Ukuba umntu udala kakhulu, ngaba kukho ukumahluko?

Kungekudala, akukho mntu uyamangalisa xa umntu ekhulile kunye neminyaka yobudala obukhulu, kwaye akuqhelekanga, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba umkhwa. Ukuba ngaba amantombazana athuthuka ngokukhawuleza, okanye amadoda angasifumani ncinane. Makhe sibone oku kwangoku. Ukwahlukana kuminyaka, umntu omdala - sifunda malunga nale nto kwiphepha. _ Kutheni sifuna "ukuzithoba" kuzo? Iimpawu Zethu
Thina amantombazana izidalwa eziyimfihlakalo. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba baxelele kangakanani ngokulinganayo nokuthobela, sithandwa ngabantu abangakhange bajonge ngathi, nakwimeko yobudala. Kubudlelwane bethu nomntu, umlingiswa wethu kunye neempawu zayo zigwebe. Ukususela ekuqaleni, siza kusebenzisana ne "zamorochki" yethu, esiza kudlalwa kuyo.

Iingcali zengqondo zide zathi abafazi, kunye namadoda, baneentlobo ezi-3 zobuntu kwiintsebenziswano: unina, intombi nomfazi (umfazi).
- Umama - umfazi ozimisele ukuba yinkokeli kwiintsebenziswano, ukunyanzelisa umlingane wakhe aze asombulule yonke imiba kuye.

- Intombi-ayiyi kuba yinkokheli ekuthandaneni, umnqweno wakhe obalaseleyo kulwalamano kukuziva ukhuselwe kwaye uyathuthuzele, uthembele ngokupheleleyo ukuba loo mntu ngokwakhe uya kuzixazulula zonke iingxaki.

- Umfazi ungumfazi onelungelo, akayi kutshintsha isigqibo semibandela yonke kumntu kwaye akayicombululi kuye. Uzama ulwalamano olulinganayo, apho bobabini amaqabane athatha uxanduva lolwalamano.

Kodwa ezi ziintlobo ezixinzelelweyo, akukho mntu unqatshelwe ukuba abe ngumyeni, njengasemva kwedonga lwamatye kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukuba abe yinkokeli xa imeko ifuna. (Yiyo nje loo mntu kufuneka ixhaswe ngamaxesha anzima). Futhi musa ukuhlula abantu kwizinto ezilungileyo nokubi - akukho nto injalo.

Ukuhlaselwa ngamaqhinga!
Ubudlelwane nomntu omdala, ukuba ukuhluka kweminyaka kubonakale kakhulu, kubangelwa ukuba i-publicity negativity "ye-Sponsor ifunyenwe," kungekhona okokuqala ukuba uyayiva? Kodwa akusiyo yonke into embi, kwaye asiyi kubaphulaphula intombi, kubamelwane, size sifike kwisigqibo sokuba ngokuqhelekileyo ubudlelwane nomntu omdala kunathi ukhetho lwethu oluzimeleyo oluhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno zethu.

Kufuneka kuqatshelwe apha ukuba ukuba iminyaka yobudala ineminyaka engama-1 okanye ngaphezulu kweyakho ngaphezu kweyakho-oku akufani umahluko. Kodwa iminyaka engama-3 - sele isele ikwazi ukucinga ukuba mdala kunani. Umda ophezulu awukhawulelwanga. Lapha kunye "noyise" ungahamba-kungekhona nje "kwiPapic". Kuya kwenzeka kwaye. Nangona ake siyenze ngaphandle kweendlela ezifanayo. Ulwalamano nomntu omdala - lubudlelwane kunye nomntu omdala, kwaye akukho nto. Ngazo zonke iindidi zayo kunye ne-minuses, ngaphandle "koodade" kunye "nootata."

Kutheni ukhetha?
Ukhetho olukhethwa ngumntu womntu, ukhetho "nje" asilucacisi, kodwa ngoku asiyiqwalasela:
Kwaye mhlawumbi izinga lokuzithemba akukuvumeli ukuba unelisekile kwaye uhambe ngokuzithemba ebomini. Okanye mhlawumbi ufuna ukulibala malunga nazo zonke iinkxalabo kwaye ube "kunye nendoda."

Okanye mhlawumbi ungumfazi ophuhlisiwe, oye wazinqwenela ukuzimisela kunye neenjongo zobomi. Uyazi into oyifunayo, kwaye ukwaneliseka okwenene kufumaneka kwintsebenziswano nendoda endala kunawe. Nangona amabanga ayanandi, kwaye i-hugs inamandla, incinci okanye inye-yobudala-oku akunjalo.

Le ndoda ikhulile
Yena, njengomthetho, wenzeka ngombono wethu umntu ophila ngokuzinzileyo ebomini. Unomsebenzi onika ingeniso, okuvumela ukuba ungagcini nje kuphela, kodwa kunye nomfazi wakho kwaye, mhlawumbi, umntwana.

Imikhwa ethile kunye neemfuno ezithile, isiqulatho esithile sehlobo. Yaye yonke indawo ubheka ngayo, ukuzinza kuyo yonke indawo. Nangona kunjalo, lo mntu akanakwenzeka ukuba athande ukutshintsha indlela yobomi. Uya kuvuma ukuthatha phantsi kwephiko lakhe, kodwa ngokwemimiselo yakhe nemithetho.

Iinkalo zobudlelwane nomntu omdala:
- Unolwazi kuyo yonke into, amava akhe anokukunceda wenze isigqibo malunga neenjongo zakho zobomi, amava ezesondo apha nakwizinto.

- Ulwalamano lobuhlobo. Wayenayo intsapho, bahlukana, kwaye indoda ehlakaniphile ayiyi kuphinda iphinde iphinde iphinde ibuke izinto ezinazo, ikhubekise, kwaye njalo.

- Icandelo elithile lempumelelo. Isiseko sempahla yinkxaso enhle yobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Asinakuqwalasela ngoku ngoku iindoda ezilahlekileyo, eziye zafezekisa yonke into ebomini babo, oku kuphela iminyaka. Akufanele sithathwe.

- Ukuthembela kwikamva. Ukungabi nokwesaba ebomini, kuba baya kukunceda kwaye basoloko beyombulula ingxaki yakho.

Ukwazisa kwizenzo. Ubudlelwane nomntu omdala ngokuqhelekileyo kunika isiqinisekiso sokuba ubomi bakho bube kwisicwangciso esilungileyo. Indoda endala, kunye nentombazana ecaleni kwayo, ayiyi kulahlekelwa yimali okanye yenza izenzo zokukhawuleza, kuba ixanduva liza neminyaka, nokuba nantoni na inokuthi.

Xa bekhetha umfazi wabo, izinto eziphambili zibeka phambili ekuthandeni umlingiswa. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba amagama athi "i-hairstyle", "ukususwa kweenwele", "ukwakheka" kuya kwixesha elide kwaye lihlanganiswe nothuli. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ebubudlelwaneni, xa umntu ekhulile, uya kuziva ngathi ungumntu, kungekhona nje intombazana, nokuba uyayithanda.

Ukungalungi kobudlelwane nomntu omdala kunokuba:
- Wonke amava afanayo. Abantwana bebudlelwane obudlulileyo, ngakumbi ukuba bahlala naye. Ukungazalwanga ngokugcwele ulwalamano oludlulileyo luya kubakho ukuthelekisa phakathi kwakho kunye naye-kwaye nantsi mnandi mnandi. Kwaye ukuba ubuncinane bezinye iingoma zakhe zihlala ebomini bakhe, uya kuba nomuva ukuba ulwalamano kunye namathathu. Ewe, oku kuxhomekeke kumntu kwaye ulungiswa ngexesha.

- Ukuba uthembela kuye kwaye uhlala echanekile, uhlala echanekile. Ngamanye amaxesha kunqanda ukuzimela kwakho, umntu ngamnye.

- Ngokuxhomekeke kwiminyaka yobudala bakho, amadoda angaba neemfuno ezahlukileyo. Ukuba ufuna ukuhamba ukudanisa kanye ngenyanga, uya kumangaliswa ukufumanisa ukuba akayi. Uhlala ulwalamano nomntu omdala udinga ukucinga ngekamva-mhlawumbi ngoku awunalo ukungafani, kodwa emva kwexesha ngenxa yobudala bangabonakala.

- Umsebenzi kunye nokuzinza ngokuqhelekileyo kwenza ukuba amadoda anamathele emsebenzini, kwindawo yokusebenza. Ukuphuka kweveki enye kwesinye isixeko akunakusebenza. Ukungabikho kwamashishini amakhulu abenza ishishini kwifowuni, kwaye kwi-plane yabo inokuthabathela emaphethelweni omhlaba, kodwa sicinga ngomntu oqhelekileyo.

Iimpawu zokuziphatha kwakho ekujonganeni nomntu omdala:
"Kufuneka athembeke ngaphezu kwanoma yimuphi umntu." Musa ukubuza izizathu zakhe zokuphila, ezifunyenwe kwiminyaka yakhe. Ukuba ukhethe yena, kulungile, kunjalo?

- Khawucinge ukuba kutheni ukhethe yena, mncinane kunye, mhlawumbi nokuba ncinane kakhulu. Esi sizathu kufuneka sigcinwe ngaso sonke isikhathi.

- Phuhlisa. Xa umntu ekhulile, uhlala esilungele ukuvavanya iimfuno zakho zobomi kunye nenkxaso yakho kuzo. Indoda endala iya kuba yintlekelelo kunye nentombazana enelizwe layo, apho eyakhela khona inqanaba lakhe ngokunyathela. Ewe, kukho ihlabathi kweli hlabathi, kodwa kweli hlabathi akufanele livalwe. Amadoda okwenene (nayiphi na iminyaka) ayithandi oku.

Iingcebiso eziwusizo kulabo abagqiba ngokugqibeleleyo ukuba ubudlelwane kunye nendoda endala kufuneka:
- Ingqalelo ingqalelo kuphela kwiminyaka yobudala, kodwa nakwiminyaka yakho yobudala, njengokuba uneminyaka yobudala obuhlukileyo. Yithi, ukuba uneminyaka engama-18 ubudala, kwaye uneminyaka engama-25, ngoko-ke ngumngcwabo, kwaye ukuba uneminyaka engama-35, kwaye uneminyaka engama-42, ke le yinto nje encinane kwindlela, ekwazi ukuwela kalula.

- Xoxa ngale ngxaki kunye nomntu ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho ukuze ngoko ukunganeliseki okanye ukungathandabuzeki kwakho kungabi yinto emangalisayo kokubili. Yamkela into yokuba kukho umma kwiminyaka, kwaye iya kuthinta ubudlelwane. Cinga uze wenze isigqibo sokuba uza kwenza ntoni. Kubalulekile ukuthetha nokuxoxa ngale miba kunye.

- Ukuba ukhetha umntu, uzama, ubuncinane, ukuba ungadluli kwiminyaka yentonga. Ngaphandle koko, kungenokwenzeka ukuba uya kudibana neemfuno zomnye nomnye, okuya kufana nobudlelwane bomnqophiso: udibana nemfuno yakho yokuzinza, umzekelo, kwaye, umzekelo, ufuna umfazi wakhe ebomini - emva koko, abaninzi bakholelwa, ngoko kuyimfuneko. Le ngcebiso kubabodwa abaphambili kwiimvakalelo, kungekhona ukubala.

Ngoku siyazi ukuba kukho umma kwiminyaka kwaye indoda ikhulile kunowesifazane, inzuzo kunye neengxaki zomtshato onjalo. Othe wathetha nantoni na, kodwa ngamnye wethu-eneneni, umntwana omncinci ohlala kwihlabathi apho umntu uhlala efuna ukuba ngumdala. Mhlawumbi ulwalamano nomntu lukhulile kwaye kukho ithuba lakho, xa lo mntwana angakwazi ukulala ebumnyathweni kunye nokukhuseleko, uxolo nokuthula. Ukuba uguqulele umntu onjalo ebomini, ungayithobeli iilwimi ezimbi ezingakuhlazisa. Phinda uhlaziye eli nqaku kwaye phambili, emva kokukhokelela umntu, kwixesha elizayo.