Ukuze ugcine umthandayo kwiingxaki zakhe, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda ukuba yintoni ingcambu yayo. Unokukrazula ubunzima kuphela ukuba uyazi ukuba yintoni eyayiyimbangela yayo yokuqala. Enyanisweni, kunokwenzeka ukuba lula ukukhupha umntu othandayo ukungabi nalukhuseleko kuye, kufuneke ukuba afune indlela kwaye angabi nzima.
Ngoko, njani ukulahla umntu othandekayo kwizinto ezincinci? Makhe sizame ukuqonda le meko size siqonde oko kubangela ubunzima? Ngokuqhelekileyo, iingxaki zomntu ngamnye zivela ebuntwaneni bakhe. Ukuze ugcine umsindisi kwiingxaki, kuyadingeka ukwazi kakuhle indlela akhula ngayo kwaye ubuhlobo bakhe bunjani kwintsapho kunye noontanga bakhe. Umthandi wakho unokuba engavumelani nentlungu kunye nentukuthelo kubazali bakhe. Yilokho kwisiqingatha seemeko ezibangelwa iimvakalelo zokungaphantsi. Le meko ivela xa umntwana ephakanyiswa kwintsapho engaphelelanga okanye ekhula kunye nootatomkhulu. Sonke siyaqonda ukuba uluntu ngamanye amaxesha lunokuba lukhohlakele ngakumbi kunabantu abadala. Abantwana abahlali becinga ngamazwi abo. Ukuba, umzekelo, umfana akanalo uyise okanye akazange akhuliswe ngumama, ngoko iingxaki zibangelwa yimbuzo ebuzwe ngabanye abantwana: Uphi uyihlo? Uphi na unyoko? Kwaye kutheni unyoko akuthandi?
Ngokuqinisekileyo, izizathu zalo mkhuba kubazali bomntu omncinci zingabonakala zihluke kakhulu, njengoko zichanekileyo, kwaye akunjalo. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana uvakalelwa engaphelelanga, ecatshukiswa ngabazali kwaye engaqaphelisanga, kwaye ngokuqonda, uqala ukukholelwa ukuba akukho mntu unokumthanda. Oku kubonakaliswa kwisenzo esicasulayo nento enyanyekayo kubantu abaninzi, kunye nomnqweno onjalo wokubonisa ukuba akafanelanga wena kwaye awukwazi ukumthanda. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukubonakalisa oku, umfana akacaphukisi abanye, kodwa nje uziphatha ngokungathandekiyo. Olu bunzima lukhuni kunzima ukutshabalalisa. Inyaniso kukuba ingcamango yokuba "andithandi kakhulu" ayidliwayo kakhulu kungekhona kuphela ekuzileni, kodwa nakwi-subconscious. Kwaye umsebenzi wakho oyintloko kukubonakalisa intsha: unokuthile okuthandayo. Kodwa kule meko, into ephambili ayiyikugoba intonga. Ukuba uyayilumkisa kakhulu loo mntu, ekugqibeleni uya kuqala ukusebenzisa wena, kwaye oku akunakuvunyelwa naluphina. Ngoko nje zama ukumbonisa ukuba akayithandanga, kwaye ukulungele ukumnceda nayiphi na imeko, kodwa ngelo xesha ungeke usombulule zonke iingxaki zakhe. Aba bantu abanalo uthando olwaneleyo lomama. Ngokuqhelekileyo kubathandekayo bafuna ububele kunye nokukhuselwa. Zama ukugcwalisa le galelo emphefumlweni wakhe, kodwa ungaguquki kwinkukhu, ekhupha i-speck of dust. Khumbula ukuba ungumntu okhulile kwaye kufuneka asombulule iingxaki zakhe. Kodwa unako ukuza kuwe ukuxhasa kwaye uqiniseke ukuba awuyi kumshiya, uncede ngeengcebiso nangokwenza, inkxaso kunye nokuqonda naziphi na izimo. Abantu abanjalo kufuneka baqiniseke ukuba izalamane ziya kuhlala zihlangula, aziyi kushiya enye kwiingxaki zakhe. Ngendlela, le meko ayifanelekanga kuphela kuwe, kodwa nakwabahlobo bakhe abasondeleyo. Kulo luntu uluntu aluqhelekanga ukuba linyamekele omnye komnye, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu kubantu abanjalo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uhamba kakuhle kunye nabahlobo bakhe, unobtrusively kwaye nixoxe ngokucophelela ngale meko kwaye nibabuze ukuba baxhase umhlobo wabo ngakumbi kwaye bangabetheli indawo ezigulayo, kwintlonelo. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba uyamxabisa kwaye uyahlonishwa, ingxaki iza kupheleka.
Kwakhona, ubunzima obungaphantsi buya kubangelwa ukungaboni kakuhle kunye neentloni zontanga ebuntwaneni nasebuntwaneni. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenzeka kwiimeko apho umntwana unengqiqo kunabo abakhulayo kunye naye, akanakho imikhwa emibi, usebenza kwiisalathisi kwaye uyathobela. Ezi zinkimbinkimbi azilula ukucinga ngokudala, kodwa ke, xa uqaphela umntu ongcono, zibonakalisa ngokwayo ngamandla. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu abancinci bazama ukukholisa abanye ngexesha elifanayo kwaye ngelo xesha bazama ukubonisa ukuba bangcono. Oku kungabonakaliswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo: ulwazi olubanzi kwimimandla emininzi, ezemidlalo, umxhelo kunye nokunye okuninzi. Kwiqhelana lokuqala kunzima ukubona ubunzima kwihambo yomntu onjalo, kodwa ngokukhawuleza uqala ukuqonda ukuba ukhuphuka ngokwenene elukhumbeni ukuze abonise ukuba akabi ngaphezu kwabanye. Ngobudlelwane obusondeleyo ngezihlandlo, aba bantu abaselula bathi abakakholelwa kubo kwaye abayi kufeza nantoni na.
Ukunceda umntu onjalo, kufuneka uhlale emkhuthaza ukuba afinyelele iinjongo azinokuzibeka, kodwa uyaba nokuya kubo. Akuyimfuneko ukuthetha ukuba nguye owona mhle kwaye unengqondo. Kodwa unokwazi kuye ukuba unamandla okwaneleyo okufezekisa into kwaye unokuyisebenzisa xa engesabi kwaye akholwe kuye ngokwakhe, kunye namakhono akhe kunye namakhono akhe. Kwakhona, kubalulekile ukumkhumbuza ngokucacileyo ukuba akufanele kubonakale engcono kunokuba. Kwindoda eselula inempawu ezintle, kusemfuneko ukuba ziphuhlise kwaye zibonakalise ukuba zingaphandle kobugcisa obungokwemvelo, kodwa ngezenzo. Kwaye, ke, loo mntu kufuneka ahlale ebona inkxaso kuwe. Ukuba umntu uyazi ukuba umntu uyamthanda ngokunyanisekileyo, kungekudala okanye kamva uya kukwazi ukuzithanda aze amkele oko akuyo, kunokuba angathanda ukuba yintoni.