Umzali ngamnye ufuna ukuzingca ngomntwana wakhe. Wonke umntu ubonakala becinga ukuba bonke abantwana ngabantwana, kwaye bakhethekileyo, abayingqayizivele, kunye neetalente ezintle. Mhlawumbi, akukho babazali kwimindeni enokwenza abangenakufisa umntwana wabo kakuhle, abazange baphuphe ukuba uphumelele ngaphezu kwabo.
Kutheni abazali bengayiqondi abantwana babo? Emva koko, yonke into iya kuqinisekisa ukuba abazali kunye nabantwana bayakwazi kakuhle ngokusemandleni abo? Okanye ukuqonda ngokwenene, ukunyamekela abazali kubazali - awananto?
Le ngcamango - "ukudibanisa"
"Hlanganisa" kwiqela elilodwa, ngokusoloko uqikelele amagama kunye nezenzo zomnye nomnye, abazali kunye nabantwana kuphela. Yiyo ndlela abafazi, izihlobo eziseduze, kunye nabahlala phantsi kophahla olufanayo "bakhula ndawonye". Oku kubangela ukuba abazali bangayiqondi abantwana babo.
Ukunyamekela ubomi kunye nempilo yengane, umnqweno wokumnceda, ukufunda ukuhamba kweli hlabathi lihlobene ngokusondeleyo nengqiqo yengqondo "yokudibanisa".
Ukudibanisa luhlobo lwentsebenziswano xa kungekho mida eyingqamaniso kwimbini, kwaye kukho indawo yokugwenxa phakathi kwabantu ababini - "unjalo, kwaye unjalo."
Eminye imizekelo ye-confluence: uthando, ukunyameka kwizinga eliphezulu, ihlelo lobuhlelo.
Ngoko, sele uqaphele ukuba kutheni abazali bengayiqondi abantwana babo - kuba abaqondi ukuba ngabanye. Ukusebenzisa ukucinga ngomntwana kwasekuqaleni, uyise kunye nonina bazimisele 'ukucinga' ngaye, into enokuyithanda kunye nendlela abantwana abaya kuba ngcono ngayo.
Ngamanye amaxesha kuthatha iifomu ezingenangqondo - ngendlela yokukhetha ngokucophelela umyeni okanye umtshakazi phantsi koyiko lokuxothwa kwintsapho, okanye ukufakwa kwesigxina "sokunene".
Ukuphulaphula - akuthethi "ukuva"
Siphulaphule umntwana wethu, phulaphula umlomo wakhe-kwaye okokuqala uqiqa ukuba uthetha ukuthini. Kodwa ukuba uhlawula ingqalelo kuyo, iimeko eziseleyo ziya kuhlala zingagqibekanga.
Isidlo seentsapho, uhambo oluthabathelwano loluntu, ukuya kwidolo, ukutyelela ugqirha, ukutyelela i-arhente karhulumente kunye nazo zonke iintlobo zeziganeko-zingaphi iimeko xa ufuna ukuhlangana kunye nokusombulula umbuzo omkhulu! Zingaphi indawo apho umama avela nabantwana!
Ngoko, kuzo zonke iindawo baphoqelelwa ukuba bahlule ingqalelo yabo: inxalenye kumntwana, inxaxheba kwisigqeba okanye ugqirha, inxaxheba kuye. AmaKhesari ayenene, abanako ukwenza izinto ezilishumi kanyekanye - ngaba ngubani o omama abantombazana.
Ihlabathi alifezekanga, kwaye asikwazi ukunikela lonke ixesha lethu kumntwana ngelixa elincinci kwaye sifuna ukuba sinake ingqalelo. Kodwa ngelo xesha, umkhwa wokuphulaphula umntwana wakho kwisiqingatha, awukhathaleli, awukhathaleli. " Ingaba umntwana ohlakaniphile angathini? "- abazali bacinga, baxube umntwana.
Yintoni abantwana bethu bathetha ngayo?
Enyanisweni, abantwana, nangona kwinqanaba lokuqala, kodwa baqonde abazali. Bayakwazi ukubamba into ephambili, ingakumbi ukuya kwiinkcukacha kunye nokucinga kwabantu abadala. Nangona kunjalo, abantu abadala abanaso ixesha lokuchaza iingcamango, imeko ngegama elilula.
Nangona ukhula kwaye uqonda ngakumbi, abantwana abanako ukulingana nabazali babo. Yingakho abazali bengayiqondi abantwana babo. Kodwa ke abantwana abanako ukulingana nabazali babo - le nxalenye isisiseko seengqondo.
Umntwana usitshela ngeminqweno yakhe, kodwa abazali bazinzile kwaye abanakulungele ukudibanisa kunye "no-ignoramuses" (kungakhathaliseki ukuba bangakanani ubudala, amabini okanye amabini). Yingakho abazali abangaqondi abantwana babo kaninzi. Ngenxa yoko zonke iintlekele - "akazange ahambe apho sathi kuye" kwaye, ngakolunye uhlangothi, "andiqondi, abaphulaphuli."
Akukho nto eyoyikisayo
Kuvela ukuba uluntu luye lwacwangciswa ukuba abazali bokuqala banokugqiba yonke into yabantwana babo, kwaye ke abantwana, xa bekhula, baxhasa amalungelo abo okuzimela. Emva koko, kuthini, ukuba akunjalo, ngaba ukuhlolwa kwabo kuhlolwe?
Kwimvelo, yonke into iyalwa ngokuvisisana. Yaye ixesha apho abantwana banokuzinyamekela - oku kanye ngexesha xa abazali bebeka "iintonga kwivili." Oku kufana nendlela esendle, isizukulwana esikhulileyo siqhubela iifubhi ngaphandle kwenyenyana , ukuze zifunde ukuhamba. Kwaye ngaphandle kokuba "ukubetha", intlungu yokungaqondi kakuhle kwihlabathi kunye nabazali ababizayo kakhulu - iyimfuneko.
Ukuqonda - umlinganiselo wobudlelwane obulinganayo
Kuphela abo bazimeleyo banokuqonda. Indlela eyahlukileyo yobomi, indlela yokufumana kunye ngokubanzi - "kungeniswe kwintsimbi kwaye inike", kodwa wonke umntu wayifumana. Kuphela "phakathi kwabantu" abanjalo, abantu ngabanye kuzo zonke iinkalo banokuqonda nokuhlonipha. Yaye kunye nabazali, kuya kuvela, kwaye kude kube sekupheleni kosuku kuya kuba nobudlelwane "banika imbongolo emlonyeni kwaye banikeze imiyalelo yokuphila."
Ukuvalelana ubudlelwane nabantu abasondeleyo kuyiphupha elihlala liyiyo kuphela. Uhlobo lwegazi alubhekiseli ukusondela emoyeni. Ngako oko, musa ukucaphukisa xa uninzi lwabantu bomthonyama - abazali - abaziqondi abantwana. Zineendlela ezahlukeneyo zexabiso, ezinye iindlela. Kufuneka ube yedwa kwaye ube nombulelo. Abazali - abantwana, ngamathuba abasebenzisa. Kwaye nabantwana - abazali, ngenxa yeyona nto ibonakala ngayo kweli hlabathi.