Ngubani phakathi kwethu ongenakufuna ukuba nomntu osondeleyo kuye, okwazi ukwabelana nazo zonke iintlondi kunye nosizi, ukuguqula ubomi ibe yindalo. Kwinqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano lwentsapho, kudla ngokukwenzekayo: umyeni ugqoke umfazi kwizandla zakhe, unxineke naye, unyanzelekile. Kodwa kudlula iminyaka emininzi, kwaye ubomi obuqaqambileyo buyithatyathwa yimiba yobomi bemihla ngemihla, ehlaziywa ngumlingo weqabane. Apha sele usufunde ukuqiqa iiminqweno zeqabane lakho, uyazi ukuba uya kuziphendula iingcinga zakho nezenzo zakho. Ngokuchasene nale mvelaphi, kukho iingxabano ezinokukhubaza ngokupheleleyo umnqweno wokwenza izinto zothando, lo mbhangqwana ubonakalisa ukungoneleliseki kwisiqingatha sabo sesibini.
Ukuba njani kule meko, ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuvuselela iimvakalelo zokuthandana, ukuvelisa into ethile yokwenza ubuhlobo okanye isitimela esishiye kunye nayo yonke into enokuyenza yithethileyo kwaye ihlukane ngokuthula, ithembisane ukuba ihlale ingumhlobo?
Thatha ixesha lakho: imvelo inemithetho yayo!
Izinto ezininzi kwizinto zendalo zikhula ngokuhambelana nomthetho we-cyclic. Jonga ngeenxa zonke: ubusika buyathatyathwa yintwasahlobo, ixesha leengxaki lihamba phambili kwendiza. Kuyafana nobudlelwane, kwaye, njengobungane kunye nabathandi. Kufanelekile ukuhlangabezana neengxaki kwaye kuya kutshintshwa imizwa evuselelwe.
Kuboniswa ukuba akukho buhlobo obumiyo, bakha okanye balahlekanga, kodwa akukho nto kweli hlabathi liseburhulumenteni. Ukujongana nale meko, kunokuqondakala ukuba ngokuphuhliswa kothando kule mbhangqwana kuza ukuqonda, inkxaso, ukuthembela. Enyanisweni, ubudlelwane obude bexesha elide bunobungozi: izibini eziye zahlala iminyaka emininzi emtshatweni wazo, sele zisingenalo umdlalo wesondo ocacileyo omnye nomnye, ungabonakali ngabanye.
Iingcali zengqondo ziqaphele ukuba akukho mvelaphi ecacileyo kwithuba elide elidibeneyo: inzala kwisigamu sabo sesibini ilahlekile njengeveki yemihla yokuthandana, kwaye emva kweminyaka engama-30 yobomi obudibeneyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuhla kwexabiso elibonakalayo kunomdla kubonwa ngenye yeqabane, kodwa kwenzeka ukuba bobabini abantu bapholile ngexesha elifanayo. Kungenxa yoko kwenzekayo kwaye unokubuyisela njani uthando?
Ukuzibonakalisa kubonisa ukuba kuyona nto ibuhlungu kakhulu ukuqonda ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuphela ngomzuzwana omnye abo bakholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ubudlelwane obunye lunokuhlala ixesha lobomi. Iiofisi zeRejistri ezikhupha iipasspoti eziprintwayo aziqinisekisi ubomi obude kunye kwaye kufuneka ziqondwe ukuba ngokubeka amacandane kwiminwe yomnye, umile ekuqaleni kohambo olunzima. Kodwa kuya kuba kude kangakanani, ixesha liya kuthetha.
Ngoko, unomlingani osisigxina, kodwa ulwalamano kunye naye luyancipha kakhulu. Ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka kwakhona nothando olwalukuqala kolwalamano, kufuneka uphulaphule ezi zilandelayo ngcebiso.
Izinketho zokulwa neengxaki zobudlelwane
Into yokuqala okufuneka uyenze ukuhlalutya indlela oziphatha ngayo, zama ukuqonda oko uvakalelwa ngumntu ophetheyo. Abanye besetyhini, bazive bengathandeki ebuhlotsheni, bakhawuleza batshata ukugxeka indoda. Nciphisa lo mlutha, kuba unako ukuhlukanisa abantu abasondeleyo. Khumbula ukuba "umfazi owonayo" ulonchenkomu lonwabo akayifumanga kwaye indoda iya kuhamba emva koko iya kufuna izimo zokuphila ezikhululekile. Cinga, ngaba lakho iqabane libi kangangokuthi akanakho ukudumisa? Ufunda izifundo kunye nentombi yakhe, uthanda ukudlala ekuthinjweni? Ewe, uyindoda enhle kakhulu yintsapho! Njalo kusihlwa inja iyahamba, ilungele ukusebenzisa onke amashalofu endlwini kwaye ingahlambulula iipayipi ezigwenyile? Kwaye emva koko ucinga ukuba akukho nto yokudumisa kunye nentlonelo?
Xa uziqonda ngokwakho, unganqikazi ukuzisa ingxaki kwingxoxo. Tshela loo mntu ukuba ukhathazeke kukuba uthando luye lwaphuma kulwalamano lwakho, kwaye ungathanda uthando oluninzi kwaye, mhlawumbi, amava okukhukula. Buza umntu obathandayo ukuba abe neendlela zakhe zokuphuma ngaphandle kwimeko, kwaye uya kuqonda ukuba ukuxazulula iingxaki kunye kunye kulula.
Ukuze uvuselele umdla womntu emzimbeni wakho, zibandakanye. Ngenxa yoko, akufuneki ukuba uchithe isiqingatha semini kwindawo yokuzivocavoca, okwaneleyo ukubhalisa echibini, ukuya kwi-Pilates, uzame ukuba loo mzobo-iplastiki. Ngelinye igama, phucula, kwaye umyeni uya kujonga utshintsho kwizona zinto zilungileyo.
Nika inkululeko ngakumbi! Ngokomzekelo, ngobunye ubusuku unokuphumla uze uphinde uzalise imikhosi ngokwahlukileyo. Ibhinqa ngeli xesha lihamba kunye nabahlobo bayo kwi-cafe, i-steam kwindawo yokuhlamba, tyelela i-salon ye-SPA. Umyeni naye, ngokuqinisekileyo, uya kufumana lula, kunokuba ngokwakhe ahlale kuyo: ukunyuka kunye nabahlobo kwibala lemidlalo, intetho emva kwengxube yobhiya, i-sauna-akukho nkathazo ukuba iqabane lihambe khona ngaphandle kwakho.
Ukuba unethuba, kucetyiswa ukuba unikwe olunye usuku kwintanda yakho. Ngeli xesha, unokwenza ukuphuculwa kwakho, hamba kwiikhosi, apho uya kufundiswa ukwenza iingubo ngezandla zakho, ukwenza amakhadi ezenziwe ngesandla. Ngamafutshane, nwabisa kwaye ufunde ukuziqonda. Kule meko ungalindela ukuba indoda yakho iya kuqonda ukuba uyayibaluleke kangakanani kuye.
Nangona useneminyaka emininzi utshatile, akukho mntu ukhansele iintlanganiso zothando - unokufumana ixesha lokuba ngumntu oxakeke kakhulu. Mema umhlobo wakho kwindawo enomdla, kwaye ngexesha elizayo makenze isigqibo sokusebenzisa ixesha elingaphandle kwendlu yakhe.
Inendima ebalulekileyo ekuqondeni ngokubambisana phakathi kwamalingani idlalwe ngobomi bentsebenziswano ngesondo. Kwaye nangona yonke into ikufanele, ungakhohlwa ukuba unokwenza izinto ezintle ngezikhathi ezithile uzame ukufaka ingxaki, ukubeka iingubo zangaphantsi ezithandekayo, ngegama, zama ukugcina umdla woluntu usebenza ngokukhawuleza.
Ukuseka ubudlelwane kuya kunceda nokuthetha ngezihloko zomdla kubo bonke, kwakunye nokucwangciswa kwexesha elizayo.
Zama ukubamba iqabane lakho ngokusemandleni akho, mxelele ukuba uyamthanda kangakanani kwaye uyamthanda njani. Ukuba awunakho ixesha elaneleyo lokuzikhethela, onokuchitha kunye kunye, cinga, mhlawumbi uya kucinga kwakhona ngeshedyuli yomsebenzi wakho. Ukuba awukwazi ukuphumeza isicwangciso esinjalo, zama ubuncinane ukuba udle isidlo sakusihlwa kunye nesidlo kunye.
Ingxoxo eyahlukileyo kukubuyiselwa kobudlelwane bomntwana nomntwana. Ibhinqa ngeli xesha linika ininzi intsuku kumntwana, kaninzi akanayo ixesha elaneleyo lokunyamekela okokuqala. Vala kuya kunceda ukunakekelwa ngokubambisana komntwana. Musa ukunika lonke ixesha lakho umntwana, khumbula, umyeni uphinde ufune ingqalelo yakho.
Xa ubuyisela ubuhlobo kunye nabathandekayo, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba imida yangaphambili ayiyiyo intshaba, ifuna zonke izinto ezibi kakhulu, zingabi zivila, ziphupha ukukhawuleza ukulala, kodwa umntu ozinikele kuyo inxalenye yobomi bakho. Ukunxibelelana nomntu wakho, ungalibali uhlobo lobuhlobo olubuzwa ngumfazi wakho, qho ucinga malunga naluphi na iindlela onokuzifezekisa injongo yakho. Ngaba ulungele ukufunga kuyo yonke into encinane, ubeka ingozi yokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo wakho kunye nokutshabalalisa intsapho?