Ukuze udibanise nokuba yintoni ibhinqa elimileyo okanye indlela yokuphakamisa ukuzithemba, kufuneka uqale wazi zonke izinto ezinzulu, apho sifuna ukukunceda khona. Sinikela ngamanyathelo athile okunokukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba ungubani, kwaye ngubani oza kuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwakho.
Intshayelelo: ukuzihlola nokuzibonakalisa.
Ngokweengqondo ze-psychologists ezivela eHarvard, ezi ngcamango zombini zifana nentsingiselo yazo, zihluke kakhulu phakathi kwazo. Ukuzonwabisa okuqhelekileyo okujolise ekuphakanyeni ukuzithemba, eqinisweni, kukhokelela kwiziphumo ezichasene ngokupheleleyo. Siyazibeka ngokwethu ngenxa yethu yonkqantosi kunye nokuphumelela, kwaye isiphumo sethu sonke singabakho ngaphantsi komyinge. Ukuhlonipha - amandla omntu ukuba athathe ngokuchanekileyo, kokubili okubi nokulungileyo-akuxhomekeke kwimpumelelo kunye nokusilela. Ibhinqa elinokuzithemba lizithanda ukuba ngubani. Uvavanyo olungcono lokuzithemba luzijonga indlela oziphendulela ngayo. Uziva unqabileyo, ngoko ungazithembi. Khawucinge ukuba umntu ohlonelwa kakhulu kuwe udumisa ulwazi lwakho oluhle malunga netafile yokuphindaphinda. Akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kuvuya. Kwaye iindawo ezingaphezulu apho uphakamileyo kwaye ungenakho ukuncoma, ngaphantsi kokugxeka kwaye kunzima ukukulimaza. Ngendlela, into ebangel 'umdla kukuba abantu banyukile ukuzithemba, ngokungafani nabanikazi bokuzithemba okukhulu, abanamathuba okuba bazive benetyala, banobuhlungu baze baxineke.
Ukuba ufuna ukuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye uqonde "I" yakho, ukuphulaphula iminqweno yakho, amanqanaba asixhenxe alandelayo oqeqesho uya kunceda ukwenza oku.
Isigaba esisodwa: ukulungiswa.
Ukugqiba isivakalisi: "Ukuba ndiyifumene nomdla omkhulu, ngoko ...". Ngokuqinisekileyo akucingi, ngokukhawuleza, kufuneka ubhale amagama amathandathu (ubuncinane). Lo msebenzi ufanelekile ukwenza kabini ngosuku ngemini emithathu. Emva koko kufuneka ufunde uluhlu olubangelwayo. Siyabulela oku, uza kukwazi ukuzijonga ngombono ohluke ngokupheleleyo, ohleliyo, njengommiselo, ongaboniyo kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla. Umgaqo ngolu hlobo: ngokuhlwa, ukugxila kwisimo esithile, uyaziphoqelela ukuba uye kwiinjongo kulo lonke usuku.
Isigaba sesibini: ukususa ubudlelwane obubi.
Apha ungabuza: "Uthetha ubuhlobo obunjani?". Kwaye malunga nokujongana nomgxeki wakho wangaphakathi, lowo uhlala efunga xa wenza into engalunganga ngoluvo lwakhe. Kwabo bakuxelela phambi kwesibuko: "Andizange ndidingeke ukuba sidle isidlo sakusasa, kwakhona sisidle isonka ...". Ngaba ucinga ukuba eli lizwi langaphakathi ozipapashelayo? Akunjalo. Emva kwakho konke, uphendulela kuwe "wena": "O wena, inkomo enqatha" okanye "isidalwa esivila," kunye nawe ngokwakho mhlawumbi uthi: "Yeyintombazana engumfana namhlanje!". Akunjalo, ngokungathi awukwazi ukuzihlonela uze ufunde ulwimi lwaseJapan, awukwazi ukukhulula umzimba, awukwazi ukuthenga ingubo kwi "Dior" yakho. Ngaba uyayithanda intombi yakho ngenxa yokuba uthetha isiTaliyane esipheleleyo? Akunjalo. Ewe, ukuba umnumzana wakho ubonise i-minuses yakho, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kubelana naye. Ngoko "nejaji langaphakathi" kufuneka wenze okufanayo. Kuphela akufanele usebenze kwiimvo zakhe, kwaye uya kuqonda ukuba akukho nto uyenzayo naye.
Isigaba sesithathu: ukwazi ngokwakho.
Njalo ukukholisa umntu, uzama ukugxininisa kwiimpawu zakho ezilungileyo. Kodwa kutheni uzifihla wena kwaye ungaziqhenyanga ngezinto ozenzayo? Ukuze ukhulise ngaphakathi kwakho, kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuzisa intlekele ebomini bakho. Ngokomzekelo, kwiingxabano nabahlobo bakho, akudingeki ukwesaba ukukhusela ingcamango yokuba akukho mntu uxhasa ngaphandle kwakho. Okanye, emva kokufunda inqaku eliyithandayo kwiphephancwadi, musa ukukhawuleza ukuguqula iphepha, kodwa zibuze ukuba ucinga ntoni ngalo.
Isigaba sesine: ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo ngamazwi.
Ukubhala phantsi iingcamango zakho kwiphepha yinto ebalulekileyo. Thatha ingxaki ukubhala incwadi yothando. Cacisa ukuba yintoni eyenza ukuba ube mnandi kakhulu kwaye unomtsalane. Ngokuqinisekileyo uya kufumana amaxesha angama-12. Ngendlela, malunga neziphene ezincinci ezenza ukuba ungafani nabanye, kufuneka uphinde ukhankanye. Mane ubhale malunga nokuba ungubani, kwaye kungekhona malunga nento oyenzayo. Ngombulelo kulo msebenzi, kulula ukuqonda ukuba umfazi ufanelekile, okanye kunoko, kwaye uguqule ukusilela kwakho zibe yizinto ezintle.
Inyathelo lesithandathu: nikela izipho.
Ukuba njengezipho ezingakhange zikhuthazwe ngokwabo ziyakwazi ukuzithembela kumfazi. Into eyona nto kukuba izi ziko akufanele zithuthuzele, kodwa nje uvuyo. Qalisa imihla ngemihla ngcamango yinto emnandi ngayo, ufuna ukuyenza namhlanje kunye nendlela onokuzikholisa ngayo.
Isigaba sesithandathu: umva wokonwaba.
Umzimba wakho ulangazelela ukuthandwa - ulusu lwekhanda okanye izinwele ezithandekayo. Kodwa iisentimitha ezingaphezulu kunye neekhilogram apha azidlali naluphi na indima - kunye nenqaku. Zibazise kunye nomzimba wakho, xa wenza okuthandayo: mamela umculo ozithandayo, udansa. Yenza ngokucokisekileyo, uzive ingoma yakho ngentliziyo yakho. Khumbula ukuba njengokwezesondo, okokuqala uzama ukuqaphela umzimba wakho, kwaye emva kokuvalelwa kwemizwa uba sisondelelana komnye nomnye. Kuphela ngale ndlela, ngokuzi ngokwakho nokwamkela ubunzulu bakho njengokuba kunjalo, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye uqale ukuzihlonela.
Isigaba se-7: wena ngokwakho.
Hlala nje, zithande ngokuzeleyo kunye nexesha elide, kwaye ujonge gqitha! Ndikholelwe, ufanelekile kakhulu, ngoko ke uyisebenzise rhoqo. Khawukwazi ukuvavanya kakuhle iimpawu zakho kunye namakhono akho! Inhlanhla!