Nsuku zonke umntwana uyaziqonda ngakumbi imeko yakhe kunye neziganeko ezenzeka kuye. Ukuba amathuba akhe ngoku angamvumeli ukuba angenelele kulo, uhlola indawo, ulinde umzuzu xa yena ngokwakhe unokuchaphazela izinto kunye nabantu. Apha esele ehamba, eqonda into abayithethayo kuye ... Ukulindele phambili ukumlinda ukuba anikwe ukulawula okude ukusuka kwi-TV. Kwiinyanga ezili-15, ubuchule bomntwana buqala ukubonakala ngokukhawuleza.
Khangela indawo yakho.
Ukufumana indawo yakhe ebomini, umntwana usebenzisa iindlela ezintathu. Ekuqaleni, isifundo esiqhubekayo, esakhutshwa ngumnqweno ongenakunqwenelekayo. Emva koko ukukhanyela: ukuthi "hayi" yindlela efanelekileyo yokwenza uhloniphe. Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, xelisa.
Ngomnyaka wesibini wobomi, umntwana ekucingeni kwakhe unikeza izinto ubomi babo, obanika amandla phezu kwabo. Uguqula isigxina kwisigubhu okanye ngentsimbi, i-blouse endala kwimpahla yokugqoka. Ukususela kuloo mzuzu umntwana uba ngumlawuli wehlabathi, apho kuphela ukucinga kwakhe kumisa imida. "Ukwenza njengomntu" kuvumela umntwana ukuba afunde ukuxelisa. Le nkqubo iqala ukususela kwiminyaka engama-2.5. Kule minyaka, wenza iipahla entlabathi, apho umama kufuneka "adle", okanye, ukuguqula isiqhekeza ebhodweni ezandleni zakhe, "uqhuba imoto." Umntwana uvelisa amava akhe, edlala needodoli aze abanike iindima ezahlukileyo. Ulahlekelwa yimeko awayeyifumana (kodwa akayikhumbuli kakuhle) ade awazi kakuhle. Ngoko, uyayicinga ibhere ngenxa yokungafuni ukutya, ukumbamba, ukugqoka, ukusongela ukungcola xa engayithobeli. Ukuzibeka endaweni yabazali, umntwana ulawula lo meko.
Ukwenza njengabantu abadala kuthetha ukuba baqonde kakuhle.
Imidlalo apho umntwana edlala indima yabantu abadala (abazali, ugqirha, umthengisi), mvumele ukuba abone abantu abadala "ngaphakathi". Umntwana oye wagxininisa ngokupheleleyo kuye, ngoku uzifaka ezicathulweni zabanye kwaye unokucinga indlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Ukumxelisa kumnceda ukuba aqonde kangcono ihlabathi elikujikelezayo: ingxoxo enkulu ngexesha lomdlalo imvumela ukuba akhulise intetho; ukudala umhlobo ocingayo, ngamanye amaxesha amnandi, ngamanye amaxesha awunakubekezelelwa, ufundisa ukuhlukanisa phakathi kweengcinga "ezilungileyo" (oko abazali bathi) kunye "nobubi."
Ngomnyaka wesithathu wobomi, umntwana ufika ekuzalweni kwesini sakhe kunye nendima yesikhathi esizayo ebomini apho ulwabelana naye ngesondo. Amakhwenkwe enza okuthile, adibanise, adlale imfazwe. Amantombazana athanda iidokodo, zama izambatho zikamama ngezithende, udlale kunye nezimonyo zikamama. Eli xesha lixakeke kakhulu kubazali, kuba lifuna ukuqapha ngokukhethekileyo. Umntwana akaqapheli ingozi kunye nomngcipheko awayezilawulayo, "edlala kumntu omdala". Kodwa ngeli xesha kukho indawo yokufumana. Nezinto ezihlekisayo ezihlekisa wonke umntu.
Ziziphi iidyshini ezinika umntwana?
iisethi zokudlala iimpahla, izixhobo okanye iimpahla ezindala zabazali ukuba umntwana angatshintsha kuba utata, umama, eZorro okanye i-princess ...
- amanani amancinci abalinganiswa beengxaki zezilwanyana, izifuyo, idonki onokugqoka. Umntwana uya kuqonda umama wakhe kangcono xa "unomntwana" wakhe, efuna ukunyamekela. Indlu yokudlala, ipulazi, igaraji, inkonzo yebhokisi, ityiti yokudlala yokudlala yokuqala ...
- Inxalenye enkulu yekhadibhodi ukuze akwazi ukwakha indlu, okanye ingubo endala, ukuze azakhele i-wigwam okanye itente.
Ukuba umama ufuna ukupheka isidlo sakusihlwa, ngoko unokuzisa umntwana kulo mbandela. Mthathe naye ekhitshini uze umcele ukuba "ancede". Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana bayavuma ngokuvakalayo. Yaye inyaniso yokuba umama abanikezele ngolu hlobo olubalulekileyo kubo uya kubakhuthaza ngakumbi. Nika umntwana izimbiza, iipuni, kunye nekiki, kwaye ulungiselele kunye nawe, isidlo sesidlo sakho okanye idoli. Okufanayo kunokunikezwa kumntwana xa uhlambulula. Mnike i-rag kwaye uphakalise ukuthungca. Umntwana uya kuvuya ngokubaluleka kwakhe. Musa ukulibala, ngoko kufuneka adunyiswe ngenxa yalo, kwaye ngokuhlwa uza kuxelela uyise okanye ugogo ukuba uncede njani unina. Kwaye umama wayengenakukwazi ngaphandle kokuncedisa. Zonke ezi zinto ziza kuphuhlisa izakhono zomntwana, ukuziphatha, okubalulekileyo ekukhuleni.