Ngaphambi kokuba senze intsapho kwaye sisayine izatifikethi zomtshato, asiyi kukhululeka ukufunda nokusayina imiyalelo ngokucacileyo indlela "yokusebenzisa" ngayo ukuze singabalimazi kwinkqubo yokuxhatshazwa. Kwaye kungcono ngaphambi kokuya kwiofisi yokubhalisa ukuba uthathe uviwo kwaye ufumane idiploma, uqinisekisa ukuba siphumelele ngempumelelo i-psychology yobudlelwane beentsapho kwaye silungele umtshato. Kutheni ukwakha izindlu, ukuyila iindiza kwaye uqhube imoto ngaphandle "kwinqanaba" akunakwenzeka, kodwa ukwakha intsapho, ukudibana ubudlelwane nokulawula isigqibo somnye umntu - unako? Ngaba le nto ayixanduva? Hayi! Kunoko, ulwalamano olungenakulungelelaniswa kwintsapho elilodwa ekugqibeleni luba yintlekele engapheliyo kulo lonke uluntu. Kodwa ngaba uluntu luyakhathalela ngale nto? Ngokubanzi, hayi! Nangona kunjalo, intsapho nganye iyazinyamekela.
Izikhalazo kunye kunye nokuhlambalaza emva kokuthandana ngokuthandana kwabantu - ngenxa yenkambo ephosakeleyo "yentsapho yintsapho." Ngenxa yoko, iminyaka yokuqokelela amabango, ukungaqondani, nokungaqondani, kukho ubunzima beentlalontle apho intsapho iqhuma khona. Ngokwezibalo, amadoda kaninzi awayeki ukutshisa ukutshisa. I-psyche yabo ayinakuxhathisa ingxabano kwaye ayikho yonke into ecacileyo yokucacisa ubudlelwane. Ngako oko, umnyango ngaphesheya kwentsapho ivala ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Ingaba baya kwiindlovu zabo, kubahlobo, koomama, okanye nje ukukhahlela amanxeba abo kwindawo ethile kwindawo engathathi hlangothi, sinokuqiqa. Ukufumanisa ukuba kutheni-kubangelwa-balala njani, sibaleka kwiibhola, kubahlobo-ntombi, kubazali. Kodwa mhlawumbi sifanele sibuze amadoda ukuba yini na ukuba asilahle xa sibathanda?
Uhamba okanye uthathe "ixesha"?
"Akunjalo rhoqo emva kokuhamba komntu ukuba umtshato uqhelane, kwaye kungekho rhoqo umntu, uthabatha i-teethothbrush, amasokisi kunye neengcango ezivela ekhaya, uceba ukubeka uthando lwakhe kwi-suitcase. La mabhinqa adibanisa iingcamango ezimbini ezahlukeneyo: "indoda ishiya" kwaye "indoda ithatha ixesha"! - ichazwe kwingxoxo engathethekiyo, amadoda ahambe. Umbono wesilisa ngale ngxaki ihluke ngokukodwa kweso shinqa, kwaye ibona ingcambu. Ukuba indoda ishiya intsapho, ayishiyi kumfazi, kodwa ephuma kwilizwe elivakalelwa kuye. Utshintsha imeko enye kufuphi nomfazi omnye, omnye ummandla kufuphi nomnye. Indoda ihamba ngeesuthikethi kuphela kuloo ndawo yintuthuzelo apho ivakalelwa khona, iyathemba, iyanyamekela, iyaphumelela, inothando iyithandwa. "Ukuphuma ixesha" kuyimfuneko ukuba umntu aziqonde yena kunye nolwalamano oluye lwaphula. Wayeka nje ukuziva ecaleni kwesithandwa sakhe imeko awayeyidala ngayo intsapho. Ukurhoxiswa okunjalo kunemizekelo emibini yokuphuhliswa kweemeko: ukushiya ngonaphakade kwaye ushiye "ikhefu", emva koko ujikelezo olutsha lophuhliso lwentsapho luyaqala. Yiyiphi imeko ebonakalayo kuxhomekeke kakhulu kumfazi. Ukuba ubona ukuhamba kwakhe okanye ukuhlukana (okwenyama, kokomoya) njengento yokuhlambalaza, ukwahlukana akunakunqandwa. Gcina indoda yakho ethandekayo ingabuyela kuye kuphela ngomoya kunye nentuthuzelo engokomoya, apho yena, ekufakwe kuyo, njengesilwanyana, akakwazi ukubuyela kuphela.
10 amanyathelo ngaphambi kokunyamekela indoda ethandekayo
Inyathelo 1. Thatha umntu ngokuba ngubani. Indoda ayiyinto into, kwaye umntu akufanele amphathe ngetyala: "Andiyithandi! Shintsha iingubo, ikhekhe okanye ukulungiswa. Indoda ingakhuthazwa kuphela kwindlela enokwenzeka yokuphuhlisa, isebenzise ezi zinto zinokuthi zingenakunceda. Ukugxeka kunye nokugxila kwiingxaki - kungeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu yokumisela umyeni wakhe emfanekisweni kunye nomfanekiso ofanelekileyo. Kwaye, okubaluleke kakhulu, musa ukulibala ukumdumisa nokumbulela rhoqo ixesha elifanelekileyo!
Inyathelo 2. Zithande ungaphantsi komntu. Ibhinqa elizinikezele ngokupheleleyo indoda kwaye lilibala malunga nobuntombi bayo, kungekudala okanye kamva lithandeka kumyeni wayo. Akukho mntu ucela idini esibingelelweni sothando, ngoko kuyimangalisa ukwenza ibango kumntu, ukuba uyeke ukuthanda umfazi oziqalile (kuzo zonke iinkalo). Wathandana nomntu onokukhawuleza ukuya kumhla wakhe, akazange amkhohlwe ukuthetha umlomo wakhe, wamenza waba nomona ngesihlwele sabaqhubi kunye nokukwazi ukuhlukanisa umntu ovela kwikhebula. Yiyiphi intengo umfazi ayenzela yona, loo mntu uhlawula!
Inyathelo 3. Thandana ngesondo nomntu wakho. Ukwabelana ngesondo ngenye yezona "zikhonkwane" ezibalulekileyo ezigcina indoda kufuphi nomfazi. "Isiqhelo sesiseko" emtshatweni akufanele sibe sesibini. Makube ngcono ukuba i-borscht ayiyi kuba yintle, kunokuba kuya kuba "isondo" esingenasiphelo okanye ayiyi kuba. Umntu waseBorscht akanakwenzeka ukuya kwelinye ibhinqa, kodwa ngesondo ... Vumela ubomi bentsapho buhlale busondelene: "funga, yenza uxolo, kodwa ulala kunye!
Inyathelo 4. Thetha nomntu. Imindeni apho abantu banako ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo ngothando, malunga neengxaki, malunga nobudlelwane, abanako ukuhlalisa. Kakade ke, umfazi ufuna ukuthetha ngokugqithiseleyo kunomntu. Ngako oko, inzuzo yokwakha imodeli yobudlelwane apho iingxaki ezingenakunyuswa, zikhona kuye. Kukho umyalelo wegolide, ukugcinwa kwayo okuza kubakho incoko yakhayo: indoda kufuneka isondliwe kuqala, inikwe ukuphumla kwaye iqale iqalise iingxoxo ezinzulu okanye ezinengqiqo. Nangona kunjalo, izazi zeengqondo ziyakwenqabela ukuqala ingxoxo ngala mazwi: "Mzalwana, sifuna ukuthetha!"
Inyathelo 5. Ukumangala, ukunyusa, ukukhuthaza umntu. Uthando lufa xa abatshatileyo bephumla baze bayeke ukunqoba omnye umntu, bafune ukuthanda kunye nokunyusa uthando. Ngaphandle kwezinto ezincinci, kodwa izinto ezinjalo ezibalulekileyo ekuthandaneni, njengamabhondi okuhlukana, iifom zothando, zibiza ngaphandle kwesizathu, iimpawu ezimnandi ezincinane, ukukhathalela, umfazi uba ngumkhwa. Ukuqulunqa isinyathelo sokuqala sokunyamezela ubuhlobo. Kulula kakhulu ukulahlekelwa uthando lomntu ongenakukunyamekela, okungaqondakaliyo kokubili kuya kuba ukungathandeki.
Inyathelo 6. Musa ukuba ngumhlobo womhlobo. "Musa nje kuba ngabahlobo nam! Ubulala umfazi kum "- umntu ochaze ngokucacileyo umphumo wobudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Emtshatweni, ngokukodwa oye waba khona iminyaka emininzi, ubuhlobo buhlala bubathandwa ngumdla. Ewe, kulungile! Kodwa kubi xa iphakamisa ububele kunye nobulili phakathi kwabatshatileyo. Kwintsapho enjalo, umfazi uba ngumhlobo onomdla, onesihawu, nesifuba somyeni wakhe. Ngomhlobo unako ukusela ubhiya phambi komdlalo onoxanduva, ungayivalelanga iziqalekiso ezintathu zamabhongo ebomini, vumela ukuba ungayihoyi kwaye ungabanikeli iintyatyambo. Ngaba oku kwamkelekileyo kubuhlobo kunye nomfazi abathandayo?
Isinyathelo 7. Yiba nenkxaso ethembekileyo neyithembekileyo yamadoda. Ukuba ngamnye umfazi umphunga womntu emva kwakhe, njengodonga lwamatye, ngoko nawuphi na umntu uya kunika isiqingatha sobukumkani ukuba abe ngumfazi oza kuba nguye othembekileyo emva. "Ngosizi, kunye novuyo, ubutyebi kunye nentlupheko!" - akukhona nje amazwi esifungo somtshato. Indoda ifuna ukuqiniseka ukuba umthandayo akanalo naye ngenxa yempumelelo yakhe, udumo okanye imali, kodwa ngenxa yakhe. Kubalulekile ukuba aqonde ukuba nangona ihlabathi lonke lichasene naye, umfazi wakhe uya kuhlala emela emva kwakhe, kwaye ngokukhawuleza anike iikharriji.
Isinyathelo 8. Ungesabi ukulwa nomntu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuyangalisa kangakanani, intsapho apho kungekho mingcipheko iya kulahlwa. Ukuba abafazi abafumani ubuhlobo, ngoko kufanelekile ukutshekisha "i-pulse" yentsapho, mhlawumbi sele ifile? Ngamanye amaxesha amadoda angaboni ngokukrakra ukuba aqiniseke - kukho iimvakalelo kwaye zinyani. Ulwalamano lwentsapho luyithuba lokuqonda omnye nomnye, ukubonisa intlungu yabo nokuvakalisa oko kwakungabonakali. Bambana nomntu onokukwazi kwaye ufuna! Into eyona nto ayikukudlala ngomsindo obushushu, kodwa kwimeko yoxolo ukubeka ityala kwibhunga lentsapho, elinqabela ukusebenzisa amagama athi "akaze" kwaye "rhoqo" ngexesha lempikiswano.
Isinyathelo 9. Ukuba nomntu uhlala uhlukile. Ukuze ithandwe, ibhinqa kufuneka lihlale lihluke. Ngaloo ndlela wathi i-fashionista eyaziwayo uCoco Chanel, kwaye amagama akhe ayethetha nje imifanekiso yesimo kunye nempahla yowesifazane. Ngobudlelwane nomntu, lo mgaqo usebenza ngokungafaniyo. Loo ntokazi iya kuba yinto engenakunyuswa, eyayihlala ingenakulinganiswa kwaye iyimfihlakalo kumntu. Umfazi kufuneka ahlale e-arsenal yakhe yemifanekiso eqinileyo eya kugcina umyeni wakhe efanelekileyo. Ingaba intombazana enqwenela ukuyinyamekela, kunye nentombi efuna ukuyenza, kunye ne-caprices ofuna ukuyifumana, kunye nomncedisi onobuchule, kufuphi nelo lihlala licolile kwaye linelisekile, kunye nomthandi onomdla, oya kuthi-ukuya ezulwini, ukuya kwihogesi. Into ephambili ayikuthi ifakwe emfanekisweni omnye.
Isinyathelo 10. Gcina intloko. Imisebenzi kwintsapho yasasazwa ngabantu basekuqaleni abaye babonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba ngubani ophethe i-mammoth endlini, kwaye ngubani ogcina i-hearth kunye nokupheka ama-cutlets, imiqulu yeklabishi kunye ne-jellied meat. Ukususela ngoko, amanzi amaninzi aqhutyhile kwaye ezininzi iintlobo zentlalo zatshintshile, kodwa isakhiwo sentsapho, apho indoda ingumcengezeli, kwaye umfazi, umgcini we "intloko" - uhlale isisiseko esisisiseko. Ukudala ukungcola kwindlu, loo ntokazi ibangele ithonya lendoda yasendulo. Ukuze kungenzeki kwindawo yakhe yokusebenzela, kwilizwe okanye nakwi "flank ekhohlo" ebonakala ngexesha, indoda iya kuqhutyelwa kwindlu apho ukucoceka, ukuhleleka nokuthuthuzela okulawulayo, apho kukho ukuvumba kwamakhaya kunye nokwenza umoya wokuzinza nokungazinzanga.