Le mibuzo iyona eqhelekileyo kwiYandex ne-Google. Zihlala zicelwa ziingcali kunye neentombi. Baye bacingwa malunga nobusuku obungapheli. Namhlanje sithetha kunye neengqungquthela zentombikazi kunye neengcali zengqondo, umbhali, umbhali wezifundo zabasetyhini, umqeqeshi wokukhula komntu, ilungu elilumkileyo loMbutho wamazwe ngamazwe loPhuhliso lwaBantu, kunye nomfazi onomdla nonina- uGloria Moore.
UMBUZO: Uphi isiqingatha sam?
- Ngaba kunjalo ukuba wonke umntu emhlabeni unesiqingatha sakhe? UGloria Moore : Kuyi nyaniso. "Isiqingatha" kuphela asikho enye. Makhe sibize ngelinye iqela elibhetele. Khawucinge ngekridi eneencango ezininzi. Le yimijelo yakho yokugqibela. Phambi kweengcango zikarhulumente ezintsha kunye neengcango ezintsha. Akukho ziqhamo. Sinenkululeko yokuzikhethela. Ngokomzekelo, emva kwesikolo wangena "emnyango" negama elithi "Moscow" - lafuduka kwiphondo, kwaye ubomi bakho buhamba "kwikorri" ethile. Ngale ndlela uza kudibana nomntu ogama linguSergei. Kodwa uhlala eSaratov. Kwaye ke ubomi bakho buya kwenzeka kwimeko ehlukile. Kwaye obabili babe nguTimoti. Kwaye sinemiphumo yezigidi ezinjalo. Zonke "zimiselwe" kwangaphambili, kodwa, nangona kunjalo, sikhululekile ukukhetha indawo yokuya kuyo, kwaye yintoni inokuyicombulula.
- Ngaba kunokuthi kwenzeke ukuba ibhinqa likhetha ikorori apho kungekho siqingatha? UGloria Moore: Ewe. Kodwa oku kuluhlu. Uninzi lwamaxesha amaninzi le nto idibana. Nangona kunjalo, abakwazi ukubonana, okanye nje abazi ukuba bangakha njani ubudlelwane, kwaye ngenxa yoko-
- Yintoni okufuneka uyenze ukuze uqaphele isiqingatha? Ngaba unayo nayiphi na impawu? UGloria Moore: Ewe. Ndinezifundo eziliqela kule nto. Akunakwenzeka ukuphendula lo mbuzo kancinci, kodwa unokufunda ukuqaphela indoda yakho kwangoko. Ukuqala, umzekelo, kunokwenzeka kwinqanaba lam likhululekile "Indlela yokufumana indoda efanelekileyo", apho ndichaza ngokufutshane kwaye ngokucacileyo uhlobo luni lwabantu. Ukwazi ngezi ntlobo, unokwenza kwangaphambili oko ukulindele kumntu, kwaye ungathini, kwaye wenze ukhetho olungakumbi.
UMBUZO: Kutheni ndingatshati?
"Kutheni ndingatshatanga?" Umfazi udibana naye, kwaye sele sele esatshatile. Okanye ukhululekile, kodwa akangxami ukutshata. Okanye, ngokuqhelekileyo, ayikwazi ukudibana nomntu oqhelekileyo, "ophosakeleyo" uvela ... uGloria Moore: Musa ukukholelwa kwiingxelo zobuxoki malunga nokuba akukho madoda okwenene aseleyo. Ba. Abanye abafazi balawula ukutshata amaxesha amaninzi, kunye nabaviwa abafanelekileyo. Kwaye abanye - akakho. Kutheni? Banobuqili, bumnandi, kwaye batshata-kakuhle, asebenzi! Ukuba ubeka eceleni "uMfazi opheleleyo," aphethwe ngabantu, kukho esinye sezizathu. Amantombazana awafuni
ukutshata . Ewe, kwinqanaba elingaziwayo, bafuna intsapho kunye nabantwana. Kodwa umntu unengqondo engazi. Ikhokela indlela yethu yokuziphatha. Yaye ukuba awufuni ukutshata, uya kuhlangana ngendlela engafanelekanga umtshato womntu. Ingakumbi, batshata. Kwabo "bahlangana", simele sizibuze ngokwenene - ndiyintoni na entliziyweni yam? Kutheni ndifuna ukutshata? Yeka ukukholelwa kwi "zithsaba ze-hiliycy", abantu ababi, iinjongo, i-villain, ubudala, njl. Qhagamshelana neengcali eziza kukunceda uqonde kwaye ususe izizathu zakho zokwenene inhlanhla ngothando. Kwi-akhawunti yami, umzekelo, imitshato emithathu evuya. Bonke abathandathu - abo sele besele banqwenela. Amantombazana asebekhulile aphelile ukukholelwa ngamandla abo. Ndithi ezintandathu, nangona zikhona ezininzi, kodwa ezi zibini ezibini zivivinywe, zihlala zisusela kwiminyaka emihlanu ukuya kweyisixhenxe kunye, kwaye ndiyakwazi ukuzigcina. Bonke aba besifazane beza kum nombuzo othi: "Kutheni ndingakwazi ukudala intsapho?" Kwaye sazilungisa izizathu kwaye sazisusa. Kanye emva koko bavuya ngokutshata.
- Yintoni enokuyenza ukuze utshatile? UGloria Moore: Ukuze utshatile, kufuneka: kuqala: ukulahla ukwesaba okukuthintela ukuqala intsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo eli lixesha elidlulileyo - lakho, okanye umzali. Okwesibini: ukukhetha iqabane elungileyo, ngokokuba yindoda yinyani, kwaye ayikho "engcono" engaziwayo yeencwadi okanye iifilimu. Okwesithathu: ukwakha ngobuchule ubudlelwane bokuzisa umtshato. Ukuba ucinga ukuba lo ngumzekelo wokugqibela ukutshata, ndiya kukucasula. Oku kungokuqala. Usapho lusebenza. Musa ukusebenza ubudlelwane - bawahlukana. Akukho luthando oluya kulondoloza. Enyanisweni, akunzima. Kufuneka ufunde imithetho embalwa uze uyisebenzise. Emva koko umtshato uya kuba namandla. Hayi, ezikolweni lokhu akufundiswa.
UMBUZO WESITHATHU: Kutheni umyeni wam utshintshe?
UGloria Moore: Ngokuqhelekileyo kumaphephancwadi abhalayo - ubeka ityala, uyayitshintsha. Andikwazi, ndandingakwazi, andinguye "umfazi" onjalo, njl njl Enyanisweni, yonke into iyinkimbinkimbi. Kukho uxolo, olubangelwa ubuhlobo kwintsapho. Xa umntu eqala ukukhangela "indawo" ecaleni. Ukuba le ndoda yodwa, ngokukhawuleza okanye emva koko iya kushiya intsapho, ayiyi kukwazi ukuyiphula. Injalo intsapho ingasindiswa kwisigaba sokuqala. Kodwa kuphela ukuba ngaba bobabini bafuna le nto, kwaye bobabini bazimisele ukusebenza kanzima kule nto. Kukho uhlobo lwamadoda aya kutshintsha nawuphi na umxholo. Yibani ubuncinane ubukhulu bomfazi umfazi ogqibeleleyo. Kuphela nje ukuba kulungiselelwe. Kuye, ukugwenxa - oku kukuqinisekiswa kwimeko yesalfayibini, umntu ophumelelayo, ukuba ufuna. Kuye, umthandi ungumvuzo wemeko. Ngaloo nto uthanda umfazi kunye nabantwana bakhe, kwaye unika intsapho, kwaye akayi kuhamba naphi na. Yintoni enokuyenza kule meko? Isisombululo esona sisisombululo siya kuba samkele le nyaniso. Unomntu wesithembu. Landela iingcebiso zikagogo-azinakucala. Awukwazi - ukuhlukanisa. Ngenxa yokuba ayikwazi ukulungiswa. Eyona nto ibhetele - ungatshati, ukuba unomona.
- Nendlela yokujonga ukuba utshata nomngcatsha? Kukho akubhalwa kuyo? UGloria Moore: Kubhalwe nje. Inyaniso kukuba ukwazi uhlobo lwabantu abalinganiswa nokuziphatha, unokwenene ukususela kwiminithi yokuqala, nangona kubonakala ukuba ngubani. Oku akuyinyani. Ndisebenzise le minyaka emininzi kwaye ndafundisa amakhulu amabhinqa la ma chips. Xa uqala ukudibana nendoda, sele usakwazi ukuqonda indlela eya kuba yindoda. Kwaye, ngokufanelekileyo, unokwenza izigqibo -kufuneka umyeni onjalo okanye cha.
- Ngaba unokukhetha umyeni ofanelekileyo ngaphambili? Ukubonakala nje nje? UGloria Moore: Ayikho into epheleleyo. Uluhlu ngalunye luba nenzuzo kunye nobutyebi. Ngokomzekelo, "abaguquli", njengomthetho, bafumane kakuhle. Kwaye uhlobo oluchanekileyo - kwindawo yam yohlobo olubizwa ngokuba yi-Intuit - luyinto engcolileyo-inyaniso, yinyani yonke, kodwa inzuzo evela kuye ayikho kakhulu. Ngoko kuyimfuneko ukhetha.
- Kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba "kuhlakaniphile kwaye kumhle?" UGloria Moore: Ewe, unokuba namadoda amabini. Kwaye kungcono kunezine. Emva koko impawu zonke zeempawu ziya kuba. Kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo, njengomthetho, iinqununu zikhethwe ngokubhekiselele kumgaqo wokukhangwa kwezichasana. Ngoko into ephambili apha kukukwakha ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo, kwaye uqonde ukuba akunakwenzeka ukufuna kwiinyoni ukukwazi ukumba imingxuma, kunye ne-moles - ukuza. Kulolu hlobo lunye - iingqungquthela zabo kunye neziphene.
UMBUZO WESINE: Kutheni umama engandiqondi?
UGloria Moore: Umama ungenye yezikhubekiso ebomini besetyhini abaninzi. Umama - oku kuyisiseko sokuziphatheka njengowesifazane, njengomama, njengomfazi. Khawucinge ngoko kwenzeka ntoni xa unina kunye nenkosikazi engenalo ubuhlobo obuhle kakhulu.
- Kwenzeka ntoni? UGloria Moore: Andikwazi ukwakha intsapho, njengomthetho. Ndathetha ngasentla malunga nokwesaba okuvela kwintsapho yomzali. Ukuba intsapho yabazali yayingonwabanga, intombazana inzima kakhulu ukukholelwa ukuba ulonwabo lwentsapho lukhona. Ukholelwa ukuba indoda nomfazi kufanele bafunge, bakhohlisane, njl njl. Ngenxa yoko, endleleni afika ngayo kubaviwa abafanelekayo kwiintembelelo zakhe - abakhohlisi, abathengisi, izidakwa ... Xa eba ngumama, uqala ujikelezo olutsha lweengxaki. Akakwazi ukufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo nomntwana, njengoko ekhula, izikhalazo zakhe ezisemntwaneni zivela kumama wakhe, kwaye kukho ubunzima obutsha kulwalamano ... isangqa esichukumisayo.
- Ndingayenza ntoni na? UGloria Moore: Ndinomsebenzi omnina nomama. Okanye, kungekhona nomama, kodwa ngomfanekiso wakhe entloko. Umama akanakho ukuqonda ngezifundo zakho kuzo zonke, kwaye ulwalamano lwakho naye luya kuguqulwa lungcono. Yaye ubomi bakho buya kuqala ukutshintsha ukuze kube ngcono. Nangona umama engasaphila, unako kwaye kufuneka ulahlekise iimpembelelo ezingalunganga. Kuba ekugqibeleni sisebenzisana kuphela neengcinga neenkolelo zethu. Ndineendlela ezininzi zokubhala ezandinceda ukuba ndakhe ubudlelwane kunye nomama, kwaye ndandinceda amawaka amabhinqa. Ngendlela, emva kokuba iingxaki nonina zixazululwe, iingxaki zomtshato, kunye nokuzithemba, kunye nabantwana ziyabonakala. Kuzwakala kumnandi, kodwa ndadlulisela kum, kunye nokwesaba, kunye neenkqubo kunye neengxaki kumama. Ndakwazi ukukwakha intsapho eyonwabileyo emva kweminyaka emininzi yokuzama ukuphumelela. Ngoko uya kuba nakho. Kubalulekile kuphela ukufuna.
UMBUZO OMANU: Indlela yokonwaba?
UGloria Moore: Lo ngumbuzo omangalisayo. Ndi nqwenela ukuba abafazi bayayibuza le mibuzo yonke imihla. Oku kunikwa kuphela into engalunganga. Umbuzo ochanekileyo kukuba: "Yintoni eyenza ndivuyiswe?". Zibuze malunga nayo yonke imihla! Fumana into eyenza unonwabo - imihla ngemihla, kwaye kungekhona kwindawo ezayo engaziwayo, iya kuza okanye ayikho. Yaye yenza, yenza oko kukuvuyisa! Le nto ingaba izinto ezilula - ukuhamba epakini, ukuthetha nezingane okanye izilwanyana, ukuphumla ekuphumleni okupheleleyo, ukubandakanya ukuzonwabisa okuthakazelisayo ... ngokubanzi, iresiphi yolonwabo iyahlukileyo kuwo wonke umntu. Kodwa kunjalo! Ufuna nje uvuyo lwakho alukho. Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho kwidilesi: "Ndiyifumana ... (zifake oko ngokuqinisekileyo) - ndiya kuvuya!" Ewe awuyi kuba! Ukuba awukwazi ukunyamekela ubomi ngoku, ungafundi ngoko. Ukuba ubuncinane ubuncinane bendoda efanelekileyo, ibhanki yakho kunye nodokotela ohlinzekileyo weplastiki. Konke oku kuza kukuzalela ngokukhawuleza, kwaye uza kukhangela ulonwabo, ulungele ubukho ebomini bakho nabanye abantu okanye izinto. Le ndlela yendlela yokufa. Ulonwabo namhlanje. Lapha kwaye ngoku. Kule ngcaciso imfutshane. Ukwenza oku, ungatshati, uzuze isigidi, okanye uthenge isikhwama esitsha. Qonda, ulonwabo luhlala luhlala ngaphakathi. Simele sikhululwe. Kukho nantoni na into yokubulela kweli hlabathi, endaweni yokukhalaza ngokungabikho kwento ethile. Yaye ukhumbule - iingcinga zakho yimithandazo yakho. Yiloo nto ucinga ngayo ininzi yosuku - yongezwa ebomini bakho. Ngoko cinga ngezinto ozithandayo. Kwaye kuza. Vavanywe ngabanye. Jabule!
Imibuzo ebuzwa uTatyana Ogudalova.