Sonke sifuna inkxaso evela kubantu abasondele kuthi, sithemba, sityhila iimfihlo zethu, sikholelwe ukuba asiyi kukhohliswa. Sidinga ukufudumala okunyanisekileyo kunye nesimo sokuzithemba ukuba baya kusixhasa, baya kusinceda. Sibeka ithemba lethu kunye nethemba kubathandekayo size sibavumele ebomini bethu nasezintliziyweni zethu, ngamanye amaxesha sibeka uxanduva malunga nabo kwisigqibo sethu. Kwaye bubuhlungu ngaphezu kwethu ukunyenga, sisondele kumntu osithengayo, ngakumbi samthemba.
Ukutshatyalaliswa kuthetha ukuba kwakukho isivumelwano esaphulile, kwaye nangemva kwayo. Oku kukuphulwa kwethemba kwizinto ezibalulekileyo kubantu. Enyanisweni, naluphi na ukungcatsha. Kuphela kungekhona nje ngokwenyama, kodwa nangokuziphatha. Kwaye kwenzeka njalo kungalindelekanga, ukungcatsha akunakulindelwa ngokupheleleyo.
Ukuba uthengiswa, iimvakalelo zihlala ziphazamisekile. Umzekelo, umfazi washintshwa ngumyeni wakhe. Zonke iingcamango zakhe nezenzo ziya kuthethwa ngumsindo. Namhlanje ukhangele izizathu zokungcatsha kwakhe, ukumba ngaphakathi kuye, ukukhangela iimpazamo zakhe, ukuzitshitshisa ngenxa yokungcatsha kwakhe. Ngomso uyamthiya, ucinga ukuba ungumgwenxa onobuqili, obhubhisa umtshato ovuyayo. Emva koko uyazisola, ukhumbule ukuba ngumfazi omuhle kangakanani, unzima kangakanani umgudu awawubeka kulo mtshato, uyakhala, ahlaselwe kukudandatheka. Emva koko, ngaphantsi kwefuthe lale ngcamango, uqala ukumkhangela, ukumbiza, ukusola, ukusongela, ukuthuka, ukukhala, ucele ukuba ubuyele, njl njl, kuxhomekeke kwimeko. Oku kuziphatha kakubi, kuba ingxaki ingaphendululwa, le ntokazi idideke ngakumbi, ingxaki yeemvakalelo zakhe kunye neemvakalelo azikwazi ukuzenza. Kufuneka ukuba uzame ukusombulula ingxaki, kuya kunceda ukulahla amava. Ngaphambi kokuba nantoni na enokuyenza, kufuneka uhlalise uze ucinge ngentloko 'ebandayo' kwaye ungagqithisi ukushisa ekutshiseni, uze uphephe imiphumo yento eyenziwe phantsi kwefuthe leemvakalelo.
Ukuba uthengiswa, kufuneka uzame ukusinda kule ntlungu, xolela umntu kwaye uvumeleke ukuhamba kwimeko. Kufuneka ucinge ngawe, malunga neminqweno yakho kunye neminqweno. Ukuba wabelane ngamathemba kunye namaphupha kunye nabanikezelayo, bakhululwe kwaye ubabale.
Akunjalo kuphela ukunyeliswa kukukhathaza, kodwa kwanengcinga nje malunga nokungcatsha. Zama ukutshintsha umbono wakho weemeko kunye neengcinga malunga nayo, tk. Awukwazi ukutshintsha oko kwenzeka. Zama ukutshintsha iingcamango ezimbi kunye neengcamango zenceba kumntu onetyala kwaye ungamthobeli.
Musa ukuzibamba zakho iimvakalelo. Ukukhupha i-negative ngendlela eyamkelekileyo, umzekelo, khala, khala, ubhale ileta enobungozi uze uyitshise, yitshise umlotha, uthethe kumntu othembelayo, uye kumkelwa kwi-psychologist. Wena. Okokuqala kufuneka ulahlekise yonke into engekho nto ehleli phantsi emphefumlweni wakho, oza kukuphazamisa, ukuphazamisa isimo sakho sengqondo, impilo kunye nokuphazamisa uxolo lwakho lwengqondo. Zonke iintukuthelo, ukrakra, inzondo ongazange usebenze nayo kwaye engaphumanga, iya kukutshabalalisa ngaphakathi.
Zama ukuqwalasela le meko ngenye yezinto ozifunayo. Ngamanye amaxesha kunceda ukusinda ukutshatyalaliswa. Yiba ngumrhwebi endaweni, zama ukuqonda izizathu zakhe. Mhlawumbi umntu wayephosakeleyo, kodwa akazange akwenze kakubi kuwe. Kulula kakhulu ukuxolela umntu ongeyonto engalunganga kunomntu owenza ngenjongo kunye nobungendawo. Njengoko ubomi bubonisa, nantoni na isenzo esibi sisoloko sinesizathu esinesizathu kwaye silawulwa ngumntu othile obuthathaka. Kwaye ke ukudibanisa kweemeko, ixesha, indawo kunye nabantu bagqiba umcimbi. Kwaye ababuthakathaka nabo kulula ukuxolela kunabantu ababi.
Kuthekani kuthi xa kwenzeka into engaxolelwayo? Ukuba oku akuyiphutha kwaye kungekhona ubuthakathaka, kodwa izenzo ezimbi zenzelwe umntu? Unomsindo kumrhwebi, kunye nawe kunye nokunyaniseka kwakho. Mhlawumbi ucinga ngokuphindezela. Kodwa ukunxanelwa kwempindezelo yinto ewonakalisayo. Ukongezelela, ngokuvutha komsindo, abantu abaninzi bafuna ukuziphindisela, kodwa, njengoko bethetha, impindezelo yinto ekufuneka ibanjwe kubanda. Ngoko ke, shiya ingcamango yokuphindiselela, akunakwenzeka ukuba uncede, kuba ayiyi kuphelisa into yokuba uziphatha kakubi.
Ukuxolela nokuba ungenakuthethelelwa, zama ukuqonda oko kwenza umntu enze oku kuwe. Wenzani kuye ngokubi kangangokuthi wanquma ukukulimaza? Ekubeni lo ngumntu osondeleyo, kuthetha ukuba kufuneka abe nezizathu ezinzulu. Umntu osondeleyo akakwazi ukukwenza ngokuzithandela. Mhlawumbi nawe wenzanga okubi ngoku kanye? Cinga ngezinto ongayenza kwaye nini. Ukuba ufumana impendulo, cela ukuxolelwa ngenxa yeso sabelo sobubi osibangele. Uya kuziva ungcono.
Kwiimeko zobomi obunzima, ingakumbi ukuba ungeke ukwazi ukujamelana nayo, ingcinga efanelekileyo iya kuba yinkqubo ye-psychotherapy. Ingcali yengqondo iza kukunceda uziqonde ngokwakho, kwiimvakalelo zakho nangemvakalelo yakho, kukuxelela indlela yokusinda kwimeko enzima yobomi.
Zama ukumxolela umrhwebi uze ubale. Cinga ngolu hlobo ngoku awuyi kuthetha nomqambimanga, umntu ongathembekanga, umhlobo okhohlisayo okanye umlingane (oh), okulungileyo, kuba awuyi kujikelezwa ngabantu ababi. Jonga imeko ngenye indlela. Ukuba iqabane lakho litshintshe (a), awuyi kuphinda ukhokelwe yimpumlo, ngoku unelungelo lokudibana nomntu onyanisekileyo, othembekileyo nothando. Ukuba uthe wangcatsha umhlobo, kulungile ukuba ufumene ngoku, kwaye kungekhona kwimeko ebalulekileyo kakhulu yokuphila, ukuba akanakuthenjwa.
Into ephambili kukuba ngekamva awuyi kuyeka ukuthemba abantu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukufanelekile ukucinga malunga nokuba umntu ufanelwe ukuba uthembeke kwaye uvulekile, kodwa ukuba uvale ngokupheleleyo kubantu, ngoko uya kuba novuyo. Umntu ongenamthemba umntu, uqala ukukhathazeka. Awukwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kwenkxaso, inkxaso kunye nokwethemba. Kodwa xa kunjalo, uyazi ukuba usaphila njani ukutshatyalaliswa komntu othandekayo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo ndinqwenela ukuba ufumane umntu ofanelekileyo wokumthemba!