. Umntu othanda ngokunyanisekileyo ukulungiswa kunye nokunciphisa, unqwenela ukuba uyamthanda umthandi wakhe. Abo babathanda ngokwenene iintliziyo abazidingeki ukuba bathethe intliziyo ngentliziyo. Ngamagama, uthando lunyano lwabahlobo ababini. Kodwa ubunobuntu, ngokuzicingela kunye nobugovu, kulukhuni kakhulu ukuthanda onyanisekileyo, oku kwimeko zabo zenzeke kangangoko.
Kukho imiqondiso emininzi apho kunokwenzeka khona ukucacisa ukuba unengxaki enyanisekileyo onokuyenza, okanye akunjalo.
1. Impembelelo enamandla yefuthe. Ngaba uyaphawula ukuba umntu othile, awuthandi nje ngaphandle. Ngaba unomvakalelo omnandi ozayo emva kokuthetha nalo mntu? Ngaba unomuva onamandla wokujonga amehlo okanye ukumomotheka? Ukuba kunjalo, ke lo ngumqondiso woluvo lwangempela. Ngamanye amaxesha, uthando lufana nomoya ovuthayo, lunokuthi lube lukhulu ngokucacileyo, kwiimoto zalo. Kodwa, akakwazi ukulibala ukuba kukho into enjalo, kodwa, ke, ivakalelo elifutshane elikwakhelwe kuphela ekukhangekeni komzimba, umnqweno ongenakunqwenelekayo womntu ofanayo ozama ukumva ngayo iimvakalelo ezinjalo. Ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo ezinjalo ziyimpawu ekuqaleni, ukuqala isigaba sobudlelwane, kodwa konke oku kusekude nothando.
Ukuvakalelwa ngokwenene kubumbano lwabathathu. Ubumbano, ubunye bomzimba kunye nobunye beengqondo. Ngaloo ndlela kulandela isigqibo sokuba uthando alusekelwe kuphela kwiimoto zomzimba. Icala elingokomoya libaluleke kakhulu apha. Oku, xa ungeke ufikelele kumfanekiso nokubonakala komntu okhethiweyo, kodwa nangomphefumlo wakhe, ecaleni kwakhe, uziva unxulumene nemiphefumlo yakho, xa uphume khona, uphila kwaye uzinzile. Kwaye wena, uyazi, ukuba ukhethiweyo wakho unobungozi obuthile, obucinga ukuba ulungele, kodwa kamva, eli qiniso libonisa ukuba awuyiboni njengokuba kunjalo, kwaye uthi akukho uthando kumntu wakho. Ngenxa yokuba, xa ufumana uthando lokwenene, awuboni ilahleko enye, kwaye kukhethiweyo wakho uthanda yonke into, kwiinkcukacha ezincinci.
2. Iimbono ezingafaniyo ngokupheleleyo. Ukufumana unqulo lokwenene, olunamandla, umntu uqala ukuthetha ngokungafaniyo, ngendlela eyahlukileyo yokujonga ihlabathi, amehlo ahluke ngokupheleleyo. Uthando lwenza umntu ujabule, athokoze, uthando, njengokuthi "uyamkhuthaza". Olunye umxholo, ukuba umntu uzama ukubiza umnqweno ukuba abe nemvakalelo, ngokomzekelo, umnxeba wobukhwele, oku kubonisa ukuba akukho thando, kwaye kukho iminqweno enjengokubona iimvakalelo zeso sibini ngokubandezeleka kwakhe, ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo zangoku.
Ukuba, uyamthanda, ngoko nayiphi na indlela unokuqiniseka ukuba ufezekisileyo kuphela, ukwenza umnandi kubakhethiweyo okanye kukhethiweyo. Kwaye kwiingcamango zakho uhlala unento kuphela ongayinika umhlobo wakho, kodwa kungekhona oko ungathanda ukufumana kuye. Umntu onothando ngokwenene ulungele umzamo omtsha ngenxa yomntu othandekayo, akayilindeli ukuba abuzwe malunga nantoni na, ucinga ngezinto anokuzenza kunye nendlela yokwenza ngayo.
3. Into ebalulekileyo yithemba. Ingaba unomnqweno, wabelane nomntu obonakalayo amatsha, iindaba ezithile. Okanye, mhlawumbi, ufuna ukuthembela kulo mntu, uxelele into ethile ebalulekileyo? Yiba nethemba, kulo mntu uziva unzulu ngokwaneleyo. Ukuvavanya kwento oyithandayo kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe, kwaye nguwe kuphela onokukwenza. Ukususela kumthandana awukwazi ukufihla nto, kuba uyamthemba ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye ukuba uhlala ufihla into ethile kwisiqingatha sakho, ukholelwa ukuba mhlawumbi into ayayiyiqonda, okanye ucinge ukuba kukho izinto azidingeki ukuba azi, zonke zizithetha nje ukuba awuthembeli wakho othandekayo . Kwaye ukuba akukho ntembelo, akayiyo yonke intanda, kuba uthando lwakhiwe kwithemba. Uthandwa ngumntu obaluleke kakhulu ebomini bakho, kwaye icebiso lakhe kufuneka libe lixabiso elikhulu kuwe.
4. Akungathandabuzeki. Ngaba ke ukuba indawo yakho iyagxekwa ngazo zonke iindlela ngokukhetha kwakho? Gxininisa ukungaphumeleli kwisimo sakhe okanye ukuziphatha kwakhe? Kwaye konke oku, awuyikuhlawula ngqalelo kwimbono yabantu? Yiba nethemba lokuba unesivakalelo esinamandla. Umntu onothando uzisa umntu wakhe okhethiweyo ukufezekisa, ukulungelelanisa, kwaye akukho nto inokuthandabuza kwintandane ngexesha elinye.
Uthandiwe ngumntu ofuna ukuhlala uhlala naye kwiwadi, mnike ukufudumala kunye nothando. Uqinisekile ukuba lo mntu nguye, oye walinda ubomi bakho bonke.