Inzondo, izigwebo, ubudlelwane obuphangiweyo - yiloo nto ongayifumana ekuphenduleni okulungileyo, kubonakala ngathi, gqabaza. Kodwa ngaba unokunyanisekileyo ukuvakalisa izimvo zakho kunye nesimo sengqondo kwiimeko kwaye ngelo xesha uhlale ulwalamano oluhle nabanye? Masizame!
Umgangatho ombini
Ngelo xesha siza kucacisa ukuba akuyona umbuzo wenyaniso njengenjalo, kungekhona inyaniso, kodwa yinto nje ebonakala ngathi yenzekile kwaye ilungile.
Iingcali zengqondo zithi xa sinqwenela ukuxelela umntu inyaniso, ngokwenene siphumeza iinjongo ezimbini. Ookuqala, wangaphandle - ukufumana ubuhlobo. Okwesibini, yangaphakathi - ulungelelanisa iingcinga zabo: iimbono, iingcinga, iimvakalelo. Kwaye le njongo efihlakeleyo, malunga nendlela esihamba kuyo, njengomthetho, kwaye engacingi, yenza ukuba singabikho ngokungahambisani nayo kwiingxelo.
Umgaqo wokuqala "wokufuna inyaniso": ngaphambi kokuba uthethe nantoni na olwalamano, cinga malunga nokuba uya kuhambisa isihloko sakho kuwe, kunokuba uxoxe ngeengxaki ze-interlocutor.
Ngokomzekelo, uhlambalaza umhlobo owenza ngokungaqondakali kwi-cafe, ebanga phambi komntu wonke nomhlobo wakhe. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba uyamona, kwaye uya kuba kwindawo yakhe ngokuzonwabisa? Kule meko, awukwazi ukuqonda kunye kwaye uyavuma ...
Kwimitha yonke ...
Umgaqo olandelayo ubaluleke ngokukhethekileyo kwabo bafuna (bakholelwa ukuba, ngaphandle kweenjongo ezilungileyo) ukubonisa, ukukhawuleza, kunceda wonke umntu angakhethi.
Khumbula ukuba kaninzi kangakanani ukufumana into yokuba umntu ubonakala etshilo yonke into eyiyo, kodwa ekubeni engayazi zonke iinguqu zezinto ezenzekayo, amazwi akhe ahlekisayo kwaye ngamaxesha athile ahlaselayo-ubudlelwane obubi bubukeka bukhohlakeleyo?
Xa uza kuveza uluvo lwakho, zibuze: ngaba ucinga ngeengxaki zabanye, uyazi yonke imvelaphi yeemeko zangoku.
Njalo udwebe umgca phakathi kwezinto zakho kunye nemibandela yabantu kunye nobudlelwane: akufanele uhambe apho ungacelwa khona, ngoko awukwazi ukungena embizweni, kwaye awuyi kukhubekisa nabani na.
Iinyani eziphosakeleyo
Ngaba uyazi ukuba yintoni ephazamisayo abantu abaninzi? Akunjalo abo banikeza uvavanyo lwesenzo okanye ukuziphatha komntu, kodwa ezo zihambelana nobuntu bakhe. Akusiyo into yokuba izazi zengqondo zibizela abazali, zinika izimvo kubantwana, zithetha ngokungaziphathi kakuhle, kungekhona ngomntwana ngokwakhe. "Awuzange uyenze ngokufanelekileyo" esikhundleni sokuba "Uyisisityebi (sisisithakazelo, sinqwenela)."
Kuyafana nakwabantu abadala. Ukuba uthetha ngeenyaniso ngaphandle kokulimaza ukuzithemba, awuyi kumbeka umntu kwiimeko ezihlazo xa engazi, zilungele, zizivikele okanye zihlasele.
Zama ukuguqula incoko ngendlela enokuthi udibanisa naye: ulungele ukuvavanya iinjongo zakhe ezilungileyo, kunye naye unenkxalabo yokuba isiphumo sinzima.
Amazwi anyanisekileyo amazwi ahlaselayo-ubudlelwane obonakalisiweyo buya kufakwa ngendlela yehlaya (kodwa kungabi lihlazo!). Ngokuncedwa ihlaya uya kuba lula kwaye ugxininise ukungahambi kakuhle kwezinto ezenzekile, ncedise umntu ngehlazo kwaye athathe imiphumo.
Into ephambili kukuhlonela iimvakalelo zabanye kwaye uzame ukuqonda izizathu zabo. Kwaye mhlawumbi "inyaniso yakho" ayiyi kukhubekisa nabani na.
Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu baxoka baze bathetheke ngamazwi ahlaselayo-ubudlelwane obubi, xa beziva bephosakele, beentloni ngezinye zezenzo zabo, kodwa abazi ukuba bangayilungisa njani imeko. Nangona baqonda ukuba ukukhohlisa kwabo kuyacaca, abakwazi ukuyeka, kuba ngendlela engaqhelekanga bazama ukuphinda baphinde bahlale bekholose nabanye.
Yonke into yayingenanto ...
Ngamanye amaxesha awazi, zithe cwaka okanye uthethe ngaphandle. Umzekelo, phambi kweqela, umhlobo ubonisa indlela entsha yokugqoka. Uyabona ukuba ayihambisani naye. Ngaba ndimele ndixelele ngale nto? Kodwa ayikho enye ingubo ... Ukuba uyakholelwa, uya kuthukuthela, kwaye yonke into kusihlwa uya kuziva ekhohlakeleyo. Ngaba yilokho ufunayo? Kwaye kutheni ungamncedi ukuba athathe izixhobo ezifihla iziphoso? "Ngaloo nqanawa, uya kuba nzima!" Ngoko ngokwenene uya kunceda umhlobo.