Enyanisweni, umntu ngamnye ngohlobo lwakhe uthanda ngendlela yakhe, nothando lwakhe. Kule ndlela kulandelelana ukuba uthando lomtshato ngamnye luhlukile, kuba ludibanisa iintlobo ezimbini zothando, ukudala "iipasspecies" ezahlukileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kunokwenzeka ukuchonga iimpawu eziphambili zothando, kunye neendlela ezininzi zokubonakalisa le ntliziyo.
Uthando luboniswa njani?
Uthando ngesini esahlukileyo lubonakalisiwe njengenguqu yangaphakathi kumzimba womntu onothando, kunye nokubonakaliswa kwangaphandle ngendlela yokunyamekela okongeziweyo, ukuthobela umlingane. Njengomthetho, yonke imbonakaliso yothando ihlukaniswe ngamaqela amakhulu amathathu:
- Umbhalo (ongaphandle) ukubonakaliswa kothando - eli qela liquka ukubonakaliswa kwezandi (ngomlomo) ngothando ngendlela ebonisa uthando kunye neenqweno, iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokudumisa, ukubonakalisa imvakalelo yezwi ("ephosakeleyo", ngamazwi ngothando), iimeko ezihambelana ncoko ngezihloko eziqhelekileyo.
- Iqela leentetho ezithandwayo zothando zibonakaliso zothando ngendlela yezenzo ezithile kwaye zibandakanya izipho zomntu othandekayo, ukuxhamla ngokomzimba (ukumbathisa, ukumanga, ukumncumo, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, njl njl) njl.
- Imbonakalo edibeneyo yothando, ebandakanya iintlobo ezimbini zokuqala zokubonakalisa - uncedo nakweyiphi na, izithembiso kunye nokuzaliseka kwazo, ukutyelela kubahlobo bomntu othandekayo, ukuphunyezwa ngokubambisana naziphi na iimeko.
Ukongezelela, uthando luyabonakaliswa ngenguqu kwindawo yangaphakathi yomntu. Oku kungenxa yenguqu kwimvelaphi ye-hormonal emzimbeni. Indlela yokuqala yokuthandana nothando yi-adrenal glands: ikhulula emzimbeni wonke umxube wamahomoni (i-cortisol, i-adrenaline kunye ne-norepinephrin). Ngokufanayo, kubangele ukuqhutyelwa kwemvakalelo yokuthandana, akuhlali kusondlo. I-Cortisol inikeza umzimba isigxina soxinzelelo samandla, i-norepinephrine "inika" ukuvuthwa kweengxabano kunye nokuvusa isondo, kodwa ukuqhuma kwentliziyo, ukukhupha okukhulu, ukuphefumula ngokukhawuleza kunye nokuhamba kwegazi kudala kubangela i-adrenaline.
Njengomthetho, zonke iinguqu ze-endocrine ezingentla zihambelana ngothando kunye nakwindawo yokujonga kwimizimba kubambe iqhaza kumsebenzi oyintloko wabantu - ukwandiswa kwejen. Ukuba abantu bangafikelela kwindlela ephezulu yokubonakalisa iimvakalelo - uthando, ukunyuka kwama-hormone kunciphisa. Inqaku elithakazelisayo: uthando lunobonakaliso obunzulu (ukunyaniseka, uthando, kunye nomanyano womtshato wemiphefumlo); zonke iimvakalelo ziveliswa yi "hormones of monogamy" - vasopressin kunye ne-oxytocin. Kuyaziwa ukuba i-oxytocin iveliswa ngexesha lokubeletha nokuncelisa, kwaye i-vasopressin ikhiqizwa kumadoda ngexesha lokuvusa isondo. Ndiyabulela kula ma hormone, kwaye kukho ukuvakalelwa okunjalo njengothando.
Umntu ophikisanayo
Kutheni uthando lunomlingani onjalo? Namhlanje, indoda ixelela ukuba uyayithanda, kwaye ngomso uchitha ubusuku busesele kwenye. Ewe, kwaye akusoloko kulula ukuqonda iimvakalelo zakho ...
Okokuqala, zonke izigwenxa ziyi-hormone ezifanayo. Isisiseko esisisiseko sisebenza apha njengomlindi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukho abantu, njengezilwanyana, abangazalwanga ngenxa yobudlelwane bomntu oyedwa. Utshintsho oluqhubekayo lweqabane, uphando ngonaphakade - intsingiselo yobomi. Kuphela ke aba bantu bahlala befumana ukunyaniseka kwezesondo kunye nokwenene. Ngokuqhelekileyo baxelelwa ngabo: "Bona abazi into abayifunayo."
Abanye kwiindawo zabo zobudlelwane bakhokelwa yingqiqo kunye nokuzuza. Idibanisa "amandla okuqiqa", umntu ukhangele umntu oza kuba nococeko ngemali ebomini. Yilapho amatye angaphantsi kwamanzi alala khona. Abantu abatshatileyo ngokubaluleka kokuxhamla kunye, baninzi "baya ngakwesobunxele" baze bazondele abakhethiweyo.
Xa ukhangela iqabane, ibhinqa, kunye nendoda, ngokuphindaphindiweyo (nangaphandle kokuyiqonda le nto) ikhokelwa yimpawu zangaphandle. Oku kuqondakalayo: ukwandisa i-genus, sikhetha iqabane elifanelekileyo kwi-data yabo yenyama, enokunika inzala enempilo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, la madoda isithembu. KuMama Wendalo, inyaniso enenzuzo: indoda kufuneka inikele ngokubanzi ngangokunokwenzeka inzala ephakamileyo, kodwa kumfazi - kukudumala kwamadoda nakubomi.
Imiphefumlo ehambelanayo
Inyaniso yobomi ilungile: "Zikhethele abantu abanjalo onayo kwaye uza kuba nento yokuthetha ngayo, kwixesha elizayo liya kuza."
Ukuba indoda nomfazi banomjikelezo oqhelekileyo wemisebenzi, inqanaba elifanayo lemfundo kunye nobunkokheli, ngoko akukho nto ingabikho ukungalingani kokuqonda. Kwaye kuya kukwazi ukufundisisa iilwimi zangaphandle, ukufunda iifayili ezintsha kunye nokufunda iincwadi ezifanayo.
Isondo esinye asiyi kuzaliswa, kwaye ukuba ubomi abuyanele "umphefumlo", ngoko ulwalamano olukhawuleza okanye olutshanje luya kunika. Nangona, kubalulekile ukulinganisa i-pros and cons and khetha oko kukufuphi kuwe.
Kwaye kuthekani ngesondo?
Ngelo xesha, ngaphandle kokuvisisana ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, akuyi kuba nobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo. Ngaphandle kwesiqhelo sesondo ngokuqhelekileyo komnye nomnye, kwaye ngenxa yoko, ngaphandle kwesondo esifanelekileyo, akukho buhlobo obuhle. Ukuba kukho into ephosakeleyo kwintliziyo, mhlawumbi, loo ntokazi iya kuhlala ihlupheka, kodwa loo mntu ayinakwenzeka. Ngoko ke, kuyafaneleka ukukhetha iqabane kunye nomgaqo-mzimba.
Ngaba kukho ubudlelwane obuhle?
Kuvela ukuba ulwalamano olugqibeleleyo, kufuneka kube nesondo esifanelekileyo kunye nengxoxo enyanisekileyo. Kuphela nje ngoku kuvela ku-nestykovochka: ukuba kulungile ebhedeni, akuyona into enhle ekuqondeni, kunye nakwezinye izinto. Yaye yintoni isizathu? Ayikho kwimpembelelo yeehomoni ezifanayo? Ngokuqhelekileyo, ekuqaleni, kukho ukutsala, ukuxhalaba, isithandwa, isondo, kwaye ngoko ubuhlobo, ukuba kukho. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, oku akuthethi ukuba ubudlelwane be-platonic ngokuthe ngqo buya kuphelelwa yimpumelelo.
Nangona kunjalo, kusekho ubudlelwane obuhle. Ukuba ulwalamano olunjalo luye lwaphuhliswa, ngoko abayi kuqondwa yinto ephikisanayo yothando, kwaye iifom zokubonakaliswa kwayo ziza kuba zizona zingonakali kakhulu. Kuphela nje ulwalamano olunjalo, kusekho imfuneko yokuhlonipha, ukuqonda, kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, inene, uthando!