Intombi yam yathandana nomntu omdala

Abantwana bakhula ngokukhawuleza, kwaye asinaso ixesha lokujonga emva, njengoko kubonakala ukuba sele sele bekhulile. Okanye, ubuncinane, bacinga njalo. Yingakho abanye oomama kufuneka bakhathazeke ngento yokuba intombi yam isithandana nomntu omdala. Kuchanekile ukuba usebenze njani kuloo meko, ukugcina umntwana kwiimpazamo, kodwa ngoko ungabhubhisi ubudlelwane?

Ewe, kuyimfuneko ukuba uziphathe ngokucophelela kwaye uzifundise. Ubuninzi bobuncinci kunye nothando lokuqala luguqulela abantwana ukuba bangabalulekanga kwaye banenkani, ngoko ke ukuthintela apha akuyi kuncedwa nangaliphi na indlela. Ukuba wenza nje intombazana ingabonisi kunye nomthandi wayo, uya kukuthiya. Ewe, le ntliziyo yesikhashana, kwaye emva kokukhula, intombi yakho iya kuqonda yonke into. Kodwa, ngoku, uya kuqwalasela ukuba uyamthabatha ulonwabo nothando lwabo bonke ubomi. Nangona uvale izindlu zakhe kwaye ubeke ulawulo olupheleleyo, uya kukwazi ukufumana indlela yokubalekela, kwaye kukukhathaza, uya kwenza izinto ezingenangqondo kunokuba akwazi ukuzenza.

Ngoko, zama ukuba ngumhlobo wakhe. Kulo nyaka, abantwana abaselula banethemba ngakumbi kubahlobo babo kunabantwana babo. Kumele aqonde ukuba awuyi kumgweba, vumela kwaye ufundise. Ukongezelela, musa ukuxelela bonke abahlobo kunye nabaziwayo ukuba intombi yam isithandana nomntu omdala. Intombazana iya kukhubeka ngawe, eyazi ukuba loo mvakalelo, ebudeni beli xesha ibonakala iyona nto ihlambulukileyo kwaye iqhaqhaqhaqhaqhekileyo, sele isesidlangalaleni.

Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma kule meko iya kuhlala isetyenziswano kunye nentombi ye-tete-tete. Ungalokothi ucinezele kwaye ungazami ukukhipha ulwazi. Mxelele ukuba unokuthetha kuphela oko akufunayo kwaye xa efuna. Ewe, le ntombazana ayiyi kukhawuleza kukuthemba, ingakumbi ukuba ngaphambili sele uvele uxabana ngezizathu ezinjalo. Kodwa, ukuba ukhetha imodeli yohlobo lokuziphatha, kungekudala umntwana uya kuqonda ukuba unokuthemba yonke into kwaye uqale ukuthetha ngeengxaki zakho. Olu lwazi luyakunceda ukuba wenze isigqibo malunga nendlela engcono yokuqhubeka ngayo.

Enyanisweni, kwiimeko ezininzi, ubudlelwane obunjalo abukho nantoni na enhle, kuba umntu omdala ozayo okanye kamva uswelekile ngumntwana oyintombi yakho. Kodwa kukho amaxesha apho umthandi wakhe ephendulela ukuba ngumfana onobuqili kwaye onzulu othanda intombazana. Ukuze uqonde oku, cela intombi yakho ukummema ukuba atyelele. Kodwa nangona kunjalo, musa ukugxininisa nokunyanzelisa. Umthetho nje ngokuba awubalulekanga kuwe. Ukuba loo mntu uyayenqaba isimemo, oku kuqinisekisile ngokupheleleyo ukunyaniseka kwakhe. Ukuqhelana nomama wentombazana, ngokwenene, iyabethusa kuphela abo abangafuni ukukwazi ukumenza amabango kuye amantombazana athile.

Kwimeko apho uyavuma, zama ukuvavanya, kunye nesimo sakhe sengqondo. Enyanisweni, ngamnye umama ufuna umlingani ogqityiweyo kumntwana wakhe, kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba ufanele ukucinga ngokufanelekileyo nangokulinganayo.

Xa uqhagamshelana nomfana oselula, uzama ukungabi nxamnye kwaye akukho nto ithetha ngayo intombi yakho inokumcaphukisa okanye ukumthobela okanye umfana. Nangona xa uqala ukujonga ukuba olu luhlobo oluthileyo, qhubeka uziphatha ngendlela engokwemvelo kunye nobungane. Ngokuqinisekileyo ufuna ukuba intombazana ikuphulaphule, ngoko kufuneka ugcine isimo sesithandwa sakhe.

Ukuba le nsizwa iziphatha ngokufanelekileyo, ngoko, mhlawumbi, kungcono ukumnika ithuba. Zama nje, ngokukhawuleza, ukujonga imeko. Kungenzeka ukuba le nsizwa iya kuba yonwabile umntwana wakho. Ngoko musa ukuzivumela ukuba ube nobandlululo. Njalo ube nenjongo.

Kodwa kuthekani xa ufumanisa ukuba umfana ongeyena ufanelekile intombi yakho? Kule meko, umele uqinisekise ngaye. Kodwa ungazami ukuyihlambulula amanzi, ulungelelanise imeko edibeneyo. Akunakwenzeka ukuba intombazana iya kukukholelwa. Inokwenzeka ukuba, uya kuthetha ukuba wenze ngokuzibambela oku kwaye ufumane izizathu eziyinkulungwane zekhwenkwe yakho, kwinto enokungaqiniseki, ngokusemthethweni.

Ukunyanzeliswa yindlela ephela yokuphembelela kwisigqibo sentombi. Kufuneka uxoxe naye rhoqo, xubusha umfana ngendlela akwenza ngayo kubahlobo bakhe. Kwintetho yakhe, kuya kubakho ukunqumla isaziso sokungazinzi kwezinye iimeko. Yiloo nto esiyidingayo ukuqala. Ngengozi, cela malunga noko akuthandiyo, zama ukulinganisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuba kutheni le nto yenzeka. Kodwa ungaze ushiye igama lokugqibela. Yenza intombi yakho ibe nethuba lokuqonda yonke into, kwaye ungazami ukukukholisa. Xelela amabali akhe afundisayo ngeemeko ezinjalo, kodwa zama ukuqiniseka ukuba yonke into ayibonakali njengento yokuziphatha. Intombazana kufuneka ivakalelwe kukuba uyathetha ngokukhawuleza kwaye akayi kumphoqa ukuba anikezele intanda yakhe. Zonke izisombululo zayo mazibe zimeleyo. Ubuncinane kufuneka acinge njalo. Yiba nesineke, uziphathe ngokuzibamba kwaye uqaphele. Ungaze ubonise isimo sakho sengqondo kumntu. Unobulumko ngaphezu kwentombi yakho kunye nentombazana yakhe, ejikeleza intombazana eneendlela ezinokuqala, amaxesha amaninzi. Ngoko sebenzisa amalungelo akho. Njalo yenza ngokubhekiselele kwimeko. Intombazana yakho kufuneka icinge ukuba ungumhlobo wayo, kodwa ngelo xesha uziva ungegunya lokungaqiniseki kuwe. Ukuba unako ukufezekisa oku, amazwi owathethiweyo aya kuba yimithetho yakhe, nokuba le ntombazana ayiyiqondi loo nto.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, kufuneka ulahleke ubudlelwane obubi ngokukhawuleza kunokwenzeka, kodwa kwiimeko kunye nabaselula, ukukhawuleza kunokunyusa konke. Ngoko-khathazeka uze uzame ukugcina izinto eziza kwenzeka kumntwana wakho. Zixelele: "Le yintombi yam, ngenxa yakhe, ndikulungele ukuba ndilinde, ndihlupheke-nje kungekulimaza!". Ukuba awuphuli kwaye ungahambi kumanyathelo angqongqo emfundo, ekugqibeleni, yonke into oyithethileyo iya kuba nenjongo, kwaye intombi yona iya kwenza ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Emva koko unokuphinda ulale kakuhle kwaye ungakhathazeki ukuba umntu uya kukwazi ukucaphukisa intombazana yakho aze aphule intliziyo yakhe. Emva kwakho konke, ekugqibeleni, nokuba umntwana (kunye nentombi yakho iya kuhlala yintsana yakho) yathandana nomntu omdala - akusiyo isiphelo sehlabathi!