Enyanisweni, kutheni ukwakha ikusasa nomntu, wenze utyalo-mali oluthile kumntu, ukuba unokufumana umntu oza kunelisa yonke iminqweno kwaye akayi kufuna into ebuyayo. Kwaye ukuba kuyimfuneko, unokufumana omnye umfazi kwaye uqhubeke nobomi bakho obulula ngaphandle kokukhathazeka neengxaki.
Kodwa ke, yintoni enokuyenza xa umntu engafuni ulwalamano olunzulu? Okokuqala kufuneka ufumane indlela ekuphatha ngayo kunye noko akufunayo kubuhlobo bakho. Kungenzeka ukuba umntu osemncinci akalungele ukuthatha uxanduva lomnye umntu. Oku kunokwenzeka ngenxa yobudala, ubunjani, isimo sengqondo kunye nendlela yokuphila. Kuphela nje kukho amadoda afuna "ukuhamba". Baqale baxwayise abafazi ukuba abakulungele ukubopha into enzulu kwaye bahlala kuphela namhlanje. Abafana abanayo abanokusola, kuba baqala ukunyaniseka kunye nawe kwaye bangenzi uthanda. Ngokuphambene noko, loo mfana uya kuba nemihlali ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akayi kubangela iimvakalelo zothando ngomfazi. Ngokunyanisekileyo akafuni ukucasula nabani na ukulimaza. Uqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba kunye nendoda enjalo njengamantombazana onjengaye, akukho mntu uya kuvuya yaye ngokukhawuleza uyalumkisa ngalo. Kodwa, a bafazi, abantu banomdla kwaye, ngendlela yabo, bezithemba. Siyaziqinisekisa ukuba sinokutshintsha kwaye silungise loo mntu, simenze ahlale phantsi kwaye aqale ubudlelwane bomntu oyedwa. Ngelishwa, oku kunokwenzeka kuphela kwinani elincinci lamatyala. Kungokuthi loo mfana kufuneka ahlangane nalowo, NGOKUBA, ngenxa yokuba unokunikela inkululeko yakhe. Kwaye abantu abancinci abasoloko bekulungele ukulungiselela imibingelelo enjalo, nangenxa yexhoba elinye. Ewe, umntu onjalo unokuthanda intliziyo intombazana, kodwa akayi kuvuma iimvakalelo zakhe, kuba uyazi ukuba kungekudala okanye kamva uya kuguqula, ngoko kubangela intlungu kwaye aphule intliziyo yakhe. Yingakho xa sifuna ubuhlobo obunzulu, emva koko, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda ukuba sizama bani ukwakha. Amanye amadoda akakwazi ukutshintsha nantoni na. Kwaye oko akuthethi ukuba ngabantu ababi. Ngokuphambene noko, loo madoda, ngokuqhelekileyo, aziphatha ngokunyanisekileyo. Ngokukhawuleza bayalumkisa malunga neenjongo zabo baze bachaze oko kungafanelekile, kwaye into engayilindelanga kwiimeko ezinjalo. Kuphela nje ukuba amantombazana enza iingongoma zabo kunye neengcamango zabo, kwaye ke bazama ukufanisa umfanekiso womfana wabo othandekayo. Kodwa, abantu abakwazi ukulungiswa nokutshintshwa ukuba abayithandi. Ngona uthando oludliwayo kunxalenye yakho aluyi kumenza umntu wentsapho eyisibonelo, ade ade isigqibo sokuba ixesha lokuba njalo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyazi ukuba le nkwenkwe yindoda ka-ladies, musa ukuvuselela nokwakha izilwanyana. Kungcono nje ukusabalalisa kunye naye ukuba uyaqonda ukuba uthanda. Ngaphandle koko, uya kuphila, uziva uziva intlungu kunye nentukuthelo evela kwiintlungu zomona.
Kakade, kunokukho esinye isizathu sokuba loo mntu akafuni ubuhlobo obunzulu. Akayithandi nje. Mhlawumbi unani nje kuba ubona iimvakalelo zakho, uziva uxolo kuwe kwaye umjonga njengomhlobo omhle. Kukulungele yena, xa kukho umntu ozayo kuye oya kwamkela, uyaqonda kwaye uyakholisa. Kodwa akafuni ngakumbi, kuba uyazi-akanakho ukunikela ngokubuyisela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungumntu osondeleyo kumntu, kwaye akafuni ukuphulaphula ubuhlobo bakho ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukwesaba ukukunika ithemba ngento ethile, kuba uyayiqonda - inokwenzeka, ininzi ayinako. Kakade, oku kubuhlungu kakhulu kwaye akubi. Wonke umfazi ufuna ukuthandwa kunye nokuzikhethela. Akukho mntu ukhankanywa kwithemba lokuba ngumntu ongena endaweni nje, umdlalo ongasetyenziselwa ukulibala umntu. Kodwa kule meko yonke into incike kuphela kumfazi. Xa evakalelwa kwaye eqonda ubudlelwane bomntu ngokwakhe, kuyimfuneko ukuzigqiba isigqibo sokuba aphile njani, yintoni inxaxheba yokwenza kunye nendlela yokuqhubeka. Ukuba umntu akafuni ulwalamano oluqinileyo - akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kubafuna ngenye imini. Enyanisweni, ebomini kukho ukuhlala kungekho kwimithetho. Kungenzeka ukuba lo mntu ubona ngokwenene yakhe kuphela. Kodwa, akukho mntu uya kuqinisekisa ukuba oku kuza kwenzeka. Kalula, usekufuphi kuwe kulula kwaye kulula, uyalibala ngeengxaki zakhe, ngezinga elithile, uzive ephila. Mhlawumbi ungumhlobo wakhe osondeleyo kunye nomntu ongokoqobo. Kodwa, ngelanga, akakuboni njengobomi boqobo. Ngoko ke, kwimeko enjalo kufuneka wenze into kwaye wenze isigqibo, kungenjalo kuya kufikelela ekupheleni kokufa, kwaye uya kugula kwaye ungenakubuhlungu.
Unokumisa ulwalamano kwaye uzame ukulibala loo mfana. Mhlawumbi olu khetho luya kuba lufanelekile kuwe. Kulungile, "ungaphaya" kwintlungu ngokukhawuleza, kunokuba uhlupheke iminyaka emininzi, uzama ukusinda kukungathandwa ngumntu oye waba ngumoya. Ngoko ke, kungcono ukuqokelela intando ibe yintonga kwaye uzame ukuphula ulwalamano kanye kunye. Kodwa, ukuba awufuni ukwenza oku, zama elinye iqhinga. Bonisa umfana ongenakukufuna kwakhona, ukuba awukhathalele indlela adibana ngayo kwaye ungaziva nantoni na. Ewe, kunzima kakhulu ukudlala indima enjalo, kodwa yintoni enokuyenza ukuba umntu akafuni ulwalamano oluqinileyo, ungathini ukwenza loo nto. Ukuba umntu ujwayele ukuba nawe, usondele kuye kwaye akayi kulahleka naphi na, uya kunkwantya kwaye abukele ukuziphatha okubandayo. Umfana uya kufumana ingqiqo yobunini. Kungaba kuhle ukuba insizwa ayikwazi ukushiya kwaye iya kufuna ukukubuyisela. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuphazamiseka okunjalo kukunyanzela abantu ukuba baqonde iimvakalelo zabo baze baqonde oko bazama ukuthetha ngabo. Ekugqibeleni, awukwazi ukulahlekelwa yinto ongekho. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, lo mkhuba uya kukhumbuza loo mfana ukuba uyaziqhayisa kwaye uyazihlonela, kwaye, kuya kuthi, kuya kwenza ukuba acinge malunga nokuba ubuhlobo obungathandekiyo buyinto engathandekiyo.