Ngendlela zayo
Ukuba umntwana omncinci uthathwa ngento ethile, ke kungcono ukuba ungaphazamisi. Emva koko akayi kukuphazamisa. Ungakwazi ukuhlala kufuphi nawe, uhlale uphawuleze ishishini lakho okanye uthethe - akayi kukunika ingqalelo kuwe. Ngenxa yokuba abantwana abaneminyaka engaphantsi kweminyaka emi-2 ubudala, banokugxila kwinto enomdla ngokupheleleyo kwaye ngelo xesha, njengoko bethetha, "abayikubona-abayiva". Kodwa ukuba uyasiphazamisa umntwana, ke akunakwenzeka ukuba abuyele kumdlalo wakhe - i-mood yayo iya kulahleka. Kwimizuzu engama-2-3 ingqwalaselo iya kuba yinto eguquguqukayo, nangona ihlala ingatshatanga. Umntwana unokukwazi ukuphazamisa ngokwakhe, umzekelo, kwizwi lakho, kwaye uqhubeke nomsebenzi wakhe. Kamva, ukususela kwiminyaka engama-4, uqala ukuqwalasela ingqalelo yesibini (ekugqibeleni iya kukhula ukuya kwiminyaka engama-6). Ngoku umntwana angenza izinto ezimbini ngelo xesha-ngokuqhelekileyo njengomntu omdala. Umzekelo, ukuthetha nawe, ungakhangeli phezulu kwi shishini lakho, okanye ukhangele imifanekiso, udibanisa umyili. Ngeli xesha, abantwana bakulungele iiseshoni zoqeqesho, kuba bagcina imiyalelo kakuhle. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntwana oneminyaka emi-5 ubudala, oneminyaka engama-6 ubudala, abe ngumntu ongenakunceda, ngoko unokuthi akhathele. Ingqondo yakhe ikhuselwe ekugqithiseni umthwalo ngokuqondisa ingqalelo kwisiteshi esisodwa kuphela. Yaye "akayi kubona-ayiva". Musa ukumgxeka ngale nto. Uphonononge olungcono urhulumente wosuku - ngaba kukho ixesha elaneleyo kwimidlalo yamahhala kunye nokuzonwabisa?
Ngokuzikhethela nangenxaxheba
Kuze kube yiminyaka emihlanu, ingqalelo yomntwana ingenangqiqo, oko kukuthi, kubangelwe kuphela kwiipropati zento, ngaphandle kwemizamo yangaphakathi. Into entsha, eqaqambileyo, inomdla ngokuqinisekileyo ukutsala intsana, kungakhathaliseki ukuba uxakeke kangakanani. Okokuqala, abazali basebenzisa le propati ngokuzenzekelayo. Umzekelo, ngenjongo yokuphazamiseka. Umntwana oneminyaka elilodwa udibanisa izandla zakhe kwi-vase ebiza kakhulu kwaye ubonakalisa indlela yakhe yokubonakala ngayo indlela engayiziva ngayo ngaphandle kwalo mdlalo. Ukunyanzeliswa, iziphakamiso zokunyamekela into elula ayincedi. Into eseleyo kuphela ukumbamba umntwana ngokukhawuleza kwaye, egijima ewindow, umemeza uthi: "Khangela, yintoni intaka ejikelezayo khona." Kwaye umntwana uyavuya, kwaye i-vase ifihlekile. Kwaye iimboniso ngexesha lokutya! Umntwana uyavuya xa ebona uyise omkhulu egqoke ingxowa ngentsimbi yomloba kunye nentonga yokuloba, kwaye abazali ba landela zonke iingcebiso ngokutya okunempilo, ukumondla (inkunzi, inzala, utata), i-broccoli kunye ne-carrots puree. Kodwa ke umntwana uyakhula, kwaye abazali baqala ukuphendula: "Ngentsasa ndibeka phambi kweTV ukugqoka ngokukhawuleza. Ngoko yonke into ibuye emva nangaphambili, ithotshelwe kwaye ikhutshwe ngokugqithiseleyo "," Ndabona ibhola esitratweni - ndagijima, ndingajongi ngapha nangapha "," Ayikwazi ukugxila xa bethetha emva komnyango ". Kuzo zonke iziganeko, abazali bahlambalaza abantwana ngenxa yokungalindelekanga, ukungabikho kwengqondo. Enyanisweni, le mizekelo yeengqalelo ezijoliswe kakhulu. Kuphela akuqondiswa kwinto abantu abadala abayidingayo, kodwa yintoni enomdla kumntwana okwangoku. Ukulawula ingqalelo yomntwana uya kuba nako kuphela ngonyaka wesithandathu wobomi - kwaye ngokokuqala ngcinane kakhulu. Ukuqwalaselwa ngokukhawuleza (xa umntwana ephazamiseka ngamabomu kwizinto ezithandayo, ugxila kwizinto ezifunekayo) kufuna inkcitho enkulu yamandla kunye namandla angqondo. Ungaphuthelwa ixesha elinjalo - qi niseka ukuba udumise umntwana ngenxa yento ayenzayo. Bonisa ukuba bayamangalisa ngamandla akhe kunye namandla (hlala uze udwebe i-postcard ku-ugogo wakhe, xa bonke abanye bebukela i-movie - oku kuyisenzo ngokwenene), kwaye uncedise ukuzinikezela. Umntwana uyazi ukuba iinzame zakhe aziyize, kwaye uza kubona imizekelo emininzi yokuqwalasela ngokuzithandela.
Ukuqeqesha
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akukho mzamo okhethekileyo wokuphuhlisa ingqalelo. Umntwana okhulayo kwintsapho kwaye ekhokelela indlela yokuphila yabantwana, uphuhliso luqhubekela phambili. Kodwa yonke into efanayo, kuxhomekeka kubantu abadala kunye nabangakanani abantwana abatshelayo, apho ahamba khona, yintoni na amathoyizi ayidlalayo - yoko kutheni impembelelo yethu ekuphuhlisweni kwayo yonke imisebenzi ecacileyo ibonakala. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana abazali abathanda imvelo banamathela. Emva koko, ukujonga imvelo kukuqeqesha okugqibeleleyo kokuqwalasela, ngakumbi ukuba ubeka ingqalelo kuzo zonke iinguqulelo. Ekuqaleni, abantu abadala bathi: "Khangela ukuba la maqabunga amhlophe kangakanani, jonga ngokukhawuleza ientyatyambo zaqhakaza," kwaye umntwana ubandakanyeke kule nkqubo kwaye ufumanisa oko kushiywa ngaphandle kokuqwalaselwa kwabantu abadala. Ukuphuhliswa kwengqwalasela kubandakanyeka nokuba bangaphi abazali abaxoxa nabantwana babo. Abantwana babazali abaxubushayo bafundela ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokukhawuleza kunokuqwalasela ngokuzithandela. Amamazana amabini anika abantwana babo ama-albhamu, amapensele kwaye banikele ukupenda iphethini. Umntu wokuqala uhleli phantsi kwayo, okwesibini iyahamba nayo yonke inkqubo yokudweba ngengxoxo. "Yeyiphi imodeli enkulu, makhe siqale peyinti malunga nemida, ke uye kwiziko ... Yile ndlela eyenzeka ngayo. Ewe, ndibonise ... "). Uwuphi umehluko? Kukho umahluko. Umama wesibini ngale ndlela elula ubonisa izakhono ezibalulekileyo zokunakekela umntwana. Uyamfundisa ukuba aphulaphule umyalelo kwaye awugcine kuyo yonke iseshoni, aphule umyalelo kwiindawo ezincinci aze akhe ukulandelelana kwezenzo zakhe kwizinto ezilula ukuya kwinkimbinkimbi, kwaye kumnceda ukuba athole izakhono zokuzithiba. Kakade ke, oku akuthethi ukuba kuyo nayiphi na imisebenzi yomntwana ofuna ukuyithatha inxaxheba, unike iingcebiso, kodwa umntwana oneminyaka engama-4 ukuya kweyesihlanu ukuya kwimizuzu "ngezifundo" ziya kuba luncedo kakhulu. Ngokukhawuleza uqala ukuphawula ngezenzo zakhe, njengokungathi uzisiza ngentetho ("Inxalenye ebomvu kufuneka idibaniswe nomhlophe ... Kulungile, ndiya kwenza oku emva koko, kwaye ngoku ...") Ngexesha lokufunda okusebenzayo (iminyaka engama-6-7), imiyalelo iya kugqitywa ngomlomo, umntwana uya kufunda ukunyamekela, ukulandela imiyalelo ngaphandle kwengxelo yangaphandle.
Midlalo e luncedo
Ukuphuhlisa ingqalelo kukho imidlalo emininzi. Zilula kakhulu kubantu abadala kwaye zinomdla kubantwana. Fumana umdlalo. Umntu omdala unikeza uphawu lwesitokisi (esikhulu, ubomvu), umntwana kufuneka akufumene kwigumbi. Umdala omdala, imisebenzi enzima kunokuba nayo. Umntwana oneminyaka emi-5, oneminyaka engama-6 unokunikezela ukuba angakhangeli kwelinye igumbi, kodwa kuyo yonke indlu - kwaye akukho nendawo enkulu kakhulu. Yintoni yatshintshile? Ukufika komntwana kwisitalato okanye kwi-kindergarten, utshintshe into kwindawo yokuhlala (susa iilindi ezimi kwindawo evelele, susa isigqubuthelo ebhedeni lakhe, ulungiselele iintyatyambo). Ukuba umntwana engayithobeli, mcele uze umenze acinge. Ukuba, nakule meko, nawe ufumana utshintsho kuye, utshintshe imithetho yomdlalo encinci. Ngaphambili, ndixelele ukuba kukho into eya kutshintsha kuye, uze ucebise ukuba ufumene olu tshintsho. Khangela kum. Ukhangelelana ngomzuzu, uze uphenduke imibuzo kwaye uyicele imibuzo enye: "Ndiyintoni imbala enotshisi?" - Umdlalo onjalo uya kuba mnandi xa unina unika encinane kwaye udibanise yonke into. Yintoni engaphantsi kwesikraphu? Oku akukona nje umdlalo, kodwa kunye novavanyo lokumisela inani lokuqwalaselwa. Thatha izinto ezincinane ze-7-10, zimboze. Emva koko uvule imizuzwana emithathu uze ucele umntwana ukuba abize oko akubonayo ngeli xesha. U-4, oneminyaka emi-5 ubudala ubiza umnxeba omnye (kule minyaka iyinto eqhelekileyo), oneminyaka engama-6 ubudala ulawula ukubona izifundo ezingu-2-3. Inqaku eliqhelekileyo lokujonga ingqalelo lomntu omdala yimpahla engama-7. Ndi thintele! Xa umntwana efunda imbongo, sizama ukuphazamisa kuye: cima iTV, uthetha ngokuthula. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka wenze okungafaniyo - ukudala ukuphazamiseka. Vula i-TV uze ufunde isigqi, ukunyanzelisa ukuba ugxininise kwiimingcipheko ezinjalo (okokuthi, kuluphi umabonakude akufanele kube mnandi kumntwana).
Icandelo elikhethekileyo
Ukunyanzeliswa kwengqalelo kubantwana bachazwe ngabafundi beengqondo kwiminyaka eyikhulu edlulileyo, kodwa ngoku ukuxilongwa kwe-ADHD (ingqalelo yokulahleka kweengxaki ze-hyperactivity syndrome) ihlangane kaninzi. Izizathu zengxaki aziqondi kakuhle - njengomthetho, umntwana ngamnye unxulumene neemeko ezingathandekiyo. Ngenye, oogqirha, ootitshala kunye neengqondo zezinto zengqondo babumbene: isiseko se-syndrome yinkalo yesakhiwo kunye nokusebenza kwengqondo, kungekhona ukukhuliswa. Ngoko "ukulwa" nokungabikho kokuqwalaselwa kunye nokunyuka komsebenzi akuyi kusebenza. Ukulungelelanisa umntwana kwiimeko ze-kindergarten, kwaye ke isikolo, kuyimfuneko ukuqwalasela ezi mpawu zophuhliso. Abantwana abanalo le ngxaki bangakwazi ukungafani (ngoko i-syndrome ibizwa ngokuba yi-polymorphic), kodwa zonke zinempawu ezifanayo. Kuyisichukumiso, ubukhali bokuziphatha, ukuqhuba umqhubi wemoto kunye nokukwazi ukugxila. Kwaye ukuphulwa akufanele kuthatyathwe kuzo zonke iimeko zokuziphatha okunjalo, kodwa kuphela ezo zinto zibonakaliswa kumntwana rhoqo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ziphi indawo, kwaye zidale iingxaki kuye nakwabanye. Umntwana uqala ishishini - kwaye ngokukhawuleza uyishiye, ungagqiba. Ngamanye amaxesha kwanabantwana abaneminyaka emi-5 ubudala, abaneminyaka engama-6, banokuthi babe nokuziphatha kwentsimi-xa umntwana ethatha yonke into efikele kuyo, ephosa ngokukhawuleza. Umsebenzi weenqwelo-mhlaba unenjongo: ujikeleza, ugijime, ukhuphuke, uhambisa izinto etafileni, ungaphenduli kwiingxelo. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana abanjalo abaqapheli izibonakaliso zengozi: banokungena ngaphaya kwendlela ngaphambi kweendlela zokuhamba kweemoto, batyelele emanzini, abakwazi ukubhukuda. Kwaye nokuba namava abo awabafundisi - ngexesha elizayo umntwana angaphinda enze into efanayo. Umntwana uvame ukulahlekelwa izinto kwisitrato, kwi-kindergarten, ngamanye amaxesha akakwazi ukufumana indlu ekhaya - aze athukuthele, aqale ukukhala, abe nolwazi. Akathandi ukwenza into enyanzelekileyo, efuna ukugxininiswa. Ukuba udlala nabantwana abaningana, uhlala engena kwimpikiswano, ngenxa yokuba akazi indlela yokulandela imigaqo, ukulandelelana kunye nokuthetha. Ukubuzwa malunga nento ethile umntu omdala akakwazi ukuphulaphula ukuphela, ugxeka, uchaza imbono yakhe, aze aphinde abuyele kumbuzo wakhe. Ewe, abantwana abanjalo bayaphazamisa kakhulu, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukusebenzisa iindlela eziqhelekileyo zemfundo kubo. Ukunyusa, ukugxeka, ukubonisa ingozi yalesi okanye isenzo kwimimiselo ebomini-konke oku akunamsebenzi. Kufuna uncedo olubanzi lwezokwelapha, lwengqondo kunye nolwazi lokufundisa. Kodwa abazali bafanele bazi imithetho emininzi yokunxibelelana nabantwana abanenkcitho. Ukuqondisa umsebenzi wabo ogqithiseleyo kwisitishi esinokuthula. Imisebenzi yezemidlalo engahambelaniyo (ukubhukuda, i-athletics, i-acrobatics) iyayinceda kakhulu, iya kunceda abantwana baqonde ukuba banako. Gwema imisebenzi emininzi, ukuzonwabisa, ukunxibelelana - aba bantwana kunzima ukuzincama, buyela kwisiqhelo. Ukuziqhelanisa nemiyalelo ngokuthe ngcembe, ngokoqobo kumagama amabini. Abantwana abanokungqalelo kunye nobunzima bamele banyamezele imiyalelo emide (kwaye baninzi kubo - ngamazwi angaphezu kwe-10), abakwazi ukuva. Ngoko kukho iingcaciso ezincinci ezimbalwa, ngokufutshane kunye ngokucacileyo. Kwiminyaka emininzi ubudala esikolweni ubudala iimpawu ziyahlanjululwa, zenzeke ngokupheleleyo kwaye aziphazamisi ukufunda kunye noqhagamshelwano. Ngokona nxalenye, oku kukufaneleka kwabazali, ngoko ke kufuneka uqale ngokukhawuleza.