Abafazi abaninzi abakhulisa abantwana ngokwabo bakholelwa ukuba akunakwenzeka ukutshata okwesibini kunye nomntwana. Kakade, ngeendlela ezininzi baqondwa. Emva kwakho konke, xa unomntwana ezandleni zakho, indoda kufuneka ithathe kwaye ikuthande bobabini. Yingakho abafazi abaninzi besaba ukutshata okwesibini kunye nomntwana, ukuze kungenzeki ukuba utata omtsha angayi kunyanga umntwana, amcaphukise, aphule ingqondo yakhe.
Umlinganiselo wamadoda kubantwana
Yingakho abasetyhini abafuna ukutshata kweso sesibini kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba amava amaninzi ayenawo. Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokuxelela ubomi bakho kumntu, kufuneka ube neempendulo ezintle kwimibandela emininzi. Yaye yokuqala iya kuba yintoni: umntu uhamba njani nomntwana? Ukuze ulwalamano lwentsapho olutsha luhambelane, kubalulekile ukuba umntwana kunye nomyeni omtsha bafunde indlela yokuhamba. Ukuba oku kungenzeki, ngoko kufuneka ukwazi kakuhle ukuba kutheni ungaqhagamshelana naye. Kwimeko xa kunzima kumntwana, ngenxa yokuba engenangqondo, akayi kumbona umntu wakho, uzama ukuphazamisa ubomi bakhe, jonga indlela uyise oza kusabela ngayo. Ukuba umntu ukhawuleza ulahlekelwe ngumsindo wakhe, ikhefu ngalinye, ukukhala kumntwana, akunakwenzeka ukuba ubuhlobo babo buya kuba ngcono. Unokwakha intsapho kuphela xa umnqweno oyise uyayifuna kwaye uzama ukusungula ubudlelwane kwanomntwana onengqondo. Umntu oqhelekileyo, onelanelekileyo ongakuthandi nje kuphela, kodwa unyana wakho okanye intombi yakho, uya kuqonda ukuba ukuphendula okunjalo kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ekubeni abantwana bakholelwa ekubeni unina kuphela. Ingakumbi kwiimeko xa umntwana engenawo uyise. Ngoko ke, umntu kufuneka akwazi ukujonga iindlela zakhe, amkholise, kodwa akukho mzekelo ungathululi ioli phezu komlilo, ukugxeka, ukubiza kunye nokunye okunjalo.
Ukuba ubona ukuba umtsalane unomtsalane kumpapa omtsha, kwaye ubanda okanye azinayo, cinga ngekhulu ngaphambi kokuba ubophe umtshato kulo mntu. Khumbula ukuba umntu othanda ngokwenene uya kubona unyana okanye intombi yakho kumntwana wakho. Akasoze agxininise ukuba lo akuyena umntwana wakhe. Ngokuphambene noko, uya kuhlala egxininisa ukuba yindodana okanye intombi kwaye akayi kumphatha njengomfokazi.
Ikhono lokubonelela intsapho
Umbuzo wesibini omele uthabatheke umfazi: ngaba umntu unako ukubonelela umntwana? Mhlawumbi umntu uya kuthi le nto iyimfuneko, kodwa xa unembopheleleko yobomi bomntu nolonwabo, loo mibuzo ayiyi kuba yinto engabonakaliyo. Inyaniso kukuba amanye amadoda aqala intsapho ngaphandle kokucinga ukuba ingawuxhasa. Ngenxa yoko, abafazi kufuneka babe noxanduva lwezinto zonke. Ngoko, ngaphambi kokuba utshatile, ngokwenene uyayixabisa umfanekiso. Kwaye ukuba uyaqonda ukuba owakhethiweyo esikhundleni sokuba uncedo uya kuba "umlomo olambileyo" omnye, cinga ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho akhulele ngokungabikho kwamathoyizi, iimpahla, ukutya okumnandi, ngenxa yokuba umama wayefuna ukutshata.
Zakho iimvakalelo
Ewe, umbuzo wokugqibela, okwangoku kungabalulekanga: ngaba uyamthanda umntu ofuna ukuba uphume. Emva koko, kudla ukuba kwenzeka ukuba abafazi bafuna ukutshata okwesibini kuba bakholelwa ukuba umntwana ufuna uyise. Ngoko bakhetha ubaba omtsha kunomntu othandekayo. Akufanele nanini wenze imibingelelo enjalo, kuba akukho mntu uya kuvuya kwintsapho apho kungekho luthando. Umntwana uya kuziva kwaye aqonde ukuba ubudlelwane bubuxoki. Kwaye oku, kholwa kwam, akuyi kuzisa ulonwabo. Yaye ingozi enkulu kukuba, mhlawumbi, ekugqibeleni, ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato, kwaye sele sele uqhotyoshelweyo kumntu njengobawo oyinyaniso. Ngoko ke, ukucinga ngomtshato wesibini, soloko uzama ukucinga ngokuchanekileyo kwaye ungenzi imibingelelo engayi kuzisa umntu.
Kodwa ukuba ubona ukuba indoda imthanda ngokwenene umntwana wakho, uzama ukwenza konke ngaye, ayikho i-alfonso kunye nomthwalo wokukhulula, kwaye uyamthanda ngokwenene, ngoko unokutshata okwesibini ngomphefumlo ozolile. Nangona unyana wakho okanye intombi yakho yamkela upapa ngokuqaphela, ekugqibeleni uya kwamkela kwaye aqonde ukuba lo mntu uyamthanda ngokwenene kwaye ungumntu woluntu.