Ubudlelwane bexesha elide kunye nezibophelelo zothando zisoloko ziphazamiseka ukungahlambuluki kokuziphatha kwabasha abasha, ukungakwazi kwabo nokungafuni ukunyaniseka, ukuhlambalaza, ukunyaniseka, njl. Ngenxa yesi sizathu, i-42% yeentsapho ziyahlukana. I-31% yabasetyhini kunye nama-23% amadoda aphula ubudlelwane babo ngenxa yobunxila beqabane labo lesibini. Okwesithathu, isizathu esona siqhosha sokuqhawula umtshato singokungathembeki komyeni okanye umfazi.
Yintoni enomdla kakhulu, kukho iinyanga ezithile kunyaka kunye neentsuku zeveki xa ubudlelwane bexesha elide lusongelwa. Iphephandaba i-Mirror lenze izifundo ezizodwa, kwaye zifumene, ngokuqhelekileyo izibini ziqhekeza ngoJanuwari. Akumangalisi - uNyaka omtsha, ubomi obutsha ... Ngaphandle koko, kuba lula ukufumana ubudlelwane, kufaka zonke iingongoma ngasentla kwaye, ngaphambili kungenakho ukufumana ixesha elaneleyo. Kwakhona kuma-80% omyeni okanye umfazi ushiya intsapho ngoMgqibelo okanye ngeCawa.
Unokwenza njani isiqingatha sakho sesibini singalibali iimbopheleleko zakho ngothando, indlela yokugcina umtshato?
Kuvela ukuba kukho ezininzi izinto eziqinisa okanye, ngokuchasene noko, zenze igalelo ekuhlaleni ubudlelwane. Ukuba uhlala kwindlu yakho, kwaye ungaqeshanga indlu, ngoko umda wokuqhawula umtshato uyancitshiswa ngo-45%. Umntwana oqhelekileyo kunye nentsebenziswano ngaphambi komtshato ubambe iqhaza ekuqiniseni ubudlelwane, nangona abaninzi bakholelwa ngenye indlela. Ngokuqhelekileyo abaqabane bayagxeka, kodwa kubonakala ukuba kubalulekile ukugcina inxalenye - 1 ukugxeka - 5 ukuncoma, ngaphandle koko, uya kuqhawula umtshato. Bathi abo bajonga kwelinye icala, kwaye bengekho nxamnye nomnye, bayonwabile ngothando. Umphandi uHans-Ver-Ner Birhoff wafumanisa ukuba xa abatshatileyo bacinga ngendlela efanayo, banemilinganiselo efanayo, ngoko umtshato wabo uya kuba namandla kunabo bonke. Yaye yintoni eyenza abafazi bayibale yonke imbopheleleko baze baye kwenye intsapho? Kuvela ukuba isizathu esingaba yimfundo engalunganga kwintsapho. Isazi seengqondo uDavid Likken sibone ukuba abantwana bazali abaqhawule umtshato abanakho ukudala ubudlelwane obuhlala. Kukho konke malunga neemvakalelo kunye nezenzo abazikopisha kubazali babo. Iingqabane ezincinci nazo azikwazi ukugcina uthando. Ukuba umtshato wawungaphambi kokuba uneminyaka engama-21, kunokukho umtshato oqhawulezayo. Abantu abadala abasanda kutshata banamathuba amaninzi obomi obonwabileyo, kwaye ngamnye umnyaka uphila ungeze ipesenteji eyongezelelweyo-kuba amadoda-2%, kubafazi - 7% yokuba umtshato uya kwenzeka. Inkolo eqhelekileyo idibanisa abantu. Kwaye ubomi e-dolophu, ngokuchaseneyo, kwandisa amathuba okuqhawula umtshato.
ISayensi ihlala ihamba phambili. UNjingalwazi we-Psychology uJohn Gottman kunye noprofesa wezeMathematika uJames Murray bakholelwa ukuba phantse iipesenti ezili-100 ziyakwazi ukuba ngaba isibini esithile siza kuhlala "emtshatweni omdala". Bahlalutya ubomi beembhangqwana ezingama-700, kwaye ngokwemiqathango yabo, baye baqinisekisa ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba bafumane ubude bemanyano yabo kwimixholo yeengxabano kunye neengxoxo. Abafazi babanikezwa ngesihloko ukuze baxoxe kwaye bakhuthazwe ukuba baqale ingxabano. Ukuba zombini ngethuba leengxoxo, ziphulaphule iingxabano zenye iqabane, lonke ixesha, nangona iingcamango zengqondo zihluke, zizama ukubonisa uthando nothando lwabo, ngoko ubuhlobo bumelele uvavanyo. Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, imbambano iphendukele kulwimi oluxhaphazayo, kwaye abafazi baqhubeka bephindaphinda inyaniso yabo, ngokuqinisekileyo abaphulaphulelana, mhlawumbi, phambi kwabo kwakuqhawula umtshato.
Umlinganiselo wothando awunakunikwa, ngamnye unayo. Kodwa, ukuba ubuncinci sinqwenela ulwalamano oluqinileyo noluthembekileyo - isiqingatha somcimbi senziwa, bonke baya kuncedwa ngothando nangomonde.