Akukho nto iguqula ubomi bethu ngokukhawuleza njengoko kubonakala kwincinane encinane kwindlu. Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala asinakuziqhawula kude nosana okwesibini. Kodwa nangona iinyanga ezimbalwa ezedlule, nangona isisu sase siphila ubomi bayo kwaye sathintela ukudibanisa izicathulo ezicathulweni, singathetha ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba sinabo bonke. Kwakunzima ukugcina unxibelelwano kunye nolwalamano lweentsapho kwiinyanga ezili-9: sasikuthanda ukuya kwiifilimu, ukulungelelanisa ukutya kweentsapho kunye neveki eveleleyo kwanokudansa umtambo emtshatweni womnye osebenza naye. Kodwa emva kokukhutshwa esibhedlele sokubeleka phezu kobuhlobo, amafu amnyama agqityiwe. "Ngamanye amaxesha, ekubeni ngumama, umfazi uguqula yena, kwaye ukucinga kwakhe kwehlabathi kutshintsha. Ukubonakala komntwana, ngokungabalulekanga, kuqala, okwesibini okanye okwesithathu, kubonisa ulawulo olutsha lolo suku, ukwesaba okusha, isangqa esitsha senjongo. " Ulwalamano nabanye luyakushintsha. Ngexesha elithile umfazi uvale kwilizwe lakhe elihamba kude nabahlobo, izalamane kunye nangomyeni wakhe, kwaye oku kuyinto engokwemvelo. Iinyanga ezi-2-3 zokuqala emva kokuzalwa komntwana wethu umzimba uhlangabezana nokuqhaqhaqatha okukhulu: inani lama-hormone, okwandisiwe ngamaxesha ama-50 xa ukhulelwe, lihla ngokukhawuleza. Oomama abancinci bayadabuka ngenxa yesizathu, bayacaphuka, bafumane ubunzima obucacileyo. Le miqondo ibukhali ngakumbi ngenyanga yokuqala, kodwa iya rhoqo kwaye idlula ngokukhawuleza. Abantu baseMelika bambiza le blues baby blues (ekuguquleleni kwamahhala - "ukudikibala okubangelwa kukuzalwa komntwana"). Ngokukhawuleza ibhinqa lisetyenziselwa indima kamama kangangokuba zonke ezinye i-hypostases - abathandana, abafazi, intombi-intombi-ukuya kwisicwangciso sesibini nesithathu. Iinyanga ezi-3-6 zokuqala ufunda ukuqonda umntwana, kwaye oku kushiya amandla akhe kunye nengqalelo. "
Umhlobo omhle
Ufunde kunye kunye neelwimi zaseU.SA, i-origami ehamba kakuhle, yahamba lonke elaseYurophu malunga nesiqingatha sonyaka kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, yabelana ngokusondeleyo. Kodwa emva kokuba ube ngumama, umhlobo wakho omhle akafuni ukuqonda isizathu sokuba ungenalo ixesha elaneleyo. "Ukuba abafazi abadala baxhatshazwa njengabantwana basesikolweni (" Wathengiswa, kodwa akazange andibize "), umntwana uya kuqondwa nje ngokuba ngu-razluchnik, kwaye kungenakwenzeka ukufikeleleka - njengonqulo. Umama kubalulekile ukubeka phambili, ucinge, ngubani othandekayo kuye ngoku - intombi okanye umntwana? Futhi vumela ukuba uthathe ikhefu kulwalamano, ukuze emva kwexesha elithile aphinde abuyele kwakhona. " Kodwa akuyimfuneko ukuphula izibophelelo ngokupheleleyo, ngakumbi kuba kubalulekile ukuthatha imiphumo. Musa ukulibala ngezinye iibhonasi. Ukuba ubuncinane ifestile inkululeko kwixesha lakho elixakekileyo, intombi yakho yedwa iyakuvuma ngokukhawuleza ukuchitha ixesha lakho lokuzonwabisa, kunokuba ngabahlobo bakho, bexinzelelwe ngabantwana nomyeni wakhe. Ukulungisa imeko, ncokola naye kuqala. "Cacisa kumhlobo wakho ukuba unamava amaninzi, ukuba urhulumente wakho utshintshile ngokukrakra kwaye ukhathele kakhulu," icebisa isazi sengqondo. - Bese unikela iskripthi sakho, ngokucacileyo ukubonisa ixesha: "Ndifuna ngokwenene ukukubona, kwaye ngoLwesithathu ebusuku ndiya kuba neeyure ezingama-2 ezikhululekile" okanye "Makhe sibize kwiiveki ezimbini". Ilungiselelo elinjalo linengqiqo ukulungiswa, ukuba ukukhulumisana kukukholisa. Ngaphandle koko, akudingeki ukuba uzenzele phezu kwakho kwaye ulungele intombi yakho, ukuze ungamcaphukisi. Zibuze, kutheni uloyika kakhulu ukulahlekelwa ukudibana nalo mntu? Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lusekwe kumgaqo wokurhweba ngokubambisana "mna-ke -we", ngaba ufuna ngokwenene? Kwimeko nayiphi na into, intombi yakho kufuneka izenzele isigqibo sokuba uzimisele ukuwamkela imigaqo okanye cha.
Abahlobo-abaphikisanayo
Emva kokuzalwa komntwana, wena ngokwakho ngaphandle kokuqaphela, waba ngumhlobo nabahlobo abanabantwana. Ngoku banamandla amakhulu emehlweni akho, ngaphezu kohlobo lwakho oluthile. "Unxibelelwano" nabahlobo-ngezandla ngovuyo "lunceda umama ukunciphisa uxhalabele umntwana." Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha utshintshiselwano lwamava aluhambi kakuhle njengoko liphupha. Isihloko sengxabano sisoloko sifumaneka: ukhetha i-diapers, i-diapers, uvotela ukutya okusemgangathweni, yena-ngokutya okuzenzekelayo ... "Umbuzo akayena othe tye kwaye ngubani ongekho, ngokwenene akhulisa abantwana ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Vala isihloko sinokuba ibinzana elinamandla: "Sonke sahluke." Ukuba kukho umnqweno, cacisa iinkcukacha: "Andiwuthabathe abantwana kwivenkile yokudlela, kuba ndingenazo ukuphumla kunye nokuzonwabisa ukuthetha nawe." Ukuba kukho ukhuphiswano phakathi kwakho kunye nentombi yakho (ophethe isikhwama esithe xaxa, izinwele zihle kakhulu, indoda iyatshatyalaliswa), emva kokuzalwa kwabantwana, iya kuhamba emzimbeni omtsha: umntwana wakhe uhleli phantsi, uhambe okanye uthetha kuqala, owathengayo amathoyizi angaphezulu kumntwana, njalo njalo. "Thelekisa abantwana bungozi. Ukuba ukuziphatha okanye ukuphuhliswa komntwana kubangela ukuba uloyike, amazwi amantombazana angcono ukuyiqonda njengomqondiso wokuthatha isenzo. Umsebenzi wakho awuzukufumana okanye uthintele intombi yakho, kodwa ukunceda umntwana wakho ngokumbonisa ugqirha ngexesha.
I-Oasis iinqwenela kakuhle
Ukuba uye waya emsebenzini kamva emva kokuzalwa komntwana, mhlawumbi udibana nesityholo esisigxina kwinqela elincinci elincinci, elingafundwanga kakuhle kwiimbono ezigwebayo, kodwa ngexesha eli xesha lifumana igobolondo yesandi: "Ngaba awuzange uphuphe ukwenza imfundo yomntwana wakho?" "Wenza njani isigqibo sokuba ushiye umntwana usenzela inceba yomntwana?" Ukumangalelwa okunjalo kukwandisa umva wecala xa uthuthukiswa ngayo. "Abanye abantu bathi oku ngeenjongo ezilungileyo, bekunqwenela kakuhle, kuba bengazi zonke iinkcukacha zobomi bakho obungabikho-ohms. Ukuba ezi ngxelo zibuhlungu, xelela oogxa bakho ngeemvakalelo zakho uze uchaze isizathu sokuphuma kwangaphambili kuloo myalelo: "Ukuba wayesazi ukuba ndizive njani, kodwa umyeni wam wayesanduliwe, kwaye ngoku ndondla intsapho." Kwamaqela omadoda, oomama abancinci bathunyelwa omnye, kodwa akukho myalezo osithumelayo: "Uhlobo luni lomqeshwa ovela kulo ngoku!" Olu hlobo lokubonwa ngokuchanekileyo luyabamba, kwaye uzama ngazo zonke iindlela ukubuyisela ithemba labo osebenza nabo: bahlale eofisini kude kube sekupheleni, bathathe iimbopheleleko ezininzi zama ukuthetha ngomntwana. Ngenxa yoko, wonke umntu uyabandezeleka: oogxa abaphoqelelwe ukukuqinisekisa, kunye nebhokhwe elingenayo ingqalelo yenyameko kanina, kwaye wena ngokwakho. "Ukuba unamathuba okungenani unyaka ukuhlala ekhaya nomntwana wakho, sebenzisa. Ukuba awuyikukhawuleza ukusebenza, kodwa uzinikezele ekukhuliseni umntwana, uya kuba nethemba elisisiseko kwihlabathi ngeli xesha, kwaye unokuzixelela ukuba wenze konke onokukwenza kuye. " Kukho ukwanda lwesithathu kokuphuhliswa kweemeko, xa oogxa bakho benza sengathi akukho nto ekhethekileyo eyenzekayo kuwe. Abavumi ukuvusa phakathi kobusuku ukuba babuze apho umgodi ubamba khona ubuxoki, okanye uchukumise ukuba usebenze ngeveki. Unokuzalisekisa isicelo sakho ngamazinyo akho, okanye cima ifowuni. "Amaqhinga anjalo asinakukunceda ukugcina iiseliti zesiswini, kodwa ngokwenene unina oncelisayo akafanele akhathazeke. Okokuqala, sigqibe ixesha elingakanani ofuna ukuyisebenzisa kulo myalelo. Zibuze: ngaba ndingaya emsebenzini emva kweenyanga ezintathu okanye ngaba ndifuna ukuthatha ubuncinane unyaka? Ukuba ndiphuma ngeenyanga ezi-3, ndiya kuziva njani ke? Ndingamshiya nobani na umntwana? Ngaba ndiza kuzinikela ngokupheleleyo emsebenzini? Emva kokuphuhlisa isicwangciso senkqubo, xelela abaphathi bakho njenge-accomplished accompli: "Kuya kuba kuhle kum umntwana wam, usapho lwam kunye nam. Kuhle ukuba umama osemncinci abe nobugovu, kwaye akufanele ube neentloni. "
Imicimbi yentsapho
Ngokubonakala komntwana, imeko yowesifazane ngaphakathi kwintsapho iyatshintsha. Ngamanye amaxesha uvuka, umzekelo, ukuba unodade osekhulile engenamntwana, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uyawa, umzekelo, ukuba esikhundleni senkwenkwe ende elinde ixesha elide. Kwiimeko zombini, ukugxekwa kudlalwa kumama omncinane. Udade osekhulile, othe, mhlawumbi, ufuna ukutshata, uya kuzama ukuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwakhe, ngokukhawuleza achukumise iimvakalelo zentsha. Amazwi angaphandle athi asikhathaze kuphela ukuba asiyivuyo. Ukuba amagama oodade wakho akulimaza, cinga ngawo. Mhlawumbi awuhlali uvuyo ukuba unjengomfazi wendlu. Ukuba kunjalo, zama ukutshintsha imeko. " Emva kohlwaywa esikuva okanye sithetha, ngokufihlakeleyo ukufihla ukuzithemba, ukuzithemba, ukudabuka ngamathuba alahlekileyo. "Xa uqaphela ukuba udade wakho uyabandezeleka, kuba ubomi bakhe bodwa abuyongezi kwaye amazwi akhe awanalo ulwalamano oluqinileyo nawe, uya kubaphendula ngokuzinzile, kwaye umnqweno wokuphendula okufanayo uya kutshabalala." Kwiintsapho kunye nenzalamizi, abafazi banezinye iingxaki. "Ukuba izalamane zilinde le nkwenkwe, kwaye intombazana ibonakala, umama oselula unecala. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ngaphandle kwelo "iseli yoluntu", olubandakanya ootatomkhulu, oomama nootata, abazalwana kunye noodade abanokwabelana ngeemilinganiselo eziqhelekileyo, unentsapho yakho kunye nemithetho yayo kunye nezinto eziphambili, intsapho leyo intombi yesine - ayiyibizi, kodwa uvuyo olukhulu. "