Ukuba awubonanga umntu ekhwaza, oko kuthetha ukuba umfana wakho naye uhambelana nombono owamkelekileyo kwaye uyakholelwa ukuba akanalo ilungelo lokubonisa iinyembezi zakhe ukuze ungaboni njengobuthakathaka.
Enyanisweni, akukho phantsi kwabakho abantu abancinci ngezinye iinkhathi abangavumeli ukubala. Ukuba umntu akakwazi ukukhupha imvakalelo enamandla, oku akuthethi ngamandla omlingiswa, kodwa kunokuba kungabikho ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo. Enyanisweni, umntu kufuneka akhale xa ephosakeleyo okanye enzakele. Awuzange ucinge malunga nokuba kutheni abesifazane besenokuba neengxaki ezahlukeneyo zengqondo kunamadoda? Amantombazana angamaqabane angakwazi ukuphazamisa iimvakalelo zabo kunye neinyembezi aze aphelise ukuxinezeleka kwengqondo, kodwa abafana abazivumeli. Isiphumo kukuba baqokelela ngokwabo i-negative and hold back. Olu hlobo lukhokelela kwiingxaki nge-cardiovascular and nervous system. Ngoko ke, ukuba iqabane lakho lizama ukungazibonisi iimvakalelo zakhe, kungcono ukuzama ukumchazela ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo akuyona inzuzo ekhethekileyo. Ewe, uthanda amadoda anamandla, kodwa ngaphandle koko, ufuna ukuqonda ukuba okukuko akusiyo isifanekiso setye, kodwa umntu ophilayo.
Isizathu sokuba intombazana ayifuni ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakhe zininzi. Enyanisweni, ininzi yeengxaki zethu kunye neenkolelo zivela ebuntwaneni. Mhlawumbi isizathu sokuba loo mntu akafuni ukubonisa iinyembezi kukuba wayenomzali oqinileyo okhetha indlela yokwenza umzali. Amadoda anjalo, abanobuchule obunxulumene nemicimbi yezempi, afuna ukubona kwindodana yabo ngumntu ongenakuxinwa ongeke akhuselekiswe nayiphi na imicimbi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngakwesokunene le nto ilungileyo, kuba kulo mzekelo, indoda ayesabi naluphi na ubunzima bokuphila. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ootata baqinisekisa ukuba oonyana babo abanalo ilungelo lokuvakalisa iimvakalelo, phantsi kweemeko, ngaphandle koko uya kumdanisa uyise. Ukuba le nkwenkwana yayisakhala ngenxa yezizathu ezithile, uyise wayenokumsola ngenxa yokuthetha ngamanga okanye nokuba ngumzimba. Ngokwemvelo, loo mfundo ihlehliswa ngonaphakade kwaye ikhokelela ekukhuliseni, aba bantu bahlala benethemba lokuba xa umntu ebona iinyembezi zakhe, uya kudaniswa ngabantu abasondeleyo kwaye amfumane engenamandla.
Esinye isizathu esinokubangela ukuba abantu abazange babonise iinyembezi, kunokuba nolwalamano kunye noontanga babo beselula. Ngokwenene, aba bantu babekade bezolile kunye nabantwana basekhaya, ababenomdla kakhulu kubazali baze bakhuliswa ngobubele nokuqonda. Kodwa xa befika kuluntu, apho abantwana abaninzi bekhohlakele, aba bafana babonwa njengababuthathaka, bahlekisa, bahlekisa baze bawabethe. Ngokukodwa, aba bantu bahlazeka ngenxa yokukhala. Ayikho imfihlelo yokuba abafana abaninzi badibaniswa phantsi kweemeko ezinzima kwaye bakholelwa ukuba akunakwenzeka ukukhala kubafana. Enyanisweni, aba bantu bajonge nje kwaye bakholelwa ukuba umhlobo uya kuhleka iinyembezi zakhe, uzibambe. Kwaye xa umntu ebonisa ubuthathaka phambi kwabo, besaba ukubonakala bebuthathaka phambi kwenkampani, baqala ukucinezela indoda eyayingesabi ukunyaniseka. Bonke abafana bafuna ukuhlonipha phakathi koontanga. Kungenxa yoko, abaninzi baqala ukufihla iimvakalelo zabo, ukuze bangabonakali ngakumbi kunabanye baze bathethe iinyembezi, njengento ehlaziyileyo neyiyo. Nangona ekhulayo, abafana bayaqhubeka beqwalasela lo mzekelo wokuziphatha ngendlela echanekileyo kwaye bangaze babonakalise iimvakalelo, nangaphambi kwentombazana ethandekayo. Le ngcamango ifumaneke ingcinezelo ebuntwaneni, xa intombazana enhle kakhulu yayithandayo inamandla kunayo yonke inzima kakhulu, oko kuthetha, abafana ababi.
Ukongezelela kwezi zinto, zikho ezinye izizathu ezininzi ezinokubangela ukuba umntu osemncinci athathele iimvakalelo zakhe kwaye akalokothi abonise iimvakalelo ezinjengentlungu, intlungu kunye neinyembezi.
Indlela yokusebenza kule meko kwaye kulungele ukwenza nantoni na? Ewe, into yokuba umfana akayi kulila, akukho nto eyoyikisayo, kodwa, nangona kunjalo, amanye amantombazana ayesabisa kakhulu ukungabi noluvo lwengqondo. Amantombazana angazifumana iingxaki ngokwabo kwaye abone kule mpawu umntu engazi ukuba azive njani, ngoko ke uyamthanda. Enyanisweni, oku akukho konke. Nangona intombazana icela ubuwula, kodwa ke, umbuzo othanda kakhulu: kodwa uya kulila ukuba kukho into eyenzekayo kum, kwaye indoda ithi akayi kulila. Enyanisweni, oku akukho konke. Phantse yonke into intombazana inomsindo ngamazwi anjalo, nangona akufuneki ukwenza njalo. Enyanisweni, loo mntu uyazi ukuba uya kwenza into echasene nayo, kodwa akayikuqonda oku, kuba isenzo esinjalo siya kumbonisa ubuthathaka obukhulu. Akunabo bonke abafazi abazi ukuba intombazana ethandekayo kukuba ubuthathaka bukhulu kubo bonke abantu, ukuba kunzima ukulawula iimvakalelo kunye naye. Ngoko ke, akuyimfuneko ukubuza imibuzo enjalo kuwo onke, kwaye, ngaphezu koko, ukukholelwa kwiimpendulo ezinjalo. Mfuneko nje ukuba uqiniseke ngokuthe ngcembe umntu wakho ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe kuwe akuyona into engalunganga, into enokugwetywa.
Ukuba awuzange wambone umntu ekhala, ngoko uya kufuna inyanga ukuyikholisa ngenye indlela. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka nje uxoxe nendoda kwaye ubonise ngenyameko ukuba nayiphi na indoda eqinileyo, eyinyani inelungelo leemvakalelo. Ewe, oku akuthethi ukuba umntu osemncinci kufuneka agubungele yonke into. Kalula, kufuneka aqonde ukuba ukuba uyabuhlungu kakhulu kwaye unzima, unokukuxelela kwaye uphonsa zonke iimvakalelo zakhe. Umfana kufuneka aqaphele ukuba awusoze wagweba iinyembezi zesilisa, uya kuqonda kwaye uyamxhasa nayiphi na imeko.