Ngaba kuyinyaniso ukuba ubuntu bomntu bubekwe kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi, kwaye emva koko sele kunzima ukutshintsha nantoni na?
Uhlobo lomntu lugqitywa yiminyaka esixhenxe, emva koko kukho inguqu-sinokungongeza into ethile, into ekulungisiweyo. Kukholelwa ukuba kwiminyaka emithathu ubudala umntu uya kwisigaba sokuzalwa kwakhe: ngeli thuba ukubunjwa kwegazi kuguqulwa ngokupheleleyo, isakhiwo somzimba siyahlaziywa. Kwiminyaka ephindaphindiweyo yee sixhenxe, ngamnye wethu usebunzima. Ukwesaba kobunzima beentlanga bubi kakhulu: kukho uvakalelo lokungancedi, ukwesaba ubumnyama, ukuphakama, ukuzodwa, indawo evulekile. Kodwa ebudeni beminyaka abantu bazalwa ngokutsha, baye kwisinyathelo esitsha ekuphuhliseni kwabo. Sitshintsha, kodwa isiseko asihlali sitshintshile.
Kubuphi ubudala ukuzithemba okubalulekileyo komntu?
Ukusuka kumama ukuya kwiminyaka emibini, izinga lomzimba lophuhliso libekiwe. Ukususela emibini ukuya kwezine ebuhlotsheni babazali kumntwana, ukuqonda kwakhe ngokwakhe kunye nehlabathi, kukwazi ukuthetha cha. Kule minyaka, abantwana bafumana ulwazi malunga nabo, oya kukholwa bonke ubomi babo. Ekuqaleni, umntwana uzalelwa ngeempawu zonke, kodwa ngaphantsi kwefuthe-i-cliches ("intombazana ehlakaniphile", "inkwenkwe ethobelayo") iqala ukuqaphela ezimbalwa kuphela. Khawucinge ngomfanekiso: Umama uncike phezu kwentombi eneminyaka emibini ubudala, ebanga aze athi: "Yinto intombazana enhle!" Intombi zifudumele, zivakalelwa kukuba ziyakwazi ukukhuselwa kwaye ziyakhusela, kwaye kwikamva liza kugqiba ingqalelo kwibala elilungileyo. Ukungathandabuzeki ekukhangekeni kwayo kuya kuba ngumqondiso we-alarm, isongelo ekutshatyalaliswa kwehlabathi labo. Kubaluleke kakhulu kubantwana ukuxhasa, kungekhona ukudumisa. Kwaye kubalulekile ukuba ungabhalisi, kungekhona ukufaka iinkqubo "uza kuba ngugqirha" okanye "uza kutshata inkosana." Umntwana kufuneka azi ukuba uhlukile: ngamanye amaxesha athukuthele, ngamanye amaxesha adidekile, ngamanye amaxesha afuneke, kwaye unelungelo lokukhetha indlela yakhe. Emva koko abantwana bakhula.
Ngowiphi iminyaka ubudala umntwana obalaseleyo ukuba anike i-kindergarten?
Kucebise ukuba umama ahlale nomntwana ngokusondelene naye ukuya kwiminyaka emibini. Kwiminyaka emithathu umntwana ufumana ubunzima bokuhlukana kwengqondo kumama - eli xesha lilungele ukulinda. Umdala ophezulu wokuthumela kwi-kindergarten emva kweminyaka emine. Ukususela kwiminyaka emine ukuya kweyisixhenxe, intsebenziswano yoluntu ngokuphuhliswa kwengane yakhelwe, sele sele eqonda ukuba ndikhona kwaye sinomdla kumdlalo odlala indima, unokugcina ixesha elide. Kodwa kungcono ukuya esikolweni kungekho ezintandathu, kodwa kwiminyaka esixhenxe. Kungemva kwe sixhenxe ukuba inqanaba lentlalo lophuhliso libekiwe. Ngaloo nto kuphela abantwana baqala ukuthobela imithetho, ukunyanzelwa kwenzelwe (iingxenye zengqondo ebambe umntu omncinane kwisithuba esinye zibandakanyiwe emsebenzini). Kule minyaka umntwana kufuneka amelwe kwiindawo ezintathu zoluntu-isikolo, icandelo elinxulumene nokuphuhliswa komzimba, nakwezinye indawo, apho unokuziva inkululeko epheleleyo.
Yintoni enquma ukuba yindlalifa?
Ngokweengqondo, ngo-80% singabantu bomthonyama kwintsapho, i-20% eseleyo yinto yethu yokuzikhethela. Ngamanye amaxesha la ma-20% aya kugqiba. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali banokuguqula isigqibo somntwana kunoma yiphina indlela. Njengomthetho, abantwana banokukopisha imodeli yokuziphatha kayise nonina, okanye ukhethe ukuchasa. Abantwana bezilwanyana ezixhatshazwayo izidakamizwa ngokuqhelekileyo baba ziilonda okanye izidakamizwa. Kwinoma yiphi na intsapho, iinkqubo zentsapho zisebenza: "ungagcini intloko yakho", "kuyingozi ukuba zityebi," "isinyathelo siyalungiswa." Ukumemezela le migaqo, abantu abadala bazama ukumbamba umntwana kwisiphelo sabo, kwisakhelo sabo. Kodwa oku akuyikubulala: kusenokwenzeka ukutshintsha. Akukufanelekanga ukutshintsha konke ukusola kwam abazali bam: Ndingumntu ngenxa yokuba ndakhuliswe ngumama noyise. Sifunda kunye nabazali, kunye nenkqubo yentsapho ngaphandle kweendlela ezixhasayo zinika amandla. Nangona i-slide yeeleyibhile zabazali kunye nesimo sengqondo sobuxoki, simele sibabulele ngenxa yobunzima esafuneka sinyamezele, siwaphule, saba namandla ngakumbi.
Indlela yokukhulisa ukuzimela komntwana kwaye anganiki inyathelo kwiinkomfa - ukukhuliswa nokuphuhliswa komntwana kwixesha elizayo?
Ukwaneliseka akukwazi ukufundiswa, kunokunikezelwa kuphela. Umfanekiso oqhelekileyo: inkunzi igijimela egumbini, kwaye uyatshelwa: "ungabambeli", "wehla phantsi", "yifake, okanye uyiphule", ukunyakaza komntwana kusebenza kancinci, inzala yophando ilahlekile kwaye ihleli phambi kweTV. Abantwana abahlala ixesha lonke kwisikrini se-holo abo bangabikho nokhuseleko ukubonakalisa. I-Hyperopeka - inkonzo ye-bearish kumntwana, nto leyo eyimvimbela ukuba azibonakalise kuluntu. Ukuba sele beza esikolweni "i-aquarium" abantwana bayabambelela, baphule. Kunzima kubo ukwakha intsapho yabo kwikamva. Indoda endala engazange ihlukane nomama (isetyenziselwe ukusebenza: "ngaphandle kwam uya kulahleka," "kungcono kunina unina akayi kuba"), akunakwenzeka ukuba akhe ubuhlobo obuhambelana nomfazi wakhe. Ngako oko, abazali kufuneka banike umntwana ithuba lokukhula, ngokwengqondo. Kwaye kufuneka uyenze oku ku-7 ubudala.
Yintoni engcono yengqondo yomntwana: xa abazali behlala ndawonye kungekhona uthando, kodwa ngenxa yomntwana okanye umtshato?
Umntwana akayikuxabisa imibingelelo yabazali ababehlala ndawonye ngenxa yakhe kuphela. Kungenzeka ukuba emva kweminyaka xa umama athi: "Ewe, mna ndikhoyo ..." - uya kuphendula: "Kwaye kwakungekho mfuneko kum". Ukuba abazali abayithandani, ukuxabana nokungaqondani kuya kubakho rhoqo phakathi kwabo, kodwa ukuphuhliswa ngokuhambelana komntu ngamnye kwindawo efanelekileyo yokukhulisa kuyadingeka. Kubonakala ebomini babantwana kunye noomama oomama kunye noomama abathandayo (kwaye akudingeki ukuba babheke umntwana wesibini okanye umama wesibini - baya kuhlala beyingqayizivele kwaye bodwa). Ngokuqhelekileyo, ubudlelwane kunye nootata abathandana nabo banomusa kwaye bafudumele kunabo booyise. Utata ongaba ngumntwana unokuba ngumhlobo onokukunceda nokuqonda, kwaye oku kungcono kunomzali onxilisayo. Ubomi kwizityholo kunye nabantwana abangazithandiyo banokuphinda kwintsapho yabo.
Yiyiphi imingeni engavumelekanga yokuqhawula umtshato?
Umntwana kunanoma yiphina iminyaka ubuhlungu buqonda le mcimbi. Kubantu abadala kuyingxaki. Kulo usana - ukuphulwa kweendlela zokukhusela. Isizathu sokuqhawula umtshato kukuba abantwana abancinci bahlala becinga ukuba: "Ndazalelwa, kodwa abazange bafune mna", "Ndadla kakubi, kwaye ubaba wasiphonsa." Ukuba uneminyaka engama-4 ubudala, ungazichazela le meko: ewe, ayibi, kodwa umntwana uyayamkela, emva koko umtshato kwiminyaka yokuqala yokuphila yenza umfihlelo ebomini, uhlobo loxinzelelo. Kukhululekile ngakumbi ukuba unyana okanye intombi aphile kuphela nonina okanye noyise kuphela, ukuba ngaba bobabini abazali bayonwabile kwaye baqondwa kunokuba kuthiwa yintsapho epheleleyo ngokuchasene nemvelaphi yokungavumelani kwehlabathi.
Yimiphi imigaqo yokuziphatha yomtshato ukuba abazali baqaphele ukuze umntwana aphile ngeli xesha kunye nelahleko ezincinci?
Into ebaluleke kakhulu kubantwana xa bevakalelwa kukuba: into eyenzekayo, kodwa abantu abadala bazenza ngathi zilungile. Kubonakala kumntwana ukuba ulahlekelwe yimvakalelo yakhe. Isoloko ikwazi ukuchaza yonke into. Tshela umntwana ukuba yenziwe ngamaseli epapa nonina, kwaye umzimba wakhe wonke unothando lwabazali. Yaye naphi na apho abazali bekhona, lo thando luhlala kubantwana. Kunzima kakhulu kumntwana xa uyise nomama behlala kunye nobudlelwane obukhululekile, bathetha kakubi ngomnye nomnye, kwaye wonke umntu uqala ukuwukhupha. Abantwana kwiimeko ezinjalo bahlale benetyala phambi komzali abangahlali nabo. Kubalulekile ukuba abafazi bahlanganyele ngendlela efanelekileyo kwaye baqinisekise ukufikelela rhoqo kumzali ongenamntwana.
Ngaba yinyaniso ukuba uPapa ngentombazana ngumzekelo wendoda yakhe efanelekileyo?
Eneneni, intombi ithatha umzekelo womntu kumfanekiso kayise, kunye nendlela yokuziphatha ngesini esahlukileyo-evela kumama. Upapa ubumba indlela yokuziphatha kunye nokukhusela komntwana-amantombazana namakhwenkwe. Ukongezelela, uyise unceda intombi yakhe ukuba iqonde ubuhlobo kunye nesini esahlukileyo. Ngokufanayo, unina unokukwazi ukuchazela ukuziphatha kobhinqa kwindodana yakhe. Ukususela ekufuphi kunye nokufudumala kobudlelwane kunye nopapa intombazana ezayo iya kuxhomekeka kubukho / ukungabikho kweengxaki-ukukhuliswa nokuphuhliswa komntwana. Ukuba umzali akazange amanga intombi yakhe, wayengaqhathananga ukumbamba izandla zakhe kwaye akazange ambuke ubuhle bakhe - uya kunelisekile kakhulu ngomzimba wakhe.
Kufuneka njani ukuphuhliswa kwangaphambili komntwana?
Ukukhulisa umntwana usemncinci kufuneka kube yinto enomdla kuye. Ukuba uthanda ukufunda, ukudweba, ukufunda - ukuphuhlisa, ukuba akunjalo - ungacingi. Ngokuqhelekileyo inkuthazo yokuphuhliswa kwangethuba ayiyiyo nkxalabo yindlalifa, kodwa ukwesaba abadala kuba ngabazali ababi okanye umnqweno wokuziqhayisa kwizihlobo kunye nabahlobo bamakhono omntwana. Umphumo wecala lokufunda okusebenzayo kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi ukungabikho komnqweno wokufunda esikolweni. Ukuqala ukuya kwiminyaka emisi-mdlalo ngumdlalo, kodwa ukuba inkunzi yebhokhwe kunokuba idlale ngaphambi kwesikolo, ichithe ixesha kwiikhosi kunye nokukhetha, akayi kuthatha izifundo. Kukho enye inkqubela. Ewe, ngokwenene, ukufikelela kwiminyaka emine ubuchopho bufikelela kwi-80% yolwazi, ukusuka kwiminyaka emithathu ukuya emine yomntwana onokufundisa ezine kwiilwimi ezintlanu, kodwa ukuba emva kokuba engathethi kubo, bonke ulwazi baya kulibala ngokukhawuleza. Ngeeminyaka ezisixhenxe ubudala, umntwana uya kufunda ngokukhawuleza oko wafundiswa ukususela kwiine ukuya kwi sixhenxe.
Ngaba yinyani ukuba umntwana omnye usapho lukhula luzingca?
Umntwana unokukhula ukuze abe yindoda enkulu kwintsapho enkulu. Indlalifa kuphela kwintsapho kubalulekile ukufundisa ukunyamekela abathandekayo, ukukwazi ukunxibelelana nabanye abantwana. Kwaye kubalulekile ukuba abazali bangayilungiseleli ingqalelo kunye nobomi kuphela kulo. Kunoko, abantwana abakhulela bodwa banelisekile. Abazali ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva baya kubagula kunye nabadala, kwaye banakekele bawa emagxeni omntwana omnye. Xa kukho umzalwana okanye udade, umthwalo usasazwa amabini, kukho uncedo omnye nomnye. Inkxaso ebalulekileyo nangokomzwelo, ukuqonda ukuba kukho omnye umntu ozalwa emhlabeni. Emva koko, xa abazali befa, umntwana uhlala yedwa.
Kutheni kubakho abantwana abanokuxhatshazwa kwangoko nje ?
Iimbangela zokungabi nakwizinga lokungabi naso zingakabonakali ngokupheleleyo. Ngoku oku kuhloliswe ngendlela efanelekileyo, engayigcinwanga ngokufanelekileyo. I-syndrome ye-hyperactivity inokufunyanwa yiingcali ezintathu (i-neurologist, i-psychiatrist, i-psychologist) kwaye emva kokudala kweminyaka emine, ngaphandle kokuba umntwana aziphatha ngokungafaniyo kwiindawo zentlalo ezintathu (umzekelo, kwi-kindergarten, ekhaya, kumgudu). Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuxhatshazeka kudidekile kunye nokubonakaliswa kwesimo se-choleric. Kunzima kakhulu kubazali banabantwana abanjalo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukuziphatha kwabo akuyona inkalo yomntu, kodwa ukubonakaliswa kwempawu. Namhlanje, ukuhlawulela ukuxhatshazwa komzimba (ngaphezu kweziyobisi zakudala), ukusetyenziswa kwezilwanyana kusetyenziswa, ukutya okunempilo (aba bana banomdla wokunyuka kwamazinga e-glucose nokutya kunye ne-chemistry yokutya). Ukunyaniseka kuyaxilongwa, kodwa kungekhona isigwebo. Ngokunyamezela, ukunakekela, indlela ehambelana ngayo nabazali, ootitshala, oogqirha, aba bantwana banokuzaliseka.
Ziziphi iimpawu ezahlukileyo zabantwana banamhlanje?
Abantwana banamhlanje abahambelani nesakhelo sempilo yengqondo kunye nokufundisa, okwenziwe kwiminyaka edlulileyo. Yingakho kwizonyango kunye nengqondo yengqondo yengane yeemimiselo, kungekhona kwimiqathango, kodwa i-contours of development manje isetyenziswe: ukukhula, ubunzima, intetho. Ngoko, intetho yabantwana abaselula iqhubeka iminyaka emine, kwaye oku sele kuthethwa njengesiqhelo. Abantwana benkulungwane ye-XXI bahluke ngobugovu, ukuzithemba kunye nenqondo ekhuselekileyo yokuzinyamekela. UbuHarism kunye nokuzidela, okuhlakulelwe kwiminyaka emininzi edlulileyo, sele kusenanto. Namhlanje, abantwana baxhomekeke kwi-hypersensitive: into esivakalelwa ngayo iphindwe kabini kwimibono yabo. Isizukulwana, esabela ngokukhawuleza kuyo yonke into eyenzekayo, sikhula okanye sikhathazeke. Imemori yokusebenza kunye ne-coefficient yomsebenzi osebenzayo wengqondo yabo iphuculwe ngakumbi kunabantu abadala. Isantya sobomi kunye nokuphendula kuthana nemigangatho yexesha elidlulileyo. Iimpawu zanamhlanje eziye zakhawuleza isicengcingo se tempo zibonakala zinamandla kakhulu kuthi, abadala, kodwa kungekhona kubo. Namhlanje, abantwana abaphantse bafundekanga kwaye badlala kwimidlalo edibeneyo. Kuzo, ukuchitha ixesha elide ixesha phambi kwesosikhompyutheni sekhompyutheni, ubuchopho buba nexanduva lovelwano (uvelwano) luye lwafakwa emva kwexesha kumsebenzi. Ngelishwa, ngoku abantwana abadlala nabazali babo. Aba bahambayo abanalo ixesha loku, kwaye abazi ukuba bangakwenza njani. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba bahluke njani abantwana abangoku kwizizukulwana ezidlulileyo, imihla ngemihla basadinga ubuncinane imizuzu engama-30 yokuthintana nabazali babo (ngaphandle kweTV kunye nomnxeba) ukuba bazaliswe ngokufudumala kunye nenkxaso yokomoya.
Abantwana banamhlanje bakhula kakhulu ngaphambili. Ukuphuhliswa kokuqala kwentlalo yesini yobomi kuthintela njani umntwana?
Enyanisweni, amantombazana aqala namhlanje eneminyaka engama-9 (amakhwenkwe ekuphuhliseni ngokwesondo sele malunga nemibini emibini emva kwamantombazana). Kodwa ngokubanzi, abazali bafanele bagxininise ngokwabo: bebaneminyaka engakanani ababenomdla kwizondo ezahlukeneyo - kule minyaka uya kuvuka kunye nabantwana. Ulwalamano lwangaphambili lwezesondo luba yimeko enobungozi. Ukuthanda amava (ukudibana, ukuhlukana, umthandi unomnye) uyabuhlungu kumntu omdala, kunye nomntwana - kabini. Ubudlelwane bobulili ebusheni buphazamisa ukuphuhliswa kwamanye amanqanaba. Kuyaziwa, umzekelo, ukuba abantu abavela kwiinkedama zeenkedama bahlala bephantsi. Ukuqhathaniswa nokuhlaziya isondo kunye neenkqubo zokuqala zesondo kuvuselela inkqubo ye-genitourinary kwaye kuphucotha ukuphuhliswa kweminye imimandla. Eyokuqala, ukuphuhliswa kwesistim se-osseous siyeka. Oku kungaba yimpikiswano yabazali benkwenkwe abafuna ukumgcina ebudlelwaneni bokulala ngokwesondo. Abazali kufuneka bakhulume nabantwana kwesi sihloko, bachaze ukuba ubulili lungcono ukuhlaziya emva koko: kamva, bhetele. Yitsho ukuba uthando oluqinileyo lunemvakalelo. Kodwa ukuba umntwana usenomhlobo okanye intombi, abazali kufuneka bathethe nabo bobabini. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umama wentombazana ikhulume nale nkwenkwe - ukuba intombazana kufuneka ibonwe, ingacaswanga kwaye ikhuselwe. Uxanduva lomfana phambi kwabazali beentombazana luphezulu kunokuba ngaphambi kwakhe. Akunzakhathazi ukuba uTata uxele intombi yakhe ukuba abafana bafuna imantombazana. Kubalulekile ukwazisa abantwana ukuba abantu abadala kuphela banokukwenza oku.
Iimpawu zezilwanyana ezithatha iitrhefesiti zentengiselwano zabantwana zichaphazela njani ingqondo yengane?
Akuyimfuneko ukuqwalasela iinguqu eziguqukayo kunye nezilwanyana-i-bionics kuphela njengento eyingozi. Kulowo mntwana uhlala khona umntu othile, oyika into ethile. Umzekelo, ubumnyama. Ukuthatha ezandleni zenguqu yintsholongwane okanye umntu ongenesibindi-isilwanyana, umntwana ubonakala engenakho ukuhlaselwa, ufumana ukufikelela kumthombo othile wendalo. Emva koko, yonke into endiyibambayo ezandleni zam iya kulawulwa, inxalenye yam. Ngokusebenzisa amathoyizi anjalo, abantwana banokubonisa iimvakalelo ezidandathekileyo. Xa umntwana efuna ukuthi hayi, kodwa akakwazi, ukhetha umdlalo okhwazayo, ngelixa yena ngokwakhe ehlala emhlophe kwaye ehlutha.
Ziziphi iindawo eziyinkimbinkimbi eyenziwa sisikolo kumntwana?
Abantwana bamabanga aphantsi abanako ukuvavanywa. Kwaye, ngenhlanhla, ezikolweni ezininzi oku akwenziwanga. Umntwana ufumana utywala, kungekhona njengokunganeliseki ngutitshala kunye nencwadana yakhe engcolileyo, kodwa njengendlela yokuhlola. Ukuvavanya yileyibhile ephoswe kumntwana wesikolo. Ukumemezela kwakhe: "Ndiyingozi, andiyithandi" - kwaye oku kulungiselelwa kwindlela yokuziphatha "yomfundi obi", "olahlekileyo." Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukungena kwesi sikhungo, isikolo dvoechniki kunye ne-troechniki siqala ukufunda kakuhle. Akukho luvandlakanyo, oku kuluhlu olutsha apho ungabonakalisa khona, kukho inzala ekufundeni. Kubalulekile ukuchazela umntwana ukuba utitshala ungumntu ofanayo nomntu wonke odinayo, unesimo esibi kwaye angenza iimpazamo. Kule meko, abantwana abayi kuqonda isimo sengqondo somfundisi kubo, njengomthetho. Ukongeza kwisikolo, umntwana kufuneka abe nenye indawo apho angazibonakalisa khona. Yaye ukhuseleko lwengqondo luphuhliswa kwintsapho. Ukuba uyathandwa apha, kungakhathaliseki ukuziphatha nokuhlolwa kwayo, kuya kuhlala kuhleli.
Indlela yokukhulisa ubuntu bokwenene?
Ubuntu abukwazi ukuphakanyiswa, lunokuncedwa ukubonakalisa. Kwaye umyalelo wokuqala kukuhlonipha kwabazali ngobuntu bomntu. Ukuba ndidibana nam, ke ngoko ndingakwazi ukudibana nomnye umntu. Ukuba ndiyakuqonda, ndiya kukwazi ukunceda omnye. Abantu bokwenene bakhula kwintsapho ephilileyo, apho abafazi abaxhomekeke kulowo mnye ngokomzwelo nangokwezemali, apho kukho ukuqonda nothando. Ukuba umama ukhula, unamandla kuye, ukuba unomdla ekuhloliseni ihlabathi kunye nomntwana kunye nokufunda kuye, lo ngumhlaba ofanelekileyo wokuphuhliswa komntu onamandla. Ngokwemvelo, abantu abadala banabantwana bafunde ukusuka, umzekelo, ngokukhawuleza, ukukwazi ukubamba umzuzu wamanje, ukunyaniseka kweentetho neemvakalelo.