Xa udibana nabalumni, nawuphi na umbuzo umbuzo wokuqala: "Utshatile?". Kwaye emva koko, into ehlaselayo, musa ukubuza malunga neendawo eziphakamileyo kunye nempumelelo, kungekhona malunga nempumelelo kwi-career, kodwa kuphela malunga nayo.
Kodwa lo bubomi, kwaye lo mfazi uzimisele ukuba neentsapho, abantwana, ukuqhubela uluntu. Yilezi zigaba ukuba impumelelo yayo ibalwa. Yaye ukuba emva kokugqweswa kwi-10, 20 okanye kwiminyaka engama-30 ayikho nto, baqala ukusibelelana naye. Baye bathuzela ngobumnandi, bevuyiswa yintlungu yomnye umntu, okanye baqala ukunikela iinkonzo zabo, bayabubula bekhala. Njengoko ufuna ukuzithulisa, ngexesha elifanayo libonisa ubungakanani bakho, ngoko ufuna ukuchuma wonke umntu kwi-belt.
Ingxaki ayifanelekanga iqanda elidliwayo, ekuqalekeni. Kwaye kwiimbuzo ezingabonakaliyo kunye nezingenakunyameko kufuneka uzingxube, kwaye ungayithobeli. Emva kwakho konke, ekugqibeleni, konke kukuchaphazela kwaye akukho mntu, kubomi bakho. Kodwa into edabukisayo kukuba uzibuze lo mbuzo, kwaye ke awukwazi ukuzikhohlisa kwaye awukwazi ukuhamba apho. Ukuba sele useneminyaka engama-30 ubudala, usenayo intsapho, ke oko kukufumanisa ukuba uyayifaka.
Iplanethi yabasetyhini abangashadile
Izazi zenzululwazi zithi iplanethi yethu iya kudala ibe yiplanethi yabasetyhini abangatshatanga, le nto ibonakala ibe yinto enkulu kakhulu, eyona yedwa yedwa. Kwaye oku kubamabhinqa, abaneminyaka yabo idlule iminyaka engamashumi amane. Kwaye kukho izizathu ezifanelekileyo.
Ngokwezibalo, inani labafazi lidlula amadoda. Ngokweminyaka, ikhefu liyakhula, kuba abantu banomdla wokuphila obuncinane, kunye nokufa okuphezulu. Ngokomzekelo, eRussia kukho izigidi ezili-10 zabantu abancinci kunabesifazana, e-Ukraine, abafazi abane baxoxela indoda enye. Kwaye manani a manani awakhulumiyo ngabasetyhini.
Amadoda amaninzi aneemikhwa emibi, iingxaki kwindawo yokuhlala, impilo, umvuzo, umsebenzi, kunye nomthetho, njalo njalo. Ukukhula okusemgangathweni kunye noluntu lwabafazi abandakanyekayo kwimpilo yezobupolitika kunye nezopolitiko, ukuphishekela amathuba kunye namalungelo alinganayo, ukuzimela kwemali kukukhokelela kwindleko yokwanda kwamabhinqa. Ukuhlala uhlakulela abasetyhini banamhlanje abakwazi ukunciphisa ngokungenammiselo ibha kwaye bafuna ukubona kumadoda, inqanaba elifanayo, mhlawumbi liphezulu.
Ukufuduka kwamanzi kubemi kwiidolophu, apho indlela yokuphila iqhubela phambili kumgama wabantu ukusuka komnye, ukuya kwedwa, kwaye iphendulela ilungu elibi kwisihlwele. Ngokutsho kweengxelo zemibare emitsha, amava obomi babesetyhini abangatshatanga aphandwa, kwaye bafika kwisigqibo sokuba ithuba lomfazi oneminyaka engamashumi amane ubudala ukutshata li-20%. Kodwa akufuneki ukuba ukholelwe amanani-manani, kufuneka udibane nenwaba yakho. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kunokukuphazamisa ekubeni ungapheleli kunye neengcinga ezibuhlungu. Kwaye qaleni ubeke ingqalelo indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo ngeleyile "intombazana endala."
Ziziphi iintlobo zabasetyhini abangabodwa?
1. Abo "abaqhubi" kulo mbandela, kwaye babhekiselele ekubeni bangatshatanga, njengento ethile yexeshana. Bathi abazange bahlangane nomntu onokudibanisa nabo ubomi bakhe.
2. Abo bakhala emlanjeni, balungisa, baxakeke, amava kunye njalo njalo. I-pathologically bafuna ukufukamela ngakumbi kwaye bayesaba, bayangena kwi-shell yabo kwaye baphinde bangene kwintlanzi.
3. Imigaqo kwaye yaqinisekisa ama-feminists axakekile kwimisebenzi yabo kwaye ngenjongo yokuphepha umtshato. Bajonga abantu ukuba babe ngabantu abalinganiselwe, abangcolileyo, abaphantsi, abangafanelanga ukunikwa kwengqalelo yabesifazane. Kwaye kwangexesha elifanayo, oku kungabathinteli ekusebenziseni ukuxhaswa ngokwesondo, njengabaxhasi, kumsebenzi ophantsi.
Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba bahlelwa njani kwaye babelane ngayo le ngxaki, inyaniso ihlala ukuba aba bafazi bengatshatanga. Kwaye, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yiliphi iqela eliyiyo, kufuneka babeke ukuvakalisa kwabo, indlela yokufudukela kwinjabulo. Ibhinqa ngalinye linalo "i-potion".
Unokuwususa njani unesizungu?
Ungazikhohlisi.
Ukuze ungathethi esidlangalaleni, lo okanye loo ntokazi, yonke into efanayo ibhinqa eliqhelekileyo lifuna ukuba nomntu othandekayo, abantwana, intsapho kwaye ujabule kunye nomthandayo.
Abasetyhini, bazikhusela ngokumelene neengxaki zokuhlaselwa kunye nokuhlaselwa, bathanda ukucinga ingcamango ngovuyo lwabo ngaphandle komntu. Bakugxininisa ukuba abafuni ukutshata ngaphandle komgaqo. Abayidingi amadoda, bafumana iingxaki. Ekubeni batyebile, banelisekile, baphumelele, njalo njalo. Enyanisweni, konke oku buqhetseba, ubunyulu abuzuzanga ukwaneliseka, alukhuthazi okanye kumhlobise loo ntokazi. Ngamanye amaxesha, nabasetyhini abazimeleyo bafuna ukuthandwa, kungekhona abakhululekile, abantu ababuthathaka kunye nabathembekileyo. Nangona kanye kanye ebomini babo baxhaphaza ubuchopho babo kumbuzo onjalo: "Kutheni unenhlanhla kubantu?".
Ukwandisa lonke ihlabathi
Shiya umkhombe wakho, kuba unethuba lokuguqula iflyflyfly, de kube ngokwabo babe ngugogo. Abo batyhini abajonga ukuxilwa kwabo bexeshana, benze konke ukuze bakwazi ukuwuphelisa, banamathuba amaninzi okuba banolonwabo kunabo baye bangena kwiqula baze babeke isiphambano.
Ewe, kunjalo, kukho inzuzo eninzi: umntu akafanele ahlupheke kwizenzo ezimbi nakwezinye iintsilelo zabantu, akudingeki ukuba kuxhomekeke kuye nabani na, isabelo, akudingeki ukubalalele nabani na, akukho mntu ulungisayo, owenzayo, okanye owenzayo.
Wena uyiyinkosikazi yobomi bakho kwaye ube ngowakho. Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba xa utshata, ulahlekelwa yithuba elifanelekileyo, ukuba ungaba njani? Gwema ukuthandana, ngenxa yokwesaba ukuba yinto yokudlala kwizandla zabanye kunye nokufumana imigibe? Ewe, awufuni ukuba abo bajikelezayo bafunde "abangahlali", "i-narcissistic", "inqabileyo", "igxininiswe"? Emva koko, nayiphi na indoda iya kufuna ukudibana nawe, kwaye ufumanise ubutyebi obungabonakali bomphefumlo wakho. Ezi festile ngosuku lomlilo awuyi kufumana.
Indlela yokufumana indoda?
Musa ukukhangela
Ngaba awuzenzele inkqubo yokonwaba kwakho? Kuya kuba yintloni ukukholelwa ukuba iya kuvela esibhakabhakeni, kulabo baqhawulayo ngezinyembezi kwi-sipap operas, lazybones? Kodwa sihlala phi inkulungwane? Musa ukuhamba ezandleni zakho. Kufuneka uqhubele phambili ukuhlangabezana nesiphelo sakho. Into emele ihlale iqhutywa, ifunwa.
Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokuziqhelanisa, nangona "zimbambo ezingenasiphelo, ozoyika ukugxina iipumlo ngaphandle kwegobolondo elingenakufikeleleka. Ezi zinxibelelwano ze-Intanethi ezingapheliyo, ukufika komhlaba, isakhiwo segadi, umsebenzi, ukuphumla, imidlalo, iiklabhu ezenzelwe. Kwaye uluhlu olunjalo luya kuqhubeka kwaye luqhubeka, luya kuba ngumnqweno wakho. Abaninzi banamahloni ukufuna lwabo ulonwabo, bacinga ukuba kunzima ukulungelelanisa ubomi bobuqu.
Kodwa ngaba le ndawo ehlambulukileyo yenze ukuba uvuyo kuwe? Ngaba kukho nawuphi na umntu oziva ngcono kunokuba uthobekile, kwaye ukuba akunjalo, kuba kutheni uhleli ekhaya? Okanye ngaba uneminyaka engama-2 engaphezulu?
Musa ukuxhonywa ekubeni wedwa
Abanye banenzondelelo beza kwishishini, bajoyine i-marathon, ukuba bayayikhohlwa ngobomi ngokubanzi kunye nobukho obuqhelekileyo. Ungagxininisi kule ngxaki, iya kuyenza ingozi. Musa ukucinga ngokubaluleka kwayo, kungcono ukuvumela ukuba kube ngumdlalo, kwaye ke, ukuba kusebenza, kuya kuba kuhle, kodwa kungabi kuhle kakhulu, kuba kushiya ukulindela kunye nethemba kwixabiso. Ubomi kufuneka baphathwe ngokulula kwaye ke kuya kuba mnandi kwaye kulula.
Ubomi bomntu, oku kubalulekile, kuba yonke into ibonakaliswa njalo kwimpilo yakho, umfanekiso, ubuso. Kwaye kuya kuba ngumphakathi, oza kukuphinda uhlambele ngemibuzo.
Sebenza kuwe
Zonke ezi ngxaki zabesetyhini, ezihlobene nobudlelwane namadoda kunye nokungabikho kwintsapho, zonke ziphathwa ngokuncedisisa ngokuzicwangcisisa, i-yoga, ezemidlalo, ukutya, iincwadi ezihlakaniphile kunye neengqondo zengqondo. Lo msebenzi wangaphakathi wenza abafazi banonwabe kwaye bahambelane, kungakhathaliseki ukuba udale intsapho, okanye kude kubekho into eyenzekayo, nokuba kukho indoda eseduze okanye ayikho. Imfihlelo eyona nto ingaphakathi kwindoda yabasetyhini, kwaye isitshixo asikho esikhwameni somntu, kodwa ephaketheni lakho.
Indlela yokujamelana nesizungu
Xa ufika ekhaya, ushiywe wodwa. Kwaye i-gray melancholy ephoqelekile ihlanganiswe kwi-cocoon. Umabonakude sele sele ilungu lentsapho, uthetha nezikhululo ezithandayo zerediyo. Ukulungele ukungabi noluvo lonwabo, ukujongana naluphi na amacebo. Ukuzixhalaba kukuzibonela ngokwakho kunye nolwazi olukhethekileyo lwamava. Ubunono buzalwa emphefumlweni, esi siva, amava. Emva koko, ehlabathini lokwenene sizungezwe ngabantu kwaye ubuncinci sizungezwe ngabamelwane, osebenza nabo emsebenzini, endleleni yethu yokuhamba nabaqhelekileyo-ngokuhlangana imihla ngemihla. Ukuxhwaba luhlobo lwamava kunye nokwazisa njengabantu abangenamakhaya, belahlekile okungabalulekiyo, banqatshelwe, balibalekile, baqeshwe, bashiywe ngabantu bonke. Ziziphi izizathu ezikuloo ndlela kuluntu olunomdaka, ibhinqa liziva lodwa.
Izizathu zokuba uziva unesizungu
1. Ukulindela okwenziweyo
Kukho imilinganiselo yethu, ayisoloko ihambelana nemigangatho yabanye. Kubonakala ngathi singathandeki, sisabisa, sisisidenge. Ukukhangela i-superman efanelekileyo ingadluliselwa ixesha elide, kwaye ingozi yokuhlala yedwa ikhula ngokukhawuleza.
Sethu isisombululo. Akukho imfuneko ukukhangela umhlobo ofanelekileyo okanye umntu ofanelekileyo, emva kokuba zonke iinjongo azikho. Ngokuqhelekileyo umfanekiso ongcono awusekelwe kumava okwenene, kodwa uveliswa kwiifoto, umculo, iifilimu, iincwadi. Kule meko, uxhulumano oluphukileyo kunye nehlabathi lokwenyaniso alunakucacisa ukuba kweli hlabathi aba bantu abanokuba ngababenxibelelwano abalungileyo, abathandi, abahlobo njengamaqhawe kwifilimu. Kuyo nawuphi na umntu, unokufumana inamba enkulu yezinto ezingalunganga, kwaye ukuba ugxininise kubo, uya kutshabalalisa uqhagamshelo. Isisombululo esihle kakhulu kukugxila kwiimpawu ezintle zobungqina.
2. Ukwesaba ukukhishwa, kwaye ngenxa yoko, ukwesaba ukunxibelelana
Ukwesaba ukukhishwa, ukwesaba - konke oku kusekelwe ekuziphatheni okuphantsi. Aba bantu bayesaba ukulahlwa, ngenxa yokwesaba ukungabi nantoni. Bakhela udonga lwaseTshayina phakathi kwabo kunye nabantu abakujikelezile. Ukuba ucinga ukuba awufanelanga uthando, oko akuyi kuba. Abantu abanesizungu abanakuyicombulula nayiphi na ishishini okanye impikiswano yabo, bavumelane ngento ethile, banenkinga xa befuna ukubiza umnxeba, abakwazi ukuzonwabisa nakwiinkampani.
Sethu isisombululo. Kubalulekile ukunxibelelana, ngokungathi ungeyithandeki kwaye inzima. Ukuba ungathethi igama, umntu uza kukuthanda njani? Ngaba kunengqondo ukuba uhlale ekhaya? Emva koko, indoda eyintloko ayibonakali kwaye ayihambisani kakuhle phantsi kombhede. Akunakuze wenze sengathi ungumqhawe ovela kwibhayisikili eyaziwayo, ngaphambi kokuba eneminyaka engama-40 ubudala, ekhangele phantsi kombhede ezama ukufumana indoda, kwaye emva kweminyaka engama-40 yabeka enye ibhedi, ukwenzela ukuba amathuba okumazi avele.
Akukho mntu wanciphisa ii-nightclub kunye neebhayisiki ze-karaoke, igym, ibhuku lokubhukuda kwaye uhamba nabahlobo. Abaninzi baqhelana kwi-intanethi. Le nto ayisoloko isisitshixo ekuphumeleleni, ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda afuna ulwalamano ngobusuku obu-1 nje. Abantu abaninzi banamahloni ukuya kwindawo kawonkewonke okanye kwisitrato, kodwa kwi-intanethi abesabi ukudlala ngothando, banobubele, abamesabi ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo. Kufanelekile ukukhetha ngokucophelela kubahlobo bakho, akudingeki uxhomeke entanyeni ye-blonde yokuqala enhle kwisithombeni, kuba uthe unomdla kakhulu kwiifoto. Ukuba ucinga ukuba awufanelanga uthando, ngoko akukho mthando.
3. Ukungafuni ukunxibelelana
Abantu abanjalo bathanda kwaye bafuna ukunxibelelana, kodwa ngokukhawuleza balahlekelwa umdla kwaye bakhathele. Uvakalelwa kukuba ulunci lusekelwe kwisimo sengqondo, kwiimpawu zobuqu, oko kukuthi, kwiimeko ezithintekayo ezinzima ukulungisa.
Zithande ngokwakho, phila ngokuvisisana nehlabathi lakho langaphakathi, ngokuvisisana nawe ngokwakho, uziphilele. Ngeke kube lula. Kwabaqalayo, kuya kubakho ukuqaphela umhlaba, njengokuba kubonwa ngabasebenzi abahlala bexhamla emva kweminyango yabo, ngamehlo oogogo babo, abanomdla ukuba kutheni uneminyaka engama-30 ubudala ngaphandle koonyana kwaye ungatshatanga? Thatha ingalo yeziqinisekiso kunye nokuqeqesha ngokuzenzekelayo, zibale ukuba zikhona. Zichitha ixesha lakho, qaphela izinto ozithandayo, ukuze usuku lonke luzaliswe yimvakalelo emihle. Ukuba awufuni ukuhlamba izitya, ungahlambululi, akukho mntu uya kuwubona, kwaye oku kuhamba phambili kunye nesizungu. Unokuphulaphula umculo, funda incwadi yakho oyintandokazi, uthathe ibhafu elifudumeleyo, uthathe uhambo ngaphambi kokuba ulale, bukela ibhayisikobho yakho oyintandokazi.
Kumntu osasazela ukuvisisana, kwinqanaba elincinci, abantu bayolula kuye. Ubumnandi obuhle, ukunyaniseka, ukunyamezela okunyanisekileyo nobubele akusayi kubashiya abantu abangabandakanyekanga. Ukuba iingcamango zakho zihlala zizilonda, ngoko-ke ingqungquthela enobungozi ayinakwenzeka. Buza umbuzo? Ngaba ubomi buya kuba buhle xa uhlala ngumgaqo "ukuba kungcono ukuba nomntu kunomnye?" Konke malunga nawe, kufuneka uguqulwe ukuze ungancedisi abanye, kodwa ukuba ubalekele kwedwa. Xa sithetha ukuba sodwa, oku kubonisa ukuba akukho "nkosana kwihashe elimhlophe." Sitshintsha indlela yakho yokuzimela kwaye uzibuze into oyifunayo ukuba utshintshe kuwe, ukuze ungabi yedwa. Kungcono ukulwa nomntu oyedwa.
Ukuzivocavoca kuya kunceda
1. "Isicelo"
Umqobo wezonxibelelwano kufuneka ususwe ngokwemiqathango yonyango lokutshatyalaliswa. Qalisa ukuzivocavoca ngesicelo.
Buza imibuzo kubadluli, njengokungathi uyadlula, ngengozi. Fumana amagama alula.
"Unokundinceda?" ... "Ndifuna ukukubuza" okanye "Kuya kuba mnandi ukuba uncede," ngelixa ucacisa ukuba awuyi kukhubeka xa unqatshelwe. Ezi zicelo eziqaphelekileyo, xa uyazi kwangaphambili ukuba uya kunqatshwa, kwaye kufuneka nje uzifundele ukuhluleka, kwaye kusengaphambili kufuneka udibanise kuyo. Akuyi kubakho nentukuthelo, ayiyi kuba nobunzima bokunxibelelana.
2. "Usuku lomzabalazo onxamnye nokulondeka"
Khetha usuku ekupheleni komsebenzi, ungaba ngoLwesihlanu okanye ngoMgqibelo, xa unako ukufikelela ekusebenzeni ibhendi yakho oyintandokazi okanye kwiblabhu okanye umboniso, kwelinye igama apho uziva ukhululekile khona. Unenjongo yokudibanisa uncedo kunye nolonwabo, kwaye ungayi kuphulaphula kuphela okanye ukhangele, kodwa uqeqesho loqhagamshelwano. Hamba uye kumntu owamthandayo, kwaye ubuze ukuba uluphi uluvo lwakhe ngalo mcimbi. Kufuneka ukhumbule ngokumomotheka kwaye ugcine isimo sengqondo esihle.
3. Ukucamngca "Umlilo Wami"
Njengoko kungabonakali ngokungaqhelekanga, kufuneka ukulwe yodwa kunye nesizungu. Enye yeendlela ezifanelekileyo, kuya kugxininiswa, okujoliswe ekubuyeleni ukuvumelanisa nokufumana ingundoqo engaphakathi. Vala amehlo akho, cinga ukuba sele kusihlwa. Ushiye indlu uze uhambe epakini. Musa ukukhawuleza, zihambe nje. Ikhephu likhazimulayo kwiimitha zelanga, ecaleni kwendlela edibeneyo. Wayeka kwaye uyamthanda ikhephu. Phakamisa amehlo uze ubone izindlu ezineefestile ezikhanyayo, apho ukukhanya kukhanya. Kwaye kwifestile nganye ihlabathi elincinci.
Khawucinge ukuba ngaphakathi kwakho, kwakhona, ukukhanya kutsha. Inika uxolo olufudumele kunye nentuthuzelo. Kwaye ukuba okungazenzisiyo, kuya kutshisa ngokukhanya, okufudumele, okukhanyayo. UkuKhanya ilwimi lwangatye, ungayithatha ezandleni zakho, kwaye nantsi kukuphambi kwakho, ezandleni zakho. Mbulela ngoxolo nofudumele. Memezela ukukhanya kwaye uyibuyisele. Ngoku uya kuhlala ehleli nawe. Vula amehlo akho.
Ngoku siyazi indlela yokujamelana nesizungu akuyona intokazi. Yazi ukuba ubunyulu buzalwa emphefumlweni wakho. Ngoko, unokutshintsha.