Ngoko, ukuphendula umbuzo, nokuba ingaba umfazi unokwenza umntu onamandla, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda ukuba uthetha ukuthini ngokwenene ngombono wamandla. Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba ukwenza umfana onjalo kuthetha ukuba umenze umntu onokwenza izigqibo, enze ukhetho, ungabi ukwesaba ukuphendula ngenxa yezenzo zakhe, ufeze into kwaye ungalokothi uziqinisekise ngeendleko zabanye. Kodwa, yintoni inokuyenza umfazi ukuze utshintshe umfana. Indlela yokwenza umntu onamandla kwaye owenene, ukuba unengqondo kwaye uvila. Ukuze wenze umntu oqinileyo, kufuneka umkhuthaze. Kule meko, unesishukumiso esisodwa - wena. Kanye ngenxa yowesifazane, indoda iya kutshintsha. Ngoko ke, ukuze ukhuthaze indoda, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uyakuthanda. Nangona, ukuba indoda ayithandi kwaye ayikwazi ukuyithanda, yintoni inqaku kwaye uchitha ixesha lakho namandla. Kodwa, ukuba ungowesifazane ofuna ukuba naye, ukuba kungekho njalo, emva kwexesha elide, ngoko unokuzama ukutshintsha yonke into. Ngokuqinisekileyo, musa "ukumbona" le nkwenkwe kwaye umkhumbuze ukuba unobuthakathaka ongenakwenza nantoni na. Ubuncinane, akufuneki ukwenza okokuqala. Kodwa, ukuba iindlela azichaphazeli umntu, esiza kuthetha ngazo ngoku, ngoko ungasebenzisa into engaphezulu.
Ngoko, yintoni enokuyenza xa umntu ethobekile kwaye eneentloni, esaba ukuthetha into kwaye abuze kwakhona. Okokuqala, ungenzi nto kuye. Akuyimfuneko ukubonisa ukuba ibhinqa lenza konke. Ungumuntu obuthathaka kunye nobuthathaka, omele ukhuselwe kwaye ukhuselwe. Khumbula ukuba kunye nendoda ebuthathaka, kwimeko apho umfazi eqala ukubonisa amandla, ngokuzenzekelayo uyamhlela ukuba angenzi. Emva koko, kutheni nento kwaye ulwa nawe xa kukho intombazana ecaleni kwakho oza kuthatha isigqibo malunga nayo yonke into, avumelane, afune kwaye ayilungele. Ngoko ke, zama ukuzinqanda kwaye ungabancedi kwiimeko ezinjalo, nokuba, ngamanye amaxesha, ukulimaza kwakho. Indoda enjalo kufuneka ihlale ishukunyiswa kwisenzo. Makuqonde ukuba ibhinqa lakhe lijongene nento yokuba akakwazi ukukhetha isigqibo. Ukuba umntu uyakuthanda, akayi kukwazi ukwenza izinto ixesha elide, okukuzisa iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeengozi.
Kodwa, ukuba umntu kwaye akaqhubeke engenzi nto, kwaye uyaqonda ukuba imiphumo yale nto ingaba yintlekele, qala naye ngokubalulekileyo malunga nayo yonke into. Cacisa ukuba, nangona uluthando, awukwazi ukuba nomntu ongenakukumela, kungekhona kuwe. Ndixelele ukuba ungowesifazane kwaye awuhlose ukujongana nobunzima kunye nezigqibo kumagxa akho. Kufuneka usebenze kwikomiti kwaye indima ephambili idlalwe yindoda, kungekhona ibhinqa. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyakuthanda kwaye ufuna ukuba ube kunye, kufuneka uguqule izikhundla zakho zobomi kwaye ulahle izinto eziyinkimbinkimbi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, uhlala ukulungele ukukunceda nokumxhasa kwimeko enzima, kodwa kuphela xa ubona ukuba lo mfana ulwa naye, kwaye akayithathi yonke into kwaye ayenzi.
Amadoda akhathazeke kakhulu xa abizwa ngokuba buthathaka, nokuba ngaba. Zama ukuyidlala. Yithi uziva unamandla ngakumbi kuye, kodwa kufuneka ube buthathaka. Mhlawumbi, oku akukwenzekayo kwaye into emele ityala lakho kumfana wakho. Uyanxeka, ngenxa yokuba wathandana nomntu onamandla ongekho. Ngoko ke, ufuna ukuba aziphathe ngokuhambelana nomfanekiso wendoda yangempela. Ewe, uya kuqala ukubonisa ukuba yonke into ayilunganga ngokupheleleyo, kodwa, kulo mzekelo, kuyimfuneko ukuba usebenze ngeenyaniso kunye nemimiselo yangempela. Tshela le nkwenkwe, ziziphi iimeko aziphathe ngokungafanelekanga kwaye kutheni. Musa ukuhlambalaza uphakamise ilizwi lakho. Yiba nokuthula kwaye ubanda. Musa ukuyithelekisa nabani na. Kodwa, ngamanye amaxesha unako ukunika imizekelo yale ndlela yokuziphatha komntu, egxininisa kwinto othanda ukuba wenza ngayo ngale ndlela.
Kukholelwa ukuba amadoda akufanele ahlaziswe kwaye athethe ngobuthathaka babo. Kodwa, ngamanye amaxesha kuyafaneleka ukwenza njalo. Amanye amadoda adinga umntu ukuba abatshintshe ukuba batshintshe umlinganiswa wabo kwaye loo mntu unokuba nguwe.
Kakade ke, le meko ingengozini, kuba kungenzeka ukuba indoda yakho iya kuthatha into embi kakhulu, ikugxeka ukuba awufuni ukummkela njengokuba uyayifumana kwaye iphule ubuhlobo. Kodwa ke, kubalulekile ukwenza ngale ndlela, kuba akunakwenzeka ukuba kunye nomntu ongazimeli bonke ubomi bakhe. Ngoko ke, kungcono ukuphula ubudlelwane ngexesha langaphambili kunokuba uhlupheke ixesha elide. Ukuba ubona ukuba lo mntu akayenzi okanye uvuselele, okanye ukhuthaza, ukuba akayikhathaleli indlela osabela ngayo, kwaye zinjani na izimo ezinokubangela ukuba ungakhathazeki, uhlala nje ukubeka umbuzo ngokukhawuleza. Tshela umfana ukuba awuhlali ujabule ngokuziphatha kwakhe, kwaye awukwazi ukuba nomntu obuthakathaka ofihla emva kwamanye abantu. Uyabona inani lamadoda okwenene angenza oko akakwaziyo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda, awuyi kubaphulaphula, kuba ixesha likhona. Ukuba oku kuqhubeka, kuya kufuneka ulahle ulwalamano lwakho, nangona isinqumo esinjalo asilula ukwenza. Ngoko ke, mayeke isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukutshintsha okanye nokuba ufanele uhlule ngakumbi. Ukuba umntu uyakuthanda kwaye unakho amandla, uya kuqokelela intando ibe yintonga kwaye uzame ukutshintsha yonke into. Amandla angaphakathi akusoloko ezalwa. Ungayisebenzela, kodwa kuphela ukuba uyayifuna. Ukuba loo mntu akayinyamekeli - mvumele ahambe kunye nehlabathi kwaye akhangele umntu oqinileyo ongenakufuneka utshintshwe. Emva koko, ukuba ibhinqa lizama ukutshintsha umntu, ihlala yinobudlova phezu kwayo "mna", oku kunqanda umntu. Ngaba kufuneka sidilize umntu ongeke ahluke ngokwenene?