Kungenxa yoko, ngoku sithetha malunga nendlela yokuziphatha ebomini, indlela yokwenza izinto ezinzulu, indlela yokuzincama. Ngoko, okokuqala, machaze iimeko apho awukwazi ukuzincama. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukungafuni ukuziphatha ngokuzinzileyo kubangelwa ziziganeko xa kukho into engenzekiyo njengoko ufuna, umntu uziphatha kakubi okanye akanakuphatha ngenhlonipho. Ewe, le nto ayimnandi kwaye ufuna, nokuba yintoni eyenzayo, ukukhusela indawo yakho ebomini. Kodwa, emva koko, kungekhona zonke iimeko, eqinisweni, njengokuba ucinga ngokuqala.
Umzekelo, awukwazi ukuzincama ngenxa yokuba umntu ungalunganga kwaye akakwazi ukuvuma impazamo yakhe. Okokuqala, makhe sibone ukuba lo mntu uziphatha njani malunga nobomi bakho, okanye awuyithandanga imbono yakhe. Ukuba umntu ufuna nje ukuziphatha njengoko ebona kufanelekile, ngoko unelungelo lokwenza njalo. Kwaye nangona umbono wakhe ungalunganga. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unokuzama ukumkholisa, kodwa, akufanele uhambe ngokumemeza kunye nokumangalela. Oku akunakuphumeza nantoni na. Ingakumbi ukuba uthetha nendoda. Abafana badinga iingxabano, kungekhona amahlazo. Funda ukuzibamba. Ukuze uyeke ukumemeza, ukuba uhlalise kwaye unzulu, kufuneka ufike ngendlela yakho. Abaninzi bancomela ukuba bafike kwii-10, kodwa, akuncede wonke umntu. Kwabanye, i-akhawunti enokucaphukisa, kwaye endaweni yokuzinqabisa, umntu uqala ukuziphatha ngokungafanelekanga. Ngoko ke, cinga ngento eyancancisayo. Ngokomzekelo, unokumela ulwandle okanye ukhumbule into ukusuka ebuntwaneni. Enyanisweni, wonke umntu unemikhumbuzo enokumncinciza nokuchulumisa umphefumlo wakhe. Qinisekisa ukuba yintoni eyenzekayo kuwe kwaye uyisebenzise. Kakade, ekuqaleni akuyi kuba lula, kodwa, ungumntu, kwaye umntu wayesazi indlela yokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe xa efuna. Nangona kubonakala kuwe ukuba akunjalo, ucinga nje izizathu. Kukho imizekelo emininzi apho abantu bokwenene be-choleric, ngokubambisana nabo, bajika baba ngabadlali abangenakunceda. Abantu abaye baqhelana nabo emva kokuba "inguqu" enjalo babengenakuze bacinge ukuba lo mntu wayeseqalile ukufumana isiqingatha sentlawulo. Enyanisweni, yonke into inokwenzeka, kufuneka nje uyifunayo.
Nangona ungathandi ukuziphatha kunye nombono womntu, kuba kumlimaza, kwaye uyayigqala, okanye wena ngokwakho, kukho iindlela zokuzinqabisa kwaye ungaphenduli kuwo. Okokuqala, sifunde ukuzilumko noqatha. Ukuze kuqinisekiswe umntu omthandayo, akufuneki nje ukuba ugxininise ukuba uphosakele. Kubalulekile ukuveza ubungqina kunye neengxabano. Nangona uthetha i-delirium ecacileyo, musa ukuphazamisa okanye ukumemeza. Makhe akhulume yonke into ayifunayo, uze ubeke umoya wakho umbono. Xa siphazamisa abantu, bayithatha njengento yokungabi nantlonelo kunye nesalathiso sento engacatshangwanga nayo. Ngoko ke, nangenzondelelo enzima zama ukubonisa ubungqina babo. Ukuba ubaphulaphula, kubonakala ngathi kukho into ovumelana nayo. Ngoko ke, emva kokuba ubonise uluvo lwakho, kunamathuba amaninzi ukuba uya kuphulaphulwa, kuba umchasi uya kuziva ukuba kukho iingcinga zakhe ngamazwi akho.
Xa siphoswa kwaye sithukwa, sihlala sifuna ukumemeza nokuzikhusela nangayiphi na indlela. Kodwa, asiyiqondi ukuba ithoni ebandayo kunye neempendulo ezicingayo zinokuthi zibe nefuthe kumntu esifuna kuye. Ukuhlambalaza umntu, umntu njengenjongo ubeka umchasi ukuba amemeza, iinyembezi kunye nentukuthelo. Ukuba ungamniki oku, uyacaphuka. Ngako oko, ukwenzela ukuba uphephe umoni lowo angenzi ngendlela enqwenela ngayo. Hlalani nizolile kwaye nilungelelanise. Bonisa yonke imbonakalo yakho ukuba awucingi ngamagama akhe into ebalulekileyo kuwe. Kwaye, ngelixa "ngokwenene eqhubela phambili," endaweni yokuphazamisa amagama kunye nokubiza amagama, bhetele ucinge ngempendulo efanelekileyo kwaye umxelele xa ummangalelwa egxilile, esenza isigqibo sokuba uthatha phezulu.
Ukuze uhlaziye ngokukhawuleza komsindo nomnye umntu, kufuneka ukwazi ukucaca kulo mntu kwaye ungayithobeli amazwi akhe. Akufanele ukunamathela entliziyweni nasemphefumlweni. Cinga ngokwakho, kutheni uphazamise imizwa yakho ngenxa yabo banqwenela ububi. Kwaye nangona bengenakufuna, kodwa nje musa ukuziphatha ngendlela ofuna ngayo, kutheni uzixhalabele kwaye uchithe ubuhlobo.
Kungenxa yoko akufanele uvumele into engathandeki entliziyweni yakho. Vumela amagama omntu atye kuphela ingqondo aze athole impendulo efanelekileyo. Ewe, okokuqala kunzima ukwenza oku. Kodwa, ke, kukho indlela yokuphuma. Kufuneka nje ukuba ujoyine uhlobo lokuziqeqesha nokuzilawula. Kwimeko apho uqonde ukuba umntu uthethile into ayilungile, kodwa ufuna ukumemeza nokukhupha, ngokukhawuleza udibanise kunye. Qalisa ukuziqinisekisa ukuba unelungelo lokuba uluvo lwakhe lokuba awunakuchaphazeleka ngombono womntu onqwenela ububi, ukuba nangona umntu eziphatha kakubi, lo bubomi bakhe kwaye unelungelo lokukhokela. Kwimeko nganye, unokuzichaza ngokucacileyo, into eyona nto kukuba isebenza kuwe. Ungazivumeli ukuba uphumule uze uzikholise uze uzive ukuba uzinzile. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uya kubona ukuba awusayi kufuna ukumemeza nokuthetha ngaphandle. Uza kufunda ukuthetha kuphela xa kunengqiqo, kwaye kungenangqiqo ongayi kuyenza. Kwaye oku akuthethi ukuba uya kuba ngumntu ongenakukhathazeka ongenakhathalela ngeengcamango zabanye abantu kunye neengxaki. Ngokulula, uya kufunda ukuba ungayi kuguqula ezi ngxaki.