Matrix: Phinda ulayishe kwakhona
Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba akubalulekanga ukuba ngubani ovela kumntu womtshato womntu owaqalisa "ukuphumla kwexeshana komnye nomnye". Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwakunjani, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba bobabini abalingani baqonda le ngcamango ngokukhululeka okukhulu. Kwaye le nto kukuba ngamanye amaxesha ulwalamano luqala "ukulahla": ukuxabana okugqithiseleyo kwintlanzi, esandula ukufumana imeko kunye emva kokuxubusha ingxubevange, bathambekele ekunyuseni ukuya kwinqanaba leengxaki zehlabathi, "ukukhathala komzimba" komnye nomnye , ukulahlekelwa yintando yesini kunye nokunye okuninzi.
Ngoko ke, ngokulinganisa zonke iingxaki kunye neengxaki, ezo zibini zontsebenziswano ziqwalasela indlela kuphela yokutshintsha imeko ekhoyo. Kodwa kungabikho ukwahlukana ngonaphakade, kunye nokuthiwa yixesha lokuphuma. Ewe, kwaye yintoni? Usuvele ujwayele ukuba nomnye, unayo (bonke basenayo, kodwa nje bavelele) kwaye kunzima ukuba ucinge ukuba lo mntu akayi kuba. Kukho isivumelwano esifanelekileyo, esimele sakhiwe kule micimbi elandelayo:
- Ixesha elipheleleyo lexesha lokuphuma. Ngaba uya kubiza okanye uhanjane ngeli xesha? Kwaye kunye nalo mzuzwana "musa ukuvuka" kwaye "ungadli"
- Ukunyaniseka - musa ukuqala iireveli ngasecaleni lomqhubi kwaye "ungaqhubeki" zonke iindlela.
- Hlala ngokuzodwa kwaye "ngokusemandleni akho, ulwalamano lwakho kunye nabangaphandle".
Emva kokuba ufumene ukulungelelanisa kule miba, unokuphepha, ngokwenza uxolo, uhlulwe "kunye neebhanki ezahlukeneyo", ulindele ukuqhubela phambili "umoya omtsha" ebudlelwaneni bakho obudinileyo.
Xa konke okufanayo kuya kubakho ukuphula iibhuleki
Njengomthetho, ingcamango yokuqala yokwenza uthando luphumele entloko emva kwesiqingatha sonyaka sokuhlala kunye, xa konke ukunyamezela kwintando kuye kwanyamalala, kwaye yonke imimiselo yokuqala ebonakalise iyicasulayo. Kule meko, ixesha eliphumayo ngokuqhelekileyo likhokelela ekuphumeni okupheleleyo: izibophelelo zengqondo zisele zibuthathaka kwaye kubonakala ngathi kulula ukufumana intando entsha kunokuba uxolelane okanye ubekezelele zonke iziphoso ezibonakalayo zomdala.
Kwindawo yesibini kwixesha lokuphuma kwexesha lokuzalwa ngumntwana. Abameli besondo esomeleleyo ngokusoloko kwangoko baqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba ebomini kwakukho "ukukhwabanisa" kwenene, kwaye ngokufanelekileyo ukuba ngumntu kuphela "itrone" ithatyathwe yinkwenkwe ekhwaza rhoqo. Inkxalabo yokuhlaziywa ngokupheleleyo kweempawu zifuna ukuphumla okupheleleyo kunye nexesha elininzi. Nantsi, kule ngxaki, esinye isiqingatha sisoloko sikhathazeka ngokuvumela umntu ukuba acingisise ngokuziqhayisa.
Omnye umzuzu ofanelekileyo wokuqalisa ixesha lokuthanda uthando uthathwa njengengaphakathi "nomdlalo wokuphila". Kakade, njengomthetho, uneminyaka engama-35-38, amadoda aqala ukuxhalabisa ngengqondo ephazamisayo yombuzo wokufumana intsingiselo yobomi. Ukuhlala ucinga malunga nento esele yenziwe kunye nento engazange yenziwe, loo mntu uyazikhethela yena, kodwa uyimfuneko: lo msebenzi, umsebenzi kunye nalo mfazi. Ngexesha elibalekela kuye, ubalekela kwintanda yakhe. Nanku ixesha lokumnika ilungelo elipheleleyo kunye nethuba lokukwenza. Ngendlela, kulungele ukutshitshisa into yokuba umntu kulula ukufumana "ukufikelela kuye" ngokupheleleyo, mhlawumbi kungenzeka ukuba yonke into iya kukwazi ukubuyela kwindawo yayo.
Imithetho engundoqo yeenqabana ezingenakunikwa
- Okokuqala, kufuneka kuthethwe ukuba i-indefinite-time-outs in ubudlelwane ngesihloko esithi-la "Kuze thina bobabini singenakuziva ngokupheleleyo ukuba ..." asikho! Ngokombono weengqondo zengqondo, umntu akakwazi ukugcina uxinzelelo olunjalo ngokusemandleni akhe. Ixesha elona xesha lifanelekileyo lokumisa isikhashana kuthathwa njengexesha leveki ukuya kwenyanga.
- Sonke sikhumbula amazwi omculo owaziwayo: "Musa ukukhala, ungesabi, musa ukubuza!". Ngoko, ngomzuzwana onjalo, akukho mfuneko njengomthombo, uphefisa iimvakalelo zakho ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, okanye, ngakumbi nakakhulu, kuzo zonke iindlela ezinokwenzeka kwaye ezingenakwenzeka, zama ukugcina othandekayo kuwe, nangona ukuba isibonelelo sokwenza ixesha lobudlelwane olubanjwe.
- Akukho imfuneko yokubandakanya isangqa esikhulu esidlangalaleni kwingxoxo yesi sihloko esibukhali. Kwaye kunye nomncinci, ngendlela, kufuneka uqaphele ngakumbi. Apha kufuneka ucinge ngekhanda lakho kwaye usebenze kunye neenkolelo zakho!
- Akukho mfuneko yokuba utshintshwe "amabanjwa emfazwe"! Akukho imfuneko ukubuyisela zonke izinto ezizinikeleyo, ngokubonakalisa nangomdla ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba zidilize iipascards kunye neleta uze uthathe isilifa kwisiqingatha. Nanku kubaluleke kakhulu ukwenza okuphambene noko, ngamandla onke uzama ukugxininisa ukungaphelelanga kwezi meko "ezimbini".
- Umgaqo wokugqibela kukuba kufuneka ugxothe zonke iingcamango. Ngamanye amagama, ufanele uhlale ukhumbule ukuba nayiphi na into yesiphumo sokuthanda ixesha, ungabuyeli ngqondweni kuyo!
Kwaye ekupheleni kwesi sihloko ndifuna ukucaphula u-Oscar Wilde, owathi wathi: "Abatshatileyo bavame ukulala ngamagumbi ahlukeneyo, badla ngamaxesha ahlukeneyo, bayeke ukusebenzisa i-vroz.Onnnn word, yenza konke okusemandleni abo abangasindisa umtshato wabo ! "Cinga ngamagama kwaye vumela ukuba imeko ihambe ngokwayo. Kule nto kuphela, yonke into ingatshintsha, kwaye ubuhlobo bakho buya kukwazi ukufumana intsingiselo entsha, kuba ngamanye amaxesha kunceda kakhulu ukuphumla komnye!