Uqhagamshelwano kunye noontanga ludlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuphuculweni kwentlalo kunye nentlalo. Ngamhlobo, umntwana ufunda ukuthembela kunye nentlonipho, uxhulumaniso olulinganayo - konke abazali abangenakukufundisa.
Ukungakwazi kwabantwana ukwenza abahlobo okanye kuba ngumhlobo nomntu ixesha elide kuqala ukuvela kwi-kindergarten. Isiqalo sokuqala esinoyiko ngokuqhelekileyo ukuba intsana ayitsheli abazali bakhe nantoni na malunga nabantwana beqela lakhe okanye iyanqikaza. Thetha kwiqela lootitshala, mhlawumbi liya kuqinisekisa ukukhathazeka kwakho.
Kuqala kuphi?
Ukuba umntwana wakho uneminyaka engaphantsi kweminyaka emithandathu ubudala kwaye unamalungu ambalwa okanye awunayo yonke into, mhlawumbi ubuninzi, izakhono zentlalo zifundwa ngokucotha ngakumbi kunabanye abantwana. Ngoko ke, ukuze ufunde ukuba ngabahlobo, akakwazi ukwenza ngaphandle koluncedo lwakho. Kwaye kufuneka uqale apha ngokukwazi ukuthetha nabanye abantwana uze uqale incoko. Ukwenza oku, kungcono ukhethe umntwana onentlalontle kunye novelwano kwiqela leontanga okanye kwididi. Yaye ndenyuka. Njengoko kucetyiswa kwingoma edumileyo, kulula ukuba uqale ingxoxo ngokumomotheka. Emva koko unokuthi: "Sawu, igama lam nguPetya. Ndiyakwazi ukudlala nawe?"
Ngexesha elide umntwana, kunye nezakhono eziqhelekileyo zentlalo, unokuzibamba. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenzeka emva kokuxinezeleka okukhulu: xa abazali beqhawula umtshato, utshintsho lwesikolo okanye i-kindergarten, xa ushukuthela kwelinye idolophu njalonjalo. Kungangoko kunokwenzeka, kufuneka ulungiselele umntwana ukutshintshwa okuzayo, ukuxoxa ngezinto ezenzekayo kuye, nokufumanisa oko kuya kuguqula ebomini bakhe emva koko, kunye nendlela afuna ukuziphatha ngayo kweli phepha.
Ezahlukeneyo
Ngendlela, akukhathazeki ukuba bangaphi abahlobo abaza kuba nayo. Inani labangane abafunayo yinkwenkwe nganye kuxhomekeke kwindlela enamahloni ngayo, okanye ngokuchaseneyo, kunye nentlalontle. Ukuze kuphuhliswe izakhono zonxibelelwano, abantwana abaneentloni kufuneka babe nabamalungu amabini okanye abathathu abahle, kodwa baxakeke kakhulu kwiinkampani ezinkulu.
Umzali ngamnye ufuna umntwana wakhe athandwe phakathi koontanga. Into ephambili ngexesha elifanayo kukubonisa ukuzimisela kwaye ushiye bucala zakho. Iingxaki ziqala xa abazali kunye nabantwana benemimoya eyahlukileyo. Umama onobudlelwane kunye noyise, ophethe unyana okanye intombi eneentloni, ngamanye amaxesha uqala ukubeka uxinzelelo olunzulu kwiintsana. Kodwa umzali ongenayo, ngokuchaseneyo, uyabakhathalela ngabahlobo abaninzi abavela kumntwana othandekayo - kubonakala ngathi kungcono ukuba nomnye, kodwa ungumhlobo wenene.
Eninzi ayilona ingcono
Kuhle xa umntwana ejikeleziweyo ngabahlobo abaninzi babahlobo. Kodwa ngokuphathelele ubuhlobo obusondeleyo, umgaqo "ngakumbi, uphelele" unqabile ukusebenza. Nangona umntwana onentlalontle unokuntula ulwalamano oluqinileyo oludinga ngokwenene, apho aqondwa khona kwaye wamukelwa njengalowo.
Inani labahlobo liyahluka njengoko umntwana ekhula, njengoko umgama wobuhlobo ngokwawo uguquka. Kwizingane zasesikolweni nabantwana abancinane, abahlobo, njengomthetho, baba ngabantwana abafikeleleke kubo, ngokuqhelekileyo abamelwane egcekeni. Kwaye ekubeni abaninzi banelisekisa le migaqo, ngoko umbuzo othi "Bangobani abahlobo bakho?" Umntwana omncinci uvame ukunika uluhlu lwamagama.
Kamva isangqa sabahlobo sincinci - abantwana baqala ukukhetha, ukuqhubeka kwintetho yabo kunye nokuthanda kwabo. Kwaye abafana bahlala bethembekile kwinqanaba labangani babo ixesha elide. Kodwa, nangona uxhulumano olunjalo lubonakala luqilima, kwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo ubuhlobo obusakuba buhlobo buya kuphazamiseka xa omnye wabahlobo ngokwenyama okanye ngokomoya ekhula ngokukhawuleza kunomnye. Ngokomzekelo, omnye umhlobo uqala amantombazana athile, kunye nomnye unomntwana omncinci, kwaye akakho okwenyama ngokomzimba.
Kodwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntwana uneminyaka emi-5 okanye eyi-15 ubudala, ukungakwazi ukuba ngumhlobo okanye ukulahlekelwa ngumhlobo kukuvavanywa nzima. Kwaye abazali kufuneka bamncede ukuba abhekane neemeko ezinzima.
Abazali banokunceda njani?
Yakha amathuba ohlobo. Njalo ubuze umntwana ukuba angathanda ukumema umhlobo wakhe ukuba atyelele okanye abe neqela labangane bakhe okanye nabamelwane. Mema omnye wabantwana kwikhaya labo, abantwana bafumana uqhagamshelwano ngokulula, bathetha ngabanye. Mfumana umsebenzi owamthandayo - icandelo lezemidlalo okanye isangqa somsila, apho umntwana angakwazi ukudibanisa kunye nokuthetha nabo.
Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuthetha okulungileyo. Xa uxoxisana nomntwana indlela yokuqwalasela iimvakalelo zomnye umntu, mfundise uvelwano kunye nobulungisa, ubeka kuye kubaluleke kakhulu izakhono zentlalo eziza kumncedisa kamva ukuba athole abahlobo bokwenene, kodwa nokuba abe ngabahlobo ixesha elide. Abantwana bangafunda imfesane emva kweminyaka engama-2-3.
Xoxa nomntwana wabangane bakhe kunye nobomi bakhe, nokuba sele sele eselula. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana, ngokukodwa asebekhulile, banqwenela ukuthetha ngeengxaki zabo nabahlobo. Kodwa bona, ke, bafuna imfesane kunye nosizo lwakho. Ukuba umntwana wakho uthi "Akukho mntu uyandithandayo!", Akukho mntu umele amthuthuzele ngamagama anqumlayo athi "Siyamthanda uyihlo." okanye "Akukho nto, uzakufumana abahlobo abatsha." - umntwana wakho unokugqiba isigqibo sokuba awuthabatheli iingxaki zakhe. Endaweni yoko, zama ukumxelela ngokucacileyo malunga noko kwenzeke kuye, ingaba uxabana nomhlobo ongcono, okanye uvakalelwa eklasini "iqhuba elimhlophe". Hlaziya kunye naye izizathu ezinokubambisana (mhlawumbi umhlobo ube nomoya obi) kwaye uzame ukufumana iindlela zokuxolelana.
Umdala umntwana uya kuba, ukuzithemba kwakhe kukuqala ukuchaphazeleka ngempumelelo yakhe kwiqela laontanga kunye nembono yabanye abantwana ngaye. Kwaye ukuba umntwana engenabahlobo, akafowunelwa okanye amenyelwe ukuzalwa, uqala ukuziva ngathi uhlaselwe. Akunzima kuphela kumntu omncinci - abazali bakhe banento yokuhlambalaza abanye abantwana, abazali babo kunye nakumntwana wabo ukuba 'bangabi njengawo wonke umntu.' Ukongezelela, abazali bavakalelwa benetyala malunga noko kwenzekayo. Kodwa ukungenelela kwabo kwimiba evelele kufuneka ihlale ilumkile. Unokumxhasa umyeni kwaye uncede ngeengcebiso, kodwa ekugqibeleni, kufuneka asombulule ingxaki ngokwakhe.
Oku kubalulekile!
Ukuba umntwana unxamnye nomhlobo, mcebise ngeendlela ezikhuphekileyo zokuphuma kwimeko. Dumise umntwana wakho ngokulungileyo, izenzo ezintle kwaye ubeke ityala xa ubonisa ukuzingca.
U-Natalia Vishneva, isazi sezengqondo kwi-baby-land.org