Namhlanje uvakalelo lwe-platonic lube yinto ephantse ibe yinto ehlazo, ihlazo, ingqina ngokunyaniseka kwakho, ukungabikho. Eyona nto ingcono - yesikhashana, ekungenakwenzeka. Ukuba ungalali nabani na, ke akukho bani ofuna. Ukuba awukho umloli kwaye awukwazi ukufumana oko ufuna. Kubi nakakhulu: kungekhona nje umntu ongendawo, kodwa uyisidenge, ufumana ubudlelwane nomntu kuphela kumaphupho amnandi ...
Ngeminyaka elinesine ubudala ndathandana nomdlali odumile. Ukuvakalelwa kwe-platonic kwahlala malunga neshumi elinesibhozo: ngeli xesha abantu abathile befunda nabo sele bekhulelwe kwaye benethemba lokutshata, ndisaqhubeka ndibhala imibongo kwi-notebook enikezelwe "kwintloko enhle." Kwaye ukuba ngaba oontanga bam baqhelana ngesondo, babeza kundinika ukunganyaniseki kwaye bandinika inqaku lomntu ongapheliyo ...
Kamva, ininzi yemitshato yabo yasekuqaleni yaqhekeka, incinci ye-sexy Loliths yayiphendukela iminyaka ibe yinto emangalisayo yentsapho ehloniphekileyo. Kodwa ityuwa yembali ayikho kule nto, kodwa kwinto yokuba ndihlala ndibhalela izibongo, iimbali kunye neengqungquthela ngokuhlonipha kwakhe, ndaphenduka kwintetho eqhelekileyo yothando, i-blood-love-love, ibe ngumlobi onesandla esinezandla. Umama, nobawo, kunye nootitshala bam babengakwazi ukwenza into endiyenzayo ngothando ngenxa yezinto ezifihlakeleyo zeplatonic uthando - ukuba ndifundise ukuba ndisebenze rhoqo kum. Ndiyabulela kwisimo esibonakalayo sisisidenge nesincinci, ndiphoqele ukuba ndiqhube ngesandla ngentsuku zonke, njengemisebenzi yeewashi, ndayisayina, ndaya kwii-studios zengxelo, ndafumana umsebenzi kumaphephancwadi, ndaya kwikolishi.
Andikhumbuli iminyaka emininzi ndifungela yona ukuba, emva kokuba ndikhulile, andiyi kuhleka lo mculo ongenaluthando, kodwa ndagcina ilizwi lam. Kuba ndiyazi ngokuqinisekileyo: ukubhala kwam "Ndiza" wazalwa kuyo. Ngendlela efanayo ne "I" yomlobi uPetrarch, onothando lwakhe olungathandabuzekiyo uLharan otshatileyo wazala iinconnets, waziswa kwinqanaba le-Renaissance. Ukwahlukana kuphela kukuba, ngokungafani nam, u-Petrarch wayengazi malunga ne-sublimation-ukuguqulwa kwamandla ngokwesini kwimveliso yendalo okanye enye into, "eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kuluntu." Kulabo abangaqapheli izinto ezizenzekelayo, ndiya kudibanisa ezinye iinkcukacha. Xa ndifunyenwe kwisiko lezemidlalo ndachukunyiswa kukuba umntu wam onothando wamfilimu wafunda khona. Kamva, emva kokumbonisana naye, ndayifaka le nqaku kwiphephandaba - kwaye ke ndafumana indawo yendawo yokuhlala. Kwaye emva koko, ndabhala ngokuthanda kwam intombazana, esekelwe kuyo i-movie eyadutshulwa, eyayiqala ukulungelelanisa imisebenzi yam ... Nantsi imbali emfutshane yokuguqula uthando olungaphumeleli kwimisebenzi ephumelelayo. Ukuba kunjalo, unokuthi uthando aluphumelelanga?
Xa uvakalelwa uthando (ngenxa yokungahambi kakuhle kwimiba yemfihlo ye-platonic uthando) alithathi ixesha kunye namandla, ngokuqhelekileyo uchithe ubabini ngokufanelekela uthando-ukuzithucula, ukunyakaza. Ndiyazi intombazana leyo, ngenxa yokulangazelela ukusondela kwisifundo sePlato, ikwazi ukwenza umsebenzi omtsha kwaye ifikelele kwiindawo eziphakamileyo kuyo. Kwaye ngandlela-thile kwindlela ayeyithandayo yayithatyathwa yintando yenyama - kwelinye indoda ... Kodwa zonke iziphumo zakhe zahlala kunye naye.
Kalula unako ukuboleka imali kuye xa kunyanzelekile, kukunye naye ukuba atshintshe iiprojekthi zekhishini ngokukhawuleza, kukuthi uthetha "intliziyo entliziyweni" ekhitshini kunye nemidaniso kuzo zonke iiholide ezidibeneyo (umyeni wakhe akayithandi ukudansa). Ukusuka kuyo, ufumana rhoqo kunye nokutya okwenkqileyo kumfazi: ukuncoma, ukuvuya, ukuziva ukuba uyamkelekile (konke okukhawuleza okanye kamva ukuyeka ukukhwaza amadoda). Kwaye, ukugweba ngento yokuba, ukutshintsha imihlakazi enamagxa amaninzi, umlindi uhlala ethembekile kwintando enye ye-platonic, unelisekile ngalolu khetho - i-knight yenkosikazi enhle kunye nomqondiso "wokukhanya". Apha wena kwaye uthande, nobuhlobo, kunye nezoshishino, kunye nokuthuthumela komphefumlo, kwaye isazela siyacaca, kwaye isondo kwicala lokujongana nomntu ongaphazamisayo. Kwaye into enesichukuphuku into enokuyenza ngokusondeleyo kwiminyaka yobuhlobo obunjalo kukuba kulala. Eyona nto ibhetele, yonke into iya kuhlala, njengokuba kunjalo, ngokugqithiseleyo, ukuphazamisa "mhlawumbi" ekhona kwimoko yomfanekiso omnandi, kuya kuba yinto ehlambalaza "ngokuqinisekileyo ayiyiyo", eqinisekiswa yinyaniso enobungozi neyonyani.
Kwaye ekupheleni - enye i-platonic "plus". Ngomnyaka wamashumi omithathu wobomi bam, ngokukhawuleza ndaqonda ukuba ndiya kuthandana ngokupheleleyo nabantu ukuba andinakuvuyela. Ngokuphambene noko, umzimba wam, zonke iimvakalelo ezisixhenxe kunye nefantasy zivuyisayo emehlweni ezidalwa ezidalwa ezingenakufanelwa ubomi obonwabileyo kunye: zincinci, zibophezeleke, zithandeka, zithandana, zizinqwenela (nje ngothando lwam kuqala lwefilimu!).
Ngokuqala ndazimela ngokukhawuleza ukuba ndihlangane, okokugqibela andingathandi. Wahlala ukuhlala ekhaya aze abukele iTV ... Le ndawo apho uthando lwe-platonic kubalingisi befilimu abavavanywa kwiminyaka emininzi beza kuhlangulwa. Kulula ukuthandana nomdlali! Nangona edlala umfanekiso womntu omkhulu, onomusa, olula kwaye ocacileyo ongeyithandiyo - yonke imboni yefilimu, umgcini-skrini, umculi wokwenza izinto, umlawuli usebenza ukwenza ukuba uthandane naye. Ekuqaleni kwakufana nemidlalo: kodwa ngaba ndingayitshintsha indlela endiyithandayo kunye nesitokisi kumnye umntu? Kwavela, ndiyakwazi, ukuba "umdlalo omhle" udlalwa, umzekelo, nguBrendan Fraser ...
Ngendlela , umhlobo wam omhle uthi umyeni wam ufana naye. Andiyicingi njalo. Kodwa le nguqulo, ewe, iyafaneleka ukufundisisa. Kuvela ukuba xa ngaba neshumi elinesine ndiza kuthanda i-Kalyagin, ngaba ndihlala ndifuna amadoda amancinci, anamafutha? Yaye ukuba unina okhaliphile ufuna ukufaka intombazana yakhe inxaxheba kwisimo esifanelekileyo somntu, ngaba kufuneka abeke iifilimu zakhe kunye noRussell Crow noKevin Costner beselula?
Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kuphelile ukuba ndihlolisise le ngcamango kumava ami. Kodwa ukuba ndibe nentombi, ngokuqinisekileyo ndiya kuqhubeka nale nqaku.