Umntwana oqhelekileyo, xa ephethe unina esiswini, uchitha ixesha lokuqala lokuphila kwakhe yedwa, ngokungafani namawele asondelene. Kwaye le nto ichaza ngeendlela ezininzi uthando lwabo olumangalisayo kwizinga "imiphefumlo yohlobo".
Ngenxa yokuthandana okunjalo, amawele angabonakalisa umphefumlo wabo emkhatsini okanye ukukhathazeka xa bengaboni omnye ixesha elide. Ukususela ekuzalweni kwabo, bazibona bebodwa kwaye bengabonakali! Kodwa ngexesha elifanayo, nangaphambi kokuzalwa, baqala ukulwa nobukhokeli. Kwaye sele sele sisesisu somama, omnye wabo uya kunqoba "intaba enkulu". Kwaye nguye oya kuba yinkokeli kwaye uya kubonakala, nangona iimbalwa ezimbalwa, kodwa ngaphambi kwewele lakhe. Kuyathakazelisa ukuba, nangona beyinto engabonakaliyo, i-rivalry yabo iya kuhlala ikhona nayiphi na, kweso sihlandlo esincinane.
Ngendlela eyiyo: "mna" okanye "thina"?
Xa kukho amawele asemini kwintsapho, abazali baqalisa ngokukhawuleza indlela yokuzimela: abantwana kufuneka babe yinto yonke into. Ukugqoka kunye nokudibanisa, iimathoyizi ezifanayo kunye nezinye izifo. Okokuthi, abazali benza ukuba abantwana babo abathandekayo bathande ngokufanayo. Kuyafana ngokuqwalasela. Ukuba udlala okanye ucokola, ngoko kunye zombini, ukwenzela ukuba iinxalenye zengqalelo zilinganiswe. Ngoko akumangalisi ukuba ngeendlela ezinjalo zemfundo yamawele, ekudala, abantwana baqonda ukuba "mna" kunzima kunabanye abantwana. Ingcamango ethi "Sisi" ibunjwe kwangaphambili kwaye ikhawulezileyo kunokuba yinto egobileyo. Abantwana abane-Twin ukususela ebuntwaneni baqonda ukunyuka kwengqalelo yabantu njengento ethile, bebazi kwangaphambili ukuba ukufana kwabo kuyona mthombo omkhulu wokuheha.
Ngoko yintoni umehluko?
Ukufana kwamawele akuthinti kuphela umntu ojikelezayo, kodwa kunokuchaphazela nokuphuhliswa kwengqondo yabantwana, ingakumbi ukuba abanabanye abazalwana nodade. Bangakwazi ukuhlakulela umkhuba wokuzimela "ngokufihlakeleyo" emva komnye, ngokufana kwazo, ukuba zibonwa nje njengezibini ezintle zezingane ezifanayo. Ekugqibeleni, oku kufana nokuya kuba yinto yabo eyona nto, engayisebenzisa rhoqo, kwaye ihlala ihlala nayo.
Kwaye kwezinye iimeko, amawele angazakhela i-microcosm eyabo, inhlabathi encinane kangangokuba akukho mntu, nokuba ngabazali bakhe, uya kufuna ukungena, ukukhetha ukuthetha kuphela nomnye, kuba bakhululekile kakhulu. Ngale ndlela banokuzifihla kuwo wonke umntu ojikelezayo, kwaye gxininisa. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, amawele, nangona engazi kakuhle, avelise ulwimi lawo, aqondakala kuphela kubo, kutheni abazali beqala ukukhathazeka ngabantwana babo. Ngoko unokuthintela njani "ukufuduka" kwintsapho?
Enyanisweni, yonke into ilula! Kukho ezinye iinkalo zemfundo yamawele, okwaneleyo ukunamathela.
Okokuqala , gxi ninisa ukungafani kwintsapho! Ukususela ekuzalweni, zama ukugqoka kunye nokuwahluza ngokuhlukileyo. (Ngokomzekelo, u-Masha umsila, u-Olya unama-pigtails, i-Vanya inesithuthuthu eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, uPetya unalo oluhlaza). Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba nayiphi na umntwana ifuna indawo yakhe, kwaye akunandaba nokuba unamawele okanye awukho. Makuvumeleke ukuba wonke umntu abe nezitishi zakhe, iincwadi, izitya, iipotyi, njl. Njalo, iifoto ngamnye zabantwana zibanceda ekwakheni zabo "I". Vumela wonke umntu abe ne-albhamu yakhe yesithombe, apho angafaka khona imifanekiso ayithandayo.
Okwesibini , sichitha ixesha nje kuphela, kodwa nifumane ithuba kwiiklasi kunye nemidlalo kunye newele ngalinye, ngokuqala kwasebuntwaneni. Emva kwayo yonke into, umntwana kufuneka aziva ingqalelo kumama noyise, egxile kuye kuphela. Akukho nto embi eya kwenzeka xa upapa uyahamba no-Masha epaki, kwaye umama uya kuthatha u-Olga ukuba ahambe emlanjeni. Ngokuchasene noko, xa befika ekhaya, baya kuba nako ukuxelela abanye indlela abahamba ngayo. Ukuba ngokwahlukileyo, abantwana baya kukwazi ukufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo nabanye abantwana, kwaye uqaphele ukuba kukho amanye amadoda anomdla onokudlala nawo, onokuthi ungadlala kumnandi, njengomzalwana okanye udade.
Okwesithathu , masibe nelungelo lokukhetha ngalinye lawa mawele: ziziphi iimathoyizi zokuthenga, zeziphi iziqhamo zokutya, indlela yokufunda incwadi. Nangona ukhetho olukhethekileyo luya kufundisa umntwana ukuba enze izigqibo aze aziqonde iimfuno zakhe.
Ngangoko kuyimfuneko ukutsho ukuba kulungile ukuvumela ukuba badlale ngokwabo, okanye babondle, ngokuhlala phantsi kwabo, hayi. Ukunikezelwa kweempawu zamawele, basesondelene kakhulu. Kodwa ufanele uzijwayeze, kwaye nabo, ukuba ngabanye. Xa umntwana omnye efuna ukubonakala kwamanye kwaye rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka, okwesibini uwamkela ngokuzenzekelayo, kwenkampani. Ngoko ke, okwesibini inomngcipheko wokunyusa. Okomnye, umzekelo, ukuba elinye iwele lidiniwe ngaphezu kokuqhelekileyo ("uphakamise kwiinyawo ezingalunganga", uphendule ngaphezulu, uphendule kwiinguqulelo zemozulu, njl.), Omnye ufuna ukumbeka embhedeni ngaphambili, gxininisa izandla uze uxolo. Amawele amama, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, kuya kufuneka abe kabini njengenyameko, ethembekileyo kunye nokufumana izinto!
Ngubani na inkokheli?
Amabini, ngoko iqela sele likhona! Yaye ubudlelwane phakathi kwalo bubakhelwe okhethekileyo, obuvela ngaphambi kokuzalwa. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwiimbini zeewele ziimpawu zobunkokeli zilawulwa yinkwenkwe yokuqala, kwaye okwesibini idlala indima yekhoboka. Inkokheli ikhokelela umntakwabo okanye udade, ekhupha zonke iintlobo zeengqungquthela, okanye oqala ukufumana ubuhlobo. Ngaloo mbambano, amawele aqhutywayo kaninzi akwenqabeli indima enjalo kwaye uyavumelana nazo zonke iziphakamiso zeenkokheli. Kodwa abazali kufuneka bangenelele ukuba le meko iba yinto evamile. Umzekelo, xa wenza umsebenzi, ikhoboka kufuneka libekwe njengomsebenzi oyintloko. Maye mawele ahlambe izitya kunye kunye, kodwa i-twin emibi iya kubika ngomsebenzi owenziwe phambi kwakho.
Kunzima kunzima ukujamelana namawele-abaholi. Kukho ulwalamano olunjalo! Ngaloo ndlela, nganye yezingane ifuna ukulawula, kwaye ngoko imfazwe yobunkokheli ibali eliqhelekileyo kwiintsapho ezinjalo. Kodwa ulwalamano olunjalo olungalindelekanga lunokuletha uxolo noxolo. Esinye sesisombululo siqhinga lesivumelwano. Ukuze ugweme ingxabano, vumela abazali baqeshe inqununu, kodwa ngeemeko eziza kuba lilandelayo liza kuba liyesibini. Umyalelo kufuneka ugcinwe ngokugqithiseleyo, ukuze kungabi namagqabha kunye nokungavumelani phakathi kwamawele. Yaye ukuba amawele akho azimela ngokuzikhethela ilungelo lokukhokela, ngaphandle kwemagrafu kunye nokukhuseleka, into ebaluleke kakhulu kukuxhasa olo demokhrasi kwimanyano yabo ngokungabikho ukuphazamiseka kwezobudlelwane babo.